Everlasting
by JennBenson
Summary: In the fourth installment of my TucksoNoahLie series, our little family has settled into their new home and their lives are seemingly back to normal. What else could possibly happen?
1. Chapter 1

**_I know I said there wouldn't be another TucksoNoahLie installment, but I guess I lied. We have some unfinished business to take care of and I just flat out miss writing this family. So a fourth story was born._**

 ** _This is set right after the two-shotter I did for "Tis the Season". While you don't necessarily have to go back and read that particular one, you do need to read the first three stories in this series: Come Together, By Your Side, and Unbreakable. Otherwise, 85% of this will not make sense._**

 ** _As you have all learned from my stories, it's not a smooth ride, but I always promise a happy Tuckson family at the end. So everyone take a deep breath, grab a drink, and let's begin!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

"Dad?" Charlie yelled into the house as the barreled through the front door after a long work day. She had likely missed dinner, but assumed Lizzie was still awake since it wasn't even 8pm and Ed was not a stickler for bedtime.

"Dad? Mom? I'm home!" She yelled again, examining the cluttered living room and wandering into the kitchen where she saw that the dishwasher was still running.

"Maybe they are outside," she muttered to herself, before dropping her bags and heading to the back door. As soon as she stepped onto the back porch, she was met with squeals and giggles as she watched her father run around the back yard with her daughter and her brother. They were all three carrying flashlights and yelling "TAG" at various times. It was clear that two year old Lizzie had no idea what she was doing, she just followed Noah and yelled every time he did.

Charlie stood and observed with a smile until little Lizzie Tucker realized she was there.

"Ma-Ma!" The toddler yelled, and ran with her chubby legs towards the back deck, dark brown curls bouncing as she moved. Charlie came down the steps and scooped her up, smothering her cheeks with kisses as the little girl giggled and happily cuddled her mother after a day without her.

"Hiya, Lizzie-Bug," Charlie cooed. "How was your day? Did Papa behave?"

"Pa-Pa," Lizzie said with a smile, pointing towards Ed who was following Noah over to greet Charlie.

"That's right," Ed said as he kissed Lizzie's fingers while she was firmly wrapped in her mother's embrace. "I'm your Papa, that's for sure."

"They have a good day?" Charlie asked, as they slowly made their way back into the kitchen. Ed filled a glass with water from the tap, guzzled it down, then refilled again.

"Yep," he said. "Noah got a Gold Star in school today, didn't ya bud?"

"Uh-huh!" he said, his eyes lighting up as he ran to his backpack. Charlie laughed as the six year old dug through his minion backpack, then triumphantly pulled out a piece and paper and ran back to his sister. "See? This da star. It say 'Noah Tucker is a Good Sitting-son."

"You mean citizen?" Ed asked with a little chuckle. Noah just nodded.

"That what I say, Daddy," he said with an eye roll. "Sitting-son."

Ever since the family moved to Sag Harbor, Noah had been flourishing in school. It was almost as if the rigidity of New York City schools was too much for his little spirit. Noah was a sweet, loving, fun little boy and a lot of city kids were a lot rougher around the edges. Schools were putting pressure on them as young as pre-K, and Noah just didn't respond well to that. His first year out at Sag Harbor, and his second year through Kindergarten, had the little boy in his prime. He was easily learning all the lessons, he had made several friends, was constantly invited on play dates, and likely had the busiest social calendar of the entire family.

Charlie puttered around the kitchen, warming up leftovers with one hand while Lizzie stayed glued to her neck. Like Noah, her life had picked up considerably after the family relocated out east. She was back to working full time as a sports writer for Newsweek and loving it. She was primarily assigned to college sports, which was exactly what she wanted, and had high hopes she would be sent back to Oklahoma for the Women's College World Series again. She was the first female writer for this particular publication, and had brought several changes to the team, including a higher focus on women's sports.

Despite loving being back in her element with writing and sports analytics, she was missing her time with her daughter. Lizzie, while happy at home with Ed, would still cling to her mother each night as soon as she got home. The little girl had gotten used to having her mom, grandparents, and uncle around almost 24/7. But as life finally evened out for the Tuckers, little Lizzie found herself thrown into a routine of childcare that she had never experienced before.

Ed Tucker, after everything the family had been through, put his foot down and demanded that he be the one to keep Lizzie during the day. Charlie hesitated at first, but with Olivia only working part time hours at the local precinct assisting with Special Victims cases, she knew he'd have help and relented to his demands. So as the new year started off, Charlie went back to work and Ed became fulltime Papa and he couldn't be happier. Ed and Lizzie had formed quite the bond over the last few weeks, and Charlie was sure nothing would ever make her happier than seeing the two of them together and smiling. Knowing her daughter was likely to grow up without a father figure, she would be forever grateful that she had a strong grandfather in her life. It would never replace the role of Trevor, but Lizzie would have a good man to look up to when the world seemed dark and scary.

"Liv still at the station?" Charlie asked, almost absent-mindedly, as she plopped at the kitchen table, situated Lizzie on her one knee, and blew on the steaming bowl of white chili Ed had prepared earlier that day.

"Yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "They have a pretty rattled teenage girl there, and she's responding well to Olivia."

"Of course," Charlie said with a smirk. "Momma is super-woman."

Ed just laughed and nodded his head in agreement.

"Can't argue with that."

* * *

"Did Charlie give any inclination as to how she was feeling about the trial?" Olivia asked as she lay limp on her husband's chest. She didn't get home until about midnight and had no sooner toed her shoes off before he had her pinned against the wall, biting and licking her neck. With her husband clearly in a mood, Olivia sighed and submitted herself to an hour of ravenous love-making. After he had made her come twice, and finally finished himself, she collapsed on his chest and tried to regain her bearings.

"Didn't bring it up," Ed said softly as he ran his fingertips along Olivia's spine and relished in the feel of her naked body against his – a feeling that would never get old. But at his last statement, Olivia propped herself up on his chest and eyed him.

"Ed…" she said softly, knowing he was avoiding the subject. "The trial starts next week. We've got to talk to her, see if she even wants to go…"

"I know," he said, rubbing his hand over his face before settling it against his wife's flushed cheek. "She's just been doing so well, and I didn't want to bring up yet another reminder of Trevor."

"Babe, I get that," Olivia said, knowing that Ed was basking in the happiness his family was finally experiencing. After years of hardship and trauma, they had been home free for a while and he was loathe to drag the past back up again.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "And we'll make a plan for the trial…"

"I love you," Olivia said, sliding back up his body and kissing his lips gently.

"I love you too," he said, before gripping her hips and flipping them so she was on her back.

Olivia let out a little yelp as his mouth descended upon her left nipple, followed by her right, and Olivia Benson-Tucker sighed at the pure pleasure he was creating.

Life was finally perfect for the Tuckers.

* * *

By the next morning, Ed didn't have to worry about bringing up the trial, because Charlie's nerves brought it up for him. He had just gotten Lizzie down for her mid-afternoon nap, when the front door flung open and Charlie ran in, heading straight for the bathroom. Hearing the sounds of her getting sick, Ed quickly prepared a cool wash rag and a glass of ginger ale and waited patiently in the hallway for her to emerge.

"Thanks, Dad," Charlie said meekly, as she came out of the bathroom, her face pale and her eyes red. Ed took her arm and led her to the couch, where they both sat down and Charlie put the rag on the back of her neck.

"You okay?" Ed asked cautiously, realizing these conversations were often best left to his wife.

"Yeah," she said, waving him off a bit. "An article ran today about the upcoming trial, and I guess I wasn't quite prepared to read about it."

"Ah."

"I definitely want to go," she said, almost as if she were talking herself through her own jumbled thoughts. "I need to go. I think it will give me the closure I really need to move on."

Ed just listened quietly, taking her hand in his and squeezing as a signal for her to continue.

"I just dread the nightmares it will bring back, ya know? I've finally got my feet under me. I feel solid, in a way I'm not sure I've ever felt. And I worry the trial will knock me back over."

"You know your mom and I will be right there with you," Ed said softly, realizing all he could offer was his presence and support. Charlie just looked at him and gave him a soft smile, despite her still fatigued looking face.

"I know," she said. "I couldn't do this without you both. I guess my anxiety just got the best of me today."

"That will happen, Charlie," Ed said, hoping he was saying the right thing. So often, these conversations happened between mother and daughter, and he was convinced it was better that way. But Olivia was back at the police station, so all he could do was try to say what she would likely say and hope he didn't butcher it. "You've been through more than anyone ever should. It's unrealistic to think you won't have days where it still bothers you…"

"I guess so," she said, looking down and picking at the hem of her sweater a bit. "Just sucks."

"It does suck."

"All of us being together doesn't suck, though," she said, trying to resolve herself to the positives in her life. "This new house, new neighborhood, new life. It's just…the best."

"It really is," Ed mused, thinking about how perfect things had been since they made the move out east. "Too bad Tessa can't come back for the trial."

"I know," Charlie agreed. "She seemed really conflicted about that when we last Skyped. But she's doing so much good."

"Must be hard, being away from everything she's familiar with…"

"Yeah," Charlie said, thinking about her might-as-well-be sister who had taken a position as a nurse in the Congo for the year. She was working with women and children who had been abused, helping them get back on their feet and making sure they were physically healed. "But she's amazing…"

"Reminds me of someone else I know," Ed said with a proud smile, but Charlie didn't return it this time. "What is it?"

"I dunno," she said. "I guess I feel a little…well…like everyone else is focused on ridding the world of horrible crimes, and helping victims…because of what I went through. But yet, I don't have that pull. I just wanna write about sports."

"Hey," Ed said firmly, turning her chin to look at him. "Charlie, your mom and I were always fighting crime. And…your story effected Trevor and Tessa in a way that surprised us all. But…you are doing exactly what you should be doing. Getting your life back. Being the victim of a crime doesn't mean you have to give up your dreams and go towards prevention work."

"I know, I just see all these stories about women who are using their ordeals and making big changes…the rape kit backlog, changing the culture on college campuses, and I feel bad because that isn't me."

"Listen to me, Charlie," Ed said, taking a deep breath and trying to channel as much as Olivia as he could. "I know we see all these stories right now, people speaking out, protesting, all of that. And, I get the urge to let that make you feel like you did something wrong. But it absolutely shouldn't. The only job you have, as a victim of a crime, is to survive. Nothing more and nothing less. Just because you don't want to travel around and tell your story, or change your career path, doesn't make you any less amazing for what you've been through. And maybe I'm bias, but you…Charlotte Tucker…are the strongest, most amazing survivor I know."

"I love you, Dad," she said, tears spilling down her cheeks as she leaned into him.

Ed just pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"Love you too," he said. "We'll get through this trial, just like we got through everything else. Together."

* * *

 ** _I know it was a short start - not a lot of action, but we all needed to get our bearings before the next chapter hits._**

 ** _How about ya leave me a review in the mean time?_**

 ** _#Tuckson #Endgame #Always_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Not wasting any time here...let's just dive right in..._**

 ** _#Tuckson_**

* * *

"Uncle Sonny, watch me on the monkey bars!" Noah yelled from his perch on top of the ladder, ready to sling himself across the play toy but wanting his friend to see it. Noah's school was on a mid-winter break, meaning that Ed and Olivia were strapped for childcare in order to attend court with their daughter. Amanda, though wanting to be there to support her friend, offered up her and Sonny's assistance after clearing it with Fin. Olivia quickly agreed, feeling relieved to have Noah and Lizzie in safe hands while they sat through what was likely to be a few days of hell.

It was an oddly mild day in New York City, considering it was early February, so Sonny suggested taking the kids to the park. Jesse and Lizzie occupied themselves in the sandbox, while Noah climbed just about everything he could find.

"I'm watching, bud!" Sonny said, making his way closer to the boy in case he fell. Turns out, that was unnecessary. Noah flew across the bars, without so much as a small hiccup, then dropped down and triumphantly threw his hands up. "Wow, No, you are really good at that!"

"Yep," he agreed, skipping over the Sonny. "I practice at school."

"Well, it shows."

"Your turn, Uncle Sonny!" Noah said with a smile, pointing over to the bars, in hopes that he'd have a monkey bar buddy. Sonny just laughed a little and patted the boy's head.

"Oh, I don't think so, No," he said. "You are already the best…."

"Okay," the boy said reluctantly. "Play catch now?"

"Definitely," Carisi responded, relieved that Noah let the whole monkey bar thing go. He would've been flat on his behind, and Amanda never would have let him live that down.

Noah ran over to wear Amanda was sitting with their stuff and keeping an eye on the girls.

"Auntie 'Manda, is the baseball in there?" Noah asked, plopping down next to her and beginning to dig in the bag himself.

"I think so," she said. "Keep looking and you'll find it, I'm sure."

Sonny came and sat on the other side of Rollins, taking a look at the sand-covered children.

"Gonna be a bitch to bathe them tonight…" he muttered under his breath, just loud enough to cause Amanda a chuckle.

"But they are having so much fun," she pointed out.

"FOUND IT!" Noah yelled, holding the baseball up, then hopping up to run over to the grass. "Come on, Uncle Sonny. You be the hitter."

* * *

Charlotte Tucker now found herself back inside of a courtroom, sitting in between her parents, and watching as Rafael Barba questioned the first of many witnesses in the case against Trevor's murderer. She had really spent too much time in a courtroom for someone who didn't have a career in law, she thought to herself, as she tried to pay attention to the questions Barba was throwing at this particular woman on the stand, but it was fruitless. Her mind kept wandering back to Trevor: when he was alive and they were happy and together. She was still so angry with herself for taking as long as she did to fully let him into her life, because it meant they really only had a few short months before he was killed.

As she sat there, imagining what life would be like if Trevor was still alive, picturing him giving Lizzie a bath and her having to go clean all the water up from the mess they would definitely make, she felt her mom squeeze her hand a bit, garnering her attention.

"Your Honor," Barba began, his voice a bit shaky after two larger men in suits approached him with a memo. "I'd like to ask for a recess."

"What is going on?" The judge asked, clearly not impressed with the sudden interruption, but Barba stood his ground.

"Your Honor, I feel confident you want to know this information before we proceed any further."

Charlie, confused, looked over at her father who had the same look of confusion on his face as she likely did. Turning to Olivia, she saw her eyeing Barba, trying to get him to look at her, but he refused. Both attorneys, the judge, and the two men in suits exited the back door of the courtroom, leaving the crowd murmuring in their absence about what was happening.

"What the hell," Charlie whispered, her hand gripping Olivia's even more tightly than before.

"I don't know," Ed said quietly, as he kept looking around the courtroom trying to find any sign that something wasn't right. But this interruption made no sense to him. "It's probably something to do with the evidence," he finally concluded, though his tone not as confident as he wished it were.

The family of three sat in silence for the next twenty minutes, as they waited for court to resume. Charlie was obviously nervous, as she would fidget with just about everything should could. Her legs would take turns restlessly bouncing, heeled boots clicking each time. Then she would shift to picking at her nails and cuticles, biting at them, and looking around for any sign that this long and nerve-wracking recess was a positive sign for justice. Olivia and Ed would take turns rubbing her back, hoping to offer some reassurance, but they were nervous themselves. The longer the recess went, the less optimistic either veteran law enforcement officer was about the outcome of the meeting.

Finally, the door opened and the men all filed back in. The judge slowly took his seat and seemingly inhaled some deep breaths, before looking out into the courtroom. He seemed to eye several people before reluctantly beginning to speak.

"In light of recent evidence brought to my attention, I have no choice but to dismiss all charges filed against the defendant, Mr. James Curran. I order his immediate release. This court is adjourned."

As the gavel slammed, Charlie let out what sounded something like a strangled growl as she tried to process what just happened. Ed immediately stood up, ready to head for Barba, but his daughter's grip on his jacket stopped him momentarily.

"Daddy, what just happened," she asked, her voice hoarse and the tears getting ready to spill down her cheeks. Ed eyed Olivia, who had her eyes on the two men in suits who were now standing in from of the defendant.

"James Curran," the larger man said in a low, booming voice. "Agent Cochran of the FBI. You are under arrest for rape, aggravated sexual assault, and attempted murder…"

As the agent read off the list of charges, followed by the man's rights, Charlie's head began to spin.

"What is happening?" she asked, to no one in particular.

As the defendant was lead out of the courtroom in cuffs, Ed once again turned to look at Olivia who seemed to be deep in thought. Her brow was wrinkled in confusion, as she was trying to process what just happened.

"Talk to me, dammit," Charlie finally said, getting the attention of both of her parents, who helped her up. Olivia gathered their purses and Ed held Charlie's waist, as they began to leave the courtroom.

"Tell ya what," Ed said. "You two go get situated in the car so Charlie is away from the crowd, and I'll track down Barba…"

Olivia, however, had her feet firmly planted as she gave her husband a narrow eyed glare. She wasn't moving.

"No," she said. "I wanna hear this. Barba has some explaining to do…"

"What's he gonna explain?" Charlie said, her voice bitter and full of exhaustion. "That justice is a myth?"

As husband and wife shared a concerned look, Olivia fought an inner battle with herself. She desperately wanted to confront Barba with Ed, and figure out why the hell they released a murderer for lesser charges to the FBI. She had a few hunches, but all of them felt so far out of reach and unrealistic, that she was refusing to let them sink in until she spoke with Rafael herself.

Then there was Charlie. The girl was clearly upset and though Olivia wanted to confront Barba, she also needed to be there for her daughter. Going back to all those years ago, when she longed for that family and vowed that work would never take priority, she reluctantly sighed and nodded at Ed.

"Okay," she said. "Go ahead. We'll be in the car…"

* * *

"What the hell was that, Counselor?" Ed said, barging into Barba's office without so much as a courtesy knock.

Barba, likely expecting him, didn't even flinch from where he was perched on the edge of his desk talking to a few other gentlemen. As they turned around, Ed did a double take.

"Agent Fuller," he said, recognizing the man who was high up the FBI food chain now, after he brought down the rapist ring Charlie was involved in.

"Captain Tucker," he said, reaching out to shake his hand. "This is Agent Duffy and Agent Miller."

"Not trying to be rude here, but I don't care much about introductions," Ed said, nodding at the men. "I wanna know what the hell just happened in that courtroom."

The four men looked at each other, not answering Ed and just making him more frustrated.

"Stop with the goddamn looks," he growled. "My adorable, fun-loving granddaughter is at home without a father and I wanna know why his killer was just released and given lesser charges."

"Look, Tucker," Barba began. "It's not that simple…"

"Oh, I think it's very simple," Ed said, puffing his chest out. "Was this too hard of a case? Decided to turn it over, so you didn't have to tarnish your record?"

"Hey," Barba said, his eyes narrowing as he glared harshly at the retired Captain. "I get you are upset, but watch your tongue."

"Tell. Me. What. Happened." He said, his tone low and menacing, almost giving the seasoned FBI agents chills. Finally, Agent Fuller let out a breath and instructed Miller and Duffy to leave them be for a bit. As the door latched closed behind them, Tucker, Barba, and Fuller all took a seat around the conference table.

"Listen, Ed," Agent Fuller began. "I will fill you in, because I know I can trust you. But I need you to understand that this information cannot, under any circumstance, leave this room. You cannot tell your wife. You cannot tell your daughter."

"Understood," Ed said, while secretly wondering if that was possible. But at this point, he would agree to just about anything in order to get to the bottom of this debacle.

"The more people that know the truth, the more danger you are all in…" Barba said, driving the point home. He knew Ed would have a hard time keeping this from Olivia, but maybe if he understood the risk and the danger, he would keep a lid on it.

"Wait a minute," he said, shaking his head a bit. "Is my family in some kind of danger, Agent?"

"Not exactly, or well, not at the moment," Fuller responded. "James Curran is involved in a high profile string of rapes and murders, all directly connected to one specific ring-leader that we have been after for some time…"

"Okay…so what, you let him slide on a murder charge so you can get his boss?"

"No," Barba said. "That's not what this is."

"Wait a minute," Ed said, his blue eyes widening in the realization of what was really going on. "You have to be fucking kidding me…"

* * *

"What is taking him so long," Olivia muttered to herself, as her and Charlie sat quietly in their SUV. The parking garage was relatively empty at this point, and Olivia was about to come unglued. Glancing back at her daughter, who was curled up against the back of the seat hugging her knees, she briefly thought about heading back into the courthouse to find Ed and Barba. Charlie would likely be fine here for a little bit. The girl hadn't said more than three words since they settled in, but as she looked at her face, she couldn't bring herself to leave her alone.

Turning back around and returning her eyes to the door as she waited for her husband, Olivia Benson-Tucker thought back to a time in which she would have refused to take a back seat in this situation. She would have shoved past Ed and barged in to Barba's office herself. In fact, thinking back on it, Olivia smiled to herself thinking about Barba's lack of surprise to any of her unannounced visits and assumed he had the same reaction to Ed a few minutes earlier. It had taken just about every ounce of self-control she had to walk away from that confrontation, and head to the parking garage with Charlie. In fact, she still was not sure it was the right decision.

Sighing a bit, she checked her phone and saw that Rollins had sent a photo of all three kids out cold on the couch at her apartment. Olivia stared at the photo for a bit, the look of peace on Noah's face and the total contentment on Lizzie's. As hard as it was to swallow at times, Olivia had a new priority in life. It was no longer the SVU Detective, though that instinct would never fully go away. But she was a mother. She was a grandmother. And sometimes that meant sitting in the car with her distraught daughter, while her husband aggravated the ADA on her behalf. Even after years of being a mother, and a few of being a wife, she still struggled with taking a back seat at times. Her instinct was always to search for answers, search for the truth. It was hard to relinquish that control, especially when it affected her family the way this case did. But she trusted Ed to get the information they needed, and so in that moment, she was content just sitting quietly in the car with Charlie. She wouldn't trade her role as a mother, as a wife, for anything in the world.

"Momma?" a quiet voice came from the back seat, causing Olivia to shift her body so she was facing Charlie.

"What is it, sweet girl," she asked, searching those blue eyes for any sign of emotion. But they seemed hollow.

"Dad's been up there a while," she noted. "That can't be good…"

"It could just mean Barba wasn't in his office," Olivia offered up, though she wasn't sure that was the case.

"Don't lie to me…" Charlie said, pointedly looking at her mother. "You are worried too."

"I am," she allowed. "But your Dad will get to the bottom of this, and hopefully we can go home and try to process whatever it is…"

Charlie let out a sigh, staring out the window as a tear made its way down her cheek. Reaching back to grasp her hand, Olivia squeezed it gently in support.

"I'm right here, Charlie," she said, just as the door to the parking garage flung open and Ed came towards the car. His face was red and his chest was puffed out, signaling he was incredibly worked up. He also wasn't alone. Trailing behind him were two FBI agents, one that Charlie recognized from her own case years ago.

"Ed, what the hell?" Olivia asked as she scrambled from the car and went to greet him. "What are they doing here?"

Ed looked into her eyes for a brief moment as he grasped her hands tightly in his own, almost like he was trying to ground himself in her love before delivering the information.

"Liv, Charlie, you know Agent Fuller," he said, his voice more distant that usual, only fueling Olivia's frustration level. "This is Agent Duffy. He's going to drive you both home, in my truck, and stay there until Agent Fuller can run me home."

"Ed…" Olivia said, a little speechless at the orders she was just given by her husband. Something was definitely wrong, and she was going to figure it out. "No. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on."

"Dammit, Olivia," Ed said, letting out a sigh and running his hand over his face. "Look, I just need you to trust me on this right now. I promise I will fill you in later, but we need you two outta here."

Charlie's entire body was shaking at this point, not sure what to make of any of this. From how upset her father was, to how indignant Olivia was at his tone. Nothing was making sense, but her mind was too fucked up to even question it.

"Fine," Olivia growled out, yanking her arm from Ed's grasp and getting back in the car without another word. Charlie looked at Ed for a bit, before following suit and shutting the back door of the black Honda Pilot.

"Don't you so much as get a slight ding in this car, or the cargo inside of it," Ed said, his teeth gritted as he handed over the keys.

"10-4, Captain Tucker."

As the two men stood and watched the SUV leave the garage, Ed turned to Agent fuller with a near death stare.

"I swear to God, Fuller, this better not completely wreck my family."

* * *

 ** _...Well?_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**#Tuckson**_

* * *

"Thanks, Amanda," Liv said into the phone. She was pacing the length of their living room, rubbing her forehead as she spoke to the younger detective. After arriving home, both her and Charlie realized they were in no condition to get bombarded with kids, so she called in a favor with Amanda, who was thrilled to have the kids for a sleepover. "I know, Noah really is good with the little ones isn't he….okay….I will let you know as soon as Ed decides to let me back in the loop….okay….yep, you got it. Thanks again, and kiss the babies for me."

As she hung up the phone, Olivia let out a sigh and stared out the window at the FBI agent that was perched on their front porch in a rocker. She had brought him coffee and offered for him to come in the house to warm up, but the officer refused stating that Captain Tucker gave him strict orders and that he was not going to cross him. Rolling her eyes at the memory, Olivia turned around to look at her daughter. Now 28, Charlie was still the spitting image of her father. Long, light brown locks rested against her shoulders and arms with just a slight wave to them. Deep, thoughtful blue eyes were creased with worry and her sturdy jaw was clinched, much like Ed's had been when they stormed into the parking garage. As angry as she was with her husband, she was more worried than anything. Ed never got like this. He was always completely open and honest in their relationship, so whatever happened up in Barba's office had him rattled enough to angrily send his wife and daughter back home without so much as a kiss goodbye.

Olivia thought back to the look in his eyes, almost a desperation for her to not ask questions and just get home. Of course, being who she was, Olivia was not one to stay in the back seat for more than a few moments. So the frustration she felt at being ordered to go home, without a reason why, was palpable. But now, looking at the shell of her daughter on the couch, she was glad that Ed had sent them back. Charlie needed a rock to lean on, and Olivia Tucker was determined to be that.

"You want coffee?" she asked softly, walking towards the kitchen to start brewing a pot. Charlie barely made a sound, but Olivia heard a faint "sure". After getting that set, she wandered back to the couch and sat next to the young girl, twisting her hair in her right hand.

"I've never seen Daddy like that," Charlie finally said, her voice raspy, yet soft. Much like Ed's, Olivia thought to herself. "That look on his face? The tone of his voice?"

"I know…"

"What do you think it is?" Charlie asked, looking to Liv for answers. She knew the seasoned detective had ideas as to what was going on, and to Charlie, her opinion was almost biblical. Olivia could do no wrong in her daughter's eyes. "And don't sugar coat it…"

The older Tucker girl just let out a little chuckle, before moving her hand from Charlie's hair to grasp her forearm.

"Sweet girl," she began, biting her bottom lip. The truth was she did have a strong inclination as to what was happening. She had seen it a few times before, but to put that idea in Charlie's head right now would just be cruel. So she lied. "I honestly have no idea," she whispered, looking into the troubled blue eyes that matched her husband's. "My best guess is that the FBI needs this man for a bigger bust."

"You're lying to me," Charlie whispered. She was no fool. "But, I don't have the energy to fight it now."

"Oh, baby…" Olivia said, her voice almost tearful at the way Charlie was reacting.

"It's fine, Momma," she said, but her voice was distant. This was anything but fine. "Let's just watch a movie 'til Dad decides to come home."

* * *

"Ed, I know this is hard," Agent Fuller said, once the men were back up in Barba's office behind closed doors. "But you understand that Olivia and Charlie cannot know yet. It's too risky."

"Charlie I get," he said, rubbing his mouth a bit. "But I can't keep this from my wife. She's a veteran officer. She knows the risks. We can trust her. I trust her."

"Ed…" Barba said, butting himself into the conversation. "We all trust her. It's not about that. It's about the danger behind them knowing. These men know Charlie was involved with Trevor. They know Lizzie is his daughter. We don't know who or what they are watching at this point."

"How long do I have to keep this to myself?" He finally asked, nothing but dread and worry in his voice.

"Shouldn't be more than a few weeks," Fuller said. "We are close to getting the ring leader. Once we do, it can all be out in the open. The danger, as we know it, will cease."

"But what damage will have been done in the meantime," Ed muttered, as the men all shared a look. It didn't matter how this all shook out; the end result may not be good.

* * *

The women were pretending to be engrossed in an episode of How I Met Your Mother, when the front door opened and Ed barreled inside the house. Shaking the snow off his boots, he toed them off and left them by the closet as he threw his jacket and scarf onto the entryway table. He'd pick it up later. Making a beeline for the kitchen, he rummaged around in the cabinets clearly in search of something.

Olivia and Charlie shared a look, before they both got up, went into the kitchen, and sat at the island bar stools to watch him. He was still breathing heavily, as if he were still worked up, and he finally grabbed a small glass from the dishwasher before reaching for the key to the liquor cabinet that was hidden on top of the refrigerator.

"Ed…" Olivia said, as she continued to observe her quiet, brooding husband open up the Banton's Single Barrel and pour generously into his glass. After downing about half of it, and letting out a loud exhale, he finally looked at his girls.

"I'm sorry…" he said, shaking his head and downing the rest of his drink.

"Well, good," Liv said, not willing to let this go. "You wanna talk to us now?"

Pouring another sip of bourbon, and swirling it around in the glass, Ed showed no sign of saying another word. It wasn't until Charlie slammed her fists down onto the counter, that Ed jumped and finally realized the turmoil that was invading his family.

"Fucking talk to us," Charlie said, her voice low and almost identical to her mother's when she would get that upset. Ed took a moment to revel in the fact that his daughter, though not biologically Olivia's, was essentially just like her in that moment. Despite the news he had heard earlier, there was a part of him that couldn't be happier. "Dad? Hello?" Charlie said, clearly not impressed with the silent treatment as she waved her hand in front of Ed's face.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he said, almost absent-mindedly, before clearing his throat. "Look, I can't say a lot right now. I honestly don't know much."

"Bullshit…" Olivia said, grasping Charlie's hand as it was still planted on the counter from her earlier outburst. "You owe us an explanation, Ed Tucker."

"I know," he said, his head down as he continued to take some deep breaths, before finally, for the first time since the courtroom, really looked into the eyes of his wife and daughter. And in those two pairs of eyes, he saw everything. His entire world. His reason for breathing. For waking up each day. Yes, Ed Tucker was putty in Charlotte Breanna Tucker's hands, almost as much as he was in Olivia Margaret Benson-Tucker's.

He stared a little longer, going from Olivia to Charlie, then back to Olivia before he made up his mind. In no way could he risk putting them in any more danger. He had to figure out a way to cover this up, at least for the moment. They could be mad at him forever if it meant keeping his family safe, so he would tell them a little bit and hopefully that would suffice at least for Charlie.

"Look," he began. "This James Curran was involved in a huge crime ring. And, the short of it, is that they need him to get to the leader of the pack. Barba had no choice. But he will be charged by the FBI, and rot in jail until he dies, so we just have to let that be enough."

Charlie let out a breath, as if she was believing him, but Olivia's eyebrow was raised as she glared a hole through Ed's skull.

"What aren't you telling us," she demanded.

"Liv…" Ed breathed out. "That's all I know."

As Charlie watched her parents glare at each other, her pain and frustration was too much to handle.

"You know what? Fine," she snapped, grabbing Ed's glass of bourbon and downing his drink, feeling the sting go down her throat. "Don't tell me. What do I care anymore, anyways…"

"Charlie," Olivia said, trying to grab her arm, but she was too late. The girl stormed off down the hallway, and slammed the door to her and Lizzie's wing of the house so hard the pictures shook on the wall.

"Fuck," Ed said, rubbing his eyes in frustration. Olivia eyed him for a bit, seeing the turmoil going through his mind. She was angry with him, but she also trusted him and if her hunch was right about what was really going on with this case, then despite her anger, she needed to wade carefully as she sought out more information. Sighing, Olivia gave him a soft smile and grabbed his hands, pulling them up to kiss at them. The gesture made Ed's heart melt, and the guilt pierced through him deeply.

"Tell me," she implored, her eyes softening in hopes that he would open up to her now that Charlie was not in the room.

"Baby…" he said, his blue eyes pleading with her. "Please…"

"You're really not going to tell me, are you?" She asked, her voice catching at the end as the hurt of that realization set in.

"Please, you hafta understand…" he said, his hands gripping hers tightly as he felt her slip away. But it wasn't enough.

"Just stop," she said, once again ripping her arms from his grasp and standing up to leave. This wasn't like Ed to keep things from her, and it hurt. She was desperately fighting against her anger at him, because deep down she knew this was likely killing him. They never kept secrets. So her decision for the moment was to walk away, go comfort her daughter, and let them all calm down a bit. "Come get me when you're ready to talk…"

Ed's eyes followed his wife as she walked away. Her slumped shoulders gave her more of a resigned look as she made her way to the door Charlie had slammed earlier, knocking lightly, then slipping in quickly. As they both disappeared from his sight, Ed poured his third glass of bourbon and walked over to the sliding glass doors that led to their back porch. He sipped the brown liquid, wondering if he was making the right decision here.

* * *

"I miss Trevor," Charlie said softly from her perch on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she held a photo album Tessa had put together for her. The cover was a picture she must have snuck in the hospital, as Lizzie rested on Trevor's chest with Charlie curled up with them. Trevor's eyes were open in the shot, and he was staring at his daughter.

She didn't often pull the album out; only when she was really missing him. But that was how she felt today. Between hearing the story of his murder over and over at the trial, the charges being dismissed, and now the sudden and scary secrecy of her father, she was desperate to have those strong, safe arms wrapped around her again. So for now, she settled for looking through the album while Olivia sat next to her.

"I know you do," she whispered. "I know you do…"

"I'm sorry," Charlie said, looking up at Olivia with tears in her blue eyes. But Olivia just shook her head, not understanding.

"For what, sweet girl?"

"For whatever it is Dad is keeping from you," she admitted. "It's my fault, I'm sure. He doesn't want me to know, and you are caught in the middle."

"No," Olivia said firmly. "Not your fault. Your Daddy…he is so fiercely protective of us. And while it's sweet and endearing, it can also be frustrating and infuriating. But I trust him," she said firmly, as if her mind was coming to terms with the secret as well. "I do. With everything in me. And if he says we can't know right now, then as hard as it is, we just gotta accept it."

"Momma," Charlie said, releasing the tears in torrents down her face and hugging the photo album to her chest. Olivia immediately pulled her into her chest, and leaned them back against the cushiony headboard of Charlie's queen sized bed.

"I'm right here, baby girl," she whispered as the heartbroken cries of her daughter filled her ears. "I'm right here…

* * *

As it was nearing midnight, Olivia tiptoed back into the bedroom she shared with her husband and quietly got ready for bed, opting for one of Ed's old t-shirts instead of her usual pajama sets. Pulling the covers back slightly, she slipped into their California king-sized bed next to Ed and turned so her back was to him, snuggling her cheek into her pillow and closing her tired brown eyes.

She had stayed with Charlie until she had fallen into a fitful sleep. Convinced she wouldn't wake up for a while, Olivia was wanting to just be near Ed, even if they weren't talking. Her mind was racing with thoughts of what could be going on, and she was pretty sure she knew what it was. It just had to be, as unbelievable as it was, and that thought made her desire to be next to her husband even greater than normal.

Ed must not have been sleeping, because he immediately scooted himself to where he was spooning her. He slowly brushed her hair away from her ear, and kissed at it a bit before whispering to her.

"I love you, baby," he said. "So much this is killing me right now."

At his tone, Olivia turned around so they were nose to nose, and grabbed his hands. She held them tightly, between their bodies, and just searched his eyes wordlessly.

He was about to talk, and she knew it. She waited with her breath held before he said a phrase that would echo in her mind for the rest of her life.

"Trevor is alive."

* * *

 ** _Y'all better review..._**


	4. Chapter 4

**_This is likely the last update until the New Year, but I didn't want to leave you hanging with that last one all weekend. Also, if you are MarigoldMusings, do not read this at the gym._**

 ** _Happy New Year, Tuckson Gang._**

* * *

 **Previously:**

 _Ed must not have been sleeping, because he immediately scooted himself to where he was spooning her. He slowly pushed her hair away from her ear, and kissed at it a bit before whispering to her._

 _"I love you, baby," he said. "So much this is killing me right now."_

 _At his tone, Olivia turned around so they were nose to nose, and grabbed his hands. She held them tightly, between their bodies, and just searched his eyes wordlessly._

 _He was about to talk, and she knew it. She waited with her breath held before he said a phrase that would echo in her mind for the rest of her life._

 _"Trevor is alive."_

* * *

"What?" Olivia whispered, her eyes widening as she took in her husband's announcement.

"Trevor's alive," he repeated, his voice soft but steady, his eyes locked on hers as he continued to speak. "They stashed him in Witness Protection…"

"Oh my god…" she whispered, her brown eyes wide with shock as she slowly began to shake her head back and forth. "I knew it…as soon as those Agents confronted Barba, I knew it…" she said, looking down briefly, before sitting up and staring down at her husband, who was still looking at her intently. "I cannot believe you were going to keep this from me?"

"Liv…"

"No, Ed, don't give me the excuses," she said, throwing the covers off of her legs and standing up, hands on her hips, as she glared at her husband. He almost looked sheepish from where he was still propped on her pillow with pleading, blue eyes. "This is…this is huge. Were you really going to keep it a secret from me? I'm your wife, goddammit!"

"Well, obviously not since I lasted all of five hours before I caved and told you," he said, his tone equally frustrated, but his lips curled into a the tiniest of smirks. Ed was clearly trying to get himself out of hot water with his wife, but judging from her face, he was failing miserably. She was fuming, or was she? He squinted his eyes a bit, trying to get a read on his wife's emotions. Her brown eyes were swirling with them, but he couldn't quite nail it down. Anger? Anguish? Confusion? Shock? All of the above was likely, he decided.

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair, then drug it down her face and played with her lips a bit as she let all of this sink in.

"I want to know everything," she said, her voice soft, almost distant, but firm. Ed reached his hand out to her, hoping she would come back into his embrace. Obviously needing his touch as much as he needed hers, she sunk back into the bed as they both propped themselves against the headboard. Laying her head on his shoulder and sighing at the feel of his fingers on her scalp, she implored him to continue.

"He's in Arizona," Ed began, figuring he should just rip the Band-Aid if he's already broken FBI orders. "Been there since they whisked him away from the hospital room."

"Was he really that badly hurt?" Olivia asked, shifting so she could grip Ed's shoulder a bit as she took in this news. It was surreal.

"He was," Ed confirmed. "I don't know many details about his actual injuries. I know he was really unconscious, and the FBI worked with the hospital to make it look like he had passed. Agent Fuller knew we were cops, and knew that we had seen this before, so it had to be fool proof."

"Well, it was," Olivia said, her voice raspy from trying to reign in her emotion. "We were all devastated. Oh god…Charlie…"

"Okay, Olivia," Ed said, squeezing her to him a bit. "Let's not go there yet."

"Right," she said, taking a deep breath. "Keep going…"

"As soon as we were out of the way, they moved him to a secure room until he was able to be transported to a hospital in Phoenix. They never said how long he was recovering, before he was given his new identification and residence."

"Wow…"

"I know," Ed said. "It's…a lot to take in…I'm still having trouble with it myself."

"Tessa?" Olivia asked suddenly, sitting up a bit and looking at Ed, keeping her hand in his. "Do you think she knew? She made the arrangements?"

"Ya know, I didn't think to ask," Ed admitted. "But they were pretty adamant that no one else knew…so I'm guessing that means she doesn't have a clue…"

"Just like our sweet girl…" Olivia whispered, her voice betraying the tears that were building. "She's still just heartbroken. And now this? How do we not tell her?"

"We can't…"

"I just held her, listening to her sobs, until she fell asleep with tears streaking her cheeks," Olivia said, her head shaking as she grappled with their new reality. "Ed…"

"I know," he said, not sure what to do about this himself.

"I can't do this to her…"

"I know…"

"What are we gonna do?" she finally asked him, her fingers playing with his as they sat with each other and tried to make sense of everything going on.

Ed was quiet for a while, running his fingers along her arms and shoulders before taking a deep breath and cupping her face. He searching her eyes with his before leaning up and kissing her gently.

"I'm not sure yet," he admitted against her lips, before nibbling on her bottom one a bit. "But we will figure it out together…"

The tears finally began to fall down Olivia's face as Ed gently swiped them away and kissed her deeply. Grasping his forearms as he held her head in place, Olivia kissed him back with a desperation that took Ed's breath away. As he pulled back for air, he saw his wife's heaving chest, puffy lips, and emotion-filled brown eyes.

"I need you," she choked out. "I need you…take me away from here…just for now…."

"Oh, baby," he growled, pulling her back to him and flipping her onto her back in one, smooth motion. He stared down at her, his hand traveling from her hair, down the side of her neck, over her breast and then to the hem of his t-shirt. "I love you…. I'm right here…"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Olivia Benson-Tucker was writhing under her husband as he continued his torturous foreplay with her body. They both had long ago lost their sleep-wear and Olivia was grasping at the bed sheets as Ed's tongue slowly swirled around her center creating a deliciously slow burn up her core.

"Ed…" she whispered, one hand letting go of the sheets and moving to grab his shortly cropped gray hair. He continued to lap at her, but his eyes shot up to her face. As soon brown met blue, she knew she was in for it and her heart rate picked up. "Please…" she whimpered, as he smirked and used his fingers to open her thighs up a bit more.

"You asked for it…" he said, taking a quick break, before diving back in and sucking at her clit hard. His fingers pried at her opening before twisting their way in and slowly pumping in and out of her.

Olivia's whimpers drove him insane, but he refused to stop. She wanted to forget, and he was going to fulfill that wish.

"Oh god," she moaned, throwing her head back and biting her bottom lip. "Yes, baby, just like that…"

Ed couldn't answer, because his mouth was otherwise occupied, but he heard every moan, whimper, gasp, and plea that his wife was making and he was determined to give her everything he had that night. Pumping his fingers in and out of her harder, he worked to add a fourth as his tongue flicked over her clit a bit more.

He grinned as she let out a shriek he had never heard from her, and her hips bucked up to meet his now four fingered thrusts.

"Ed…oh my god…." She moaned, louder than usual, but he just let it go. Noah wasn't home and Charlie was far enough away on the other end of the house. He wanted to hear her scream. Finally, wanting her to come before he continued, he sucked as hard as he could and moved his fingers to hit that delicious spot inside of her as she shrieked and squirmed, before tensing up and exploding around him.

"Oh…OH GOD…" Her voice was deep and guttural, as she grunted through the intense release he just gave her.

Ed licked a little, trying to clean her up a bit, before trailing his tongue back up her belly and to her breasts. Paying close attention to each one, he licked, suckled, and bit at each one, eliciting more squeaks from his wife…before trailing his tongue up her throat and to her lips, tracing each one.

"How ya doing?" He asked, a smirk donning his face and his blue eyes light with a teasing tone.

"I…" she began, before letting out a breath and laughing a bit. She was speechless, and he was proud.

"Great," he said, before his eyes darkened and he settled himself at her entrance. "But I'm not done yet…"

He fully sheathed himself inside of her, bottoming out as the smack of their pelvises hitting each other echoed throughout the room.

"FUCK," she yelled out, her eyes wide and her mouth in an "O" shape. "Ed…baby…"

"Yeah?" He asked, kissing gently at her neck and not moving inside of her yet. "Forgetting yet?"

"More…" she groaned out, wiggling her hips to get him to move.

"More?" He asked, raising his eyebrow at her and she grinned.

"I want everything…give me everything…"

"Whatever you say, baby," he said, before grabbing her hands and pinning them above her head. "I love you," he said, as he pulled himself out and slammed back into her, causing her to yelp and then smile a satisfied smile at her husband, as he pummeled her.

"I….love….you…..too…." she grunted out, only getting one word out between each hard thrust he gave her. "Don't….stop…."

"Never will."

* * *

The next morning, Charlie found Olivia pouring herself a cup of coffee as the sun was beginning to come up. She came up behind her Momma and hugged her waist, settled her head on the back of her shoulder and snuggling a bit.

"Why are you up so early?" She asked, figuring Olivia likely slept better than she did. Olivia turned around, kissed her cheek, and gave her a soft smile.

"Your dad is snoring," she teased. "Hard to sleep with that racket."

Charlie just laughed and moved to get her own mug from the cabinet.

"He's so loud…"

"Right?" Olivia said, moving to sit at the island, but Charlie noticed her limping a bit.

"Ma, you okay?" she asked, concerned at the way Olivia was moving, but then she noticed her blush a bit and gave her a big grin. "Oh…no wonder dad is sleeping so soundly…" she said, a teasing tone to her voice and Olivia ducked her head, pushing her hair behind her ear. "That good, huh?"

"I don't even know what to say…" Olivia said, looking up at her daughter and seeing that she seemed to be okay with the subject. "But yeah, he exhausted himself…"

Charlie just cracked up and went to sit across from her mom as they shared their morning coffee, watching the sun peak out over the fence in the backyard. A comfortable silence fell over the two women, as they shared the morning paper and occasionally looked out the window. That was, until Charlie saw the headline about the murder trial, and slammed the paper down.

"It never ends, does it?" She asked, shaking her head and taking another sip of her drink. "It's always something. Can't catch a break…"

Olivia, feeling a little uncomfortable given what she knew now, just continued to drink her coffee.

"What is it, Ma?" Charlie asked, eyeing her a bit.

"Nothing, sweet girl," she responded, reaching out to pat her hand. "Just thinking how much of a mess this is…"

"Dad told you, didn't he," Charlie stated, not angry but not necessarily surprised either.

Olivia just let out a sigh, setting her mug down, and gripped both of Charlie's hands.

"Baby…" she began, but Charlie shook her head.

"No, it's okay," she said. "Last night, as you sat with me for hours…listening to me cry and whine, I realized something…"

"What was that?"

"I just need to trust you and Dad," Charlie said, with a firmness to her voice. "Whatever this is, if I really needed to know, you would tell me. So I'm just going to let it go for now. Because I trust you, Momma."

Olivia's heart snapped into a billion pieces right then. She watched as Charlie smiled softly at her, trusting her to keep her safe and in the loop if she needed to, and she was now harboring a life-altering secret.

Her daughter had been through so much – more than any human should – and this was just one more devastating blow. Sure, Trevor being alive was good news, but once she learned that he was kept from her and from Lizzie for two full years, all hell would break loose.

How could she betray her trust like this? How could she not tell her baby girl what was going on? Hadn't she had enough people betray her? And now, Ed and Olivia were essentially doing the same thing, though it was for the safety of their family. She just worried that once the news broke, Charlie would never forgive them.

"What is it?" Charlie asked, her brows furrowing a bit as she watched emotions swirl in her Mom's brown eyes. Olivia snapped herself out of it, before smiling and patting Charlie's hand.

"Nothing, baby," she said. "I just love you…more than anything. And I want you to know that it's going to be okay."

"I know," Charlie said with a small smile. "I love you too. And I trust you."

* * *

 _ **Well? I know there are a lot of unanswered questions. They will be revealed in time...but in the meantime, leave me those reviews and I'll keep writing.**_

 ** _#Tuckson #TrevlieReturns?_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Happy 2017! Let's start off with a bang, shall we?**_

 _ **#Tuckson**_

* * *

"Noah, go long!" Charlie yelled, as the six year old took off across the backyard, hopping over the tiny piles of leftover snow in the uncharacteristically warm weather, before turning around and holding his hands out as if he were ready to catch. Charlie released the bright green nerf football and Noah's eyes widened as he concentrated. As soon as the ball landed in his little hands, Lizzie burst into cheers from where she was digging in her sandbox nearby.

"Unc! Yay Unc!" she hollered, her hands clapping wildly, slinging sand everywhere, and her body bouncing up and down in celebration.

Noah took off towards the large, white fence and once he got there, slammed the nerf ball down and did a ridiculous little dance in celebration.

"I win! I win!" He yelled, shaking his little hips and pumping his fists into the air. Charlie jogged over to him, lifting him up and tickling him while egging on his little celebration.

"Noah Tucker! The all-time greatest football player in Sag Harbor!" she said, flying him around a bit, eliciting even more giggles and laughter. Even at six and a half, Noah was small for his age, making it easy for Charlie to still toss him around like she did when he was younger, and the boy just ate it up. Nothing would ever top "Tar-lie Time" in his mind, even as he got older.

As they continued their celebration, Olivia looked on from where she was sipping coffee at the breakfast bar, just inside of the large, sliding glass door. Donning leggings and an oversized cream sweater, she had swept her dark locks back into a messy bun, a few curly strands hanging down around her face. It had been a week, seven long days, since Ed had informed her that Trevor was alive, and the guilt was eating her alive. She took a small sip of her perfectly prepared coffee, and allowed herself to smile a bit at the scene in her backyard as Ed sauntered in, freshly showered in jeans and a tight, navy t-shirt, and joined her at the table with his own black cup of joe.

"They havin' fun?" He asked, though already knowing the answer, as he took a swig of the coffee and wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders.

"Yeah," she said softly, finally peeling her eyes away from the backyard and landing them on her ruggedly handsome husband. "They are," she said, causing Ed to release a sigh at the swirling emotion in her eyes.

"Liv…" he began, rubbing her shoulder a bit. "You're making yourself sick over this…"

"Aren't you?" She put back at him, her face firm, despite the worry she felt. "You've spent more time in the basement, hitting that punching bag, over the last few days than you have since we moved in."

Ed just rubbed his face before sipping his coffee again, still squeezing his wife's shoulder.

"I just want this to be over…" he said, his jaw set firmly and his eyes on the backyard. Charlie was perched on the ladder to the wooden play set, as Noah hopped into the sandbox to assist Lizzie in her creation.

"She's so happy right now," Olivia murmured, her fingers going to play with her necklace, her eyes never straying from her daughter. "She's so happy, and when she finds out we hid this from her…she will never forgive us," Olivia said, her voice cracking at the end as she stifled the sobs building up in her chest.

"Hey, hey, hey," Ed said, scooting his chair over so his thigh was touching hers, as he pulled her to him and kissed her head. "Baby…" he sighed, before going back to the mantra he had been saying all week. "She may be mad at first, but eventually she is going to understand that this was life and death. We just have to weather this one last storm, but she will forgive us. I know she will."

Olivia just shook her head; though her cries had been stifled, she was still a nervous wreck. Finally turning to look at her husband, her eyes narrowed a bit as she delivered her next line.

"What if this were us?" she asked, her eyebrow raised. "What if you had been living for two years, thinking I was dead, only to find out that the two people you trust most in the world kept you from me? Would you forgive them?"

Ed's grip on his wife tightened at the mere thought of her being kept from him, in any form or fashion. His hand, previously on his coffee cup, reached out to grasp at her fingers given the fact that he was rattled just from the question. Taking a deep breath, he delivered the most honest answer he could come up with.

"It's not the same thing, Olivia," he said, his blue eyes looking into her brown ones as he leaned into her, touching his forehead to hers. "I'd probably never forgive them, if I even let them live. But it's not the same thing."

"How is it different?"

"Because there isn't anyone in this world that loves another person as much as I love you."

* * *

"Daddy?" Noah asked, climbing up onto the couch next to Ed as he flipped through the day's sports options.

"Yeah, bud?" Ed responded, muting the television and turning his entire attention to his son.

"Ethan is playing outside and wants me to come over," Noah said. "That okay?"

"Sure," Ed said, patting the boy on the head. "Let me just call Ethan's dad okay?"

"Okay!" Noah said happily, as he ran to his room. "I gonna get my nerf gun…"

Ed just chuckled a bit, as he punched in the number and waited for the other father to answer. He thought back to a time when Noah would never want to play anywhere other than at his house, with his family, and he smiled with pride. Their little boy had come so far; the whole family had really.

As he was snapped out of his trance by the answering of his call, he sent one more plea that his family would survive this latest trial, before arranging for his son to have a play date.

* * *

"Everything okay?" Charlie asked, as she wrangled a now clean Lizzie out of the bathroom, running into Olivia was seemed dazed as she swapped laundry around. "You look…pale?"

"Oh," Olivia responded, shaking her head a bit and smiling at her daughter and granddaughter. "I'm fine," she said. "Your dad's breakfast casserole upset my stomach a bit this morning…"

Charlie just rolled her eyes with a smile, letting Lizzie, still wrapped in her purple frog towel, down to head into her bedroom.

"Go find your clothes, baby, I'll be right there," Charlie said, watching her daughter toddle into the room before turning back to her mother. "Dad doesn't realize how heavy that thing is…"

"No, no he doesn't."

"But…you've been off for a while, you sure that's it?" Charlie asked, her head cocked to the side and her eyes showing disbelief. Olivia shrugged her off again. She wasn't about to let on that the guilt and worry was literally making her sick to her stomach. She had a knot of dread so large in her gut at this point, she could barely keep food down. But she threw on a smile and gave her daughter a reassurance glance.

"I'm sure," she said, leaning in to give Charlie a side hug and kiss her head. "I'm just fine, sweet girl…"

"Well, I don't believe you," Charlie said with a smirk. "But I'm letting it go for now, before my daughter pees on the floor…"

Olivia let out a hearty laugh at that point, her smile finally reaching her eyes as she watched her daughter go take care of her grand baby. Releasing a sigh, she turned the dryer on, turned off the lights, and headed back towards the kitchen where she found her husband leaning against the kitchen counter on his cell phone.

She sneakily came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, but his body tensed signaling this was not an ordinary phone call. Curious, Olivia released her husband, and leaned on the island as she listened to his side of the conversation.

"So what does this mean…"

"When…"

"Okay…"

"Keep me posted…"

"Thanks, you too Agent Fuller…"

Ed hit end call, dropping the cell onto the counter and dropping his head, as he hands went to grip the ledge. Olivia lightly rubbed his back, giving him time to process whatever he just heard, and waited patiently for the update. Finally, Ed took a deep breath and turned his head to look at her, though it was still down.

"They got him…" he breathed out, his blue eyes worked up in a way she couldn't remember them being.

"You mean…"

"Yeah."

"Wow…" Olivia breathed out, grabbing his now white knuckles and leading him to the kitchen island so they could sit. Her legs felt a little wobbly after that revelation. "What now?" she asked, not letting go of his hands.

"Where's Charlie?" Ed asked, doing a quick look around the house to see if there were listening ears.

"Just got Lizzie out of the bath, trying to get her to sleep," Olivia said, reassuring him. "It's just us. Talk to me."

"FBI brought in the ring leader," he said, his voice low and his eyes intense, but not leaving Olivia's. "They want to get him booked, and make sure the judge doesn't grant him bail, but once that happens…"

"Trevor's free to come home?" Olivia finished for him, her mouth in a slight smile at the thought, though her eyes betrayed the worry they both felt about Charlie's reaction.

"Yep," he said. "James Curran took the deal, so there won't be a trial for him. And Trevor isn't needed for this other one. Shouldn't be more than a week, but he still wants us to keep it to ourselves until they are sure that man isn't getting away…"

Olivia just let out a breath, rubbing her mouth a bit and shaking her head.

"Ed," she said, her brown eyes pleading. "I can't…I can't keep doing this. I need the go ahead to tell our sweet girl…"

"I know," he said.

"I think we can trust her," Olivia implored, hoping Ed felt the same way.

"I know we can," he responded. "It isn't about that. It never was. Just by _us_ knowing, our lives were in danger. And…I can't bare the thought of putting Charlie in that position…"

"I don't know how much longer I can hold out," Olivia said quietly, but honestly, hoping that Ed was going to come up with some magic solution to her misery.

"It's almost over, Liv," he said, his hands cupping her face as he spoke into her heart. "We are almost there. Then we can tell Charlie, and help her deal with whatever comes from this…"

"Tell me what?"

A voice startled the couple, to the point Ed almost tumbled off the barstool. Recovering and standing quickly, Ed plastered on a little grin to greet his daughter.

"Hey," he said. "Lizzie down for the count?"

"Yes," Charlie answered, her voice tense and short. "Tell me what?"

Olivia stood, giving Ed a look that had him in full understanding of her plan, then moving in front of Ed to grasp Charlie's hands and lead her into the living room so they could perch on the sectional. Ed followed quickly, pocketing his phone, and sat on next to Olivia, opposite from where Charlie was on the edge of the cushion.

"You're scaring me," she said, her hand grasping at Olivia's and her blue eyes going back and forth between her two parents.

Ed finally took a deep breath, one hand on Olivia's back for support, as he did exactly what he had been dreading for the last week.

"Charlie, we have some news," he said. "And it will be confusing at first, but I want you to hear me out okay?"

"Daddy?"

"Last week, at the trial…I approached Barba and the FBI about why they dropped those charges and why James was handed off to the Feds…"

"Right," Charlie said, trying to take some deep breaths, but failing. "I know they told you something…now tell me what it was, dammit."

Olivia bit her lip and held her breath, knowing her husband was about the rip this bandaid off.

"Charlie, Trevor is alive. He's been in Witness Protection, ever since James tried to kill him and Kasey. In Arizona."

Charlie's hand released Olivia's immediately, as her entire body tensed up and her face was frozen in confusion.

"Sweet girl, I know this is…hard…" Olivia began, trying to reach for her hand a bit but Charlie shrugged her off and scooted backwards on the sofa a bit.

"What?" she whispered, her eyes narrow and her head shaking back and forth.

"James was involved in a very high profile crime ring," Ed explained, assuming Charlie needed more of the story to let it sink in. "When he attacked Trevor, the FBI realized they needed James to get the leader. So once they were assured Trevor's injuries weren't life threatening, they apparently intervened."

"I…" Charlie said, her entire body beginning to shake in disbelief. "Why are you doing this to me? I held him as he died…this just, it doesn't make sense. Why would you tell me this? You're lying to me…"

"Charlie," Ed said, moving to kneel in front of her but not touching her, seeing as she was in a defensive position at this point. "I swear to you I'm not lying. I just found out last week, myself. Baby, Trevor is alive. He's in Arizona. And…they caught the ring leader just now, so hopefully he will be coming home to you soon."

Charlie just sat there, letting the news sink in, as her body continued to shake. She finally whipped her head to Olivia with a look of devastation.

"You knew, too?" she asked, her tone not accusatory, but also not understanding any of what they said just yet.

Olivia swallowed and nodded her head, her mouth suddenly dry with the fear of how this was going to shake down.

"You both knew," Charlie whispered, shaking her head as the tears began to fall. "He's alive?" she asked again, looking between them both for one more assurance that this wasn't some cruel joke.

Olivia took a gamble, reaching for her daughter, as she nodded her confirmation.

"He is," she said, trying to pull Charlie to her but the girl shoved her away. "He's just fine. He's safe, in a town just north of Phoenix…"

"You both knew…" she kept repeating, as if her mind couldn't quite process the news about Trevor, only that her parents had lied to her.

"Charlie, listen to me," Ed said, holding her hands tightly even though she was struggling to get him to release her. "You hafta understand…this was life or death. Just the fact that your mother and I knew, it was dangerous. I couldn't take that risk…I couldn't put you, or Lizzie, in any more danger…"

"I…" she said, finally losing the battle with her composure, as she flew off the couch and ripped her hands from Ed's. "I can't believe this…"

"Baby girl," Olivia said, suddenly worried and shooting up to try and talk to her daughter. As she reached for her, Charlie threw her hands up and backed towards the door.

"Don't touch me," she said, shaking her head as tears streamed down her face. "Don't come near me. Either of you."

"I know you're upset," Ed said, standing firm even though his insides were being ripped apart as he watched the utter devastation wash over his daughter. "But let's just go inside, fix a drink, and we can help you process this.."

"A drink?" she asked, almost laughing through her tears. "You think a drink is going to help right now? I don't…I can't even look at you right now…I don't….I don't understand…he's alive?"

Olivia, trying to fight her own tears, finally walked towards Charlie, hoping that she saw her defenses go down just a bit, and would allow her to hold her a bit.

"Charlie.." she said, reaching out for her, but once again, was pushed away.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Charlie growled. "I can't…I can't…oh my god…"

She turned quickly, grabbing her heeled boots from the entryway closet, and tossed them on.

"Where are you going?" Ed asked, following her quickly in fear that she was about to run. The last thing he needed was her this upset, and out on the streets, given the information she knew.

"Away from here…" she said, throwing on her crimson leather jacket and pulling her hair out from it. She looked around, almost frantically, before freezing. "Lizzie…"

"No," Ed said, putting his foot down. "I don't want you leaving this house, but if you do, you are not taking that little girl with you. You are too upset…"

Charlie just spun around and glared at him, anger oozing from her pores as she heard her own father deny her right to take her daughter away from them. Olivia stood, arms wrapped around herself and her breath held, watching father and daughter stare each other down, with the same intense blue eyes, in the foyer of their home.

"Fuck you…" Charlie growled out, eyes shooting daggers into Ed, who winced slightly at the phrase she muttered at him, but he knew she was upset. Confused. In fact, he was fairly certain she wasn't even processing the idea that Trevor was alive, and was more focused on her parents lying to her. It was as if that was the easiest of the two situations to focus on. And he understood that, so he let the comment go.

"Fine," Charlie said, after a few minutes of silent staring and stewing. "I'll be back for her later," she said, her voice quickly changing from anger to sadness, as she fought more tears.

Olivia, terrified of her daughter driving this upset, went towards her, grasping her arms as she fought with her.

"Charlie," she pleaded. "Please…just…you're too upset to go out right now. Just stay here. We will leave, if that's what you want. But…don't go, baby…please…don't go…."

Charlie just pulled herself from her mother's grasp, and looked at her with more hurt in her eyes than Olivia had ever seen. And it was a punch in the gut.

The young woman said nothing, just looked between her two parents before taking a deep breath, and turning to the door.

"I just…" she said, opening the door and pausing, shaking her head. "Don't wait up…"

The mirror that hung above the entryway table rattled a bit, as Charlie slammed the door behind her, leaving two shell-shocked parents. Ed rubbed his hands over his face and neck, in both frustration and pain, before looking over at wife; his heart breaking at the sight. She had her arms wrapped around herself and her body shook with silent sobs, as she just stared at the door willing her daughter to come back right then.

Making his way over to her, he wrapped an arm around her waist and brought them both back towards the living room before she collapsed.

"Okay, baby," he whispered. Though worried himself, he realized he needed to pull himself together for his family right then. "Okay. Let's just…let's regroup a bit, then we will go find her okay? She just needs to calm down…"

"I hope you're right…" Olivia whispered, as she curled into her husband's chest on the couch and tried to calm herself down. "I hope you're right…"

* * *

 ** _Up Next: Where does Charlie go? How do Ed and Olivia recover? Do we finally hear from Trevor? And is Noah the next, budding Wide Receiver?_**

 ** _Better review..._**


	6. Chapter 6

_**I know, I know. I made a big ole mess. It is what I do. But I'll fix it eventually...**_

 _ **#Tuckson #Endgame**_

* * *

Trevor Langan was wandering around his small, two-bedroom adobe flat and admiring the bare walls and un-decorated living spaces. He had been living here, in a neighborhood on the edge of a hill in Prescott Valley, AZ, for two years now, and he had yet to put up one painting or decoration.

He was miserable.

Ever since waking up in a strange hospital and being told that he was in Phoenix, and that his entire identity was different, it was as if he was trying to function while wading through a thick fog of depression. His mind was a never ending reel of images of Charlie, both real memories and fantasies of a future they were denied. Often, they would include Lizzie, to the extent that he could even picture her. He didn't remember being allowed to hold her before he "died" and was whisked away into Witness Protection, but his FBI contact had provided him with photo evidence. The contact also would occasionally break protocol, and sneak the man a photo of his daughter, just to keep him going. But it was still torture, and his heart ached to be able to see his daughter again.

But the tide was changing now. He had just hung up with Agent Fuller, who finally delivered the news he had been waiting for: the ring-leader was in custody, and once everything was secured, he would be free to go home to his family.

The only question still lingering in Trevor's mind at the moment, was what condition that family would be in by the time he returned.

* * *

"Can I buy you another?"

Charlie was sitting in the corner of a local East Hampton bar, nursing what she thought was her second Gin and Tonic, when a tall, blonde haired man approached her. He leaned against the bar, trying to get a good look at her face, before signaling for the bartender to deliver them another round.

"Ya okay?" He asked, a look a concern on his features.

"I'm fine," she answered curtly, not making eye contact and continuing to stir her almost empty drink with the tiny, black straw.

"Been watchin' ya for a bit now," the man said, clearly not taking a hint and giving up. "Not often I see that much emotion on a patron's face here in this pub."

Charlie finally looked up, her eyes were bloodshot from trying to hold in tears and she studied the man who was now seated on the stool next to her. His face was soft and kind, as if he were truly concerned about her state of mind.

Offering him a small smile, Charlie graciously accepted her complimentary drink and lifted the glass to clink with his.

"To drowning our emotions," he said, with a smirk, causing a chuckle from Charlie as she agreed and they both took a sip. Settling back in, shoulder to shoulder and facing straight ahead, the duo sat in a comfortable silence until Charlie decided to break the ice.

"Guess I need to work on my poker face?"

"Definitely," he responded. "I'm Adam…"

"Charlie. Nice to meet you," she said quietly, a small smile still on her face. "Thanks for the drink."

"You're welcome," Adam responded, eyeing her a bit. "Mind if I keep you company for a bit?"

"Sure."

"So…" Adam began, continuing to gaze at the woman next to him. "Tell me about yourself, Charlie."

* * *

"Then we play police," Noah continued to talk as Olivia got his pajamas out and picked up his dirty clothes from his playdate. She had just gotten him out of the bath, and was hoping to expedite his bedtime routine, but the little boy was extra talkative that night. "I the Captain, just like Daddy…Ethan the robber…and I gotted him with my nerf gun…"

"Good job, Noah bear," Olivia said with a little smile. "Did you tell Daddy you got him?"

"Yep," Noah nodded, pulling his shirt on over his head, then sitting on his bed and looked at his mom very seriously. "But it just a nerf gun, so it didn't hurt Ethan. Cuz Daddy say we can play police as long as we know it pretend and we don't use real things."

"Exactly," Olivia responded, going to sit next to him and run her fingers through his still-damp hair. "No real guns, or handcuffs, or hurting people…"

"Right."

"I love you, baby boy," Olivia said, just watching his little face as he climbed under the covers and pulled the blanket up to his chin. "You're my best boy…"

"Love you too, Mommy," he said with a grin that melted her heart. "You my best girl."

Olivia let out a chuckle and swallowed a quiet sob that threatened to come to the surface. As happy as she was that her family had expanded, and as much love as she had in her heart for all of them, Noah Porter Benson-Tucker would always be her first true love and her best boy.

"You get some sleep, okay?" she said, standing up and placing a long kiss on his forehead, before lifting her head and running her index finger down his little nose and across his cheek. "I love you so much, and I'll see you in the morning."

"See ya in da morning," he said, his eyes already closing as he turned over on his side and snuggled in. "Love you…"

Olivia stood in the doorway a bit, watching her son in complete peace as he drifted off to dreamland, before turning back down the hall and leaving the door open just a crack. Arriving back in the living room, she noticed Ed nursing what was likely his third glass of bourbon and looking out their large window. She slid her arms around his waist from behind, rubbing at his chest a bit and laying her head on his back between his shoulder blades.

Ed just grunted, placing his drink down on the side table before covering Olivia's hands with his own as he kept looking out into the darkness of the night.

"He asleep?"

"Out like a light," Olivia responded, kissing his shoulder blades through his t-shirt and hugging him a bit tighter. "Any word from our girl?"

"Nope," he responded. "I gave Rollins a head's up that she was upset and may show up. Said she'd let me know…but I haven't heard anything."

Olivia just let out a sigh, and closed her eyes in worry.

"I'm sure she's fine," she finally said, not fully convincing with her tone. Ed took a deep breath, his chest expanding under her hands, before turning around, letting her hands settle back on his chest, and wrapping his own arms around Olivia's waist.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" He asked, blue eyes sparkling as he looked down at her. Just by being in each other's arms, they were somehow able to take a few minutes and escape from the worry and pain of what was happening, and just be grateful for each other.

"I do," she replied, a soft smile gracing her face as her eyes widened and brightened. "Because I love you just as much, if not more…"

They stood like that, gazing at each other, for a few more minutes before Ed moved them to sit back down on the sectional. He left his bourbon on the side table, suddenly not needing it now that his wife was back within his line of sight.

"I just hope she didn't drive into the city that upset," he said, eyes looking straight ahead at the crackling fire and his fingers absentmindedly tracing little circles on Olivia's upper arm as she leaned against him.

"Me too…" she said. "But, even when she's upset, Charlie is a smart girl."

"She is."

"Ed…" Olivia began, rubbing his chest a bit and straining her neck to look up at him from where she was leaned against his side. "She didn't mean what she said…"

"I know," he replied, but the pain that shot through his eyes revealed otherwise. "She's upset. Confused. I'm not even sure she understood what we were telling her…"

"She didn't…" Olivia said. "Which is why she focused on her anger at us. The other was too much for her to understand…"

"I just hope she isn't alone, driving on the road or drunk in a bar, when that information finally sinks in." Ed retorted, shaking his head a bit and then leaning to place a kiss on Olivia's forehead. "She needs support. She needs us."

"She does," Olivia confirmed. "And she will realize that. Just give her time to cool down…"

"When did you become the calm one all of a sudden?" Ed asked, with a playful grin as his eyes roamed over his wife's face. She just gave him a soft smile.

"I'm…worried," she admitted softly. "But, I'm also glad the secret is out in the open…"

"I know you are. I'm sorry I had you keep that from her."

"No," Olivia said firmly, sitting up and holding Ed's face in her hands. "Don't you apologize for this. You did what you had to do. To protect Charlie. To protect us. I know that. And soon, Charlie will as well."

"I love you, Olivia," he said, his hands moving to grasp her forearms before leaning over to kiss her. Olivia let out a little moan, and tilted her head so that his tongue could plunge into her mouth.

The couple stayed like that, making out like teenagers on their plush, oversized couch, before Ed's phone went off and startled them out of their bliss.

"Hello?" he barked into the phone, and Olivia watched him as he listened to the voice on the other line. She was hoping it was Rollins, but from what she could tell it was a male voice. Ed's body stiffened a bit, before he responded back into the phone. "Thanks for calling, Joe…I'm on my way."

* * *

"And then…they _lied_ to me," Charlie finally said, her hands flying as she explained to Adam all the different people who had let her down in her life. She was coherent enough to not go into details, but intoxicated enough to slur her words and allow this strange man into her inner emotions.

Adam had sat there, patiently listening to the distraught young woman and made sure the bartender kept her drink full. At one point, he had moved his hand to wear it was on her lower back and that was when she allowed a few tears to escape as she continued on.

"It's like, everyone always leaves," she said, using a cocktail napkin to dab at her cheeks and smearing makeup. "In one way or another – they die, or walk out on their own, or just lie to me. I have nobody…I can't trust anybody…" Charlie choked out, as her shoulders began to shake with the sobs she was holding in. Adam, not worried about her making a scene at all, managed to scoot his barstool closer to her and continued to rub her back.

"You don't deserve that," he said, his voice low and sincere, causing Charlie to finally look up at him through watery eyes. "And, maybe I'm out of line here, but it sounds like your Dad really cares…just trying to look out for you, and it backfired?"

Charlie just shook her head, beginning to mumble just a bit.

"Maybe," she said softly. "I just want to be normal. I want to be a normal girl, in her twenties, focused on her career and trying to find a boyfriend that sticks. Not…raising a two-year-old alone, because the father of her child died trying to stop a rapist…and wondering about whether I should ever visit my birth mother in prison, because she tried to kill me…and then thinking about if my actual parents are lying to me…" the words just kept tumbling out of her mouth, as if she had been holding the damn of emotion back for too long.

"Hey, hey, hey," Adam soothed, pulling her to him and drying her eyes as he stared into them. "We all have our baggage. And sure, maybe some of us have more than others, but…you can leave that behind tonight…if you want?"

Charlie just stared at him, suddenly paralyzed in a nervous anticipation. Was he offering her an escape? A normal, one night stand that left her with a hangover but satisfied the next day? Was it even possible for her to have just one, normal night with another person? Her gut told her no, but the alcohol kept encouraging her to move closer to the man offering up a night of passion.

Adam, assuming her silence and slow movement towards him was a greenlight, he moved to cup her face and kiss her lips gently, but as soon as he made contact, she jumped back and threw her arms up to stop him from coming any closer.

"I can't…" she whispered, shaking her head as her fingers ran along her lips. Her body began to shake as she kept mumbling, "I can't do this…".

Working to gather her stuff, she stood on wobbly legs and managed to offer Adam a small smile.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You don't need to get tangled up with me…"

"Charlie, you shouldn't leave like this," he said. "Let me call you cab."

"I'll be fine," she said, placing a small kiss on his cheek before stumbling to the door. "Thanks for the drinks…"

As the bell rang, signaling she had left, the bartender came over and looked pointedly at Adam.

"I've got her dad on the way to pick her up," he said. "You got her drunk…you go make sure she doesn't get behind the wheel until the dad arrives…"

"You got it," Adam said, grabbing his cap and hurrying for the door hoping that he wasn't too late. As he got outside, he looked both directions before he saw the gorgeous brunette stumbling around the corner in search of her car. "Charlie!" he yelled, taking off in her direction and catching her just as she found her car and leaned against the car door.

"Adam?" she said, her eyes swirling as the alcohol caught up to her now that she was on her feet.

"Okay, babe," he said, moving slowly to wrap an arm around her waist so she was upright. "Let's just get you sitting down and wait for your ride, okay?"

"My ride?" she asked, confused but following Adam to the bench right outside of the bar. "I don't have a ride? I don't think? Did I call a cab? Where's my phone…"

Charlie fumbled in her stuff, presumably searching for her phone, before Adam stilled her movements by grabbing her hands.

"We called you a ride," he said, speaking slowly and looking into her confused and unfocused eyes. "So let's just sit here until he arrives, okay?"

"Are you going to take advantage of me?" she asked, her questions slurred and her filter gone. In her mind, any guy in this situation would be planning to take full advantage of it.

"No," Adam said, firmly, despite his own intoxication. "Charlie, not all men would do that. You've just had a bad run…I'm just here to make sure you stay safe…"

As Charlie continued to try and size the man up, a truck came into the parking lot at full speed, headlights shining on the couple on the bench.

Charlie flinched, and shielded her face from the brightness of the headlights as she shrunk back into Adam.

"Charlie?"

A frantic voice called for her, as the truck door opened and she saw a pair of booted feet headed her way.

"Dad?" She mumbled, unsure of how he found her but feeling total relief.

"Charlie," he breathed out, coming up to the couple and lifting her to her feet, before engulfing her into a hug. "Are you okay?"

He held her at an arm's length, inspecting her, before turning to Adam with narrowed eyes.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Daddy, it's fine," Charlie said, her words so slurred and jumbled that Ed could barely make out what she meant.

"I'm Adam," the young man said, nodding towards Charlie. "I was just waitin' with her until you got here…Joe's orders…"

Ed just stared at him a bit longer, before nodding and mumbling his thanks as he guided his daughter towards his Ford 150.

"Daddy…" Charlie mumbled, still not coherent enough to walk on her own or form sentences.

"It's okay, sweetheart," he said to her, keeping a tight grip on her waist. "I've gotcha. It's gonna be okay."

* * *

 ** _Reviews matter, so please if you are loving this story, or have thoughts and questions, take the time to let me know! It's the best motivation a writer can get._**


	7. Chapter 7

_**#Tuckson**_

* * *

Ed drove silently along the East Hampton-Sag Harbor Turnpike, making his way home with an incredibly drunk and distraught daughter. She hadn't said much to him once she was settled in the cab of the truck and Ed, though desperate to try and reach his daughter, was at a loss for words. He'd already pulled over once, allowing her to puke on the side of the road, but he still wasn't sure what to say and she clearly didn't want him to touch her. So he just silently drove, keeping one eye on the road and one eye on Charlie, as she leaned her head on the window and closed her eyes.

Finally, she took as deep of a breath as she could and attempted an apology.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, almost too soft for Ed to hear. But he did.

"Sweetheart…" he began, but she interrupted him.

"No," she said. "I'm just…I'm so…fucked up, but I'm sorry you hadta come get me…."

"Hey," Ed said, as he came to a stop at the lone red light along the road, and turned so he was looking at his daughter. She had tears still streaming down her face, black mascara streaks lined her cheeks. Her eyes were swollen and puffy and her skin was marred with red splotches, likely from both the alcohol and the crying she had done. "I will always come get you. I will always come for you. Doesn't matter why, when, how…you're my daughter. And you can always, _always_ count on me."

Charlie just looked at him, her eyes tearing up again as she swallowed hard and allowed the large drops of emotion to continue tumbling down her cheeks.

Ed reached out in time to catch a few of them, and cup her face briefly with the rugged, yet safe hands of a father, but then the light turned green forcing him to let go and concentrate on getting them home. Clearing his throat, he made one last effort to reassure her, as the truck rolled along the turnpike, inching them closer to their safe haven.

"It's gonna be okay, Charlie," but his words were met with a resistance, as the tears just kept pouring from his daughter and she shook her head vehemently, before stopping and grasping it, likely realizing moving any part of her body that rapidly was a bad idea.

"It's not," she mumbled. "It's just…not…."

* * *

The truck had no sooner been placed in park, when Olivia appeared at the front door, pulling her lavender, plush robe around her body and hurrying down the steps and to the passenger door.

"Baby girl," she muttered, as Charlie stumbled out of the trunk, almost falling over but managing to hang onto the car door. "Okay…it's okay…"

"Stop saying that," Charlie muttered, as Olivia held onto her arm to keep her from tripping, but as soon as they were in the house, she ripped her arm away from her mother and made a beeline for the bathroom.

Helplessly turning to look at Ed, Olivia's face was that of pure devastation. It was as if she could feel Charlie's pain deep into her soul, and Ed knew that. So he tried to give her a reassuring look and went to wrap his arms around her briefly, kissing the top of her head.

"Is she okay?" Olivia managed to ask, her voice soft and full of worry, but no sooner had the words left her mouth and she was almost laughing at her own question. "Well, of course she isn't okay…but…well, you know what I mean."

"I do," Ed said slowly, refusing to release his grip on his wife. He needed her touch in that moment; he needed to feel grounded. "She's…gonna have a helluva hangover. But Joe kept an eye out on her, so…other than that, she will be okay."

"Physically…" Olivia muttered, snuggling further into Ed's chest and letting out a shuddering breath. "Oh, Ed…"

"I know," he said, rubbing her back and keeping his lips in her hair. "I know…"

Just then, the pair heard a slight commotion from the bathroom, signaling Charlie was getting sick again, and Olivia immediately snapped into mother-mode.

"Grab me a tumbler of water," she said to Ed, as she re-tied her robe and headed for the bathroom. "Just leave it by the door…"

"You got it," Ed said, watching her hurry down the hall and around the corner. He sent a quick thanks to the sky for Olivia being in his life. If anyone could get through to Charlie right now, it was his wife.

* * *

"Charlie?" Olivia softly called out, as she knocked twice on the bathroom door before letting herself in. But the sight in front of her just shattered her heart. Charlie was leaning back against the wall, a cold rag covering her face, and her entire body shaking from sobs, and likely also being so sick from alcohol.

"Oh…baby girl…" she whispered, rushing over and dropping to her knees next to her daughter and hesitantly reaching her hands out to hold Charlie's elbows, but she was shrugged off. Defeated, Olivia sat back on her feet and just watched as the girl gave into the cries that had been threatening to overtake her ever since she stormed out of the house hours ago.

Not sure what to say, Olivia just sat there, insisting on being a quiet show of support while Charlie allowed herself to release whatever she was feeling in the form of tears.

"Knock, knock," Ed's soft voice came from the doorway, holding a large tumbler of water. "Here's some water…you two okay?" He asked, unsure if he should stick around or just leave them be. Olivia reached over to grab the water and gave him a soft smile.

"We're fine…" she said. "Thanks babe…"

"I'll be in the living room if you need me," he said, his blue eyes still eyeing his daughter, but his words directed at Olivia. Letting out a sigh, he turned and left the women alone again.

"Water?" Olivia offered, her voice no more than a whisper, causing Charlie to finally lift her head up for the first time in several minutes.

"Yeah…" she responded, her voice completely hoarse. "Thanks…"

She took the tumbler and drank slowly, managing to get about a third of it down, before stopping to take a break and some deep breaths.

Olivia watched, and reached out to stroke her cheek a bit, but Charlie flinched.

"Talk to me?" Olivia asked, almost pleading, as she felt so helpless in that moment, but her daughter just looked up at her with a hollowness in her eyes that she had never seen, even during the worst of her previous ordeals.

"And say what," she said, her voice not angry or sad. It really yielded no emotion what so ever. "I have no idea what to say to you right now…about any of this…"

"Please…" Olivia said, her panic escalating a bit that Charlie was slipping out of her grip right before her very eyes.

The girl shook her head, and went to stand up, steadying herself on the wall.

"I just…I need to sleep this off," she said quietly, slowly making her way out of the bathroom and to her room.

"Okay," Olivia said, nodded and fidgeting with her robe again, as she walked alongside of her and stood in her bedroom door for a bit, watching her collapse onto the bed, face down, and not even bother with the covers.

"Momma?" The muffled voice of her daughter came out, and just hearing that word was enough to give Olivia just a sliver of hope that their relationship wasn't irrecoverably damaged.

"Yes, sweet girl?"

"I…" she began, stopping herself from saying whatever was at the tip of her tongue, her body tensing up again. "Will you shut my door? I don't wanna wake up Lizzie…"

"Of course…" Olivia said, swallowing her own disappointment and went to grab the door handle, giving Charlie one last look for the night. "I love you, baby girl…I love you so much…and I'll be right out there if you need me…"

She waited, hoping for a reply, but finally clicked the door closed softly with no response from her daughter. Shoulders slumped, Olivia made her way back out into the living room and climbed onto the recliner with her husband, managing to curl into his side as much as she could.

"She asleep?" Ed grunted out, his eyes focused on the fire that was crackling in their fireplace.

"Almost," she responded, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could and nestling her head in the crook of his neck.

Ed, sensing his wife was more upset than he first realized, kissed at her forehead and ran his fingers up and down the arm that was splayed across his stomach.

"Ya think she told anyone at the bar about Trevor?" he asked, his voice almost monotone but Olivia could tell the question had been eating at him, so she just shook her head against him.

"No," she said firmly. "She may be drunk and upset, but she's a smart girl. She knows not to say anything…"

"I found her outside with some guy…" Ed continued. He was worked up. "So drunk she couldn't even walk herself to my truck. She was not in her right mind. How do we know she didn't say anything?"

"Ed, we have to trust her," Olivia said softly. "I know you're worried – but we have to trust her here. If you question her, on top of everything else, it will crush her."

"You think I can possibly hurt her more than I already have?"

"Oh…oh baby…." Olivia said, feeling the self-blame just radiating off of her husband. "You did not do this to her."

"I just want to keep my family safe," he said, his chest beginning to shake as built up cries bubbled to the surface.

"I know," she reassured him, her hand cupping his cheek as she picked her head up to look into his eyes. "And you do…and we are…"

"Liv…" he said, his blue eyes searching hers desperately for something neither one could identify. Finally, after a few minutes of silently look at each other, Olivia game him a soft smile and went to speak.

"Wanna take me to bed?"

"God…Liv…" he grunted out, his hands already running over her entire body and his mouth moving to devour hers. "I…I need you…"

"You have me," she moaned, as he nibbled at her earlobe. She stood, taking his hands, and backing them towards their bedroom. "I'm all yours."

* * *

Olivia puttered around the kitchen the next morning, putting together Noah's lunch for school, as he and Ed sat at the breakfast table and shared the morning paper. It was one of Noah's favorite morning traditions, and one that Ed cherished as well. They would sit side by side, Ed drinking his coffee and Noah drinking his orange juice out of a matching mug. Ed would read the front page headlines and sports section, while Noah would look at the cartoons and occasionally let out a giggle. Every now and then, the two boys would eye each other, nod, then go back to their respective articles.

That morning, Olivia was just reveling in the normalcy that their routine was bringing into their home. After a rough night, they all needed a little light-hearted, normal fun and Noah was providing that with his typical giggles and slurps from a mug that was almost too big for his little hands.

"Daddy, lookit this one," he said, putting his mug down and handing Ed the newspaper, pointing to whatever cartoon it was that had the boy in fits that morning. Ed looked at it, let out a hearty laugh, and patted Noah on the head.

"That's a good one, bud," he said. "Can you read those words under it?"

"Uh huh," he said, shaking his head. "Just da picture. Da cat funny!"

"Sure is, No," Ed said, a look of pride coming over him as he watched the little boy engross himself back in the paper and pick up his OJ to take another sip.

Just then, footsteps coming down the hall brought Ed out of his moment and he saw Lizzie toddling into the kitchen with her mother not too far behind. Both girls were already dressed, in matching leggings and blue sweaters, with shoes on. Charlie was toting was looking like an overnight tote and a full diaper bag and placed them by the couch before coming into the kitchen and grabbing a to-go coffee mug.

"Morning, sweetheart," Ed said, his eyes lifted in curiosity. "How ya feeling?"

"Surprisingly not awful," she responded with a small smirk, pouring a generous serving of caffeine into her mug and throwing the lid on.

"Going somewhere?" Olivia asked suddenly nervous about the answer, and moving towards Lizzie to lift her up and offer some morning cuddles, along with her milk in a spill-proof cup.

Charlie took a deep breath, along with a sizeable sip of coffee, before looking at both of her parents and answering.

"I'm going to take Lizzie into the city," she said. "Stay in the old apartment for a bit. Just to get some space. Clear my head…"

Ed's entire body stiffened and Olivia held Lizzie a bit tighter at the revelation, but Noah beat them both with his reply.

"You leavin'?" he asked, putting his cartoons down and looking at his older sister with sadness in his eyes.

"Just for a few days, pal," she said, offering him a smile and going over to kiss his head. "Just for a few days…"

"Charlie…" Ed said, wanting to object, but his daughter shook her head.

"I'm not changing my mind," she said, giving Noah one last big hug and kiss before scooping Lizzie up from Olivia, who had smothered her with hugs and kisses, and heading towards the door with the two bags now thrown over her shoulder.

"Charlie, please…" Olivia said, following after them and standing at the door, silently pleading for her to reconsider. But Charlie just have her a soft smile.

"We'll be fine," she said. "I'll Facetime you so Lizzie can say goodnight…"

And with that, Charlie was out the door and down the steps, leaving behind a confused Noah, a worried Ed, and a heartbroken Olivia.

* * *

 _ **Up Next: A time jump, Rollins intervenes, and a reunion gets closer...**_

 _ **#ReviewsMatter**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**I thought we could all use a pick me up, so hopefully this jam-packed chapter does just that. The family still has a lot to wade through, but, well, let's just get on with this update and we'll explore more of that later...**_

 _ **PS. This is not gym reading. You're welcome.**_

* * *

One week later found Charlie perched on the couch, her feet tucked under her, sipping on a strong tea and chatting with Amanda Rollins, as Noah, Jesse and Lizzie piled on one beanbag chair to watch Peter Pan. Missing her brother something fierce, Charlie had called and asked if he could come in and spend the weekend. Ed and Olivia, both delighted that their daughter was the one reaching out that time around, immediately agreed and packed the little boy's things before boarding the train at Southampton Station.

Now it was Saturday night and Charlie had invited Amanda and Jesse over for dinner and a movie. She loved watching how good Noah was with the younger girls, and they just loved their 'Unc'. In fact, Jesse, not quite old enough to understand family titles, decided to adopt the name 'Unc' for Noah, since that is what Lizzie called him, and the boy just ate it up. But more than that, Amanda had become a close friend and confidant for Charlie, especially during a time where she wasn't sure who she could trust. After checking with Ed and getting the go ahead, she shared with Rollins how Trevor was alive and in WP out in Arizona. Once the shock wore off, Amanda was able to provide some strong and valuable advice with the young woman and already had her feeling a bit more like she was on solid ground.

"Whatcha thinking 'bout?" Amanda asked, eyeing Charlie and startling her out of her thoughts as she watched the kids giggle and sing along to the movie.

"Just…everything…" she sighed out, place her mug on the coffee table and reaching for the blanket to wrap up. "I feel…awful…about what I said to my dad," she admitted softly. "But I'm just so angry. And confused."

"I get that," Amanda said slowly. "And, from how I know your dad, he can take the anger you throw at him."

"Yeah," she responded. "He can. But…I've been really distant from Liv recently too. And I can see the hurt in her eyes in a way I can't see it in my Dad's."

Amanda sat quietly for a minute, calculating her response as Charlie continued to sit in deep thought, obviously conflicted about her feelings at the moment.

"Ya know," Rollins began. "When I first met Liv, she was a lone wolf. Didn't trust anyone. Didn't like me at first, didn't want a new partner. But, over time…well, I've watched her change. A lot."

"Really?" Charlie said, suddenly intrigued by this narrative that Amanda was telling her. Sure, Olivia had been very open, but having someone else's perspective about her Momma's journey was fascinating.

"Yeah. It was like, all of a sudden, she snapped herself out of it. Maybe it was when our Captain retired. I dunno. But whatever it was, she finally seemed to figure out what she wanted out of life. Then the next thing we knew, Noah appeared. Then Ed. And then you."

"Wow…"

"Charlie, I don't want to make you feel even more guilty about this, but, I hafta say this just once," Rollins started, almost hesitantly, and looking over at the girl. But Charlie was completely tuned in, and seemed eager to hear her advice, so she continued. "Liv…your Momma…she's waited her whole life for this family. She has everything she has ever wanted, but she had to fight for it. And wait longer than a lot of people. So that pain you see? That's her doubting herself…kicking herself…blaming herself for possibly fucking that up."

Charlie's entire facial structure changed right then, at the realization of what her anger was doing to her Momma. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Ed Tucker could handle her anger. And so could Olivia, but it came at a price. And maybe that wasn't a price she was willing to charge them anymore.

"I've never known anyone that got whisked away into WP," she kept going. "Jesse's dad…he goes undercover a lot. We rarely see or hear from him. And it's hard. But I still can't imagine how you are feeling right now, with the news about Trevor. So all I can say is this…if there is anyone who can help you navigate your feelings, and how to let these new pieces of your life fit together, it's Olivia Benson-Tucker."

* * *

Meanwhile out in Sag Harbor, Ed and Olivia were enjoying a quiet evening to themselves that they rarely got. Ed had decided to completely spoil his wife that day, so they had gone to get a couple's massage, walked around the East Hampton shops, then made their way home so he could start dinner. Olivia, not complaining one bit, sat at the kitchen island and sipped on a glass of red while she watched her husband work his magic over a skillet of angel hair pasta and various other ingredients.

"Smells good," she commented, a small smirk on her face as she sipped the wine and kept her brown eyes locked on the man in front of her. He just turned his head slightly and gave her a grin. "Looks good too," she commented, her eyes roaming from his feet up to his head indicating she was not just talking about the food on the stove.

"Lieutenant," he said slyly, turning the heat down on the burner, covering the dish with a lid, and turning to fully face her. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were putting the moves on…"

"Maybe," she said, her eyes bright and her lips curled.

"Lemme hurry this dinner up then," Ed muttered, already feeling flushed and ready to take his wife to their bedroom.

Olivia let out a hearty laugh at the effect she still had on her husband after all of these years. Sipping more of her wine, she leaned back and just admired the view as Ed finished up dinner, dished out the plates, and finally joined her at the island.

"Eat fast, Benson," he said, somewhat jokingly, causing her to laugh again and slowly scrap the pasta off of her fork, making sure he saw her teeth and tongue. "Jesus Christ, woman, you are going to kill me…"

"But what a way to go…"

* * *

"Ed…" Olivia said softly, as her husband backed her towards their bedroom with his lips attached to her neck. He had barely let her finish her dinner, before pulling her out of her chair and into his body to devour her mouth.

"Dinner tastes better on you," he had said, before descending upon her again, his tongue ruthlessly plunging in and out of her mouth and his hands squeezing her behind, making sure she rubbed against him.

Not able to wait any longer, he began to walk her backwards towards their bedroom, still attached to her lips. Occasionally bumping into a piece of furniture or a wall, Olivia would chuckle a bit, but Ed was relentless in his kiss. His lips never left hers, until finally he pinned her against their closed bedroom door, not bothering to open it yet, and his mouth trailed down her cheek, jaw, and throat before attached to a little spot behind her ear and sucking.

"God…" she whispered, her nails scratching his head in encouragement, but Ed pulled himself away from her to look into her eyes, already darkened with desire.

"Why are you whispering," he asked, his mouth in full smirk.

"Habit, I guess," Olivia said, shrugging. But Ed just kept smirking at her, eliciting a slow burn in her lower extremities in anticipation of where this night was leading.

"We've got the whole house," he said, beginning to kiss at her neck again. "I could fuck you right here…" he said, pausing to nibble her earlobe. "Or out in the living room…" continuing his nibble up the shell of her ear, before position his mouth right over the entrance to her ear canal and delivering his final blow. "Or maybe…right inside our bathroom…bent over…so you can watch us…"

Olivia's legs about gave out from under her at that statement, combined with his hot breath in her ear. She let out a whimper, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him against her in order to gain a bit of control.

Licking her way from his collar bone, over his Adam's apple, along his jaw, and finally settling upon _his_ ear, she whispered low and sultry "What are you waiting for, Captain Tucker…"

Growling, Ed opened their bedroom door, shoving Olivia into it and peeling her clothes off along the way. He kept backing her up, working to get her pants off, before they finally made it to the bathroom, both stripped down to nothing but their underwear.

Ed turned her around, so she was facing the mirror and he was behind her, one hand woven in her hair so she was looking up into the mirror, and the other hand lightly caressing her stomach.

"Do you…have any idea…how beautiful you are?" Ed whispered to his wife, as his eyes met hers in the mirror and his one hand made its way slowly to her breasts. Feeling thankful she was in a front clasping bra, he made quick work of unhooking it and throwing it over his head, before settling his eyes back on hers and softly swirling his index finger around her left nipple.

"Ed…" she whimpered, essentially putty in his hands right then, but needing more.

Her husband, of course, obliged. Tugging her hair lightly, so her head stayed up and her eyes stayed on his in the mirror, his begin to pinch and pull at her left nipple…causing moans and whimpers to escape her mouth, before moving to her right one and giving it the same treatment.

Keeping his blue eyes on hers, he lowered his mouth and kissed along her shoulder blade, watching her reaction to his touch. The flickers of amber and darker browns flashing through her eyes, and the way her cheeks and chest became flushed with desire.

After feeling like she was sufficiently tortured, his hand moved down her stomach and dipped into her cream colored, lace panties. Ed let out a groan at how wet she was, and cupped her before settling his chin on her shoulder and looking at her. They stayed like that, his fingers lightly playing between her legs and staring into each other's eyes. Olivia took one hand and covered the forearm of Ed's that was splayed against her thighs, and her other hand reached back to stroke his cheek.

"You just gonna stand there and stare or…" she said, giving him a smirk and causing him to growl a bit.

"Never," he said, releasing her hair for a second while he worked to rid them both of their last offended garments, and pinning her back against the counter. His one hand reached around to tip her chip up and lightly cup her neck, while the other hand went back to playing between her legs. "You ready, baby?"

"For you?" She managed to squeak out. "Always."

Ed kissed all over her cheek, before lining himself up and slowly sheathing his member into her wet heat. He kept his eyes locked with hers in the mirror, watching her face contort as her body worked to accept all of him inside of her. Finally, bottoming out, he lovingly caressed her neck and chest, before beginning to move slow, but hard, in and out.

"Ungh," Olivia grunted, each time her husband hit into her. She tried not to let her head fall forward, but it was impossible as she was being taken in a way that had her weak in the knees.

Ed, refusing to let her slump down, reached back for her neck and pulled her upright, so her eyes stayed locked on his.

"Look at me," he whispered, before grunting as he bucked into her again and smirking as her eyes widened and she let out another squeal. "Look at me while I'm loving you…while I'm fucking you…"

"Ed…" she said, her hands beginning to claw at his arms in an attempt to get him to go harder, or anything to alleviate the tension rising in her body. "Ed please…"

"You wanna come?" he asked, biting at her ear and thrusting into her even harder, still holding her upright…one hand on her stomach and one still on her neck.

"Please…" she managed to whimper out, her legs beginning to give out and her body beginning to shake.

"Baby…" he said. "I love you…I love watching you…come for me…."

Ed moved his hand from her stomach to her clit and began to flick, as Olivia's entire body began to buck in his arms.

"Ed" she screamed, her hands grasping at him and her feet beginning to kick as her husband held her and fucked her, watching as her body flew into oblivion. "Oh…Oh….OH GAWWWWWWWD," she finally screamed, spasming in his arms, head flying back against his shoulder as he rode out her orgasm with her, his eyes still watching her in the mirror.

"Oh god," she panted, falling back against him, clearly spent, but knowing he was still hard as a rock inside of her.

"You're beautiful," he said, kissing along her neck and shoulders, calming her down and running his hands along her stomach and hips. "You're so goddamn beautiful…"

"I…" Olivia tried to speak, but she couldn't, and shook her head with a little laugh. "Wow…"

"There's more where that came from," he said with a smirk, catching her eye, before turning her around, picking her up bridal style, carrying her into the bedroom, and proceeding to make love to her, softly this time, well into the evening.

* * *

Back in Manhattan, music was blaring through the apartment while two adults, along with three children, were hopping and dancing around all over the place. Noah was bouncing on the couch, using a hair brush as a microphone, as Lizzie and Jesse jumped around playing with drums and tambourines. In fact, they were having so much fun, that Charlie almost didn't hear her cell phone ringing in the kitchen.

"Oh," she said breathlessly, running to pause the music. "That's my phone…hang on…"

Rollins moved to get the kids a drink, while Charlie took the call back in her bedroom. She emerged about five minutes later, her coloring gone and her eyes wide.

"What is it?" Amanda asked, alarmed at the sudden change in demeanor.

"That was Agent Fuller," she said, her voice raspy and hoarse. "Trevor's back. He's down at 1PP. Waiting for me."

Frozen, Amanda looked at her friend for a little bit, before breathing deeply and taking charge.

"Okay," she said. "Want me to call a sitter for the kids and I'll take you?"

"No," Charlie said, shaking her head and already making another phone call. "I want my parents…"

Amanda smiled, watching as Charlie made the call, already prepared to stay the night with the kids so Charlie could have this time.

* * *

Two hours later, Charlie was walking down the eerily white hallways of 1PP with Olivia holding her hand tightly and her father walking behind them. Once the couple had arrived at her apartment, the greeting was a bit awkward and tense as they bid their goodbyes to Amanda and the kids, making their way down to Ed's truck. He tried to make some small talk along the way, but neither woman was able to comprehend anything as they nervously got closer to the downtown office building. Finally, with about five minutes left in the ride, Charlie broke the ice.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, from where her head was leaning against the back window. "I'm so sorry for how I acted…and how I treated you. And…I know we have a lot to talk about, and we will…but right now, I just need you to help me do this…"

Olivia allowed a few tears to fall, before wiping them away and turning around in her seat so she could see her daughter, knowing Ed was focused on the craziness of Lower Manhattan traffic.

"No one blames you for how you reacted, sweet girl," she said. "It's all okay. And…we have plenty of time to talk more about it, okay? But…we are right here. With you. Every step of the way. You just hold onto us."

Now approaching the suite in which Agent Fuller had instructed them to go, Charlie froze, her entire body shaking, unable to go any further.

"He's in there," she whispered, really to no one, but Olivia heard her and moved to let go of her hand, wrapping her in a reassuring hug. Kissing at her head, she rocked her a bit and allowed her to gather some strength.

"You can do this," she whispered. "We are right here. Daddy and I are right here, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, before pulling back and looking back and forth between them. "Love you Momma...Love you Dad.."

"We love you too, Charlie," Ed choked out, feeling an odd sensation of emotion at this pending reunion. As if their presence was detected, the door opened and Agent Fuller moved aside to let them in.

"Charlie, Ed, Olivia, come on in. Someone's been waiting for you…"

Charlie had no sooner walked in the door, before she stopped abruptly and just stared, every emotion, good and bad, that one could possible imagine crashing down on top of her.

Trevor was standing in front of her, dressed in jeans and a gray, v-neck shirt. His face was scruffy, showing he hadn't shaved in a little while, and his eyes were tired and bloodshot. But as soon as they met hers, they widened and the blue began to sparkle again.

Neither one of them moved for a bit; the only sound you heard in the room was the sound of their breathing. That was, until Trevor moved slightly, his hands reaching out a bit, before he spoke and Charlie heard his voice for the first time in over two years.

"Charlotte," he said, and no sooner had her name left his mouth than she had taken off, running full speed across the room and leaping into his arms.

Catching her and holding her tightly, Trevor allowed a few tears to escape as he buried his face in Charlie's neck and listened to her sobs, holding on to each other for dear life.

"Trevor…" she whimpered, wrapping her arms and legs around him even tighter, never wanting to let go.

"It's me, baby," he said. "I'm home."

* * *

 ** _Now...I have delivered what you all wanted, so how about you leave some love in the reviews? Please and thank you._**

 ** _#Tuckson_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_#Tuckson_**

* * *

 _"Charlie, Ed, Olivia, come on in. Someone's been waiting for you…"_

 _Charlie had no sooner walked in the door, before she stopped abruptly and just stared, every emotion, good and bad, that one could possible imagine crashing down on top of her._

 _Trevor was standing in front of her, dressed in jeans and a gray, v-neck shirt. His face was scruffy, showing he hadn't shaved in a little while, and his eyes were tired and bloodshot. But as soon as they met hers, they widened and the blue began to sparkle again._

 _Neither one of them moved for a bit; the only sound you heard in the room was the sound of their breathing. That was, until Trevor moved slightly, his hands reaching out a bit, before he spoke and Charlie heard his voice for the first time in over two years._

 _"Charlotte," he said, and no sooner had her name left his mouth than she had taken off, running full speed across the room and leaping into his arms._

 _Catching her and holding her tightly, Trevor allowed a few tears to escape as he buried his face in Charlie's neck and listened to her sobs, holding on to each other for dear life._

 _"Trevor…" she whimpered, wrapping her arms and legs around him even tighter, never wanting to let go._

 _"It's me, baby," he said. "I'm home."_

* * *

Time was frozen. No one in that conference room dared to move as Trevor held Charlie to him. The only sounds they heard were the muffled sobs from a still confused and heartbroken young woman, who had her face buried in the neck of the man she loved.

Trevor's eyes were closed and his face was motionless other than a few lone tears that escaped down his cheeks. He had one arm firmly around her waist, supporting her weight, and the other was tangled in her hair as he buried his nose just above her ear and inhaled.

"Charlotte…" he whispered again, eliciting yet another sob from the woman in his arms, so he just tightened his grip. "I'm right here…"

After a few more minutes, Charlie reluctantly lifted her face from his neck and moved her hands so she was cupping his face. Her eyes moved rapidly, almost in a panicked way, across his features as her fingers stroked his cheek.

"I…" she said, swallowing more sobs and shaking her head, continuing her examination of the man who was literally holding her up right then. "You're here…you're alive?" Her head started shaking again and she was overcome with sobs, as she allowed her legs to unwrap from him and she slid to his feet, though staying firmly planted in his embrace.

"I am…" he said, rubbing her back gently with one hand and reaching the other to her face to dry her tears. "It's me. I'm right here…"

"Charlotte," Agent Fuller said, reminding the couple of his presence. "You have the FBI's sincerest apologies for the pain that the last two years has caused. We understand that this has been difficult.."

The man had no sooner gotten the word difficult out of his mouth, before Charlie whipped her head around and shot daggers at him with her icy blue eyes.

"Difficult?" she whispered, venom oozing from her entire being. "You understand that this has been _difficult_?"

"Ms. Tucker…"

"NO. Stop," she said, throwing her hand up and continuing her furious stare down of him and the other two agents in the room. "Difficult would have been you asking him to go undercover for a while. Difficult would have been having to watch him recover from being stabbed multiple times. Difficult would have been….well…. _ANYTHING_ other than what you did to me. To us."

Charlie took a deep breath and looked around the room, seeing her parents standing there, their own faces full of emotion. She saw Trevor, who still had tears in his eyes and his face looked worn and ragged, then she looked back to the three agents, who all stood there in an official way, seemingly unaffected by the havoc they had bestowed upon them.

"What you did to me…to Trevor…to our family…was nothing short of cruel. In fact, cruel isn't a strong enough word. You let me lay in his arms, with my hours old baby girl, and led me to believe that he had died. That my love…the father of my child…had died. For the next TWO YEARS, I struggled to be a single mom. I tried to figure out how the hell to explain to my daughter why her uncle had a Daddy, but she didn't."

"We understand that this is painful…"

"SHUT UP," she screamed, throwing her pointer finger at him as her body continued to shake as she finally lost her battle with her composure. Sobs ripping through her body, she continued to unleash her fury. "You lied to me…for two years…and then, all of a sudden, you decide to tell my father and have him keep it from me as well. The two people that I trust the MOST in this world, other than Trevor, who I still assumed was fucking dead….you made _them_ lie to me. Do you…have any idea…what you have done to me? To all of us?"

She gestured with her hands around the entire room, before reaching in her back pocket and pulling out her phone and shoving the screen savor photo in Agent Fuller's face. It was off a happy, bubbly Elizabeth Tucker.

"You see this face? This beautiful, innocent face? This face…that looks JUST LIKE her father? Do you see it?"

The agent swallowed hard, and nodded, figuring he was best to just go along with this in the moment.

"She's innocent. She does not know the evil…the pain…the hurt…that my entire family knows. Everything we have been through…she's innocent of all of that. _How dare_ you do this to her."

Eyes narrowing, Charlie took a deep breath and put the phone back in her pocket before seemingly, almost eerily, pulling herself together. She straightened up, threw her shoulders back so her posture was straight, and miraculously stopped the tears.

"I have no idea how I'm supposed to navigate this with my family," she said in a whisper. "But let me tell you this, Agent Fuller. I do NOT want your apology. In fact, I never EVER want to see you again."

Ed, at this point, decided it was time to intervene and stop his headstrong, furious daughter from saying anything else to three very powerful FBI agents.

"Charlie," he said softly, approaching her and rubbing her back a bit before kissing the side of her head. "Let's just all go back to the apartment okay?"

She shook her head, and looked up at Ed with his very eyes, and nodded.

"Okay," she said softly, before turning to Trevor and reaching for his hand. "Let's go…"

The reunited couple walked shakily out of the office, followed by Ed and Olivia. Ed kept his arm snuggly wrapped around her waist as they observed the awkward interaction of Trevor and Charlie.

"She's still in shock…" he whispered.

"We all are," Olivia said, looking up at him.

"It's gonna be a long few days."

* * *

Charlie unlocked the door to the apartment, instructing Trevor to stay outside just for a second so she could confirm the kids were asleep. The ride home was spent mostly quiet, but the one thing that was discussed was how they planned to explain this to the kids. Lizzie, still being so young, was not likely to need much explanation. She would just need the time and space to get to know Trevor. But Charlie was insistent that it be done in a way that was healthy for her, and Trevor understood completely. As much as he just wanted to run in and scoop his baby girl up, he knew deep down that would just scare her.

"She should be asleep," Charlie said as the drove up the West Side Highway, texting Rollins. "I'll make sure, then…you can go into her room and sit with her as long as you want…"

Trevor's face was one of pure relief and joy in that moment.

"But Noah…" she said, looking over to Olivia who was in the front seat of Ed's truck. "How do we do this with him?

Olivia took a deep breath, looking at Ed, before turning to the couple in the back.

"I'd prefer to be able to talk to him before he sees Trevor," she said, almost apologetically. But Trevor quickly agreed.

"Look," he said, moving his hand to grip Charlie, who was hesitant at first, but then squeezed back. "This…situation…is hard for all of us. And sure, I'd like to just get back to normal…but…that isn't reality. So, I'm fully on board with discussing how best to reintegrate all of us."

Now, standing in the hallway, it was clear to Olivia that Trevor was having a hard time containing himself. And how could she blame him. It had been two long, painful years, and all he wanted was to see his daughter.

"Hey," she said softly, reaching and patting him on the arm. "I know this is hard…but you're almost there…"

"I just wanna see my little girl," he whispered, the tears evident in his face.

Just then, the door opened and Charlie signaled for them to come in. Rollins, who was still in some shock about Trevor being alive, stood awkwardly and gave him a little wave.

"Hey there, Langan," she said.

"Rollins," he nodded, wiping his hands nervously on his jeans as he looked around the apartment that he had called home for several months before his "death".

"Come on, babe," Charlie said softly, taking his hand and leading him to the back of the apartment and away from the three veteran officers.

"I do not envy y'all right now…" Rollins said, watching the couple walk away.

"Gee, thanks Sarge," Ed said with a little smirk, easing the tension and causing the trio to laugh a bit before going back to an odd silence.

Finally, Olivia took a deep breath and made her way to the kitchen.

"I don't know about you two, but I'm gonna need an Irish coffee to get through this night. Any takers?" Ed and Amanda both smiled and nodded, moving to join her around the bar that separated the living room and the kitchen, and softly chatted amongst themselves as to not disturb the reunion in the bedroom.

* * *

Trevor was sitting with his legs crossed in front of him on the floor of the tiny bedroom, next to Lizzie's toddler bed. There was a railing up, so it was hard for him to really make contact, but he twisted himself to where he could place his hand on her head and see her face as she slept peacefully.

Charlie stood back near the door, watching the scene with tears flowing down her face. Lizzie was out cold, but as soon as Trevor's hand made contact with her forehead, she let out a soft sigh and turned towards him a bit, continuing her slumber. The move, though slight, was enough to send both parents into silent fits of tears.

Not allowing his tears to turn into sobs in case Lizzie were to wake up, Trevor stroked her dark curls and leaned down to kiss her face.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered. "I know you don't know who I am yet, but you will. I'm your Daddy. And I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you…but that's over now. I'm right here, sweetheart. And I'm gonna love you more than anyone has ever loved someone before. You and Mommy are my whole world…and I promise I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. Daddy's right here…"

Still in the doorway, Charlie smiled through her tears as she watched the scene. She still couldn't believe Trevor was here, alive, in the flesh, but he was. Realizing her daughter was not waking up, she moved over to Trevor and stroked his hair where he still sat.

"I'll give you a minute," she whispered, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "If she starts to stir, let me know."

"Charlie?" he whispered, grabbing her hand so she couldn't walk away just yet.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you…"

"For what?" she asked, her face confused but her hand gripping his even tighter.

"She's…perfect," he got out, despite the cries beginning to bubble up again. "Just…thank you…for our daughter…"

Charlie, not sure how to react, just gave him a smile and another kiss on the head, before turning and departing the room, leaving a father to reconnect with his little girl.

* * *

Walking back into the living room, she was met with her parents and no sign of Amanda.

"Where's Amanda?" she asked, helping herself to the fresh coffee but refraining from the Bailey's she noticed open on the counter.

"She grabbed Jesse and went home," Olivia said, making her way over to Charlie and fussing with her hair. "Wanted to give us all some time…"

"Makes sense," Charlie said, sipping her coffee and seemingly holding herself together pretty well. Ed eyed her, suspiciously, while Olivia enjoyed the fact that she wasn't pulling away.

"You doing okay?" she asked quietly, paying close attention to her face as she put the question out there.

Charlie took another sip, set the mug down, and turned around so she was facing her parents as they all stood in the kitchen.

"I…" she began, wrapping her arms around herself. "It doesn't feel real right now…"

"It will take a while, sweet girl," Olivia said softly, reaching out to rub her upper arms a bit and trying to make eye contact. "But we are right here, okay? You just…just tell us what you need from us."

Charlie looked at her mom as she bit her bottom lip, then glanced over to where Ed was standing and watching the scene. He had one hand on his coffee mug and the other was rubbing the counter as if he was nervous.

"I know," Charlie whispered, looking down at her feet and fidgeting a bit. "I'm not sure what is next?"

"You don't have to know," Ed said, placing his mug on the counter and moving to stand next to Charlie, pulling her into his side and kissing the side of her head. "None of us do. We just take it one minute at a time…one second at a time."

Allowing a few tears to escape, before quickly wiping them away and straightening up, Charlie looked at Ed.

"Are _we_ okay?" she asked.

"We are always okay," he assured her, as Charlie smiled in relief and Ed pulled his two girls in for a hug. "We are together…and we are okay. And we have all the time in the world to talk, okay?"

Just then, a throat cleared behind them, signaling Trevor had emerged from Lizzie's room and was now standing awkwardly, not quite sure what to do.

"Did she wake up?" Charlie asked, breaking away from her parents and walking towards Trevor. But he shook his head.

"No," he said. "My legs started cramping…not as young as I used to be." He joked and Charlie gave him a grin, before ribbing him.

"Better get back in shape, your daughter is fast on her feet," she said, joking a bit and causing Trevor to breathe out a sigh of relief.

"I can't wait," he said. "Where's Noah?"

"He's asleep in the bigger bedroom," Charlie said. "There's not enough room, much to his disappointment, for him to sleep in the little room that Lizzie's bed is in…so he's on the big bed…"

Trevor just nodded, hands in his pockets, and looked around.

"It's empty here…" he noticed.

"Well," Charlie began, realizing that he probably assumed they still lived in this apartment. "We don't live here anymore. Mom and Dad…they bought a house out in Sag Harbor. And the layout, well, it's perfect for them and Noah to have one side and me and Lizzie to have the other…"

"Oh," Trevor said, looking at her almost surprised. "I…just assumed you were still here…but that makes sense."

"It's been over two years, Trevor," Charlie said, an edge to her voice but it wasn't anger, and he knew that. "A lot has happened…"

"Right," he said, sighing a bit and rubbing his face, before reaching out to Charlie and touching her cheek. "I…I wanna hear all about it, eventually. The good, the bad, and the ugly."

She just smiled and nuzzled his hand a bit, twisting her head to kiss his palm before pulling away slightly.

"You will," she said. "But…it is going to take some time…to, well, figure this all out."

"I know."

Behind the couple, Ed cleared his throat as he and Olivia moved towards the living room, hoping the younger couple would follow. They did, and they all took their seats on the furniture. Charlie, not sure she wanted to be touching anyone, grabbed the overstuffed chair while Trevor pulled up the ottoman, and Ed and Olivia perched on the couch. They all leaned forward, as if they were physically about to put their heads together for a plan, before Ed began to speak again.

"We need to figure out a plan," he said. "Both for tonight and tomorrow."

Trevor immediately spoke up, reaching out for Charlie's hand but speaking from the heart.

"Whatever makes this easier for Charlie and for Lizzie…I'll do it. Even if it's not what I want…"

Charlie's heart cracked a bit at that statement, as all of the feelings she had for Trevor all of these years came flooding back to her. The way he so selflessly loved her, would do anything for her, no matter what the cost to him. And here he was, literally back from the dead, and still doing it.

"I…" Charlie said, before the tears returned and her shoulders began to shake. "I have no idea what to do. How does this work?"

"Okay, sweet girl," Olivia said, hurrying over and sitting on the arm of her chair, wrapping her up and getting her to calm down. "Okay, just breath for me. Okay? Just breath…"

Trevor looked at Ed, and almost with a mutual understanding, they nodded and Ed seemed to take over the situation.

"Tell ya what," he said. "Let's head back to Sag Harbor. I know it's late, kids are sleeping. But we can put them both in the Pilot. Charlie, you and Liv drive them back. And Trevor and I will follow in the truck. In case the kids wake up."

"Okay," Charlie said meekly, wiping her eyes and looking to Trevor to see if that was okay.

"Sounds great," he said, grabbing her hand and kissing it quickly.

"Then tomorrow, we'll talk to Noah…and I guess Lizzie…and start getting to know each other again," Ed said, finishing his plan and standing up to go clean up the kitchen before they left.

"We'll get the kids to the car," Olivia said. "You two go ahead and get out to the house…so we don't run the risk of them seeing Trevor yet…"

They all stood, and Charlie looked at Trevor before giving him a soft hug. He leaned down, wanting to kiss her, but she pulled back and patted his chest.

"I'll see you back at the house, okay?" she said, looking into his eyes and pleading for him to understand why she pulled away.

Of course, being Trevor, he did, and nodded at her.

"Sounds good."

* * *

 ** _Review? Please and thank you!_**


	10. Chapter 10

_**#Tuckson**_

* * *

It was not even five in the morning, yet all three Tuckers were wide awake and sitting at the breakfast island, sipping on hot coffee in silence. The only sound was an occasional cough or sniffle from Charlie, who was wearing bags under her eyes like she was at least twenty years older than she actual was.

It had been a long night. Once they all returned to the house, Olivia and Charlie got the kids tucked away before the men returned, but as soon as they arrived, the awkwardness set in.

Trevor, aware of a lengthy absence, but not having dealt with the emotional trauma that Charlie had, was obviously wanting to spend his first night back with her, but she was hesitant.

"It's not that…I don't wanna be with you…" she had tried to explain, to no avail. "It's more that this is a lot to take in…and, I don't think it's a good idea. Plus…what if Lizzie wakes up and comes in?"

Trying to understand, but still struggling, Trevor pouted a bit when the two of them were alone, tried to explain he didn't want sex, he just wanted to be with her and hold her, but he inadvertently pushed Charlie closer to the edge.

"What do you want me to do, Trevor?" she hissed at him. "I know this is hard for you too…but up until like, four days ago, I thought you were dead. Things aren't just gonna miraculously pick back up where we left off."

Now, sitting at the table, Charlie's emotions were swirling even faster, and as she mindlessly stirred her coffee, Ed and Olivia exchanged worried glances.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Ed tried to ask, but Charlie just shrugged.

"No," she whispered somewhat flatly, not bothering to look up, causing the trio to go back to sitting in silence. Her parents continued to share worried looks, but honored her apparent wish to sit in silence. Until she finally spoke up. "I can feel you looking at each other…spit it out…"

"I…" Olivia began, a little surprised at being called out on the looks, but also understanding her daughter was barely hanging by a thread. "I'm just worried about you. And I want to help you…"

"How do you want to tell Noah?" Charlie asked, deflecting her mother's concerned plea and directing the conversation to something they could actually control.

Ed took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his face. "Hell if I know…how do we even begin?" he was looking at the table, but his question was clearly directed at his wife, who seemed equally clueless.

"I guess…" she said, pausing a bit. "I guess we just explain what happened, but water it down?"

"Is there a watered down version?" Ed put back at her, trying to figure out what pieces they should leave out.

"No," Olivia said, shaking her head. "But we will make one. We just tell him…that…well, Trevor was hurt by a bad guy. And that the police had to hide him away while he got better and they caught him, and now he's back."

"We all need more therapy," Charlie muttered, getting up from the table to refresh her coffee. "This is fucking insane…"

"Charlie…" Olivia said, standing up and beginning to make her way over to her daughter to try and offer some support, but she was interrupted.

"Mornin' Mommy," Noah said, sleepily rubbing his eyes as he wandered into the kitchen in his train pajamas, his brown hair sticking out in every direction.

"Good morning, my love," Olivia said, making her way over to him and scooping him up for some morning cuddles. Noah laid his head on her shoulder, making eye contact with his sister.

"Charlie! You back!" he said, squirming from Olivia's embrace and bee-lining for the other woman. Charlie hoisted him up, smothered him in kisses, before settling into a cuddle. "I missed you…"

"I missed you, too, pal," she said, her eyes closed and just living in the moment.

"Lizzie back too?" Noah asked, popping his head up with eyes full of hope.

"Yep!" Charlie said happily, loving the smile she got from her little brother at the admission. "She's still asleep though. You woke up early!"

"Not early, Charlie," Noah said, never sleeping late. "Time to get up, read da paper, and drink coffee with Daddy."

Kissing her brother one more time, she put him down and he wandered over to his usual spot by Ed and climbed up onto the stool. But once he got settled, he looked around in confusion.

"Where da paper, Daddy?" he asked, causing Ed to let out a chuckle before looking over to the women to signal it was time.

"Well, No," he said, turning so he was facing him. Olivia went and sat on the other side of her son, while Charlie stayed leaning against the island and sipping coffee. "We need to talk to you about something."

"Okay," he said softly, quickly realizing this was a serious conversation.

"Noah, do you remember Trevor?" Olivia asked softly, running her fingers through his hair as his little brain went into over drive.

"Yep," Noah nodded. "He Lizzie's daddy, but he died."

"That's right, baby," Olivia said, fighting the already bubbling tears. "A bad man hurt Trevor, because he was being a hero."

"I 'member," Noah said seriously. "Charlie still sad? Lizzie sad?"

"Well," Olivia said. "Not exactly. You see, when the bad man hurt Trevor, the police needed to make sure he was safe. So, they made him hide for a long time…"

"He hide? Then he die?"

"Trevor didn't die, sweet boy," Olivia finally breathed out, as she watched nothing but confusion cross her six year old's features. "We were told he died, but he didn't. And now…the bad guy is gone…so Trevor is able to come back to his family…"

Noah just sat silently, while the three adults look at him trying to process this. Given they were confused themselves, it was understandable that the little boy would struggle with how to react. But then, all of a sudden, he surprised them.

"Okay," Noah said. "That good. Lizzie need a Daddy. When he come back?"

Olivia let out a little chuckle, and shook her head in disbelief. Was it that easy?

"He's already here. Sleeping in Charlie's room."

"K," he said, climbing down and making his way towards that side of the house.

"Noah, where ya going? He's still asleep…" Ed said, quickly getting up and following after him, but Noah turned around to speak.

"I go talk to Trevor" he said matter of factly. "Gotta be a good uncle and a good bruvver…so gotta talk to Trevor…"

The three adults looked at him a little confused, but the boy turned around and headed back in that direction. Ed moved to stop him, but Charlie reached out and intercepted.

"Let him talk to him, Dad," Charlie said. "It's fine…he's awake and waiting for the okay to come out. Maybe this is what Noah needs."

Reluctantly, Ed let his son go, but it didn't stop the three of them from standing out in the hallway to eaves drop on whatever it was Noah had to say.

* * *

"Noah!" Trevor said, as he answered the knock on the bedroom door. The man stood tall in his plaid pajama pants and navy t-shirt as he beamed down at Noah. "It's good to see you."

"Hi Trevor," Noah said softly, suddenly feeling a bit shy at seeing him after a couple of years. "You alive?"

Trevor let out a little chuckle and nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm alive pal…I'm so sorry I had to go away…"

Noah stayed still, examining Trevor. After a few minutes, Ed cleared his throat from the hallway.

"Why don't we all come out to the living room, so we don't wake the baby."

Noah slowly moved towards the couch, his eyes not leaving Trevor as they all got settled. He took a seat on the couch next to Trevor, before scrunching up his little face.

"You leave, Trevor," he said softly, as if he were repeated what he had been told. "Cuz the bad guy?"

"That's right," the man explained calmly, looking around the room for confirmation that he was okay to answer the questions. Olivia just smiled softly and nodded, signaling he was free to handle this however he wanted. "But the bad guy is gone now, so I don't have to hide."

"Charlie sad when you go away," Noah said softly, looking at Trevor with a squint eye that was identical to Olivia's, though biologically impossible. "And that make me sad."

As soon as Noah said those words, the emotion in the room just smothered everyone like a thick blanket. Trevor tried to swallow his feelings down, while Charlie got up and went into the kitchen for a break.

Ed and Olivia looked at each other, before Olivia excused herself to go check on her daughter, leaving the men in the living room. Ed moved over to the couch, so Noah was in between the two adults, and tried to help navigate the conversation.

"Ya know, Noah," he said. "Trevor didn't want to go away."

"You sad too?" Noah asked, looking up at the face of the devastated man.

"Very," Trevor replied. "I didn't want to leave Charlie…or Lizzie…and I, well, it breaks my heart a little bud."

"Me too, Trevor," Noah said, looking down a bit. For a child that young, he had such a deep sense of empathy and understanding, likely because of his mother. "But I taked good care of Lizzie and Charlie for you. I hug them when they cry. And I play with them. And I make them smile. I be da best uncle."

Trevor let a few tears fall down his cheek, so Ed pulled Noah onto his lap and gave him squeeze.

"You did so good, son," he whispered into his ear. "So so good. And they will keep needing you to love them and be the best uncle, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," Noah said, squirming out of his grip and leaning over to give Trevor a hug.

"I glad you back, Trevor," he said, closing his eyes a bit and cuddling up, before abruptly pulling away. "You not go away again. Gotta build tall forts for Lizzie."

* * *

"Charlie?" Olivia said, approaching her daughter who was now sitting out on the deck as the sun came up over the horizon. Tightening her robe, Olivia went to sit next to her on the step and nudged her a bit with her shoulder. "Talk to me?"

Charlie looked over at her mother with tears streaming in rivers down her face.

"Oh…oh baby girl," she gushed, heart breaking at the sight, and moving to pull her into her embrace. It was the first real embrace the two had shared since the news about Trevor had broken. "Okay, okay…I gotcha…"

"I can't do this," Charlie sobbed. "It's too much. My mind and heart can't handle it. I'm so confused. And now…now…do I have to share my daughter? I can't…I just can't, Momma…"

After the last sentence, the 28 year old just broke down in Olivia's arms, her cries so harsh they were silent and her entire body heaving and shaking as the emotion just wouldn't stop.

Olivia, unsure how to respond, just held her daughter as tightly as she could and rocked her gently. But before she could come up with any kind of response, a throat cleared behind her and the two women turned to see Trevor standing uncomfortably.

"Lizzie is awake…" he said. "Captain Tucker just went to get her…but…"

Charlie quickly stood, wiping her tears and shaking herself off, before brushing past Trevor and heading to her daughter. He stood, looking down and almost defeated, before Olivia approached him and offered a comforting hand on his arm.

"Gotta give it time," she said. "I know it's hard…but it is going to take time…"

* * *

A couple hours later, the sun had come up and the morning had warmed to a crisp fifty-five degrees. Lizzie Tucker was dressed in her little blue sweat suit and digging in the sandbox outside, while her mother and father sat on the ledge of the box and watched her.

The girl was introduced to Trevor, and Charlie just simply explained that he was her daddy, and showed her some of the pictures they had looked at together over the last two years. Obviously being Lizzie was still a toddler, she didn't understand any of it, and did not warm up to Trevor quickly.

Feeling defeated, Trevor worked hard to back off and not pressure the little girl to hug him or be around him, but Charlie was determined, so she suggested they let her play in the sandbox a bit. Maybe she would warm up to her father if she was distracted by toys.

"Mama!" Lizzie squealed, as she dumped a bucket of sand back into the box and grabbed her little shovel to try again. "Plop go da sand…"

"That's right, baby girl," Charlie cooed and stroked her hair. "You gonna dump it all out? Wanna build something?"

"Castle?" she asked, looking up at her mom with hopeful blue eyes. Charlie just nodded and looked to Trevor.

"I bet Daddy can build a good castle," she said, gently prodding her along. "You think we should ask?"

Lizzie eyed Trevor cautiously, looked again to her mother who nodded her support, then the little girl slowly handed Trevor the purple bucket.

"Castle, Da-Da?" she asked, her father's blue eyes looking at him wide and hopeful. Unable to contain a few tears at hearing her say "da-da", Trevor took a deep breath, wiped his cheek with his sleeve, and crawled into the sandbox.

"Absolutely, my love," he said softly and Lizzie just grinned at him, before plopping her sand covered bottom into his lap. "Let's build a sand castle."

* * *

While Trevor built both a sand castle and a relationship with his daughter, Ed and Olivia watched from the breakfast bar inside the house. Olivia hadn't said much since Charlie's slight outburst this morning, and Ed knew that the emotions of the last week were weighing heavily on his wife. He reached out and played with her hair a bit, looking at her profile softly, blue eyes filled with love.

"They seem okay," he said softly.

"Yeah…"

"Are you okay?"

"No…"

"Baby," Ed sighed out, moving his hand from her hair to the back of her neck and kneading a bit.

"Charlie…" she began, taking a few deep breaths so she didn't just cry her way through yet another conversation. "She's…she's trying so hard, but she's gonna break Ed. I can feel the pieces of her heart falling all over the place every time I look at her. And I don't know how to fix it…"

Ed just sat silently, continuing to knead at her neck, and move his sight from her face to the trio outside. After a few minutes of letting her words sit with him, he began to reply.

"Olivia, look at me," he commanded gently, causing her to look up at him, her brown eyes bloodshot and worn in a way he'd never seen before. "I see exactly what you're seeing. And…it's going to be a hard, hard road. But, she's talking to us. Or at least not running from us. So I hafta believe that we can get her through this."

"I hope you're right," Olivia said softly, giving him a soft smile before kissing him gently and stroking his face. "I hope we didn't damage our relationship too badly…"

"I know I'm right," Ed said, a cocky smirk appearing on his face. "Ya wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you. And our family. More than anything in this world," he said, his eyes staring straight into her heart and his words slowly mending the pain and fear she was feeling. "And that, to me, makes us invincible. We've been through too much and survived. We will get through this too. Together."

"Together," Olivia said, smiling at him and grasping his hands tightly in hers before turning her head to watch the scene outside and letting out a breath. "We can do anything together."

* * *

 ** _A/N: Admittedly, I'm feeling pretty run down these days...beyond just the drama of the show. Hopefully it hasn't bled too much into my writing, but I apologize if it has. Rest assured, I fully intend to keep this story going to the end, despite anything that may happen on screen with our favorite duo. So you can cross that off the list of things to worry about._**

 ** _Thanks for being such loyal readers, and I hope my coming updates do not disappoint despite my feeling off of my game. Tuckson is endgame in my fic world. #Always_**

 ** _Review, please?_**


	11. Chapter 11

_**I don't know about you all, but I'm much happier in this TucksoNoahLie universe than I am in the show one. So I'm doing my best to get some stuff out for you all to read. Not likely my best, but hey, they can't all be awesome.**_

 _ **#Tuckson**_

* * *

"So I was thinking maybe we could head back to the apartment tonight?" Trevor said, as he came and sat next to Charlie in the living room later that afternoon. After a positive morning of playing with Lizzie and having her slowly warm up to him, he was ready to just get his life back. But judging from Charlie's reaction to his statement, that plan was not likely to happen.

"Why?" She asked, her body completely tense as she folded tiny little clothes and avoided eye contact.

"Well, to get back on with our lives…" he said softly, reaching out and touching her shoulder, but she coward away from him.

"Trevor…" she said, shaking her head and putting the laundry down. She took a few deep breaths before burying her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do…"

"Charlie, we need to try and move on…"

"Move on…" Charlie said, in a soft whisper, before turning her head to glare at Trevor. "Do you have _any_ idea what the last two years have been like?"

"No, I don't…because I was kept in the dark for the entire time. Wondering if you were okay, if Lizzie was okay, if you were in danger because of me…or someone else…" he said, his voice was soft but his tone was anything but.

Charlie reigned in her emotion and looked at him, reaching out and grasping his hands and squeezing. Despite her own swirling emotions, it was clear to her that Trevor wasn't quite able to handle them yet. So she shoved them down and focused on him.

"I know," she whispered. "I know, babe. I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize," he said. "Just…it's been an awful two years for both of us…"

"It has," Charlie agreed before taking a deep breath. "But, it is going to take some time for all of this to just…get back to…well, whatever normal even means for us."

Trevor let out a sigh, but continued to hold her hands and keep their eyes connected. Deep down, he knew it was going to take more time than he wanted to get back on track with Charlie, and he still didn't even know what happened while he was gone. The one thing he did know, was that much like Olivia, she didn't trust easily. He had his work cut out for him, again.

"So what do we do?" he asked simply, deciding it was best for her to lead the way here. But she gave him a shrug and a smile.

"I have no idea," she admitted. "I'm not ready to leave here and go back to the city. And, if I'm honest, I may never be ready for that. I like it out here. Away from…everything bad."

"It's nice, relaxing," Trevor admitted, looking out the large front window of the Tucker house into a big front yard, and a quiet street. "I don't wanna live with your parents forever tho…"

Charlie just laughed and squeezed his hands a bit tighter.

"I know you don't," she said, biting her bottom lip and keeping her blue eyes locked with his. "But personally, I'm not ready to leave them…"

"I understand," he said. "What about Lizzie?"

"I…" Charlie began, her nerves beginning to grip her body and causing her to shake a little. "I think...well…I will never EVER keep her from you. I want you to know that, first and foremost."

"I sense a but coming here…"

"Look, I had to do this alone for two years, and we've been through…hell…" she admitted. "So I may struggle with sharing her for a bit…"

"What do you mean _sharing_ her?" Trevor asked, a little confused. "I'm not asking you to share her. I'm asking to be in her life… _with you_."

Charlie just laughed a little, and took one hand from his to rub her forehead.

"Didn't you say you didn't wanna stay here with my parents?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Look, Trevor…" Charlie began. "We have a lot to catch up on. And I…god, I am so glad you are here. But it is still unreal at the moment…"

"I get that," he said softly, using his free hand to play with her hair some and try to pull her a little closer to her. "Just…can you promise me that we are going to try? That we are going to talk, little bits at a time, and try to…get back to where we were?"

Their faces were inches apart, and Charlie could feel his breath lightly on her lips. She reached out to caress his face as she studied each feature, suddenly thankful he had shaved all of his scruff that morning. Giving him a soft smile, for the first time in 2 years Charlotte Tucker leaned forward and touched her lips to Trevor's, eliciting a small whimper from him.

His one had stayed in her hair as the other moved to the side of her neck so he could get a bit more access. The kiss lasted a few minutes and was softer than either had expected, but it felt perfect. There was no urgency behind it, though it was full of emotion. Tongues wrestled, throats gave way to soft whimpers and moans, and each set of blue eyes released tears and they tasted each other for the first time in a long while.

Finally pulling back for some air, Trevor kept his eyes closed and leaned his forehead on Charlie's.

"I love you," he said. "I'll do anything…"

"I love you too," she responded softly, her eyes finally opening. "And I know you will. So will I."

* * *

"Hey Ma?" Charlie called from where she was throwing her sneakers on in the foyer. Olivia came in from the kitchen, drying her hands with a little smile.

"What's up?" she asked, before looking around. "Where is everyone? It's quiet."

"Dad is out in the workshop," Charlie explained. "And Trevor took Lizzie out to watch him work. You know she loves being out there with her Papa…"

"It's adorable," Olivia said, her smile reaching her eyes for the first time in a while. "And Ed, he just eats it up."

"I know. It's disgustingly cute how smitten he is with my daughter."

"Where are you off to?" Olivia questioned, her face moving from contentment to a bit of worry.

"Thought I'd walk to get Noah from school," she said. "It's not too cold out and I could use the air…"

"That's a good idea," she said. "Want me to come along?"

"Nah," Charlie said. "I need to clear my head. But maybe…well…tonight, when the kids are down…you think we could talk some?"

"Absolutely sweet girl," Olivia said quickly, stepping forward and twisting a strand of light brown hair through her fingers. "Is something wrong?"

Charlie laughed a bit, but then shook her head.

"No," she said. "Nothing's wrong. I just miss my Momma."

Olivia swallowed a sob that came out of nowhere once her daughter made that statement, and stepped forward to pull her into an embrace. Kissing at her head, she held Charlie close and rocked them both a bit.

"Oh Charlie," she said. "I've missed you too, sweet girl. So much. And tonight, I'm all yours."

Charlie pulled back a bit, but kept her hands on Olivia's elbows and smiled at her.

"I love you," she said. "I'll be back with Noah soon."

"I love you, too. Be careful."

Olivia watched Charlie walk down the sidewalk and out of sight, before she closed the door and made her way back to the kitchen. She made an attempt at baking earlier, and now she was cleaning up that bad decision as all the cookies fell flat. Laughing at herself, she picked the tray back up and started scrubbing, finally allowing some peace to wash over her.

* * *

Meanwhile out in Ed Tucker's shed-turned-woodshop, Lizzie was standing by her tool kit and using a plastic hammer on some plastic nails, while Ed worked at sanding a large wooden toy chest.

"I never knew you were such a craftsman," Trevor said, standing to the side and watching with awe as Ed worked.

"I'm a man of many secrets, Langan," he responded with a smirk, before taking a break, removing his mask, and looking over at him. "You ever do stuff like this?"

"Nah," Trevor said. "Though, I wonder if it would do me some good to find a hobby."

"Well here," Ed said, throwing him a mask. "Put this on and help me sand this fucker down."

Trevor laughed a bit, put the mask on, and went to stand on the other side of the work bench that housed the chest and got to work. The two men worked in a comfortable silence, both checking Lizzie every few minutes, only to see she was engrossed in her own little creation.

After about fifteen minutes, Ed stopped and took the mask off, wiping his face a bit which caused Trevor to do the same. The men sat back on their stools and admired the progress.

"This is a great chest," Trevor said, running his hand along the now smooth surface. "You built it?"

"Yep," Ed said. "Started it several months ago. It's my therapy, as Olivia so lovingly says. Helluva lot cheaper than actually seeing someone."

Trevor just laughed and reached over for his coffee to take a sip.

"I hear ya."

"I'm not much for…well…talking, like Liv, but how are _you_ doing?" Ed asked, eyeing the man in front of him. He was genuinely concerned about how Trevor was, and figured with Charlie's emotional state, maybe he should give it a go and try to have a conversation.

"Alright," Trevor answered cautiously, looking over at Lizzie for a bit, before focusing back on Ed. "Glad that this…nightmare…is over. Glad to be home. Or, er, well, you know…"

Ed just laughed and put the man at ease.

"I know," he said. "This place doesn't feel like home to you, or at least not yet. But…well, we're glad you're back too."

The men sat there, almost awkwardly, before Trevor took a deep breath and asked a question he had been dying to know.

"Back at 1PP, Charlie…when she was yelling at the agents, mentioned that you and Olivia knew?"

"Yeah," Ed said, his head hanging a bit and he rubbed his hands on his worn out jeans.

"How? When?"

"Only about a couple weeks before you came back," Ed admitted. "We were at the trial, and Barba was given a note, he dropped charges, and well…you know me and Liv…"

Trevor let out a chuckle and nodded.

"I do," he said. "I'm sure you were breaking down Barba's door at that point."

"Maybe," Ed said with a smirk, his chest almost puffing out at the reputation that he still had. "I was told you were in WP, then later on I told Olivia…but, well, we kept it from Charlie for a little bit…"

"Oh boy," Trevor whispered, pausing as Lizzie seemed frustrated with something. He went over and helped her work a lone wooden peg back into her little board, and once he was sure she was back to work, went back over to his stool. "I'm sure that went over well…"

Ed just let out a sarcastic laugh, the smile on his face causing wrinkles along his cheek and forehead.

"I'm sure you know _exactly_ how that went."

"But she's been okay?" Trevor asked, his voice soft but desperate to know that the love of his life had been safe and cared for in his absence.

"I think Charlie needs to fill you in on some of the last two years," Ed allowed. "But not once was she alone. In any of this."

"Thank you…" Trevor breathed out, but Ed just looked at him, his smile gone and his face tense.

"I'm her father," Ed said slowly, hoping to convey the message to Trevor that he was happy that he was home, but his top priority would always be his children. "You don't have to thank me. I will continue to make sure she isn't alone. And I will continue to be what she needs me to be."

Trevor studied the man for a second, letting those words sink in. They weren't threatening words, but they were poignant.

"Captain."

"Call me Ed," the older man quickly interrupted, squishing the idea that he was angry at Trevor.

"Ed," Trevor began, again, all of sudden not sure what to say. "I didn't want this. I didn't ask for this."

"I know."

"I would've done anything to avoid this."

"I know."

The two men sat in silence for a bit, the sound of Lizzie still softly singing to herself as she kept playing filled the air and soothed two very unsettled souls.

"Look," Ed said, realizing he shouldn't be so hard on the man. "I know you love her. And she loves you too. But, my priority is going to be Charlie and Lizzie. And I will help you, however I can, while making sure they are okay."

"Understood," Trevor said, his throat a little dry but his tension beginning to ease.

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you want," Ed said, making sure to make eye contact so Trevor knew that the offer was sincere. "I want this to be as easy as it can be, for all of you."

"Thank you."

"But, if it's uncomfortable," he began. "Just let me know. Maybe we can find you a temporary place, close by, okay?"

"Sounds good, Ed," Trevor responded, standing up and nodding his thanks.

"Da-da!" Lizzie said, realizing the men were moving around. She toddled over to Trevor and lifted her arms up. "Up, Da-Da, up!"

Trevor hoisted the girl into the air, tossing her a bit and eliciting giggles, then settled her on his hip.

"Da-Da-Da-Da," she babbled on and on, as her little hands held his face and she blew spit bubbles at him. "Lub you."

Trevor closed his eyes, as his daughter settled her head on his shoulder.

Ed watched them, silently, feeling content in the moment, but there was another feeling bubbling up that he couldn't quite decipher. Shrugging it off, he made his way towards the large door of his shop and opened it, leading the trio back to the house, and trying not to think about the fact that if what he told Trevor was true, eventually Charlie and Lizzie would leave this house. And he wasn't ready for that at all.

* * *

 ** _What happens with Trevlie? Does Ed have to let his daughter and granddaughter go? Will Olivia and Charlie ever get back to what they had?_**

 ** _Leave a review and hopefully we'll find out._**


	12. Chapter 12

_**#Tuckson #Endgame #AtLeastInThisWorld**_

* * *

"No, Daddy, ya gotta hit it _IN_ da hole," Noah said, shaking his little head as Ed continually tried to put his glowing, neon green ball into the hole. With all of the excitement of Trevor's return, Ed was feeling like he hadn't spent as much time one-on-one with his son. Knowing that Olivia was hoping to have an evening with their daughter to try and reconnect, he researched some fun, indoor activities and stumbled upon a newly opened indoor miniature golf course.

At first, the term "Glow-In-The-Dark" didn't register with him, but when he showed Noah the website on the iPad and asked if he wanted to go, the boy immediately got excited and demanded to wear his dinosaur sneakers that also glowed.

"Dat way I match," he had informed Ed, very seriously, and it was all the older man could do not to laugh at the logic. So he got the directions, dressed Noah in his dino sneakers, tenderly kissed his wife goodbye, and off they went for a _'Boy's Nights Out'_.

"Who the hell invented Glow-In-The-Dark mini golf," Ed grumbled to himself, as he tried to focus his vision and hit the ball into the hole, with virtually no lighting. "Okay No, I'm gonna try again."

Noah watched with wide, excited eyes as Ed concentrated and slowly hit the little ball into the hole.

"Daddy!" He yelled with excitement, running over for a congratulatory hug. "You did it! You did it! Hole in…uh…FIVE!"

Ed playfully rolled his eyes and hugged his son as they laughed a bit together.

"Hole in five…" he mumbled, good naturedly. "Better than six."

"Yep," Noah said, as he took Ed's hand and they walked to the next hole together. "Better than six!"

As they walked and stood in line behind another family, Noah looked up at him.

"I six now," he said, as if Ed was unaware of his son's age. "I be seven soon, but I still six. I like being six. It fun."

"Yeah?" Ed asked. "What's been fun about it?"

"Well," Noah said, cocking his head to the side and getting his thoughtful pucker. "I go to new school and it fun. I have play-dates at this school. Da other school wasn't fun."

Ed nodded and ruffled the boy's hair, not wanting to interrupt him, but wanting to offer him some comfort and support. Noah had struggled so much in a New York City private school setting, and while things were better now, Ed realized that the little boy still had memory of being unhappy.

"When I was six, we got a house with a yard," he continued, automatically assuming that the move directly correlated with him turning six years old. "And we get sand-box for Lizzie and swings for me."

"That's true," Ed mused. It was mid-February so Noah still had a few months of being six, but this thought process of his made Ed smile. "But, ya know, as much fun as you're having being six…I think you'll have just as much fun, or more, being seven."

Noah kicked his foot a little, almost as if he was not happy with the idea of being seven.

"What happens when you're seven?"

"Hm," Ed thought, watching as the last kid in the group ahead of them hit the ball into the hole, relishing in the idea that he was saved from that question. "Look, No, it's our turn!"

Noah ran ahead, put his ball down on the mat, and turned around to look at Ed.

"Lookit Daddy," he said. "I show you how to do it da right way." The little boy concentrated on the putter and the ball, adjusted his little stance, then very carefully hit his glowing red ball and watched, unmoving, as it went through the course, teetered around the wall, and went right into the hole.

"HOLE IN ONE!" He yelled, dropping his putter, throwing his arm up into the arm, and jumping around. "Hole in one! Hole in one!"

Noah kept chanting, much to Ed's delight, as the older man joined his celebration and they both high-fived and did a little dance, before Noah instructed Ed do "do it just like dat". Setting his ball up, Ed tried hard to get his shot lined up, but unfortunately missed by a few inches, much to Noah's disappointment.

"Daddy," Noah said, letting out a little sigh. "Gotta keep teaching ya…"

Ed just chuckled, while shaking his head at how ridiculous he felt being beat by a six-year-old at mini-golf.

"Guess so, Noah," he said. "But we have all the time in the world."

* * *

Trevor Langan sat impatiently in a window-less room, strumming his fingers on a table, waiting for the person to pick up on the other end of his video call. After a morning of talking with both Charlie and Ed, he was summoned back into the city to tie up a few loose ends and get all of his identification back, so he had access to his money and his firm. Only now, he was stuck in an all-white interview room trying to get in touch with Tessa, when Agent Fuller walked in.

"She picking up?" he asked, taking a seat across from him and loosening his tie.

"No," Trevor said. "I know she'll be relieved now that this is out in the open, but I wish she'd pick up the call…"

"Ya know you broke protocol reaching out to her…"

"I understand, sir," Langan said, not flinching. "But she's my sister. I am all she has. I was not going to let her feel like that, especially if I ended up in witness protection for the rest of my life."

"How's Charlie gonna feel about you letting Tessa know, and not her," Agent Fuller asked, leaning forward and studying the man in front of him. He dealt with a lot of these cases, where loved ones are devastated over a death that he had a hand in faking. But for some reason, this one felt different. He knew Charlie from before, during her own nightmare, and there was an extra feeling of betrayal when he had to pull the plug on Trevor and devastate her.

"I'm hoping she won't find out," Trevor said. "That's why I need Tessa to pick up. I need her to know that it is over, and that under no circumstance can any of the Tuckers know that I let her in on this, while they were left to mourn my 'death'."

"You're playing with fire here, Langan," Agent Fuller said, fully understanding his reasoning but worried this would blow up. "Lying to two seasoned detectives, who are more protective of their children than anyone I've ever met?"

"I'm aware," he said. "But now I get to call the shots. Not you. And this is the call I'm making."

* * *

"Is our little Lizzie-Bug asleep?" Olivia asked softly as Charlie padded back out into the living room in her fuzzy socks, leggings, and large sweat shirt.

"Yep," she said. "Out like a light. She played hard today, cuz she never goes to bed this early."

Olivia glanced at the clock and nodded, realizing it was barely after seven that evening. Ed and Noah had left about an hour ago, and would likely be late getting home, so she had the couch to herself with Charlie. Just what she had been hoping for.

Charlie collapsed onto the middle sofa cushion, so she was next to Olivia but still had some space between them. Olivia watched her for a bit, before reaching out and twisting her hair in her fingers like she always did.

"How are you, sweet girl?"

Charlie just sighed, shook her head a bit, and continued to stare at the fire crackling in the fireplace.

"I don't even know where to begin…" Charlie whispered, not turning to look at Olivia but not pulling away from her. So Olivia continued to run her fingers through her daughter's soft, long brown locks and watch her profile as the fire illuminated her blue eyes.

"It's okay if you are still upset with me…with your dad…" Olivia said quietly, hating herself for even going there, but she needed Charlie to know that she understood the betrayal. And that she was free to be upset, and it wouldn't push her away. But to her delight, she watched as Charlie shook her head before turning to look at her.

"I'm not," she whispered. "I get it…I know you didn't want to keep this from me…and I know, now, that you hadn't even known that long…"

Olivia didn't say anything, but her entire body relaxed as she let the relief sink into her bones. Keeping one hand in the girl's hair, she reached out and grasped Charlie's right hand in her own, encouraging her to keep talking, just desperate to repair their relationship and get back to where they were.

"I guess, well, it was confusing to me at first…why I was so mad at you, and not as mad at Daddy. I mean, I was angry at him too…it just felt different" Charlie admitted quietly, figuring if they were going to talk, then they needed to get it all out in the open. "But, I came to realize…I get that he is my actual, biological parent. I'm physically a part of him. And I know that physically, I am not your daughter…"

"Charlie…" Olivia began to interrupt, hoping this conversation wasn't going where she thought it was, but Charlie shook her head and put that worry at ease, so Olivia backed off.

"No, I don't mean it that way," she said, closing her eyes a bit. "Gah, this is hard to figure out how to say…"

"Take your time…"

"I just, our relationship…I trust you so completely," she whispered out. "And I trust my Dad, too. But I guess it wouldn't have surprised me that he kept that from me, to protect me. He's so…well, such a dad. And such a man. He would give up anything to make sure that you, or me, or Noah, or Lizzie didn't get hurt. In any way. And, I know that you would do the same, but…"

"You felt like we had a more open relationship," Olivia said, filling in the blanks with her own, correct, assumption.

Charlie just let out a relieved sigh and nodded her head, finally meeting Olivia's eyes and seeing all the uncertainty, but also all the unconditional love, swirling around in them.

"Yeah," she breathed out. "You're my Momma. You come lay in bed with me and let me cry, let me talk, and you talk to me as well. You let me into places in your life, the same way I let you into mine. It's…more than I ever dreamed of in a mom as I grew up without one. You're not just my Momma, you're my best friend. So…it hurt…when I realized you kept that from me."

"Oh, baby girl…" Olivia said, shaking her head and willing her tears away. She was not going to be yet another blubbering mess of a mother during this conversation.

"But I understand," Charlie said, confidently and firmly. "And…I forgive you. And I'm so sorry that I was such a bitch…I know that my reaction hurt you…and I'm _so_ sorry Momma."

"Charlie," Olivia whispered, adjusting her position on the couch so she could pull her daughter into her side. With one arm wrapped around her shoulders, and the other clutching her hand, she kissed her cheek a few times and rested her forehead against Charlie's temple. "You have nothing to apologize for. I knew you were going to react that way. And, as you are finding out, part of being a Momma is just being upset and worrying about your babies. That never goes away. And this situation was not at all normal. So yes, I was hurt and upset and terrified. But it was because I hurt _for_ you. Not because of you."

"Momma, I've missed you," Charlie finally said, as the emotion just gushed out with one sentence, causing Olivia to release her hand, pulling Charlie into a stronger embrace and cupping her head against her neck. "I need you. I need you to help me get through this, because I don't know what to do anymore..."

"Oh, baby girl…I've always been right here, and I always will be. We are going to get through this the same we have every other thing life has thrown at us. Together."

* * *

Later that night, Olivia slowly made her way out of their bathroom and towards the bed in her sleep shorts and tank. Ed was sitting up in the bed, on top of the covers, reading with his glasses on. Sitting on her side of the bed, back to him, Olivia began to rub lotion into her legs until she felt her husband's hand under her tank top and his fingers tracing light circles on her lower back. Smirking a bit, she put the lotion down and turned her head so he could continue his motion but she could see his eyes.

"Something you need, Captain?" She quipped, an eyebrow raised at him as he just gave her a soft smile and kept moving his fingers lightly over the sink of her back.

"You," he graveled out, causing Olivia to reach up and take his glasses off and toss them on the nightstand, before cupping his face and leaning in to kiss him lightly. She gave him a light, innocent peck, each time pulling back to talk to him.

 _"You have me…."_

 _"All of me…."_

 _"Forever…"_

Growling at her last word, Ed lightly grabbed her wrists and pulled them from his face in order to lay her down on her back and fling his body on top of hers. Nuzzling their noses together, he removed her tank top and kept blue eyes on brown as they communicated without words.

Slowly, he began to place soft, light kisses along her cheek, down her jaw, and back behind her ear. His breaths were short and shallow, often landing right in Olivia's ear, as he continued to explore her neck.

"I love this neck…" he whispered, as his lips and tongue kept teasing her, causing her body to react and whimpers to escape her lips. "It's so…delicious…."

Olivia's hand moved to the back of Ed's head, hoping to keep his mouth on her body because it was doing amazing things to her in that moment, but her lower half was already burning with desire.

"Ed…" she moaned out, but he ignored her. He was busy.

"And this collar bone," he said, his tongue running along the length of it, from her throat to her shoulder, and back. "It's perfect…"

"Baby…" Olivia whimpered, trying once again to get him to give her what she so desperately wanted. But Ed was not deterred. As his tongue made its way back to her throat, he slowly licked his way down, through the valley of her breasts before picking his mouth up and looking her in the eyes as his lips closed around her left nipple.

"Oh god…" she cried out gently, her hips trying to move upwards to hopefully relieve some of the friction between her legs, but it was to no avail. She felt her husband chuckle a bit around her nipple, before he bit down gently and tugged a bit, then released with a pop and giving her a devilish grin and moving to her right one.

After paying identical attention to both of her breasts, he slithered down her body and removed her sleep shorts, before settling on his stomach and eyeing her already glistening core.

"Oh baby," he graveled out, placing soft, teasing kisses along her inner thighs. His hands reached out and grasped both of hers, settling them on her stomach, and he met her eyes once more. "I love you…and I'm gonna enjoy you tonight…"

Before Olivia could respond, Ed's mouth had descended upon her causing her to yelp and grip his hands harder in her own.

"Oh yesssssssss," she cried out, in an almost painful whisper, feeling relieved that her husband was ravishing her in that moment.

Ed kept up his ministrations, occasionally chuckling at the noises his wife made, but he never let go of her hands. As he worked her closer and closer to the edge, her whimpers getting louder and higher-pitched, he pulled back.

"What…" Olivia managed to say, confused as to why he didn't finish her off like he usually did, but her confusion was short lived as she watched him crawl up her body with an almost predatory look about him.

"I'm gonna blow your mind tonight, baby," he said softly into her ear, as he settled his body above hers and moved their still joined hands to either side of her head. Pulling his head up, he looked into her eyes to make sure she was okay, and as soon as he got the green light, he smothered her mouth with his own and thrust himself all the way inside of her.

For the next hour, no other words were spoken outside of the occasional grunt or moan from husband and wife, as they took their time loving each other's body. Ed managed to make Olivia come three times, before he finally spilled every ounce of love he had into her exhausted body and collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily in her ear. Olivia, her body still a pile of jello, managed to use one hand to lightly play with his shortly cropped hair, as they both lay panting.

"I love you," she said. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Olivia Margaret Benson. Always."

* * *

 ** _Well? Given there isn't a lot of other motivation out there to write, reviews matter even more. Thanks to all of my loyal readers and reviewers - I promise to finish this the way I originally planned, and do this story justice for you._**


	13. Chapter 13

**_#Tuckson_**

* * *

 **Three Months Later**

"So, when does Tessa land?" Olivia asked, folding clothes into a suitcase while her daughter sat cross-legged on their king-sized bed, sipping coffee. It was mid-afternoon on a gloomy, rainy, spring day and the house was quiet. Trevor had taken Lizzie to the airport, Noah was in school, and Ed was out running errands.

"A few hours," she replied softly, checking the time on her phone, then turning it back over. "Trevor was just anxious to get her."

"It was nice of you to let him take Lizzie," she mentioned, trying to gage the climate of Charlie's mood. But it seemed okay. "Are they coming back here tonight?"

"She's his kid too," she replied, shrugging her shoulders and continuing to sip at the hot liquid. "And…no. Lizzie's gonna spend the night in the city with them. Which, well, I'm nervous about, but I think she'll be fine. Trevor deserves this time with his daughter and sister. What's the worst case, they have to drive her back?"

"True," Olivia conceded, pausing from having her nose buried in her suitcase and studied her daughter, who seemed relatively relaxed and at peace, despite all the outer emotions swirling around them. Over the last three months, Trevor had finally backed off a bit and realized that maybe he and Charlie needed to start over. He had come in the one day and merely asked her out for coffee. Surprised, Charlie agreed after Ed offered to watch Lizzie, and off they went. From there, he would take her to dinner, or a show, or a concert, and they just spent time reconnecting.

A month into that, Ed had approached Charlie with the intent of taking Olivia away on a vacation. Charlie immediately agreed to keeping Noah, and even mentioned that Trevor might stay with them some, so she wasn't by herself. Ed, feeling comfortable with that plan, moved ahead with his own to surprise his wife with an Alaskan cruise that June.

Life continued on for the Tucker family after that, with Charlie and Trevor seeing each other 3-4 times a week, and Lizzie slowly getting reacquainted with her father. Olivia was beside herself about the dream vacation, and the opportunity to spend 10 uninterrupted days with her husband. So as she examined the contents currently in her suitcase, Olivia Benson-Tucker couldn't help but smile and feel a certain sense of peace wash over her.

"Whatcha smiling at, Momma?" Charlie asked curiously, eyeing her mother with bright blue eyes, and wanting to know whatever it was that had her face lit up that way.

"Oh, nothing," she said quietly, before moving over to the drawers in her walk in closet and sorted through various undergarments to bring along with her. The growing smirk on her face, again, did not go unnoticed by the other young woman in the room.

"Liar," Charlie said playfully, before putting her coffee on the nightstand and rolling of the bed, coming up behind Olivia and wrapping her around her and resting her head on her back. "You are so excited about the cruise you literally cannot contain it."

Olivia just sighed and reached down to Charlie's arms so she fully enjoyed the cuddle from her daughter.

"I am," she said. "I've always wanted to do this trip…and your Daddy knew that. I just can't wait to experience it with him."

"You two are so cute, it's almost disgusting," Charlie said with a chuckle, before releasing her mother and proceeding to help her sort through her lingerie. Smirking, Charlie pulled out a deep purple negligée and held it up in front of Olivia with one finger, her smirk growing. "I think ya outta bring this…Daddy would lose it…"

Olivia laughed, turning a bit pink in the cheeks, before grabbing it from her daughter and sauntering over to the bed and adding it to her suitcase.

"Ya know what?" she said, in a little sing-song voice. "You're probably right…"

* * *

"Essa…" Lizzie babbled as she toddled around Trevor and Charlie's old New York City apartment, bringing random toys to her aunt and plopping them in her lap before going back for more.

"Whatcha doin, Lizzie Bug?" Trevor asked, watching the scene with amusement, as the stack of baby toys in Tessa's lap became almost more than she could handle.

"Pway wiff Auntie," Lizzie said, getting two more plastic horses and coming over to the couch and settling herself by Tessa. One by one, she took each toy, and placed them carefully on a piece of couch in between her and her aunt, then studied them carefully. "Otay," she announced. "Weady…"

"Okay, sweet cheeks," Tessa exclaimed happily. "Which one am I?"

"Dis one," Lizzie said, pointing to the stuffed panda bear. "Here."

Trevor just laughed at how his daughter was successfully bossing around his head strong sister, and decided that the little girl was distracted enough for him to finally enter the conversation.

"Glad to be back for good?"

"Yes, definitely," Tessa said, her shoulders almost dropping as she admitted that. "As much good as I was doing over there, I missed being away from this munchkin. And Charlie…especially knowing how much she struggled with you being, well, not-really-dead, but still dead."

"Tessa…."

"I know it's not your fault," she said quickly, looking up at him. "And I'm…so grateful you finally got in touch with me so I could stop wallowing…but…"

"I know."

They fell into a comfortable silence, as Tessa moved the panda bear around at Lizzie's demands and Trevor watched with a small smile on his face. Finally, after several long minutes, Tessa took a breath and looked back up at her older brother.

"You've gotta tell Charlie that I knew," she said firmly, looking over at him. "I know you think she will be mad, but give her a chance. _IF_ she's mad, fine. But…you can't restart your relationship with her, with the intention of proposing and getting your family back, by lying to her about this…"

"What if she can't get past the fact that I let her believe I was dead for two years…"

"Trevor," Tessa said, adjusting herself so she could lean over and grasp his hands in her own. "It's a chance you are going to have to take. After everything that she has been through, she does not deserve to be lied to like this. But I have a feeling, that it's gonna be okay. That girl, for some strange reason, loves the crap out of you…and you owe her, at the very least, a fresh new start based on nothing but the truth."

* * *

"Ed, don't forget to pack your beanie!" Olivia yelled from where she was loading the dishwasher after dinner, allowing her husband to finally pack his own suitcase.

"It's not a beanie, Olivia," Ed yelled back, playfully. "Men don't wear beanies. It's a hat."

"Well, whatever it is, just pack it."

"Yeah, Daddy, gotta pack da hat! It cold in Alaska," Noah said from where he was playing with his cars in the living room.

"Fine," Ed grumbled, coming out of his room and heading to the foyer closet to root around for his hat and gloves. "You all win..."

"That's right I win," Olivia said playfully, pressing start on the machine, drying her hands, and coming out into the living room with her hands on her hips and a smile. "Mommy always wins, right Noah?"

"Right," he said, nodded hard, though not looking up from his current race. "Daddy, Mommy always wins. It da rule."

Ed just rolled his eyes and shook his head as he headed back to his bedroom to continue packing. On the way, Olivia could hear him mumbling to himself.

 _"I did not do a good enough job of corrupting Noah to my side…"_

Letting out a laugh, she went over and sat on the floor with her son and played with his hair a bit, before he squirmed away and shot her a little look.

"Sorry, sweet boy," she said with a smile, but continued to watch him play before deciding to talk to him for a bit. "You know, Mommy and Daddy are leaving tomorrow for a little while. Are you going to be okay?"

Noah was perfectly content staying with Charlie and Lizzie, but for Olivia, this will have been the longest she's ever been away from him since she became his mother. Sure, there had been days here and there where she wouldn't see him, but ten days was a long time to leave her sweet little boy at home and she wanted to make sure he was going to be okay.

"Uh huh," he said, nodding his head and finishing his race, before crawling over and into her lap. Leaning his head back against her chest, he kept talking. "I stay here with Charlie and Lizzie. And we eat junk food and watch movies. And I make sure Lizzie is okay. And I make sure Charlie isn't sad. And maybe we even play with Trevor!"

"That's right," Olivia said, holding her baby boy close to her chest and inhaling his scent, trying to memorize it. "Charlie will take such good care of you, and you will take good care of her…"

"Yep," Noah said softly, but confidently. "It cuz she my sister. And I her bruvver. And that what we do."

Olivia, though the conversation was meant to be lighthearted, couldn't help but look up for a bit and will the tears down. Even after all of these years, she couldn't quite believe that she had let her guard down enough to allow herself to experience this kind of family, this kind of love. To have a little boy who knew what it was like to have a mommy and a daddy and a sister. And now a niece, and maybe down the road, a brother in law. All of the things she didn't have when she was a child, she allowed herself to give to her son. And, although it was hard and scary, she gained so much more than she would've ever thought. A husband, who loved her more than life itself. A daughter, who was so much like her, despite genetics, that it was almost scary. Her squad, or former squad, had become family in a way she also never dreamed of. Life was seemingly perfect for Olivia Margaret Benson-Tucker who, after 40+ years of holding the world, and all it had to offer, at an arm's length, had taken that chance with Ed Tucker. And it was the hardest, but best, decision she had ever made.

"You sure are," she responded to her son, kissing his head. "And you can call us anytime you miss us, okay?"

Noah twisted around in Olivia's lap so he was facing her, took his grubby little boy hands, and put them on his mother's cheeks. Olivia, preparing for something profound and sweet to come out of his mouth, inhaled deeply through her nose and eyed him in suspense.

"I _know_ , Mommy. I be fine," he said, before narrowing his eyes and giving her a cute little smirk. "But you better bring me a good present."

* * *

"Well, Mrs. Tucker," Ed said the following morning, as he and Olivia sat in Terminal 4 of John F Kennedy International Airport and sipped their very expensive morning coffee from the airport vender. He reached over to take her free hand and kissed it firmly, before resting them together on his leg. "Ready for an adventure?"

Olivia just smiled and looked at him, her eyes were clear and her face was bright. She was happy.

"I am," she said. "I'm ready for any adventure with you."

"Ya sure about that?"

Laughing, Olivia shook her head before leaning over and kissing his lips gently and quickly.

"Ass," she said, knowing he was referring to all that they had been through together. Somehow, he always found a way to make her laugh, even in the unimaginable pain of the past. "As long as I have you by my side, next to me, I'm ready for anything…"

"I love you, ya know," he said quietly, his blue eyes searching her brown ones. Olivia studied him curiously, wondering why his tone went from playful to serious so quickly, but she shook it off. Ed Tucker was often like this, and he always had been in their relationship. He would make something light and funny, then turn serious in the blink of an eye. And despite the momentary whiplash of feelings, Olivia loved it.

"I know," she whispered, putting her coffee down so she could take her hand and cup his cheek, while squeezing his other hand in her own. "I love you too."

The couple sat for a few more minutes, gently kissing each other and whispering little words of love and laughter, before the announcement came that it was time to board.

"Delta Flight 1219 to Seattle, Washington now welcomes those in our Premium Cabin to board at this time."

Ed stood up, pulling Olivia with him, and they walked hand in hand towards the boarding gate. As they scanned their tickets and made their way down the jet way, Olivia rested her head on his shoulder and let out a sigh.

"You're happy aren't ya," he said, looking straight ahead but soaking in the copious amount of PDA his wife was expressing that morning.

"Never been happier."

"I've heard that before," he quipped back at her, moving to stow their shared carry on in the overhead bin, then taking his seat next to hers. Gripping her hand, he made sure to study her eyes so he could tell whether she was really meaning her next words.

"I know," she said. "And I meant it then. But I mean it even more now. I have never, _ever_ been happier. And there is no one that will ever be able to make me as happy as you do."

"Well in that case, let's go see some icebergs."

Olivia just laughed and settled back in her seat, hand still held tightly in her husband's, as they waited for the rest of the passengers to board to they could begin their next adventure together. And she couldn't wait.

* * *

 ** _I don't even know what to say at this point, but hopefully this chapter helped to lift some spirits. Leave a review, bc that is what lifts mine._**


	14. Chapter 14

_**It has admittedly been an emotional few days, for many reasons, and I hope that has not slipped into this update. Apologies if it has.**_

 _ **Also, maybe it's time to put this disclaimer up again: Show characters are sadly not mine, because they'd be treated so much better. But Charlie IS mine and she is special...**_

 _ **Now, where were we...oh yes...here...**_

* * *

Olivia was leaning against the railing of the upper deck of their cruise ship when Ed came up behind her and slid his arms around her stomach, nuzzling her cheek with his own, before following the path of her eyes and seeing the gorgeous and enormous icebergs.

"It is just breathtaking," Olivia murmured, moving her arms to rest above Ed's on her midsection and leaning back into his chest.

"Sure is," he said as he kissed the back of her head, perfectly content to stay right where he was for a long time. "The icebergs are nice too…"

Olivia just left out a little laugh, as a hint of red spread across her cheeks as she absorbed yet another deeply loving, and very Ed Tucker-like compliment. But Ed was not going to let it go at just that. He squeezed her more tightly to him and moved his mouth right above her ear.

"You are breathtaking, Olivia," he whispered, with so much conviction it almost brought tears to his wife's eyes. "And I know you spent an agonizingly long time believing differently, but I'm telling you right here. Right now. That you are breathtaking. Inside and out. And that you deserve to be told that every moment, of every day, until my last breath. Because it is the honest to god truth."

Feeling uncomfortable, but not quite able to turn in Ed's protective hold, Olivia just smiled softly out towards the ocean and swallowed any trace of tears that were beginning to form, before whispering a soft response.

"I love you," she said, squeezing his hands in hers and snuggling even further back into his chest. "Even when you say cheesy stuff like that…"

Ed just laughed and rested his chin on the top of her head, watching the icebergs slowly pass as the boat moved further and further up the Pacific to its Alaskan destination. It was day two of the cruise, and despite loving the alone time with his wife in their luxury cabin, Ed was ready to dock and stretch his sea legs a bit.

Ever since they had boarded the ship, he saw his wife begin to relax in a way she never had before. She would reach for his hand when walking even just a few feet to the bar, or rest her head on his shoulder as they waited for their morning coffee. It was as if Olivia Benson had left all of her cares and worries behind in New York, and Ed was soaking it up.

Leaning into her for one more kiss at her cheek, he checked his watch and noted the time.

"Wanna head back to the room? Dinner should be served in a couple of hours…"

"Sure," she said softly, finally turning in his arms and standing on her tip-toes to kiss his lips, briefly but passionately. "Let's go, Captain."

Hand in hand, the couple strolled back towards their room so that they could warm up a bit and get ready for the evening's activities. Ed's arm was secured around Olivia's waist, and her hand slipped into his back pocket as they meandered through the light crowd, lost in their own thoughts.

Once back at the room, Ed keyed the door open and ushered her in, before locking it behind him. As he turned around, he noticed Olivia picking her phone up from where she left it on the side table, and scrolling through what he assumed to be as messages.

"Did we miss anything of importance?"

"No," she said softly, firing off something quickly, before setting it back down and sauntering over to her husband. "I was hoping maybe Charlie had checked in, but she hasn't."

"That's a good sign, babe," he said deliberately, looking her straight in the eyes. He knew that despite her relaxed state, Olivia was still fretting a bit about leaving both of the children behind, but Ed had worked to convince her it would be okay, and he was just praying he was right. "They are fine. Noah is being spoiled, Charlie is perfectly happy, and maybe even Trevor is there. Stop. Worrying."

"I'm sure you're right," she said, biting her bottom lip and then looking at him with a smile. "But…care to distract me?"

Ed just growled a bit before moving towards her, taking her hands, and pulling her body impossibly close to his own.

"I'll distract you all day, baby," he said, beginning to move his lips all over his face. "All. Fucking. Day."

Olivia let out a little whimper and allowed her body to relax into her husband's embrace, pushing all thoughts that something was wrong down far enough that she didn't notice them for a bit.

* * *

While Ed and Olivia were otherwise occupied on their cruise, it was four hours later on Long Island and Charlie was just returning to the living room after reading Noah his third story and getting him to sleep. Trevor sat on the couch, clad in sweats and a tight, white t-shirt, holding what appeared to be a gin and tonic for Charlie to take. She graciously accepted, collapsing onto the couch next to him and curled her legs up under her.

"Cheers," she said, clinking her drink to his bourbon and taking a sip. "Mmmm, perfect…"

"Glad I'm not outta practice," he noted, a joking tone, and Charlie just laughed.

"Me too," she said, looking up at him and gazing into his eyes quietly for a bit.

"What's up?" Trevor asked, setting his glass down and moving to trace his index finger along her cheek and jaw bone.

"Nothing," she said, shrugging and sipping her drink, before turning to set it on the coffee table and situate herself so she was on her knees, still on the couch, facing Trevor. She reached up to cup his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. "I just…I wanna be with you…and I never want you to let me go…ever again…"

"Oh, baby," Trevor ground out as he leaned forward and pulled Charlie into his lap, so she was straddling him, and brushed her hair back. "I…God, I want that too…." He spoke those words, then immediately pressed his lips against hers with a desperate urgency.

Charlie kept her hands on his face as she opened her mouth and allowed him to take control of the kiss, exploring her mouth in a way that made her feel alive. Whole. And completely consumed with love.

Trevor had been back for several months now, and despite having started the dating process again, Charlie had still not allowed him to spend the night in her bed. She just wasn't there yet. But in that moment, after spending two full days with him, Lizzie, and Noah, she felt she was finally there. Gone were the feelings of total abandonment and hurt, and back were the feelings of trust and security. She trusted Trevor with everything in her, and she loved him with even more than that, and it was time she proved it to him.

But as they continued their quest to devour each other, now having moved to where Trevor was resting on top of Charlie on the couch, he pulled back abruptly. Shaking his head, he propelled himself so he was sitting up and allowed his head to hit the back of the couch, as he tried to catch his breath.

Charlie, momentarily stunned, stayed where she was, still panting, but eyeing him with a lot of confusion and maybe a little hurt.

"What's wrong?" She finally asked, a little afraid of the answer, but more worried for him.

Instead of answering, Trevor let out a big breath and rubbed his hand over his face. Charlie finally pulled herself to a sitting position, immediately reaching for his hands, and bringing them to her mouth so she could lightly kiss at his knuckles.

"Talk to me?"

"Charlotte…" he breathed out, finally rolling his head over so he could look at her. And there she was, sitting in front of him, clad in gray yoga pants and a white tank top, her bra thrown off somewhere near the window. Her chest was heaving and her lips were swollen from the kisses, but to him, she had never been more beautiful. More stunning. And more perfect. But that's when it hit him. He was lying to her, and he couldn't in good conscious take her to bed without clearing the air. So he took a deep breath, and steeled himself for the conversation they were about to have.

"You're scaring me," Charlie said, her eyes narrowing a bit in confusion as she watched her boyfriend have a lengthy conversation in his own head.

"I…." he said, his mouth suddenly dry and his hands sweating. "There's something I need to tell you…before we…well…you know…"

"Okay," Charlie said slowly, moving to take a large gulp of her drink and then settling back against the arm of the sofa, her feet touching Trevor's thighs, as she readied herself for whatever he had to say. "It can't be that bad, baby. Just tell me…"

Wiping his hands on his sweatpants, he finally turned and adjusted them so he could reach her hands, grasping them tightly.

"Charlie, I want you to know…that going into Witness Protection was the worst thing I've ever had to do," he said, his voice betraying the emotions that were pouring through his body in that moment. "I fought them. Hard. But then, when they said that you…and Lizzie…would be in danger if I were still here…I just, I had to go. I didn't have a choice…and I just, I want you to know that I thought about you every day. Every moment I was awake, and asleep for that matter. I couldn't stop wondering if you were okay. If you had moved on. Or if somehow, my death, had been the last straw for you…"

"Oh, Trevor," Charlie said, the tears beginning to flow and she moved closer to him and plopped herself back in his lap, hands still tightly clasped together between their bodies. Her eyes never left his, imploring him to continue. So he did.

"I kept asking my point of contact if there was any way they could get you a message," he said. "And they just refused, and I finally gave up. I really thought…maybe being gone…was the best thing for you…"

"No…" Charlie said, shaking her head, but Trevor moved his finger to her lips begging her to let him continue.

"Charlie," he said. "They wouldn't let me reach out to you. But…they did let me contact Tessa…"

Charlie's body stiffened a bit, her head cocking to the side in confusion.

"You mean right before you were able to come back?"

"No…" he said, closing his eyes and breathing deeply, before opening them and letting the secret out. "I called her about a month after I got situated in Arizona."

"What?" Charlie whispered, shaking her head. "I don't understand."

"Baby," he said, gripping her hands even more tightly and moving to kiss at them, desperately hoping she wouldn't pull away from him. "Tessa knew…almost the entire time…"

"She knew…"

"Yes."

"All this time…all those phone conversations…all those nights I cried for you…begged for you…" Charlie said, her voice barely a whisper. "You couldn't tell me…but you could tell her…"

"I'm sorry…."

"No you aren't," she said, looking at him, her eyes clear but there was something in them Trevor didn't quite recognize. And it scared him. "And I get that."

"What?"

Charlie just shrugged her shoulders and climbed off of Trevor's lap, ripping her hands from his and moving to stand by the window. She wrapped her arms around herself as she examined the starry night.

"She's your sister. You are all she has. I get that."

Trevor, surprised the conversation was going this way, but also assuming an explosion was still near, cautiously stood up and made his way towards the woman standing in the window. He stood next to her, afraid to touch her, so he kept his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

"It's okay if you're mad," he said softly.

"Is it?" Charlie asked, her voice becoming more and more distant.

"Well, yeah," he said. "I just…God, I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I know."

"But…"

"But that doesn't change that it happened," she said, her voice steady and her eyes still looking straight in front of her. "It doesn't make this any easier to deal with…"

"Baby…" he said, finally trying to reach out and touch her shoulder, but she shrugged him away before turning to look up at him, her body language signaling nothing but defeat.

"Do you want a fresh drink?" Charlie asked, turning suddenly and heading towards the kitchen. "Mine is too watered down, and I bet yours is warm. I'll top us off…"

Trevor watched her, confusion and fear beginning to fill his heart. She was withdrawing. Not that he could blame her, but he was fully expecting her to kick him out and get mad. But she didn't, and now watching her move emotionlessly through the kitchen, he wished that she had.

* * *

"Olivia…." Ed gasped out, his head hitting the back of the pillow and his hands moving to grip his wife's thighs as she moved above him, sitting straight up and staring down at him. Her hands were behind her, using his own thighs as leverage, as she moved up and down, alternating from hard and fast, to soft and slow. "Oh god, baby…."

Ed Tucker was used to being in control, both in life and in the bedroom, but he had met his match with Olivia Benson. Most nights they would battle for control, alternating positions and each one getting to exert themselves over the other. But occasionally, she would allow him total control of her. And tonight, it happened to be his turn to relinquish himself.

Their relationship was built on total trust. Their hearts, souls, and bodies were completely safe with the other, and they both knew that. And because of that, Ed was now on his back, upon the king-sized bed in their luxury state room, his fingers beginning to dig into Olivia's legs out of pleasure, as he grunted out pleas for her to give him some much needed relief.

Olivia had other plans. Moving her hands from his thighs, and placing them on his chest, she circled his nipples with both index fingers and gave him a sly grin as her body stopped its movements. She stayed still, his hard member fully sheathed inside of her, as she began to tweak his nipples and grin down at him, her burly, masculine husband who was now reduced to whimpers and pleas as she played with his body.

"Whatcha want?" She asked, her head cocked to the side, as she lightly began to pull on his sensitive buds. Her smile grew as his eyes closed and he let out a _"God…Olivia…"_

"I'm not God, baby…what else can I getcha…"

Ed opened his eyes and chuckled a bit, exerting every ounce of strength he had to not flip them over and fuck her senseless. No. This was her moment. She was in control. But dammit, she was killing him slowly.

"You," he breathed out. "I want you…"

Olivia just smiled and rotated her hips a bit, eliciting a yelp from her husband that made her giggle a bit.

"Poor baby," she whispered, leaning down to lick the shell of his ear. "Lemme put you out of your misery…"

She resumed her movements, now laid out on top of him, their nipples brushing against each other's. Ed moved his hands to grip her hips, allowing himself to slam up into her over and over again until he let out a feral grunt, releasing everything he had in him into her warm body. As he continued to come inside of her, he moved one hand to her center and rubbed her furiously until her body tensed up and exploded around him.

"Oh god…" Olivia breathed out, collapsing fully on top of Ed as they both tried to catch their breath. "Jesus…this just gets better and better…"

Ed let out a chuckle, moving his hands to hold her firmly against him and kiss at her now damp hair.

"And this is only the beginning…" he whispered into her ear, lovingly. "For the rest of our lives, both in the bed and out in the world, it's only gonna get better from here…"

* * *

 ** _I've tossed around a couple of ideas with the rest of this story. One is to wrap up the loose ends I have going right now, and end the story. The other is to continue on, which includes a few more bumps in the road for our TucksoNoahLie family. Let me know what you think (nicely) in the review section..._**

 ** _#Tuckson #Always #EspeciallyInThisWorld_**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Seems like most of you want to continue, so we'll do just that. And to reassure one reviewer, who cracked me up, I promise not to drive them off a cliff!**_

 _ **#Tuckson**_

* * *

"Noah, you want turkey or ham?" Charlie asked, her head stuck in the refrigerator, rummaging around for supplies to throw together Noah's lunch for school. Forgetting to check the menu the night before, she quickly checked the school app that morning after Noah asked, and realized it was chicken pot pie.

"GROSS" Noah said, making a face and shaking his head. "None of that for Noah. We make lunch here, Charlie."

"Okay, pal," she said, just assuming the kitchen was stocked with what he liked, but now that she was searching, she realized supplies were short.

"Turkey, please," he said, sipping his OJ and taking a bite out of his toast, refusing to pick up the cartoon section until his Daddy returned to read with him.

"You got it. Gonna have to have turkey and cheese roll-ups, because that toast was the last of the bread…"

Noah just shook his head and rolled his eyes a bit.

"That why you go to the store, Charlie," he said all knowingly. "But don't worry, wrap is good."

He hopped down from the bench, heading over to where Charlie was a little stressed trying to put together a nutritious lunch, and hugged her legs.

"Tanks, Charlie," he said. "I love you."

Charlie stopped what she was doing and squatted down to be eye level, poking Noah's nose and smiling at him.

"I love you too," she said. "You're my best friend, just like always."

"You my best friend too," Noah said. "Don't worry."

Laughing a bit, Charlie stood back up and threw the wrap, applesauce, and Cheez-Its into his lunchbox, zipped it up, and handed it off.

"Here ya go," she said. "Go put that with your backpack, then brush your teeth. We gotta hit the road, Jack!"

"Hit da road, Jack!" Noah repeated as he skipped off towards the living room. Charlie let out a sigh and went to refill her coffee. It had been a quiet morning for her. Trevor had taken Lizzie to stay in the city the night before, wanting to spend a bit more time with Tessa. Still not ready to acknowledge the bomb he had dropped on her a couple days earlier, she politely declined the invitation to join them for dinner, instead focusing on spending time with her little brother. But as she realized he was about to be at school, and she had the house to herself, she began to regret allowing Trevor to take Lizzie with him.

Charlie went over to the kitchen island and fired off a text, trying to figure out what time Trevor was returning with their daughter, before grabbing her coffee and waiting by the front door for Noah to finally be ready to depart for school.

"I ready!" He yelled, running down the hall about five minutes later with his backpack on his back and his lunchbox in his hand.

"Okay, pal. Wanna walk today?"

"Yeah, let's walk," Noah said, taking his sister's hand as they made their way down the stairs and towards the sidewalk that lined the street. "Lizzie be home when I get done at school?"

Charlie just looked down at him with a smile, swinging their hands a bit.

"She should be," she answered carefully. "I'll tell Trevor to make sure of it…"

* * *

Ed and Olivia ducked into a little café in Skagway, Alaska, after spending their morning on the ever gorgeous Yukon Route Railway. Shivering, Ed immediately flagged down the waiter for a couple hot cups of coffee, before settling in the booth across from his wife, and not taking any of his clothing layers off.

"See?" Olivia said teasingly, running her fingers along his hands in the center of the table. "I told you that beanie would come in handy…"

"Not a beanie, Olivia," he said with a joking smirk, before winking at her. "But you were right. As usual."

Triumphantly, Olivia sat back a bit, keeping her hands on his, and just looked at her husband's face. His cheeks were rosy, likely due to the wind, and his lips seemed a bit dry. But other than that, he was just as handsome as ever. Maybe even more so, given the relaxed state they were both in during this trip.

"You want lunch?" She asked, figuring she had stared at him long enough and reaching for the menus.

"Sure," he said. "This place seems okay enough. See anything ya like?"

Olivia perused the menu for a bit, biting her bottom lip as she often did when she was thinking. Ed, instead of looking at the menu, watched his wife carefully examine the menu items. That was, until she noticed she was being observed.

"What?" She asked, looking up over the laminated piece of paper and raising an eyebrow at Ed.

"Nothing," he said. "Just watchin' you."

"I noticed."

"What, I can't just look at you?"

"You can," she allowed slowly, putting the menu down and reaching back for his hands. "Any reason you are watching me _right now_?"

"No," he said, shrugging his shoulders and gripping her fingers. "Just 'cause I can."

"Well, okay then," she said, her eyes rolling a bit. "I'm gonna get a crab roll…wanna split it?"

"Absolutely," Ed said, grinning and leaning over the table to kiss her lips.

* * *

"Hey Charlie," Trevor called, as he and Lizzie came barreling in the front door that afternoon. "We're back!"

Emerging from the back bedroom, Charlie came towards them and immediately scooped up her daughter, smothering her face and head with kisses.

"Hi baby girl," she cooed. "Mommy missed you so much. So so so much."

Lizzie just curled herself into her mother, grasping at her shirt and closing her eyes as if she, too, were relieved to be back in those familiar arms.

"Mama," she said softly, before resuming her task of sucking at her two middle fingers and closing her eyes in contentment.

Charlie moved them towards the living room, plopping onto the sofa and adjusting Lizzie so she was comfortably able to rest, before looking up to where Trevor was somewhat awkwardly standing beside the couch, hands in his pockets.

"How was it?" she asked, her eyes curious as to what his deal was, but choosing to ignore it for the time being.

"Good," he said. "She was up a lot last night. Unfamiliar setting, I suppose. I almost called and brought her back, but she seemed to settle as long as she slept on my chest…"

"Sweet baby girl," Charlie whispered, as she took in their rough night, and held Lizzie a bit closer to her. "Mama's here, baby girl. It's okay. You were fine...just close those little eyes okay? I'll be right here…"

Trevor just stood there, rocking a bit on the heels of his feet, until Charlie finally looked up again and met his downcast eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, genuinely wondering, but also not quite showing that in her tone.

"I…well…"

"Spit it out."

"Tessa is leaving tomorrow," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Heading back to LA to get reacquainted with life. And I was hoping I could see her again tonight, but I don't think Lizzie wants to be away from you…and I don't wanna be away from Lizzie…"

"Okay…" Charlie said slowly, knowing what he was hinting at, but not quite sure she was ready for some big, happy, family reunion with the woman.

"Do you think she could come here for dinner?" he asked finally, his blue eyes pleading with his girlfriend to accommodate this request.

Charlie took a breath, and searched Trevor's eyes in that moment. If she were honest, she did not want to get together that night. But the alternative was to once again uproot her already exhausted daughter, and so eventually, the heart of the mother won out.

"Sure," she said, a quick nod of her head. "Maybe we'll order in. I'm not feeling up to cooking."

"Perfect," he said, breathing out a sigh of relief and shooting of what Charlie assumed was a quick text to his sister confirming the plans.

"She can stay in Lizzie's room tonight, if she wants." Charlie said quietly, realizing that might be easier. "Then you can take her to the airport from here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered as she looked down as saw that Lizzie was out cold, and drooling, against her chest. "I need to put her down…I'll be right back."

Trevor let out a sigh as he watched Charlie and Lizzie disappear into the back hall, before collapsing onto the couch himself. He leaned his head on the back cushion and looked up at the ceiling as he gave himself a pep talk.

"Okay, Trevor," he said quietly. "Progress. Slow and steady wins the race."

* * *

"Where to next, m'lady?" Ed asked gallantly, as he took Olivia's hand and kissed it, before leading her back onto the sidewalk and into the little Alaskan town.

Olivia let out a little sigh and grinned, looking around at the old town scenery surrounded by ice-capped mountains. Keeping a hold of her husband's hand, she led them slowly passed a few little stores before looking back up at him.

"I dunno," she said honestly. "How much time do we have?"

"Several hours," he said, checking his watch. "We don't have to re-board until 9pm."

"Wow…"

"What is it?"

"That's late," she said with a little chuckle. "But then again, we've been awake more than we have been asleep the last few nights…"

Ed grinned, squeezing her hand in his, as they continued to walk. He let that comment go, feeling immensely proud that in their late-fifties, he could still keep her up and make love into the wee hours of the morning. One of the perks of having kept in tip-top shape their entire lives. As they approached an intersection, he felt Olivia falter a bit, almost as if she lost her balance.

"Liv?" He asked, immediately taking both hands and putting them on her waist to steady her. "Ya alright?"

"Yeah," she said, a little out of breath, and she pushed her hair out from her eyes. "Just lost my balance a bit. Still feels a bit like we are on the ship…"

"I hear ya," Ed murmured, his eyes not leaving her face until it looked like she had gotten over whatever dizzy spell had just occurred. "You sure you're okay?"

"Positive," she said, looking up at him, her brown eyes finally clear again. "But, I wouldn't mind making our way back to the ship. I'm just, really tired…"

"Anything you want, baby," Ed said, his arm now firmly wrapped around her shoulders as he led them back towards the port. "Maybe we can hit up the spa before everyone else gets back on board. And then, I promise to let you sleep tonight…"

Olivia just laughed and rested her body against his as they meandered the cobblestone sidewalk.

"I don't believe you," she said with a smirk. "But it's a nice thought."

* * *

"PIZZA!" Noah yelled, hearing the doorbell ring and rushing to help Charlie greet the delivery person. Pizza on a weeknight was a rare treat for Noah, and he was off the walls excited to get his little hands on all that cheese and grease.

Tessa had arrived at the house about an hour earlier, and Charlie had mentioned the idea of pizza cautiously, feeling bad about not having the woman a home cooked meal.

"Oh honey, I've been craving NOTHING but New York pizza since I got back," she said, reassuring the younger woman next to her.

"Noah, go take this and put it on the table please," Charlie said, handing him the brown paper bag with salads and utensils inside. Turning to the delivery guy, she handed over a wad of cash and took the two, steaming hot pies. "Keep the change, Tyler. Have a good night."

Trevor helped Noah set the dining room table with paper plates and napkins, as Tessa tied a bib around Lizzie and handed her a spill proof cup of water.

"What does everyone want to drink?" She asked, making her way over into the kitchen, but Charlie shook her head.

"You sit and relax," she said quickly. "I'll get drinks. Do we want a bottle of red? Or just water?"

"Wine sounds good," Trevor said, eyeing Charlie a bit. Though she had not been cold to anyone, something was off about her. Most of her actions and her words had felt quite forced. He couldn't put his finger on it, because he knew she was being sincere in all of her offers and comments to Tessa, but something just wasn't right.

Tessa had noticed as well, but brushed it off and eyed Trevor to do the same. As she had told him the night before, _"The girl has been through hell, and she feels betrayed yet again. Let her lead this. Don't push."_

"Okay, here we go," Charlie said, almost too cheerfully, as she placed the open bottle on wine on the table. "Help yourselves and dig in!"

Noah immediately dove into a slice of pepperoni and meatball pizza, causing Trevor to let out a hearty chuckle.

"Noah, you sure you like pizza? Maybe we should get you something else…" he teased. But he was met with the Noah Porter Benson-Tucker death stare.

"My pizza, Trevor," he said firmly, with a little squint eye, before taking another large bite and grinning.

An almost awkward silence came over the table, as they all munched quietly on their dinner, occasionally sipping wine and looking around at each other. Charlie focused most of her attention on making sure Lizzie was getting more than just sauce in her mouth, as she had cut up a slice of cheese pizza on her high chair. Face and hands covered in sauce, Lizzie was perfectly content to try and shove whatever she could of the Italian cuisine into her mouth and then smile triumphantly.

"Yummy, yummy, in my TUMMY," she said loudly, her hands hitting the tray as Charlie laughed and broke up a few more pieces for her to eat.

"You'd think we are Italian, not Irish," she said with an eye roll, causing Tessa to laugh a little bit.

"New York pizza makes everyone Italian, girl."

"Isn't that the truth."

The group of five continued their meal in silence, occasionally pausing for Noah to tell a story from school or for Lizzie to sling something onto the floor. But aside from that, the adults weren't doing much talking to each other. Finally, Charlie took a deep breath and tried to work around her own wall of feelings.

"What time is your flight tomorrow?" she asked softly, addressing the dark haired woman to her left.

"Noon," Tessa said, swallowing her bite and washing it down with a sip of wine. "Wanted to get back to LA early enough to have a few hours before I crashed."

"Good idea," Charlie said with a smile. "You excited to get back to your apartment? Your home?"

Tessa thought for a bit, wiping her mouth, and then placing her hands in her lap.

"I honestly don't know," she said, glancing quickly at Trevor and then eyeing Charlie a bit. "Life feels just a little out of control."

"Tell me about it," Charlie said, before snapping herself out of it and patting Tessa's hand with her own. "It will take a while, but we…you'll…get there."

"Charlie," Tessa said, grasping her hand and not allowing her to pull away just now. "I'm just so sorry…"

"It's fine," she responded shortly, but in a firm tone, signaling she didn't want to talk about it. "It is what it is, and we just hafta figure out how to live with it."

"Charlie…" Trevor said, knowing she was avoiding things and shutting down, yet again, but his attempt to say something was shut down quickly by the harsh glare of his girlfriend.

"Stop," she hissed out. "I don't want to talk about this. Not right here. Not right now. And not with the two of you," she said, finishing off her glass of wine and standing up. "Who wants more wine? I think we need another bottle opened."

Charlie made her way into the pantry area and unlocked the wine rack, pretending to look for another bottle, but really working to push her tears back down.

"Stop, Charlie," she said to herself. "Just…stop it. Get the wine, put on a smile, and keep going."

Finally selecting a similar bottle, she locked the cabinet and made her way back to the table and handed the bottle to Trevor.

"Can you open this, babe? I just need to use the restroom…"

As she headed down the hallway, Trevor placed the bottle onto the table and his head dropped. Tessa followed Charlie with her eyes, before looking around at the two kiddos who were covered in pizza sauce and oblivious to what was going on amongst the adults.

"I'm sorry, big brother," Tessa said quietly, rubbing his back a bit. "It's going to be okay."

"I sure hope so," he replied, looking down the hallway where Charlie had just disappeared. "I sure hope so."

* * *

 ** _What's going on with Charlie? Does Ed actually let Olivia get some sleep once they get home?_**

 ** _Review, review, review._**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Three updates in three days...don't get used to it! But definitely enjoy it..._**

 ** _#Tuckson_**

* * *

"Ya okay?" Ed asked, as Olivia joined him out on the balcony of their stateroom. He moved so she could slip into his embrace and held her gently, kissing at her head and noticing it felt warm.

"I feel like shit," she mumbled into his chest, her body still shaking a bit from losing her lunch in the bathroom.

"Okay," he whispered, moving them to the lounge chair and settling himself back so she could curl up on top of him and rest. As soon as her body relaxed against his, and his arms went back around her body, she let out a shuddering sigh and closed her eyes.

"Can we just stay like this?"

"Absolutely," Ed said, rubbing her back softly and watching the view of the ocean water slowly moving past them as the ship headed back to its Seattle port. "The nurse's line on the ship said there was a nasty bug making its way around…"

"Just great…" she mumbled, her head still buried in his chest and her body beginning to shiver. Ed grabbed the blanket from the chair next to the lounge and covered her up, tucking it under her chin so she was securely wrapped in the warmth. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?" Ed asked, incredulously.

"It's been such a great trip, and now I'm miserable."

"Hey…" he said, quickly kissing at her face and head, his arms rubbing the outside of the blanket that covered her body. "It has been a great trip. And that doesn't change because you caught the bug that's been floating around."

"True, but…"

"No buts," Ed interrupted softly. "In fact, despite you feeling so miserable, I'm secretly happy to spend our last day at sea right here, in this lounge, holding you close to me."

Olivia let out a sigh and snuggled into him even more than she thought possible, before closing her eyes.

"I love you," she whispered, before drifting off to sleep. Ed squeezed her tighter and rested his chin on the crown of her head.

"Love you too, baby. Always."

* * *

Noah stood on a stool in his bathroom, vigorously brushing his teeth as the tooth brush sang the Thomas theme song. He had never had an issue with oral hygiene, but became obsessed with the idea that his toothbrush would sing to him until he was done brushing his teeth. So Olivia made sure to keep batteries stocked in it so the boy officially brushed for two minutes, twice a day.

While he was watching himself brush in the mirror, Charlie slipped out of the bathroom and walked across the house to toss his grimy clothes in the wash, and pop into her own bathroom. After relieving herself and flushing the toilet, she opened the tiny, locked drawer and shook a little white pill into her hand before placing it under her tongue to dissolve.

"What are you doing?" Trevor asked, his voice slightly louder than he intended, causing Charlie to just clear out of her skin.

"Jesus Christ, Trevor," she said breathlessly, her hand over her heart, and her tongue still in place so the pill would dissolve. She held up a hand to him, signaling she needed to let the pill dissolve, and he nodded.

"Okay," she said. "Sorry…but what the hell? Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Sorry, I thought you saw me standing here," he said, his face studying hers carefully, suddenly making her uncomfortable. But she ignored it, and pushed past him to go check on Noah.

"Lizzie asleep?" She asked softly over her shoulder, knowing that Trevor was following her at this point.

"Out cold," he said. "Didn't even make it through Goodnight Moon in the rocking chair."

Charlie let out a laugh, finally finding Noah digging through the toy chest in his room.

"What's up, pal?" She asked, her head cocked to the side as he was clearly on a mission.

"Hafta find da bear…"

"What bear?" Charlie asked, confused, as Noah had never slept with a bear. He had many stuffed animals and toys that he coveted, but she didn't remember a bear.

"Da bear, Charlie," Noah said, as if she would suddenly remember. He didn't lift his head out of his toy chest, as various items flew every which way as he dug and dug for his goal. "FOUND IT!"

He held up the bear, seemingly old and rusty, with the largest paws Charlie had ever seen on a stuffed animal.

"Good job," she said, still wondering what the heck he was doing. "You gonna sleep with this bear?"

"Nope," he said. "It for you. I 'membered it had soft paws. See?"

He held up the bear for his sister to feel, and sure enough, those big over-stuffed paws were incredibly soft and soothing.

"Aw, pal, I don't wanna take your bear."

"No, you hafta," Noah said. "Uncle Munchie gave me this bear when Daddy was sick. And he say that he make you feel better. I feel better, but I know you still crying, so time for you to sleep with da bear."

"Noah…" Charlie breathed out, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. She was the adult in this situation, but her little brother seemed to read directly into her heart and soul, and sometimes it overwhelmed her just how much he cared for her. She reached out and took the bear, feeling it's paws and holding to her chest. "You are just the best brother ever. I love you."

"Love you too, Charlie," he said, crashing into her legs for a hug. "We read stories in your bed?"

"Anything you want," she said. "Go climb in and get comfy, I'll grab some books and my tea, and I'll be right in."

"Okay!" He said happily, running across the house, the sound of his little footsteps echoing in Charlie's head.

Clearing his throat, Trevor reminded her of his presence, and she looked up with a soft smile.

"Sorry," she said. "Noah is just…sometimes he just reaches right into my heart and squeezes…"

"I know," he said, reaching out to touch her face. "He sure does love you…"

"Yeah…"

"Listen, Charlie," Trevor said, reaching for her elbow as both of her hands were still clutching the bear. "I…I'm worried about you."

"Trevor, not now," she said, shaking her head, her voice sounding exhausting.

"What pills did you just take?" He asked bluntly. She ripped her arm out of his grasp and glared at him, causing him to wince.

"Are you serious right now?" She asked, exasperation filling her tone.

"I am," he said. "I'm not going to watch you drown yourself in wine and pills…"

"Wow," she said, shaking her head and closing her eyes for a few minutes, before lifting her head and re-opening them, pinning him to the wall with her glare. "I took a Xanax, Trevor. One. The first one today. Because you, and everyone else I trust, have done nothing but lie to me. Hurt me. And I'm having a hard time dealing with that on my own right now. And my parents sure as hell don't need to return from their vacation to me being this fucked up. So I'm following my doctor's orders, and taking a Xanax each evening so I can somewhat sleep and be rested enough to be a good Momma to our daughter."

"Charlie…"

"Shut up," she hissed. "Just…stop it. You have _no_ idea. Don't you _dare_ accuse me of relying on drugs. Ever."

"I'm sorry," he said softly, hoping she would calm down, but she didn't.

"Me too," she said, storming passed him and heading to the kitchen, where she grabbed her now luke warm lavender tea, nuked it in the microwave, and went off to her room to read with Noah, shutting the door behind her.

* * *

It was pushing three in the morning when Ed and Olivia finally pulled into their driveway after a long and exhausting trip home. Olivia was huddled in the passenger seat of his truck, both her and Ed's jacket wrapped around her still shivering body. Quietly shutting off the engine and climbing out, Ed made his way around to his wife's side and gently opened her door, allowing her body to softly fall against his.

"Ed?" she murmured, still pretty out of it. Before boarding the plane, she was required to take her temperature and it was sitting steady around 100, which allowed her on the flight but she was miserable. Since landing, Ed was convinced she was getting worse. Though he instinctively knew it was just the bug, and the nurse had given him all of the symptoms to expect, he still worried endlessly about his wife being sick.

"Right here, sweetheart," he said, brushing her hair out of her face and pressing his lips against her warm forehead. "We're home. Let's get you in bed…"

"Kay…" she said, stepping out of the truck and falling against his body, allowing him to lead her up the stairs and in the front door. "It's so good to be home…"

"I know," he said, turning on a few lamps and quietly steering her towards the bedroom, but he stopped when he noticed Trevor asleep on the couch.

"Why's he on the couch?" Olivia asked, a little confused. He had been sleeping in Lizzie's room on the guest bed Charlie had set up, so this arrangement seemed odd.

"I dunno," Ed said, looking around a bit. "Why don't you lay down and I'll see where everyone is."

"No, I'm coming with you," she said, suddenly finding a little energy and refusing to rest until she was assured everyone was safe and asleep. Ed just rolled his eyes and turned them so they were heading towards Charlie's room. He softly cracked the door open and both parents felt their hearts melt a little at the sight. Charlie was asleep on her back, one of Noah's Narnia novels face down on her stomach and a stuffed bear resting just above her head. Noah was curled up, his back up against Charlie's side and fast asleep, while Lizzie was snoozing with her face resting on Charlie's arm.

"Well, I'd say they are just fine," Ed whispered, feeling relieved to take in the scene around him. Olivia was at his side, seemingly better than the night before, and his children and grandchild were peacefully sleeping right in front of him. "Ya think she let Noah sleep in here every night?"

"If she did, she did," Olivia sighed. "He loves his sister…and I can't fault him for that. Or her."

"We're damn lucky, Olivia."

"We are."

After a few more minutes of watching the three younger Tuckers sleep, Ed moved them away and closed the door, leading them across the living room and into their master suite. Olivia made a beeline for the bathroom, desperate to shower off the sickness and the flight, and Ed grabbed some fresh pajamas for both of them before joining her.

"Hello there," she said with a tired smirk as she felt her husband come up behind her in their over-sized shower. "You know I love you, but I don't have the energy…"

"I know baby," he said softly, turning her around and cupping her face. "I just wanna be with you. Help you wash off the day, and get you settled in bed, okay?"

"Sounds perfect…"

* * *

"MOMMY!" Noah yelled suddenly as he wandered into the kitchen in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes. It was clear the little boy had forgotten his parents were returning, so as soon as he saw Olivia making herself some tea, wrapped in her purple robe, he took off.

"Hi, sweet boy," she gushed out, catching her son as he jumped into her arms and wrapped his little hands around her neck. "Oh, I missed you…"

"I missed you too, Mommy," he said, settling his head on her shoulder and relishing in the cuddle. "You back from Alaska?"

"Yep," she said, giving him one last squeeze, before setting him down as her body was still feeling quite weak. "Daddy is in the shower, then we will show you pictures and what we got you!"

"Okay," he said. "Charlie be out soon. Lizzie had a stinky diaper."

Olivia let out a laugh and shook her head. As much as she loved her time away with her husband, and as bad as she felt, she couldn't help but be relieved and grateful to be back home, with her family and all of their mundane daily stuff.

"Did you have fun while we were gone?" She asked him, as she got his mug of orange juice ready and helped him settle at the kitchen island.

"Yep," he said, taking a big sip and wiping his mouth with his arm. "We have pizza and watch movies and play games and I sleep wiff Charlie and Lizzie."

"I saw that," Olivia said. "What a special treat."

"Yep," he said. "Trevor here too, but Charlie was still sad, so I make sure she not alone."

Olivia's heart constricted a little at that statement, both at the realization that her daughter was still struggling but also that her small son was that attuned to his sister's feelings. Nothing made her happier, and more emotional, than how close her two children were.

"Trevor still here?" Noah asked, suddenly looking around with a confused face.

"I think he's in the shower," Olivia said, having noticed that the guest shower seemed to be running. "Hopefully the men aren't using up all the hot water…"

"If they do, just send them to time out!"

Olivia laughed and nodded her head, moving around so she could sit next to him and drink her tea. Before she could say anything else, Charlie came out dressed in what appeared to be work attire, with Lizzie clinging tightly to her neck.

"Momma!" she exclaimed, coming over to give her a half hug, given her other arm was occupied with a two-year-old. "Welcome home! How was the trip?"

"Oh it was fantastic," she said, but Charlie eyed her a bit.

"Are you okay?"

"I seemed to have picked up a little bug on the ship," she admitted, rubbing her forehead. Her face was still slightly pale and her eyes were tired, but she wasn't feeling nearly as terrible as she had been.

"Oh, Momma," Charlie gushed, moving to get Lizzie her juice and try to pry her out of her grip and into the high chair.

"No!" the little girl cried. "Mama!"

Charlie, clearly recognizing that her daughter was having a clingy morning, just gave up and plopped them both into the stool next to Olivia's so she could examine her mother a bit closer.

"That stinks you were sick on the trip…"

"Not the whole time, just the last day, really," she said. "And we were at sea, so Dad and I could just relax on the balcony. The flight home was the worst, though."

"Oh gosh, Momma," Charlie said, realizing how miserable it must have been to be stuck on a six-hour flight with a flu-like bug. "You gonna go to the doctor today?"

"It's probably not necessary," she said. "But I think your Daddy is gonna make me…"

"Sounds about right," Charlie said laughing, before reaching out with her free hand and grabbing Olivia's. "I'm so glad you're home."

Olivia squeezed her hand right back and leaned over to kiss her forehead, and then kiss Lizzie's mob of dark brown curls.

"Me too, sweet girl. Me too," she replied, her gaze moving from her daughter to her son as a smile settled across her face. "You wanna fill me in on what's going on?"

Charlie's eyes fell to her lap as she pulled her hand from Olivia's and went to twist her freshly curled hair.

"That's a loaded question," she murmured, before looking up and forcing her emotions down, allowing a smile to grace her features. "Let's get you better first. I'm just fine."

"Sweet girl…" Olivia said, reaching out to pat her leg. "You're a terrible liar, but I'll concede for now. But once I'm back from the doctor with a clean bill of health, you are gonna spill to your Momma."

Charlie just laughed and leaned her head against Lizzie's, rocking her back and forth and looking at her mother with grateful eyes.

"You just concentrate on you right now," Charlie said. "I gotta run into the office for a bit, and I may take Lizzie with me since she's in one of her _'no one touch me but Mommy moods'_. Want me to take Noah too, since it's Saturday?"

"What's Trevor up to?" Olivia asked, confused why Charlie thought she needed to take the kids to the office with her, but she was met with somewhat of a wall.

"He's gotta go into the city," Charlie said, somewhat curtly. "And Lizzie needs to stay put for a bit."

"Okay," Olivia said, shrugging it off. She knew the little girl didn't sleep as well when she spent time in the city, so for the time being, she was happy to just assume that was all there was to this story. "I imagine Ed can handle Noah…and Lizzie too…if you need to be there for more than a few hours?"

"Nah," she said. "It's fine. I'll take this chica with me, and let Dad and Noah catch up. You get to the doctor, and I'll pick up dinner on my way home?"

"Sounds perfect."

Charlie nodded and finished off her coffee, before standing up to kiss Olivia's cheek and ruffle Noah's hair on her way out of the kitchen.

"Love you guys, see you soon," she said, before grabbing her purse and heading out the front door. Olivia followed her with her eyes, as they narrowed with each step her daughter took.

"Something's not right," she murmured, forgetting Noah was next to her.

"What you mean, Mommy?" Noah asked, looking up at her with wide, curious eyes. Olivia just smiled and pulled him in for a cuddle.

"Oh, nothing," she said, kissing his head and pushing her worries down for the moment. "Momma's just being silly. Why don't you go knock on the bathroom door and tell Daddy not to use all the hot water."

Noah hopped down and took off towards the master suite, yelling for Ed to get out of the shower, as Olivia just smiled from her place at the kitchen island. She shook her head a bit before standing up and immediately regretting it. As the room began to spin, she gripped the counter and took some deep breaths.

"Damn flu," she said, staying still for a few minutes until the dizzy spell had passed, then made her own way back to the bedroom to find her phone and make an appointment.

* * *

 ** _It is definitely flu season, huh?_**

 ** _Review please!_**


	17. Chapter 17

**_A/N: One of the things I love about continuing to write this story is that there are so many layers to explore. So many things we can write and read about - from the mundane, domestic details...to the challenges that present themselves to our beloved family. Each chapter will not always be 100% Tuckson, but it WILL always be 100% Tuckson and Family. That being said, I realize this story has been mostly centered on Trevlie (with Alaskan Tuckson sex thrown in the middle), however that will be changing shortly. And no, Olivia is not pregnant._**

 ** _#Tuckson_**

* * *

"Hey, how'd it go?" Ed asked as Olivia entered the house later that afternoon and collapsed on the couch, closing her eyes a bit. Noah and Ed were racing cars on a track they had set up on the living room floor. Ed finished his race, and ruffled Noah's hair as he stood up and made his way over to sit next to Olivia. As Noah resumed his playing, Ed reached out and tucked his wife's hair behind her ear and examined her face. "Liv?"

"I have the flu," she said, eyes still closed, but her body leaning into her husband. "Gave me a script and told me to drink lots of water and rest. Then got onto me about how long it's been since I've had a physical."

"How long has it been?" Ed asked, moving his arm round his wife and settling her against his chest, kissing at her hair.

"Over a year," she admitted softly. "Ever since I retired, it's harder to keep up with these things…the NYPD used to just tell me when to go."

Ed let out a chuckle and squeezed her a bit tighter.

"Tell me about it," he said. "When's the appointment?"

"Tuesday morning," she said. "At least it's morning so I can immediately go for coffee afterwards."

"Dr. Simons knows what is good for her…and for me," Ed said teasingly. It was no secret that Olivia needed at least one, strong cup of coffee every morning before she was fully able to function. So every time she had an appointment that forbid her to eat or drink anything other than water, it was hell until she finally got to the nearest Starbucks. "So, how long until you're cured, Lieutenant?"

"Rest and fluids for a few more days," she replied. "But I'm already on the mend. I feel better. Have energy. So…."

"Uh uh," Ed said, shutting down her thinking immediately. "You will rest, today and tomorrow. I will take care of things here. And then on Monday, well, you can go back to saving the world."

Olivia just looked up at him with tired eyes, but a knowing smirk.

"You like ordering me around, huh?" She said, her voice still raspy from sickness, but she did her best to muster up a sexy tone.

"On occasion," Ed said, giving into her attempt to tease him, but then his face crinkled into a smile. "Your sexy voice isn't quite the same when you're sick, baby…"

"Yeah, but you still want me Captain…" she whispered, aware of Noah playing and humming happily a few feet away. Olivia knew she'd be asleep within the hour, but couldn't resist just a little bit more flirtation before she collapsed.

"Always."

* * *

A few hours later, Charlie nearly fell through the front door, causing Ed to come in from the kitchen and grab things from her. Lizzie was out cold on her shoulder, and she seemed to be overloaded with her work parcel and several shopping bags.

"Thanks, Dad," she whispered, getting her footing and checking to make sure her daughter was still asleep. "Lemme put her down, and I'll come back for these."

"No problem," Ed said, grabbing the bags and bringing them into the kitchen, placing them on top of the island and putting on a fresh pot of coffee. Olivia was asleep on the couch and Noah had gone to the neighbor's for a play date, so now that Charlie was home, he was hoping to get caught up on the last ten days.

A few minutes later, Charlie had returned after changing into lounge clothes and pulling her hair back into a messy ponytail, a few loose strands framing her face. She immediately went for the coffee pot, gushing her thanks to Ed for being on top of that, and fixed them both a cup, before joining him at the table that sat in the window of the kitchen area.

"How was work?" He asked, taking a sip and leaning back in the chair, fully relaxing now that every member of his family was home, somewhat healthy, and within his grasp.

"Eh," she said. "The climate is tense for women right now. Trying to dig up some super positive sports stories to highlight…it's a task…"

"I can't imagine. But if anyone can do it, you can."

"Well, it would be easier if my two-year-old would let go of me for half a second," she said with a little laugh, shaking her head and letting out a sigh.

"What's going on?" Ed asked, getting straight to the point.

"Can't hide anything from you, can I?"

"20+ years in the NYPD, interrogating people…cops included? No. No you can't."

"Touché," she responded, holding her mug up for a fake toast and raising her eyebrow, before taking a long sip and placing the mug back down, clearly ready to talk. "Where's Momma?"

"Napping on the couch," he said. "Wanna wait for her to do this?"

"No, it's…."

"You don't have to wait," Olivia said, suddenly appearing in the kitchen, stretching her sore and tired muscles. "I'm here. I'm awake. And if you give me a few minutes to make tea, I wanna hear all of this…"

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Charlie asked, smiling a bit and knowing she was just baiting her mother. It worked.

"I rested for an hour. And tea is fluid. So there," she replied with her usual sassy tone. Bobbing the tea bag around in her beige, oversized mug, Olivia made her way around the island and situated herself in the seat next to Charlie, before leaning forward with her elbows on the table. "Spill it, sister."

Charlie took a deep breath, glanced at both of her parents who were clearly scrutinizing her facial expression, and just decided to go for it.

"Tessa knew Trevor was alive this entire time."

"What?" Ed bellowed out, before remembering Lizzie was asleep and quieting down a bit. "What?" he whispered, again, as his eyes scrunched up in confusion. Olivia was just sitting still, watching the words begin to tumble out of Charlie's mouth.

"Apparently one of Trevor's agents decided to go rogue and allowed him to contact Tessa. Not me. Not either of you. Tessa," she said, her voice betraying the hurt she felt even though she knew that Trevor did not purposely do this to hurt her. "She found out a couple months after the services we held. She didn't get to see him, but she got to talk to him every now and then. And eventually decided to leave the country, just so it was harder for her to let it slip up."

"Wow…" Olivia breathed out, her body falling back into the chair as she shook her head in disbelief. "How did that agent not get in trouble for that? I mean…that's…well, there's a lot wrong with that."

"He did," Charlie allowed. "Sounds like he was fired pretty recently, once they discovered Tessa had known."

Ed was sitting silently for the time being, watching every move and glance his daughter made, and his face was contorted with concern. She was calm, almost too calm. Her hands weren't shaking and her eyes seemed steady, but distant. It was her voice, however, that instilled a bit of fear in him. Her voice was hollow. Void of any real emotion around the subject matter. She didn't sound hurt. She didn't sound mad. She didn't sound relieved or happy. She sounded, well, empty.

Olivia, ever the compassionate detective and mother, reached out and patted Charlie's arm before she spoke.

"Tell me what you are feeling right now, about this," she asked softly, her eyes darting to Ed for a brief moment, knowing he was likely upset and signaling they needed to follow their daughter's lead on this.

"Honestly," she began, biting her bottom lip and looking up at the ceiling. "I don't even know where to begin. I'm…angry, hurt, confused…all of it. But, it's too much right now."

"I get that," Ed allowed, also reaching out and placing his hands on theirs. "I get that."

"I had ultimately decided I was just going to let it go," she said honestly. "But then, well, he invited her here for dinner one night and I could barely look at her. I'm better than that. I know it's not her fault, or really his. But I just…couldn't…."

"Don't put yourself down," Ed said immediately, not allowing his daughter to put any of this blame on herself. "You've handled all of this…with amazing strength and grace. You are allowed to feel negatively right now."

"Am I?" She asked. "Because Trevor didn't ask for this either. But, I keep pulling away. He tries to help, but it feels like he's smothering me. And then, I do a total one-eighty and I can barely stand being away from him. It's fucking confusing."

Olivia let out a little laugh, knowing none of this was funny, but once again Charlie proved her ability to take even the heaviest of subjects and lighten the mood somewhat. It was a learned defense mechanism, and Olivia knew it all too well, but it was a healthy one. It was a move that signaled she still wanted to talk, but needed it to lighten up briefly.

"As cliché as this sounds, I think all of that is normal," Olivia said softly. "Though, that isn't what you want to hear."

"I don't know what I want to hear anymore…"

"Have you talked this out with Trevor?" Ed asked, wanting to know where everyone stood right then. Charlie just shook her head.

"No, not really," she said. "I've been avoiding it really well."

"That's my girl," Olivia said with a hint of sarcasm, as she rolled her eyes. Ed just let out a chuckle and shook his head.

"Like mother, like daughter," he said, eyeing his wife as they shared a brief moment thinking about all the times she would avoid issues with him, and how hard they both had to work to break those walls down and get to where they were in that moment.

"Can I give you some advice?" Olivia asked, after shaking herself out of her own moment and realizing she needed to guide Charlie down the same path she went down herself.

"Please…"

"Stop avoiding this," she said firmly, squeezing her hand and looking her straight in the eyes. "Go to him. Make yourself tell him how you feel. Allow yourself to express your pain, your emotion, to him."

"But…"

"No buts," Olivia said softly, adjusting her head so they kept eye contact. "I know it's a risk, but Trevor…he's proven himself to you. Over and over. A lot like your Daddy did with me. And it was hard as hell for me to let him in, but…I am so eternally grateful that I did."

Charlie looked up at Olivia, her eyes a bit watery, and then looked to Ed. She knew her parents had gone through rough patches. They both had been hurt, and were guarded. And she also knew how hard her dad had worked to finally be with Olivia. Maybe that was the missing piece to all of this, she thought. She needed to know that her parents were back and that they were with her. It was as if they were the only ones providing enough solid ground for her to really accept that Trevor was back. So as she sat there, between the two strongest and best people she had ever known, she took a deep breath and squeezed their hands right back.

"Okay," she said softly. "Okay…whatever you say Momma…"

"Good," Olivia said with a smile. "Now get yourself into the city and be with him…just talk to him, Charlie."

"I…um, well…."

"We'll keep Lizzie here," Ed said. "Just let us know if you are coming back tonight or tomorrow, okay?"

"Thank you," she gushed, standing up and hugging both of her parents, before taking off towards her room to put together an overnight bag, just in case. "Thank you, thank you…."

* * *

"Papa…" the small two-year-old called from her crib, as Ed entered her room and turned on the lights. Charlie had been gone for about an hour, and Ed was eagerly awaiting the child's cries. After ten days with his wife, as great as they were, he was ready to resume grandpa duty. He scrunched his fingers up in front of Lizzie as she laid in the crib and babbled, before tickling her belly and eliciting shrieks and giggles. "Up, Papa, Up," she exclaimed between her laughter and Ed eventually complied, lifting her out of the crib, blowing a raspberry on her belly, then settling her on his shoulder.

Lizzie wrapped her arms around his neck and nestled her face in his neck.

"My Papa…"

"That's right," he said, turning around and exiting the room, grabbing a clean diaper along the way. "I am definitely your Papa…"

As he returned to the living room and situated the tyke on the floor so he could clean her up, Olivia came in with the phone in her hand.

"I'm gonna run get Noah," she said. "Anything in particular you want for dinner?"

"You aren't supposed to be running around, Olivia," Ed said, not even bothering to turn around because he knew he would be getting an exasperated glare.

"Ed…"

"Why don't you run get Noah, and Lizzie and I will take care of dinner," he said, before poking the girl's belly and causing her to giggle again. "Won't we, Lizzie bug? You and Papa gonna make dinner?"

"Papa," she cooed. "Dinner."

"See?" Ed said, finally turning around and seeing Olivia was just grinning at the sight. "What?"

"I just love watching you with her…" she said. "I love our life…"

"Me too baby," he said. "And you can love it even more when you get Noah, and come back and rest."

"Fine," she said, throwing her hands up in the air and conceding. "I'll be back…"

As the door clicked behind Olivia, Ed stood Lizzie up and took her hand as they slowly made their way into the kitchen.

"Your Ollie," he said, with a smile and shake of his head. "She's somethin' else, huh."

"Som-tin?" Lizzie repeated, looking up at Ed with wide, curious eyes, as if she was trying to understand every word he spoke to her. Ed plucked her up and sat her on the counter, as he searched through the cabinets for dinner ideas.

"Yep," he said. "We hit the jackpot with your Ollie, Lizzie bug. The jackpot."

* * *

"I know I hurt you," Trevor said, as he and Charlie sat side by side on the sofa back in their Manhattan apartment. "And…I wish I could say I'd take it back, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't change this. I would do anything to keep you safe. To keep Lizzie safe…"

"But why Tessa?" She asked, her voice a little strained as she tried to hold in her emotions and just talk this out, no matter how hard it may be to hear.

"I…." he began, before moving to grasp both of her hands and kiss them. He then looked her straight into the eyes and began to speak. "I love you. I love you more than anything. But I knew you were okay. I knew you had your parents. And Noah. And Rollins. And…Olivia's entire squad. Tessa didn't. Once I was sure you were safe…I couldn't help but reach out to Tessa."

"I understand," Charlie said quietly, keeping eye contact, but her voice was still void of most emotion.

"Do you?" Trevor asked, his eyes searching hers. Charlie just nodded.

"I get it," she said. "I really do. But…that doesn't mean my pain is any less."

"I know…"

"I'm trying," she said, her voice cracking. Standing up, Charlie made her way over to the large window and looked out over the city lights, wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm trying…so damn hard…to just move on with you. To let it all go. To be nothing but grateful that you are home, and alive, and with me…but…it's hard…."

Trevor heard her voice break and was up in a flash, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around hers.

"I know," he whispered, kissing her head and holding her as tightly as he could. Their height difference allowed for the back of Charlie's head to hit right at his chest, and it made him feel even more protective of her. As if he could literally protect all of her, at any time, if she would let him. They stayed like that for a bit, Charlie sniffling a bit and regaining her composure, before she turned around in his arms and looked up at him. Her eyes were wide and teary, but they seemed clear. At least to Trevor. So he cupped her face and ran his thumbs along her cheek bones.

"I'm just struggling, Trev," she said softly, soaking up their closeness. "But I'm gonna keep trying…"

"That's all I can ask," he said, before moving down and capturing her lips with his. The kiss started out soft, as he traced her bottom lip with his tongue, before deepening it and pulling her impossibly close to him.

Charlie moved to grasp his t-shirt, holding him firmly against her body, as she kissed him back as best she could, given the emotions flowing through her.

After several minutes, Trevor pulled back a bit and noticed a tear was making its way down her cheek. Moving his lips to kiss it away, he began a soft journey of kisses across her face, jaw and neck.

"It's okay, Charlotte," he whispered between kisses. "I'm right here. Let me help you let go…to forget…just let me love you…"

"Trevor…" she whimpered, still not sure she was ready but his mouth was doing amazing things to her body and it had been a while. If he wanted to help her forget, then maybe she should let him.

Ignoring the emotions swirling still in the back of her mind, Charlie surrendered herself to him, allowing him to move her back towards their bedroom, as his hands made their way up the front of her shirt and swiftly removing it from her body.

"I love you, baby," he said, as he settled her on the bed and crawled over her, removing his own shirt along the way. "I love you so much…"

"I love you too," she said, her voice soft and shaky, but he still heard her and it made him smile.

"It's okay," he said, as he descended upon her body in his quest to make her forget all of the bad, all of the pain. As he kissed his way across her chest, Charlie opened her eyes and stared straight at the ceiling, willing herself to just feel him, as he kept whispering to her. "Just relax…it's okay…I love you…"

* * *

 ** _Well? Lots of layers and I'm curious what you all think._**

 ** _Review, please and thank you._**


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: To clear some things up that seem to have confused a few of you: Both Ed and Olivia are retired. Ed retired in the first story of this series. Olivia not too long after. They independently made their own decision, and are now happily focusing on their family. This is an AU story. It exists on an entirely different plane than what is happening on the actual show now. If that is not your cup of tea, I totally understand because there are several who feel that way. If it is, I highly suggest going back and reading the other stories so this one makes more sense.**_

 _ **Now. On with the update. Y'all should know by now never to get too comfortable in my stories. As usual, just gotta trust me.**_

 _ **#Tuckson #Always #IPromise**_

* * *

"That feels so good…" Charlie said softly, as Trevor sucked at her neck and squeezed at her breasts. He had been focusing intensely on foreplay for the last thirty minutes and normally it would drive Charlie crazy, but in the moment it was perfect. He could read her mind and her body, and clearly could tell she needed time to relax and get into the right head space. They had long ago lost all of their clothes, but Trevor insisted on kissing and licking almost every inch of her body, and he was still going. Charlie's head was thrown back, eyes closed, bottom lip in her teeth, and her hands tugged at his hair in encouragement.

"Baby…" she moaned out, as he released her nipple with a pop and moved above her, finally settling between her legs, and brushing her somewhat sweaty hair out of her face.

"You okay?" He asked, his blue eyes searching hers for any sign that she didn't want this. He had sensed her hesitation earlier and before they went any further, he needed to make sure she was one hundred percent in this.

Charlie stared up at him, losing herself in his loving glance, and finally nodded as the tears bubbled up.

"I've never been more sure of anything, Trevor," she whispered, watching his own eyes get a little teary. "I want you. I want to be with you. I love you."

"Oh, Charlotte," he gushed out, ducking down to capture her lips with his own, still speaking to her as he tried to devour her. "I love you too. So much. I'm right here…"

"Make love to me, Trevor," she whimpered out. "Please…"

"Anything you want, baby."

* * *

An hour later, the couple was collapsed on the bed. Their breathing had returned to normal and Charlie was curled up, her back to Trevor's chest as he held her protectively and rested his chin on the top of her head. Charlie's arms held onto his tightly, resting against her stomach, and her eyes were wide open as she stared into the dark bedroom.

"You okay?" He asked gently, kissing the top of her head and trying to pull her even closer to him.

"Yeah," she croaked out, her voice betraying the tears that were silently streaming down her face. Alarmed, Trevor immediately turned her around so they were facing each other and moved his hands to dry her tears, lips kissing her forehead.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, terrified that he had somehow hurt her, or she was regretting the amazing reunion they just shared. But his fears were immediately put at ease.

"I'm just so glad you're with me right now," she said, as the tears streamed harder. She could no longer hold them in, and she didn't want to. "Being with you, just now, it was so good. So right. You are so good to me."

Trevor adjusted himself so he was laying on his back and pulled Charlie so she was resting on top of him, her cheek nestled against his strong chest. One of his hands played with her hair and kept working to dry her tears, while the other held her against him, fingers lightly running along her lower back. She had one hand clinched against her own chest, as she fought her emotion, but the other was clinging to Trevor's neck. And he was relishing in that feeling.

"I just love you," he replied simply, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

"I know," she said. "I love you, too. And I guess I've just been holding in all these emotions for so long, but then…when you made love to me just now…well, I just can't hold it in any longer." Her voice broke at the end of that statement as her cries became harsher and deeper.

"Oh, baby," Trevor gushed, both pained at her own pain but also relieved that she was finally allowing him to experience this with her. "It's okay. I promise it's okay. You have all the time in the world, okay? I'm not going anywhere. Just…let me in. Let me be here. Let me help you."

"I want you here," she cried. "I do. I'm sorry I've been so…well…distant…"

"Hey, it's okay Charlie," he reassured her. "This is all hard and confusing, and you've been…so much more gracious than I expected…"

"Please don't leave me again…even if I'm a bitch…"

"You have not been, nor will ever be, a bitch. And I promise you, that I am not leaving you again. I'm here. We are together, even in the hard times. Even when you are angry and hurt. I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

A couple days later found Ed, Charlie, and Noah all perched at the kitchen island sipping coffee and orange juice and reading the paper. Olivia was a flurry of movement, insisting she wanted to spend the morning with Lizzie, so she had her in the master bathroom and on a stool, both of them primping and doing their hair.

Charlie, grateful for the reprieve before work, took the opportunity to rib Ed about his insistence on going to Olivia's physical with her.

"You are so attached for her," she said playfully, batting her eyes and watching his reaction as she picked on him. "It's adorable."

"Stop it," he said. "I'm not that crazy. It just makes more sense for me to go, then take her to brunch in East Hampton, rather than her drive all the way back here, just to turn around."

"Uh huh. Sure," Charlie said, going back to the sports section and pretending to read. "I'm sure that's it."

Ed just rolled his eyes and looked over at his daughter. Ever since they had sent her to talk to Trevor, her entire body language had shifted. She was more relaxed, more herself. She still was a bit distant, especially in her eyes, but there was more color to her face. And she was clearly more comfortable with Trevor being back. In fact, they had worked out that Trevor would spend Sunday-Wednesday in their Manhattan apartment, so he could catch up with his law firm and try to get back into his daily life. Then he would spend the rest of his time out in Sag Harbor, keeping Lizzie while Charlie worked and helping everyone get reacquainted with their new reality.

Charlie didn't want to move permanently back into Manhattan, and Trevor knew that, so for right now this was the perfect solution. In Ed's mind, if Charlie was okay with it, he would be too. As everyone kept repeating over the last few months, _"slow and steady wins the race",_ and he firmly believed that.

"Okay, ready babe?" Olivia asked, breezing into the kitchen with Lizzie on her hip. They both had their hair pulled half back in a clip, with curls framing their faces and matching workout suits on. Olivia's was a deep purple and Lizzie's was a bright pink. As Charlie studied them both, her smile just got bigger. She loved watching her Momma with her daughter.

"Did you put lip gloss on her?" She asked, a teasing smile still gracing her face. Olivia turned with a look of innocence.

"Maybe…but she likes it, dontcha Lizzie-Bug?"

"Look, Mama!" Lizzie said, pointing to her lips. "Ip-Goss! Like Ollie!"

"I just love you two," Charlie said, shaking her head and standing up to grab Lizzie from Olivia so she could get ready to go. "Y'all better get going…want me to drop Noah at school on my way to the office?"

"Sure," Olivia said. "You sure you are okay bringing Lizzie to work again? Your father does not have to come with me…"

As she spoke the words, she looked pointedly at her husband with a fake annoyance. She knew he only wanted to come so he could make sure everything was fine, but was doing it under the disguise of brunch. Ed just smiled and shrugged at her, sipping his coffee leaving her to only be able to see the crinkle in his bright blue orbs.

"She's fine," Charlie said. "The other writers love when I bring her in. She gets spoiled rotten. But you better let me know once you get the clean bill of health…"

"Deal, baby girl," Olivia said, leaning in to hug Charlie and kiss her head, before kissing Lizzie's cheeks. "Okay Ed, let's go. Noah, don't forget your lunch! It's on the table…"

"Okay, Mommy," he said, still absorbed in the cartoon section of the paper. Olivia rolled her eyes, kissed his head, and grabbed Ed's hand as they made their way out the front door. Once they were gone, Charlie checked the time and went over to sit next to Noah, Lizzie on her lap.

"A few more minutes, pal, then we gotta go."

"Okay, Charlie," he said. "Just gotta finish this one cartoon…it a funny one…see?"

Charlie leaned over and read the strip, pushing down the familiar, but surprising, sense of dread that was beginning to bubble up in her gut.

* * *

Ed and Olivia sat side by side in the waiting room of Dr. Simons' office. Olivia's leg was bouncing up and down while she pretended to read a magazine, and Ed was fiddling with his phone as he went back and forth with an old buddy from IAB who was seeking his counsel on a particularly rough case. His hand would occasionally reach out and rub the back of his wife's neck, hoping to soothe whatever anxiety she seemed to be experiencing. Finally, he put his phone down and looked over at her.

"Why so nervous?" he asked, eyeing her and trying to figure out if she knew something he didn't.

"I wish I knew," she said with a little laugh and shake of her head. "For some reason as soon as we walked in the door, I got this feeling…"

"It's probably because you haven't been to the doctor in a while. You know they are going to tell you all about things like menopause or vitamins, and you don't wanna hear it," he said, gently but in a teasing tone. Olivia just looked up at him and smiled.

"You're probably right," she said. "Sorry I gave you hard time about tagging along. It's nice to have you next to me."

"I'll always be next you, Liv."

"Mrs. Tucker?" A lady in a white coat and a chart came to the door, causing Olivia to jump and then stand up, handing Ed her coat.

"I'll be out in a bit," she said, leaning down for a quick kiss.

"I'll be waiting."

* * *

"Olivia, when's the last time you had a mammogram?" Dr. Simons asked, as she rolled her stool over to the exam table once everything was finished. She took her glasses off and leaned forward, eyeing the older woman who was now sitting up on the table.

"Not that long ago, actually," she said, doing some math in her head. "Probably right at a year. I'm sure you were getting ready to give me that friendly reminder, huh."

"Well, I only ask before I felt a little something when I was doing your breast exam," the doctor said slowly, causing Olivia's heart to drop and her eyes to snap up and widen. "Don't be alarmed, Olivia…this happens a lot. But, I would like to go ahead and get that mammogram done if you don't mind? Just out of an abundance of caution."

"Okay…" Olivia said, her voice a little shaky but she was calming down from the initial revelation of an abnormal breast exam. "I can schedule one today."

"They have an opening right now, upstairs," Dr. Simons said, punching keys in her computer all of a sudden. "If you have an extra hour, we could get it out of the way and hopefully clear this all up?"

"Sure," Olivia said with a nod, suddenly wanting to be near her husband. "Let's do it."

* * *

Ed had joined Olivia in Dr. Simons' office about an hour later, and he had not let go of her hand since. As soon as she said she was going for a mammogram, his heart had dropped a bit. She seemed nervous, but calm, so he let it go and gave her a reassuring kiss before she headed for the elevator. But now that they were both sitting in the doctor's office, waiting for her to arrive, his anxiety had reached a new level.

"Did the technician say anything?" he asked, watching his wife as she chewed her bottom lip and bounced her leg up and down as they waited.

"No," she said softly, looking up at him, her eyes swimming with fear and uncertainty. "She just said that she would pass the scans along and for me to wait down here and bring you with me if I wanted."

"Okay…" Ed said, preparing to ask another question when the door flew open and Dr. Simons came in carrying a large manila folder, presumably with the preliminary scans inside. She went around and sat down at her desk, keying a few things on her computer, before looking at the couple in front of her and folding her hands on her desk.

"Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker, I know you are a little anxious," she said. "But we found an abnormality during Olivia's breast exam, so I sent her up for a mammogram since we had the space. I've got the scans here, and if you will look…" she spoke as she took one of the sheets and placed it on the wall under a little light. "You will see that there is, in fact, a mass on her right breast."

"Oh god…" Olivia whispered, her hand squeezing Ed's as she reacted. Ed swallowed hard, before reaching out and squeezing her hand back.

"A mass?" Ed repeated, sitting up straight and a look of confusion over his face.

"Correct," Dr. Simons said, well-versed in the reactions of her patients when she delivered news like this. "I felt a little something during her breast exam earlier, and wanted to go ahead and get it looked at."

"No offense or anything, but I examine her breasts daily, and I haven't felt anything lumpy…"

"Ed!" Olivia exclaimed, looking at him and trying to hold in a laugh, but she couldn't help it. She'd never seem him nervous enough to say anything like that, and while she was nervous as well, she had to laugh at him. Luckily, Dr. Simons had a sense of humor about it and shared in their nervous laughter.

"Captain Tucker," she said, eyeing him in amusement. "In my long tenure of delivering news like this, your reaction has got to be a first for me…"

After a few moments, the trio settled down, Ed looking at both women a little sheepishly, his face red from his outburst. Dr. Simons cleared her throat signaling that she was about to continue with the next steps.

"It could be nothing," she said, sitting on the edge of her desk in front of the couple and taking her glasses off. "But it could be something. I'd like to get a biopsy so we can see what we are dealing with here."

Ed reached back over and grabbed Olivia's hand in both of us, bringing it up to kiss her knuckles and reassure her as they processed what was being said. The doctor allowed them some time for the information to sink in, before leaning forward with a soft glance.

"Olivia, like I said before, there is a chance this is nothing, okay?" She said. "I know that doesn't reassure you all that much right now, but try not to stress yourself out until we know what we are dealing with."

"Okay," she said in a whisper, taking her free hand and swiping under her left eye to take care of a rogue tear. Ed, who was still incredibly tense given the news he was just given, cleared his throat a bit.

"Dr. Simons, when can we get the biopsy? And what are the possibilities here?"

"Well, I've already got her scheduled to come in Friday morning for the biopsy. It will be a quick procedure; you can go home basically right after. Once that is done, we'll have the results back with a week and we can go from there. As far as possibilities, it could be anything. It could just be tissue build up, it could be a non-cancerous mass, or it could be a cancerous mass."

Olivia let out a slow, long breath as she took in the words 'cancerous mass'. Ed's hands were now gripping her own so tightly she was losing feeling, but she didn't care. She needed him in that moment.

"Percentages?" Ed asked, needing something concrete to deal with. He didn't do well with this abstract stuff.

"I'm afraid I don't have any for you," Dr. Simons said. "But, no need to expect the worst okay? Let's just get the biopsy done and go from there."

"Okay," Olivia said, looking up at the doctor and forcing a smile on her face. "What do I need to do to prepare for the biopsy?"

The doctor hopped up and made her way around the desk, grabbing a few pamphlets and handing them to the couple. As Olivia browsed through them, Ed continued to take some deep breaths and did not let go of her hand. In fact, he was sure Olivia even asked a few questions at that point, but he was no longer listening. His mind had checked out and gone to worst case scenarios.

"Ed!" He finally heard, and shook himself out of his trance, only to notice that Olivia was looking at him with concern. "Did you hear any of that?"

"Uh, no" he admitted, taking one hand and rubbing his face and neck. "Sorry…"

"It's okay, Captain Tucker," Dr. Simons said. "I know this is a lot to take in. We'll need Olivia here by 6am on Friday morning. You'll need to come with her, as we cannot release her on her own."

"Of course," he said, as if that was the dumbest statement he had ever heard. "She's not doing any of this on her own, Doc."

"Good to hear," she responded with a smile. "But as far as the next few days, go home. Relax, as best you can given this new bit of information. Spend time with your family. And we'll see you on Friday, okay?"

Olivia nodded and stood to shake the doctor's hand, Ed following her moves then the wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his side, kissing her head as they left the office. As they neared the car, he made sure to walk her to her door and open it for her, before pulling her into his chest and holding her tightly. Burying his face in her hair, he took some deep breaths and inhaled her scent.

"I love you, baby," he said, noticing her body was shaking a bit from the shock of the appointment. "I'm right here."

"I love you too," she said, her voice soft but surprisingly steady. "It's gonna be okay, right?"

Ed pulled back slightly, keeping his arms around her, but allowing himself to look into her worried brown eyes. Kissing her forehead, her nose, both cheeks, and then her lips, he finally pulled back and spoke.

"It will," he insisted. "And I'm gonna be right here, every step of the way."

* * *

 ** _Well? Review?_**


	19. Chapter 19

**_#Tuckson_**

* * *

Ed's hands were gripping tightly to the steering wheel of his truck as they made the half hour trip back home after what turned out to be a long morning. Olivia was sitting still, back straight against the seat, as she looked ahead. The only movement visible to Ed, when he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, was when she blinked or took a deep breath. Continuing to keep a close eye on the road, he pried one of his hands off of the steering wheel and reached over to take his wife's hand. She squeezed back tightly, indicating she was still in the present moment, but her head did not move.

They had kept their original plans and stopped for a quick brunch at a favorite café on Main Street in East Hampton. The meal had been comfortable, but quiet, as both Ed and Olivia worked to digest the sudden revelation of the morning. Ed's jaw was set tensely, as he focused his nerves and energy on making sure Olivia had everything she needed, from butter for her toast to a hand to hold. Olivia, on the other hand, seemed to have resorted to her former defense mechanism of shutting down.

As Ed slowed to a stop as they came to the first intersection in Sag Harbor, he turned his head over to Olivia and gazed at her profile.

"I love you," he said, squeezing her hand and speaking the first words since they had gotten in the cab of the truck. He felt her squeeze back in response, before turning her own head towards him, though it still rested on the headrest of the seat.

"I love you too," she whispered, her eyes searching his as her mouth curved into a small, but noticeable, smile.

Ed opened his mouth to say something, but a car horn snapped his attention back to the road and he noticed that the light was green. Slowly accelerating, he pulled Olivia's hand over to his mouth and kissed at it, before resting it on his thigh.

"Want me to call Charlie and let her know what's up?" Ed offered, turning onto their street and slowing down, almost afraid that once they were out of the car Olivia would dive even further into herself.

"No," she replied softly. "I shot her a text, told her everything went okay and they are just running a few tests. We can tell her more when she gets home."

As he pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine, he turned his full body to face Olivia and ran his eyes over every inch of her body. He shifted her hand so his left was squeezing it, and his right hand reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear, allowing her to let out a soft sigh and rest her cheek in his palm.

"I'm here, ya know," he said. "Not going anywhere. You've got all of us."

"I know," she said, her voice barely a whisper but her eyes were clear. "The house is quiet, and we have several hours before we need to face this with Charlie. Care to distract me, Captain?"

"Oh hell yes," Ed growled, hopping out of the driver's seat and briskly walking around to open the door and swoop his wife into his arms. Olivia threw her head back in laughter, as her husband carried her bridal style into their home and slammed the door closed with his foot.

"You're crazy," she said.

"Only about you."

* * *

"Biopsy? Lump?" Charlie repeated, sitting on the couch next to Olivia, who was leaning back on Ed's chest and relaying the morning's appointment to her grown daughter.

"Yep," she replied, voice clear and strong. After her husband had tenderly, and meticulously, made love to her for over an hour, they hopped in the shower and proceeded to talk about what was coming up. Ed reassured Olivia, while rinsing shampoo out of her long, dark locks, that he was right there with her and that everything was going to be okay. Obviously, they were both still concerned, but after a few good orgasms, Olivia had relaxed enough to continue on with their day and talk to Charlie.

"There's a good chance that it's nothing," Olivia said, reaching out to pat the young woman's leg in an effort to comfort her a bit. "But even if it is, it's likely early and very treatable. So, let's not go worst case right now okay?"

Charlie just sat still and eyed Olivia, her blue eyes a little fearful, but more curious and reading into her parents' body language. They seemed relaxed, and relatively at peace, so she took that as a good sign and joined them.

"Okay," she said, nodding her head slowly. "Biopsy is Friday? Dad going with you?"

"I am," he said firmly.

"Great," she said, pulling out her phone and firing off an email. "I'll take that day off, stay here with Lizzie, and make sure Noah gets to and from school. That way you don't have to worry about anything, okay?"

Ed just smiled as he watched his daughter jump into action and not have what he had anticipated as an emotional reaction. In fact, though Olivia had a bit more faith in Charlie's reaction, Ed had predicted somewhat of a meltdown to the initial news, and was glad to have been proven wrong.

Now Olivia, however, was not quite convinced.

"Charlie, you sure you're okay?" she asked, moving forward a bit and ducking her head to try and make eye contact. Charlie looked up and offered her mother a smile and a nod, before leaning forward and engulfing her in a tight hug.

"I'm fine, Momma," she said. "I love you. And I'm right here. Not going anywhere."

"Good," Olivia said, returning the hug and kissing her daughter on the side of her head. "Me neither."

* * *

The next few days passed relatively quickly, and without much activity. Noah was blissfully unaware of the turmoil his mother was experiencing, and he continued to provide much needed light and laughter to the Tucker family. The evening before Olivia's biopsy was no exception as the five Tuckers, plus Trevor, sat out on the back deck and watched Noah and Lizzie run around the yard.

"Unc!" Lizzie would yell between her fits of giggling and moments when she would topple over, as Noah just ran in circles. Each of them had a small water gun, but Lizzie couldn't quite get hers to work, so she spent all of her energy avoiding the stream from Noah's lime green accomplice.

"Gotcha, Lizzie!" He yelled, after hitting her square in the belly with his stream. Lizzie just laughed and sat down on the ground, apparently giving up. "You okay?"

Lizzie just nodded as her uncle came and sat down next to her, making sure she was still having fun during their game. As the two kids sat in the middle of the grass and caught their breath, the adults started going over the game plan for the next day.

"How long do they think you'll be there?" Charlie asked, fidgeting with her fingers in nervous anticipation. She had done well to hide any anxiety from her parents, but Trevor was another story. The night after Olivia had told her about the mass, Trevor returned to Sag Harbor and as they crawled into bed, Charlie confided in him that she was nervous. He listened, offered a few words of advice, then abided her request to distract her.

Ed and Olivia were essentially doing the same thing. They'd get through the day, talk a bit in bed, then work to distract each other from the possibility of bad news. Now that the biopsy day was upon them, all four adults were hard-pressed to hide their anxiety from each other.

"The actual procedure is quick," Olivia answered softly. "I only need a local anesthetic, so I won't be asleep or anything. Should be home by lunchtime."

Ed squeezed Olivia's hand in the under the table, as he listened to her calmly explain the procedure.

"We still haven't told Noah anything," he intervened, eyeing Charlie and making sure she understood to not let the little boy overhear anything in the morning. "When he gets home tomorrow, we will let him know that Olivia had a little procedure and is resting, but everything else can wait."

Everything else.

Those two words lingered uncomfortably around the table, until Trevor cleared his throat and ran his hand along the table.

"You just tell us what you need from us," he said, nodding between him and Charlie. "And we'll do it. We can stay here this weekend, help with Noah. We can stay in the city to give you some peace and quiet. Whatever you want."

"No, stay here please," Olivia said quickly, reaching out and grasping Charlie's hand and holding it tight. "It will be nice to have you all here, at home, where we all belong. Plus, we all know how well I do being away from my Lizzie-bug for too long…"

Charlie smiled warmly, thinking just how much her mother loved her daughter and vice versa. Hopefully Lizzie Tucker, along with Noah, would provide as much light-hearted distraction that weekend as they normally did.

"We will be whatever you need us to be," Charlie said firmly, looking straight into Olivia's warm, brown eyes.

"I love you baby girl," she said softly, leaning over the arm of her chair and hugging her daughter, holding her a bit longer than she would normally, then pulling away and holding her face in her hands. "Everything's gonna be just fine. You'll see."

Charlie just nodded and stood up, grabbing everyone's glass and making her way to the back door.

"I'm gonna grab us all a refill."

As she disappeared, Ed leaned over the table and zeroed in on Trevor.

"She's not okay," he said pointedly, his eyes squinting a bit as they usually did when he was making a point. "I need you to keep an eye on her…"

"Always, sir," Trevor said, nodding and then eyeing Olivia who had her gaze set on her husband.

"Don't smother her," she said, maintaining her stance that while Charlie may be struggling, she didn't need to be monitored. "But yes, an eye is good."

"I think she's doing okay," Trevor said, putting the parents' current worries at ease a bit, despite his own lack of real knowledge about how she was coping. "But I'll stay alert."

"Mommy!" Noah yelled, running up the stairs and leaping into her lap. Olivia did a double take, as she tried to avoid the sweaty-boy smell that wafted past her nose.

"Someone needs a bath tonight," she said, her eyes bright and her smile large as she looked over her son, now happily sipping on a juice Charlie handed him upon her return.

"Shower?"

"Sure," she allowed. "But you have to scrub good, okay?"

"I always wash good," he said, nodding his head. "Gotta be a good washer, or Daddy say I hafta go back to da bath."

The adults shared a little chuckle at Noah's expression when he said the word 'bath'. Insisting he was now a big boy, Noah refused to take baths and Ed's deal with him was that as long as he could clean himself well enough, showers were fine. This was a task that Noah Porter Benson-Tucker took very seriously.

The attention at the table shifted as Trevor stood up and made his way over to where Lizzie was digging in the sandbox. The sun was beginning to set, and mosquitos would be out soon, so the younger parents were hoping to avoid bug bites with the two-year-old.

"Okay, Lizzie-Love," Trevor said in a sing-song voice. "Time to go in…"

"Noooooo!" She wailed, as he plucked her from the sandbox and headed towards the door. "Mamaaaaaaa!"

"You want help, babe?" Charlie asked as Trevor struggled a bit with the reluctant toddler.

"No, you relax," he said as he opened the door. "We'll be back out to say goodnight…."

As they disappeared, Olivia took a deep breath and looked down at Noah's profile as he now rested his smelly body against hers.

"Time for you to get cleaned up as well," she said softly, not quite ready for him to get to bed, but knowing tomorrow would be even harder if they had sleep-deprived children.

"I'll take him in," Ed said, beginning to stand up, but Olivia stopped him.

"No, I want to," she said softly, before standing and carrying Noah inside, making sure to kiss the top of Ed's head as she passed by. "Don't get eaten up out here…"

Suddenly, father and daughter were now alone at the table, and both of them were avoiding facing reality. Ed, likely having a better grip on his emotions at the moment, decided to be the adult and bring up the topic.

"I know you're worried, Charlie," he said pointedly.

"So are you," she said softly, still not looking up from where she was studying the leftover gin and tonic in her glass.

"I am," he allowed. "Very much so. But I can't let that show around your mother right now."

"I know."

"She needs us," he said, his voice breaking at the end and finally causing Charlie to look up at him.

"Oh, Daddy," she gushed, rushing around the table and moving to pull him into a fierce hug. Charlie stood above father, holding him close to her and allowing him to pull some strength from her that she didn't even realize she had. "She does need us," she began, before pulling back and looking into Ed's terrified blue eyes. "She has us. And you have me, when you need to not be the strong one okay? This is going to be okay. If for no other reason, then because it has to be."

* * *

"Do you…have any….idea…how much….I love you…." Ed said to his wife, as he peppered her chest, breasts and torso with kisses later on that night. He would pause every time his lips passed over the side of her breast and pay special attention to the area in which he knew a lump was looming. Each time Olivia felt him pause there, she would let out a specific whimper, one that signaled she knew what he was doing and that it was somehow helping her own fears. Then he would move on, not wanting to stay too long in those dark places while he tried to prove to his wife just how much he loved her.

His message was heard loud and clear.

Olivia sighed, as her one hand clutched his hip and the other raked through his shortly cropped, gray hair.

"I do," she said, pulling his head up and before meeting his lips for a deep kiss, replied. "Because I love you just as much."

Ed positioned his body over hers, pulling the comforter up around their bodies, but never lost contact with her lips. His hands braced himself above her, before finally pulling back and looking into her eyes as he pushed into her body. He heard every breath intake, every soft grunt, and every passionate whimper as he slowly made love to her.

"Ed..."

"Olivia…"

"Don't stop…"

"Right here?"

"Harder…"

Twenty minutes later, Olivia felt her toes curl and her body tense up as Ed moved faster and harder above her. Her back arched and her neck stretched back, allowing him to attached his lips to her throat and suck gently to coax her through an impending release.

"Yesssssssss," she grunted, as her body jerked and she came apart around him, causing him to thrust one more time and pause, as he came to his own much needed release inside of her.

"Baby…" he whispered, eventually collapsing against her and burying his face in her neck, once again peppering it with kisses. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

"I love you too," she said, tears brimming her eyes as she tried to push down the emotion before he got wind of it, but it was impossible to hide anything from Ed Tucker. His face popped up, though still flushed from his orgasm, and he studied her intently.

"Talk to me?"

She just shook her head as the tears began to flow down her cheeks, much to the dismay of Ed. He quickly rolled onto his back and pulled her with him, cradling her body against his as tightly as he could.

"Oh baby," he whispered. "I'm right here. I love you. I'm right here…"

"Sorry," she said a few minutes later, sitting up and reaching for a tissue to blow her nose. "I don't know what came over me…"

"Hey," he said, sitting up next to her and settling them both against the headboard, using his hand to turn her check so she was looking at him. Her eyes were bloodshot, her lips were puffy, and her face was red and splotchy, both from their little tryst and her outburst, but to him she had never been more beautiful. "Don't hide from me. Ever. I'm right here, by your side. I know you're scared. I know you don't want to admit that. But I'm _right here_ , Olivia."

"I know," she said, taking a deep breath and laying her head on his shoulder. "I just hope this is nothing but a scare…"

"Me too, baby," Ed responded, kissing her hair and trying to hold her even tighter. "One step at a time, okay? But know this, Olivia Tucker…"

"Hm?" she inquired, as he paused and she let the phrase _Olivia Tucker_ wash over her. She would never tire of hearing her name fall from his lips.

"Whatever this is? Whatever it turns out to be? Is no match for my love and devotion to you," he said, his eyes never having looked more serious and more determined than in that moment. "There is nothing that life can throw at you that I will not defeat."

"I hope you're right…"

"I know I'm right."

* * *

"Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker," the medical assistant said as she came in with discharge papers. "Results should be back early next week. The doctor will be in touch on Monday to schedule a time for you to come in and discuss. In the meantime, rest for today, but no restrictions otherwise."

"Great," Olivia said, signing her name and standing up with Ed's assistance. "Thank you."

As the couple made their way out of the office, Ed made sure to keep Olivia's hand in his.

"How ya feelin'?" he asked, eyeing her gently as they waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"A little sore," she admitted. "But nothing terrible. I'm actually hungry."

"Whatcha in the mood for?" Ed asked, leading her into the elevator and hitting the button for the hospital's basement parking garage. "We got stuff for grilled cheese at home. Or a salad. Or we can grab something."

"Grilled cheese sounds good," she admitted, leaning against his chest and closing her eyes. "Gonna be a long weekend…"

Ed just sighed and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head.

"Maybe," he said. "But you've got your family right here. You're not alone, Olivia."

"I'm not, am I?" she said, looking up at him and smiling a bit.

"Nope," Ed replied, touching her cheek and kissing her gently. "Never."

* * *

 ** _Review?_**


	20. Chapter 20

_**It is still Tuckson Tuesday in my world, so here ya go. And boy do I need it...**_

* * *

Olivia was laying on her side, eyes open, examining her husband as he slept fitfully next to her. She reached out to touch his face, assuming he was having some kind of dream, and patiently waited for him to come around and wake up.

But, unbeknownst to her, Ed Tucker was experiencing his worst nightmare.

 _Mr. and Mrs. Tucker, the cancer has spread._

Ed's body tensed as his head instinctively turned towards his wife in the bed, and she reached out to put her hand on his chest, noticing his face looked pained and curious as to what he was dreaming about.

 _I'm sorry, there isn't much we can do at this point. Chemo will prolong, but make her sick. It's time to make decisions._

Letting out a whimper, eyes still closed, a tiny tear escaped down Ed's cheek and it broke Olivia's heart. Deciding he had experienced enough of whatever his dream was, she quickly sat up and leaned over him to kiss at his cheeks and his lips in an effort to wake him up.

 _'Olivia, I can't live without you,' he pleaded next to her hospital bed, as he leaned over and kissed at her face._

"Ed," Olivia said firmly, noticing a second tear rolling down and hitting the pillow. "Ed, baby, wake up. Wake up…it's okay…."

 _'I'm okay, Ed,' she said softly, her face pale and her eyes empty. 'You'll be okay too.'_

 _'No, I won't.'_

"Olivia…" he moaned softly, his eyes not opening, but the tone broke her heart.

"ED!"

She finally shook him, raising her voice a bit, and startling him out of his nightmare.

"What? Liv? Huh?" Ed sat straight up, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head as he tried to ground himself in reality. The dream felt all too real and it was shaking him to his core. Continuing to look around and take deep breaths, he reached out to take both of Olivia's hands in his to squeeze and hang on to until he was able to communicate better.

"Just a dream, babe," Olivia said softly, her eyes staying on Ed's face as he clearly was still struggling. "Everything's okay…"

Ed just shook his head again, before climbing out of bed and kissing her lips quickly.

"Lemme splash some water on my face."

Olivia watched closely as he went into the bathroom and cracked the door, letting out a sigh and settling against the headboard as she gave him some time to calm down.

Meanwhile, Ed had braced himself over the sink and was occasionally splashing cold water all over his face in an attempt to get the images from his dream out of his head. His goal was to remain steadfast and strong for Olivia, not letting her see him this worried and this shaken about the impending test results, but if he were honest, that dream rattled him more than he wanted to admit.

Despite all of the hardships his family had faced; attacks, court hearings, legal battles, crazy people, he always had some sense of control, even if it was false. There was always something he could be doing. Talking to lawyers, confronting people, making veiled threats to officers in charge in order to make sure they were protecting his family. But this time it was different. This time, he was merely a passenger. Despite wanting to hold his wife tightly in his arms, in their home, safe from all of the outside forces that threatened them, it was an inside force that was now presenting itself. And it terrified Ed Tucker straight through his bones.

He must have been in the bathroom longer than he thought, because he suddenly felt two warm and familiar arms slither around his waist and settle against his chest while lips pressed kisses along his shoulder blades.

"Hey…" he said, his voice still raspy but much clearer than it had been.

"Hey yourself," Olivia responded slyly. "You gonna just stand here all night, or can I take you back to bed?"

Ed turned around, a slight smirk on his face and cupped his wife's cheeks in his large, calloused, yet loving hands.

"Always."

Olivia walked backwards, allowing her arms to slide from Ed's back and grab his hands, leading them back to the darkened bedroom. Once they were settled against the pillows, Ed rolled onto his side and pulled Olivia so she was tucked into his chest and burrowed under their down comforter. He took some steadying breaths as his fingers ran along her face, jaw, and the shell of her ear and his lips kissed at the top of her head. Olivia had one arm tucked between them, grasping at his t-shirt, and the other was wrapped around his waist, making sure they were touching as much as they could be.

"Talk to me?" She implored, slowly being lulled into a peaceful headspace as she felt her husband's soothing touch.

"You know how much I love you," he said softly, and in such a tone that signaled to Olivia that it wasn't a question. He was well aware, after all of these years, that she knew just how deeply he loved her. And he was right, she did, so she nodded against him and waited for him to continue. "And you know that I would do anything _, anything_ , for you. For our children. For our grandchild."

"I do," she said, kissing at his chest through the thin blue material of his shirt. "You are a great man. An amazing man. And we are so very lucky to have you."

"I'm the lucky one," he said, his voice cracking just a bit, but he made a quick recovery. "I guess I'm just feeling a little helpless right now. There's nothing I can do to stop this, if those tests come back saying…ya know…"

"We can't think like that," Olivia said softly, pulling her head back so she could see into his eyes. And in them, she saw the terror swirling around and realized what he was dreaming about. "Oh, Ed…"

"I'm sorry," he said softly, his eyes drifting down and closing for a bit, before grasping some of her hair in his hand, almost as if he were afraid she would disappear.

"Don't be sorry," she said, trying to catch his eyes and failing.

"I just can't handle the thought of life without you," he admitted, pressing his lips to her forehead. "And I know that we still don't know what this is, but…"

"I know."

"I just love you so fucking much, Olivia," he said, tears finally spilling down his face as he desperately grasped his wife's body and continued to whisper his love to her, hoping it would somehow will away any sickness that was permeating her body.

Olivia, now in tears herself, just relished in the tight hold Ed had her in and rubbed his back with her hand in an effort to let him know she was still there, with him.

"I'm right here, Ed," she kept repeating. "It's gonna be okay. Whatever this is, I will fight it. I will fight it hard."

"No," he growled, still holding her tightly but moving to where they were nose to nose and he could peer into her eyes. " _We_ will fight this."

She just nodded at the intensity of his words, as their tears began to mix together. After a few moments of staying frozen in that position, Olivia shifted and accidentally brushed her hips against his, causing his body to jerk. He promptly rolled her onto her back, eyes still attached to hers, and settled between her legs.

"Yes?" Olivia asked, eyebrow raised, in an effort to lighten the mood just a bit. Ed shook his head with a little smile, before his eyes narrowed.

"Distraction time," he said, his lips diving to her chest causing Olivia to let out a content sigh and surrender herself.

* * *

"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day. Me and Lizzie wanna play," Noah sang softly, as he and Lizzie sat by the back door and watched the rain pour down late Saturday afternoon.

It had been a dreary morning out on Long Island, and at first the Tuckers were excited to spend the day in pajamas and all pile into the living room to watch movies. But after three children's movies, the adults were restless and the two young ones had energy to spare. They attempted to play a board game, but by the third round, Lizzie was squirming to get down from Olivia's lap and Noah was just not interested, so they gave up.

Fixing another pot of coffee, Trevor began to search through his phone in an effort to find some kind of indoor activity and suddenly his face perked up.

"Hey, have you guys heard of this place?" he asked, handing his gadget over to the island where the other three adults were perched. "Looks pretty cool. About a forty-five minute drive."

"An indoor inflatable jungle?" Charlie asked, her face scrunched up as both Ed and Olivia put their glasses on and scrolled through the information page.

"Looks sorta fun," Olivia noted, glancing over at the kids then up at Trevor. "What's the worst case-scenario? It stinks and we are no worse off than we are now?"

"Exactly," Trevor said, nodding, and looking to Charlie who had taken the phone and was looking more carefully.

"Lemme just make sure they have a toddler section," she mumbled. "I don't want her in those things with big kids…"

After getting the seal of approval, Ed and Trevor were loading the kids into the back of the SUV and kissing their significant others goodbye. While hesitant to miss out on watching Noah and Lizzie jump around and have fun, neither Charlie nor Olivia had gotten much sleep the night before, so when the men offered to take the kids, they agreed quickly.

"Text us with pictures," Charlie said softly, kissing Trevor on the cheek and waving bye to Lizzie who was bouncing on his hip in anticipation of 'bouncy bouncy balls'.

"Of course."

And with that, the house was quiet again as Olivia headed back into the kitchen to clean up from their late lunch and Charlie moved to put the barely used board game back into the box. Eventually the two women ran out of things to occupy their time, and ended up on opposite ends of the sofa, feet touching, and pretending to scroll through their phones.

Olivia let out a sigh and tossed her cell on the coffee table, before eyeing Charlie.

"How are you doing, really?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" Charlie responded, fidgeting a bit and then putting her phone on the end table behind her. She moved her legs a bit, making sure she maintained contact with her mother, but hoped for a quick change of subject.

"Maybe," Olivia responded slowly. "But, you know how I'm doing right now…and I'm not quite sure you are really telling me how _you_ are."

"Fair enough," she said, picking at the blanket. "But, I'm okay Momma. Nervous about the results, like we all are. But other than that, I'm okay."

"I don't believe you one bit, baby girl," Olivia said with a smile on her face, her brown eyes sparkling but also showing concern. "I didn't believe you weeks ago, and I most definitely don't believe you now."

"Gee, thanks," Charlie said with a smirk and shake of her head, hoping to keep the light-hearted banter up instead of diving into a deep discussion. The truth was, she was a mess on the inside, but this was not the time for her to tell her mother that. She had to be the strong one. For all of them. So she shoved it all down yet again. "It's just been a long few months, but I promise I'm okay."

Olivia just kept watching her daughter, smile leaving her face and suddenly replaced with concern.

"Charlie."

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you?" Olivia asked softly, causing Charlie's head to snap up in surprise.

"Of course I do," she said, not sure why that was ever a question.

"You know I'd do anything for you?"

"I know that, Momma."

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"You have enough going on right now," Charlie insisted. "And I'm an adult. I should be able to deal with my own shit without crying on your lap…"

"Baby girl…" Olivia said, not sure what to do with that statement. On the one hand, she was glad Charlie was working to find her own footing. But the truth of the matter was she would always be her baby girl, and as long as she was around, she was determined that Charlie would not deal with anything on her own.

Before she could say anything further, a large clap of thunder boomed through the house, shaking the windows a bit and causing the power to flash. Alarmed, they both jumped up and went in search of candles and flashlights.

"I hope those inflatables glow in the dark," Charlie joked, assuming that if Lizzie heard that thunder she'd be in Trevor's arms in a flash.

Olivia just let out chuckle in response as she rummaged for batteries.

"Aha!" she said, triumphantly pulling a package of Duracell out of their junk drawer. "Hopefully the power stays on there…those kids need to run."

"Tell me about it," Charlie said, shaking her head and silently sending up a thank you to whatever force interrupted their conversation.

* * *

The rest of the weekend went by relatively uneventful, and Monday afternoon found the Tuckers back in their usual routine, though they were all on edge waiting for the phone to ring.

"Oh, wow," Charlie said, looking up from her laptop at the table. She had decided to work from home that day, in case her parents needed her. "It's almost 2:30pm. Want me to go get Noah?"

"Do you mind?" Olivia asked from where she was peeling potatoes on the counter.

"Not at all. Need me to pick anything up while we are out?"

"If Noah is up for it, maybe grab something for dessert. He can pick."

"Oh, you may regret that," Ed teased as he waltzed into the kitchen and draped himself around Olivia. She squirmed a bit in his tight grip, still trying to work on dinner, but eventually just resigned herself to the hug and placed the peeler down before sinking back into his chest.

"You two are disgustingly cute," Charlie said with an eye roll. "I'm going to get your son. Lizzie should sleep for at least another hour…"

As the front door closed behind Charlie, Ed loosened his grip on Olivia and moved to where his hip was resting against the counter and he could observe her face.

"How ya holdin' up?" he asked, reaching out and playing with a lock of her hair that had fallen from her messy bun.

"Okay," she said, letting out a breath and moving to wash her hands. As she dried them, she turned to face him and gave him an honest look. "Just…ready for the phone to ring…rip the band aid, ya know?"

"Yeah," he agreed, moving towards her and pulling her in for a hug. "Yeah, I know. Hopefully it is good news, and we can just…move on."

They stood there in each other's arms for a few minutes, before Olivia pulled away and tossed the peeled potatoes into the pot of water on the stove. She had no sooner tossed the last one in, when she heard her phone go off from where it was still sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Hurrying into the other room, with Ed on her heels, she scooped it up and looked up at to see her husband's eyes mirrored her own worried ones.

"This is it," she breathed and he reached out to hold her elbows as she answered.

"Hello? Yes, hi...well, yes, we are a little anxious…"

Ed struggled to try and hear the words from the doctor, but all he heard was mumbling, so instead he studied his wife's face for any indication as to what the news was. He watched as all of a sudden her eyes closed and tears began to spill down her cheeks. He tightened his grip on her, but her legs gave out before he could catch her and she collapsed onto her knees, sobbing silently, as she continued to hold the phone to her ear.

Terrified, Ed dove down next to her and moved her chin so he could see her face. That was when he realized her eyes were spilling relieved tears, not ones of anguish. Letting out a breath, he moved his lips to her forehead and tried to calm down. Olivia finally pulled herself together enough to put the phone on speaker, so they could both hear the next steps.

"Olivia, you still there?"

"Yes, sorry," she replied, sniffling a bit and still on the floor, leaning heavily against Ed. "I put you on speaker phone so my husband could hear as well…"

"Very good," the doctor said, her voice kind as she began to rehash what she had just told Olivia. "As I said, the tumor is benign, which is great news. The rest of Olivia's tests came back clear, so as far as results go, this is best we could have hoped for."

"Thank God…" Ed replied, his eyes closing as he moved to sit with his back against the couch and pulled Olivia firmly into his chest. "Thank God…"

"I'd still like to go in and remove the mass," the doctor said. "So I'm looking to get you scheduled for that within the next couple of months. But other than that, you have nothing to worry about Mrs. Tucker."

"Thank you," she said, her voice shaking but getting stronger as she allowed the full reality of good news to wash over her body. "Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome. Just let this news sink in, and I'll be in touch about the other, okay?"

"Okay."

As Olivia hung up the phone, she tossed it across the room and turned a bit so she could bury her face in Ed's neck. The couple stayed like that for what was likely another half hour, both of them allowing their tears and emotion to pour out in the safety of each other's arms.

Ed was the first to move, but only slightly, so he could kiss at her face.

"I love you," he said. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too."

* * *

 ** _Well? Is this what you expected? Yes? No? Maybe? Review!_**


	21. Chapter 21

**_I'm sure some of you expected me to go a different direction with those test results, and admittedly that was my original plan. But after introducing the possibility of cancer, and then listening to all of you, I decided to ease up and go a different way, though the aftermath of the scare will linger for a while._** ** _So you can all breath a sigh of relief...for now...because you know I'll just come up with something else._**

 ** _But, as always, Tuckson is endgame. And Noah is da best._**

* * *

Ed had just gotten up off the floor after sending his wife to their bathroom to freshen up, when he heard the door open and the lively sound of his son's voice fill the air.

"Then dey say 'stop drop and roll' and we all pac-tice it," Noah's little voice sounded excited and jubilant, as Ed made his way into the kitchen to greet them and he smiled at the sight. Noah had on an oversized plastic fireman's hat and was hopping alongside of Charlie, who was clearly holding quite the white box of whatever dessert they had picked up. Her face looked amused, but slightly overwhelmed, as Noah kept going with his exciting day.

"THEN we get to go outside, and they give us dese hats, and we got to take turns SPRAYING DA HOSE, Charlie!" He said, watching as she put the box down before grabbing her hands and making sure she was just as excited. She wasn't, but she tried.

"Wow!" She exclaimed, rubbing her brow and smiling down at him. "Did you put out a fire, No?"

"No," he said, his body slumping a bit, as if he was disappointed. "But now I know how!"

"Sounds like a great day," she said, finally looking up and seeing Ed watching them with amusement. "Hey Dad."

"Daddy!" Noah said, taking off across the kitchen, oversized fireman hat flailing about his head as he leapt into the man's arms. "You like my hat?"

Ed lifted the boy into his arms and squeezed him tight, before pulling back and giving him a classic Ed Tucker smirk.

"I love it, pal," he said. "Gonna be a firefighter when you grow up?"

"YEP!" he said, wiggling to get down and using a make believe hose to put out various fake fires in the kitchen. "See? I DA BEST fire-fighter, Daddy."

"I bet ya are," he replied, his voice a bit softer but his eyes still happily following his son's moves around the kitchen. Finally feeling like Noah was lost in his own world, Ed looked over to where Charlie was untying the red and white string on the bakery box, lost in her own little world. "Whatcha get for dessert?"

"As predicted," she said slyly, though not looking up. "Noah wanted rainbow cookie cake."

"Of course," Ed said, almost proudly. "We taught him well."

"Yeah," she said. "Lizzie is gonna be just like him…I just wish we could get them to where they would eat the cookies and not want the whole damn cake…"

Ed watched as she finally got it open and went to place it in the refrigerator, noticing her shoulders were tense and she wasn't making eye contact.

"Charlie?"

"Yeah?" she asked, finally looking up and meeting her Dad's eyes. Once she did, her stomach dropped. She saw a little redness in them, along with residual moisture, and immediately feared the worst. "Oh god…they called? Where's Momma?"

"Hey hey hey," he said quickly, walking over and taking her hands, realizing he had freaked her out even though it wasn't his intention. "She's just in the bathroom. Everything's fine, okay?"

"Sure," she said, her head shaking back and forth.

"Hey, No," Ed said, turning around without releasing his daughter's hands. "Why don't you go put your new firefighter stuff in your room, so it doesn't get lost okay?"

"Okay!" He yelled, and ran down the hall to get his bags, then took off across the living room and into his room, closing the door behind him.

"Where's Momma?" Charlie asked again, firmly, now that that Noah was out of hearing range. Ed took a deep breath, but was saved by the soothing voice that rang out behind him.

"I'm right here, sweet girl," she said, making her way into the kitchen having changed into leggings and a big t-shirt of Ed's. Charlie made a beeline for the woman, grasping her arms and looking into her brown eyes pleadingly. "Everything's fine," Olivia said softly and slowly, so the words would sink in.

"Fine?"

"Yep," Olivia confirmed, moving her hands to cup Charlie's face and kiss her cheeks. "The tumor is benign. No cancer. Just need it removed at some point."

"Oh god, Momma," Charlie said, her body slumping a bit in relief as she moved to engulf Olivia in a massive hug. "Oh I'm so glad. So so so glad."

"Me too, baby girl," Olivia said, one hand gripping Charlie's hair and the other rubbing her back. "Me too."

She pulled away slightly and opened her mouth to say more, but Noah came flying back into the room, still hyped up and noticed Olivia.

"Momma!" He shrieked, mirroring his greeting of Ed and jumping into Olivia's arms as well.

"I'm gonna go check on Lizzie," Charlie said, smiling at the scene in front of her. "Make sure to tell Momma all about your hat and your new career."

Olivia gave Charlie a funny look, but shook it off and turned her attention to her son, while her daughter made a quick exit.

"You see, Mommy, today we be firefighters…"

* * *

"Cake, Mama?" Lizzie asked for what was likely the tenth time at the dinner table. Ed just smirked and stood up, clearly heading to get the cake ready, and Charlie rolled her eyes.

"You gotta eat your peas first, baby," she said. "Just a few more bites, come on…"

"Papa…cake?" Lizzie asked, ignoring her mother's direction and turning her head to watch Ed work on putting the cake on a platter to bring to the table.

"Elizabeth Margaret," Charlie warned, her eyes narrowing as the little girl clearly tried to get her grandpa to save her from the horror of eating her vegetables. "Two more bites of peas. Then cake. Papa is gonna leave the cake over there, isn't he?"

Ed, seeing he had almost stepped into trouble, backed his way back into the kitchen while holding the cake. Olivia, watching the entire scene with amusement, was trying not to laugh and failing. Luckily, Noah jumped in to save the day.

"Lizzie, I eated my peas," he said seriously and leaning over from his seat next to her high chair to scoop a bite into her baby spoon and push it into her mouth. "See? It easy."

"Thank you, Noah," Charlie said pointedly, glancing another playful but stern look at her father who was just waiting until he was able to be the savior and bring the little girl her cake.

Finally, Charlie was pleased with the situation and took the purple princess plate from the high chair, moving to the kitchen to rinse it.

"Cake! Cake!" Lizzie yelled, her hands hitting the high chair in excitement. "Bow Cake!"

"Yep, I got us Rainbow Cake," Noah said with a big smile. "Cuz I know it your favorite. Mine too, Lizzie."

"Tank you, Unc," Lizzie said, as if she understood that her uncle had gotten it just for her, and she moved her chubby hand to pat his cheek. "Ove you…"

"Love you too, Lizzie," Noah said. "Daddy, I have big piece?"

"Regular size piece," Olivia said, her eyes bright as she just sat back and enjoyed the normal antics of their family dinner. She loved the banter, the tiny arguments, the knowing glances, and the sneaky motions of her husband trying to spoil their granddaughter right in front of Charlie. She leaned over into Ed, as he came and sat back down next to her and squeezed her thigh. Despite the normalcy of their evening, she was aware that Ed was a little extra clingy. In fact, she had been forced to eat most of her meal one-handed because he refused to let go of her, not that she minded. But it gave her an awareness as to just how much this cancer scare had rattled her husband and likely her daughter as well, though she was being a little more distant with her feelings.

"Okay, Lizzie, here's your cake," Charlie said, setting the bowl in front of her before standing up to stretch. "Dad, will you keep an eye on her? I need to run to the back for a bit…"

"Sure," Ed responded.

"She doesn't get more cake…" Charlie said, eyeing him, then looking to Olivia for support. "Please?"

"No more cake," Ed said. "Promise."

* * *

A couple hours later, Ed reluctantly let go of his wife to set about getting Noah in the bath and ready for bed. As he monitored the progress of his shower, Olivia made her way across the house and into the other little hallway where Charlie and Lizzie's rooms were.

"Keep brushing, sweetheart," she heard Charlie say as she waited outside the hallway. "I'll be right back...oh! Momma! Didn't know you were out here."

"Sorry, baby girl," she said. "Was just waiting for you to finish up so I could cuddle my Lizzie-bug a bit before bed."

"Oh, she would love that," Charlie said, a small smile on her face. "Want me to yell when she's ready?"

"How about I just help finish up her bathroom routine?"

"Oh, sure, okay," Charlie said. "That's great…then I can throw this in the wash. You have anything to add to the load?"

"Grab Noah's school clothes?"

"Sure."

"Hey, Charlie?" Olivia asked, grabbing the girl's wrist to stop her from scurrying away.

"Yeah, Momma?"

"I love you," Olivia said, her voice a little emotional but she held it in as she watched her daughter's face momentarily relax and show the absolutely overwhelming array of emotions, before she tensed back up and smiled through the budding tears.

"I love you too," she said softly, crashing into the older woman and settling her face in her neck for just a bit. Olivia let out a relieved whimper, glad to be able to hold her grown daughter for a bit, rocking them back and forth like she usually did. "I'm so glad you're okay…so so so glad…"

"Me too," Olivia responded, pulling back and kissing her cheeks, before Charlie moved from her grasp, grabbed the laundry basket, and made a quick exit. "Me too…"

Letting out a sigh, and trying not to focus on how worried she was about Charlie, Olivia turned around and went into the bathroom, where Lizzie was bouncing up and down on her stool and brushing her teeth.

"Almost done?" Olivia cooed. "Ollie's gonna read to you for a bit…"

* * *

"Shhh, Liv," Ed whispered as his head popped up from between her legs. "Gotta be quiet…"

Olivia just whimpered and grabbed a pillow to cover her face as her husband dove back to her core, licking and sucking so quickly that she could barely stand it. Ed had been eating at her for about twenty minutes now, and he would get her close to the edge, before backing off and licking at her thighs instead, waiting for her body to relax a bit before attacking yet again.

Olivia, ever cognizant of the fact that their seven-year-old was sleeping across the hall, was doing her best not to let out shrieks of pleasure and frustration, but it was getting increasingly difficult.

"Ed…" she moaned softly. "Please…I can't...I gotta…"

Ed's eyes narrowed as he peered up at her from where his mouth was attached to her clit, and he seared two fingers into her. He watched in glee as her eyes widened and she slammed the pillow back over her face as her body tensed up and convulsed around his lips and fingers. Ed remained between her legs, licking a bit, before he slithered up her body, removed the pillow, and grinned down at her.

"Jesus, baby," she said, breathlessly, but with a smile. "You were about to kill me…"

"I wanted to hear you scream…" he said, teasing her nipples a bit, signaling he wasn't quite done.

"Yeah, well, we have a child across the hall…"

"Can't we just sound proof his room?" Ed asked flippantly, causing Olivia to roll her eyes and laugh.

"No!" she said through her giggles. "What if he needs us?"

"He'll be fine."

"Ed…"

"Okay, okay, I know. I just…those noises you made in Alaska…I want them again…"

"We just got back…"

"But it wasn't enough…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. It will never be enough."

"Baby…" Olivia whispered, reaching up and stroking his cheek with her hand, watching as he fought the emotions swirling inside of him.

"I'll never get enough of you. Of your smile. Your laugh. Your words. Your hugs. Your kisses. Your heart. Your soul…" he began listing, as if it were the easiest and most important list in his life. "Your body…your whimpers…your sighs…your moans…I want more…all the time, I'm wanting more of you."

"You have me…" she responded.

"I know," He said, pulling himself out of the emotion and allowing his sexy smirk to return to his face, allowing the skin to crinkle at his eyes. "And right now, I want those moans…"

"Gotta work for them…" Olivia said, her smirk growing and her eyes darkening as she watched Ed's face change from teasing to determination.

"Oh, that I can do…" he said, suddenly pulling her into a sitting position and turning her around, so she was on her knees and flush against the headboard. He brushed her hair back and to the side, so he could suck at her neck as he pushed into her from behind and listened to guttural groan come from her throat.

"Yep," he said, beginning a slow thrust, careful to not knock the headboard too loudly into the wall. "Just like that…"

* * *

It was approaching two in the morning and Charlie was still tossing and turning, not able to close her eyes due to the swirling emotions in her head. She was deeply regretting giving Trevor the okay to head back into the city. He had offered to stay and not go into work this week given the results they were waiting on, but Charlie had insisted he go, telling him she'd be fine and she'd call if she needed him. But now here she was, alone in her bed and stuck in a sea of anxiety, while the rest of the house was asleep, at least to her knowledge.

Finally giving up, she rolled out of bed, threw on her slippers, and trudged out to the kitchen to get some water. After gulping down the glass and placing it in the sink, she made her way back towards her room and decided to detour. Slowly cracking Lizzie's door, the young mother slipped inside and stood over her daughter's crib as she watched the little girl sleep peacefully. She was resting on her back, curls were splayed all over the mattress, hands resting on either side of her face almost like a starfish. She was the picture of perfect contentment.

Making a split second decision, Charlie reached down and carefully scooped her up, cradling her into her chest as she made her way back to her bedroom with the still sleeping angel. She crawled into her own queen sized bed, making sure Lizzie was snuggled in tightly next to her, before turning the lamp off and nestling into her own pillow. She held Lizzie close, as the girl kept breathing softly against her chest, and rested her chin on top of her little head.

"I love you, Lizzie," she whispered, as tears began to slowly make their way down her cheeks. "I love you. And I know I'm just a mess right now, but I'm gonna be better. I promise, I'm gonna be better for you. You just stay right here with Mommy, and it's gonna be okay."

Little Lizzie stayed tucked into her chest, one of her tiny fists gripping her Mommy's shirt, almost as if she knew there was something going on. Eventually, Charlie cried herself into a fitful sleep, hoping for a better and easier day when she woke up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed and Olivia were still wide awake across the house. Fully sated, but not able to sleep, the couple had finally settled into the bed. Olivia's back was to Ed as he wrapped her tightly in his embrace, feeling the rise and fall of her stomach and chest as she breathed. Olivia's hands grasped at his wrists, showing she wasn't any keener on being out of his arms than he was in the moment.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice low and rumbly, but full of concern.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I just have this feeling…"

"What kind of feeling?" He asked, a little alarmed that she wasn't more relaxed after the test results.

"Oh, not about me," she said quickly, having felt his body tense up when she said the words. "Charlie. Something isn't right."

"I know," Ed admitted.

"I've noticed it for a while now…"

"So have I, but I was so focused on your health…"

"I know."

"We'll switch gears tomorrow, see what's up."

Olivia turned around at those words, resting her hands on Ed's chest and look up at him with a grateful smile.

"Love you."

"I love you, too," he replied, kissing her forehead and closing his eyes. "But I need ya to sleep, so I can sleep too."

Chuckling, Olivia settled herself down and closed her own eyes, allowing the sense of relief from the day and the safety of her husband's arms to lull her into a content slumber.

* * *

 ** _I know I've spoiled you all lately with daily updates, but that is likely to slow down a wee bit. Just a warning. Don't panic, but occasionally I have to do things like work and stuff. At least until I figure out how to get paid to write Tuckson all day._**

 ** _Review, please? I need to know I'm on the right track here!_**


	22. Chapter 22

_**1 Week Later**_

* * *

"Catch up, old man!" Charlie yelled as she continued to jog down the tree-lined path, her father trailing a bit. She slowed down as she reached the clearing ahead, opening up to a fantastic view of Gardiners Bay, and put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. Ed finally caught up and mirrored her actions as they both began to wind down from their three mile run through Cedar Point.

"I love this view," Charlie said, her voice a little winded as she took her water bottle off of her belt and took some sips. Ed followed suit while heading over to a stone bench and sitting down, fully facing the view of the water.

"Me too," he said. "Used to come out here when I was younger and just a beat cop. Almost as a way to cleanse myself from the job. Would jog all the way from the lot to the lighthouse, and back."

Charlie sat herself down and watched him for a bit, as he was clearly lost in thought.

"It was before I met your mom," he mused. "Once I met her, there was never a time to come back out here and regroup. I was spending all my free time with her, and then with you, until…well…" he trailed off, not having meant to take the conversation in the direction he did. So he continued to sit, though now a bit uncomfortable, and look out at the view.

"It's beautiful," Charlie said softly. "I can see how it would soothe you from whatever horrors you saw on your job."

"It did," he admitted. "But, ya know, holding you had the same effect…"

"I'm glad we live out here now," she noted, brushing aside the comment from her father and moving forward with their more candid conversation. "We should do our weekend runs here more often."

Ed just looked over at her, noticing the quick change in depth, and smiled.

"We should, and we will if you want," he said.

Charlie just nodded in confirmation and bent one of her legs up against her chest, resting her chin on her knee, as she kept her eyes on the bay.

"Talk to me," he said, leaning back with his arms behind his head and joining her in staring out at the large, blue body of water before them. He heard Charlie take a deep breath, signaling she had some things on her mind, so he sat patiently and waited for her to speak.

"Is Mom nervous about the surgery?" Charlie asked, not taking her eyes off of the bay, but her body language shifting enough to where Ed knew she was hanging off of every word he was about to say.

"A little," he allowed. "You know Liv. She likes being in control and being the one that's fixing other people's issues, not her own. So I think there's a large part of her that is afraid of how everyone else will be while she's recovering. And she's already grumpy about restrictions."

"She needs to focus on herself," Charlie said, and hearing Ed let out a little chuckle at the statement.

"When have you ever known her to do that?"

"True, but still…" her voice trailed off, not finishing the thoughts in her head. Once again, Ed's attention was brought back to his daughter, wondering what was burning at her deep down.

"She's gonna be okay, Charlie," he said softly, almost as if he were convincing himself of that fact along with his oldest child.

"I know…" she responded distantly, before shaking her head a bit and turning to look at her father's profile. "How are _you_ doing? I know you were shaken up by the whole thing…"

Ed pursed his lips a bit and moved his hands from behind his head to rest on his knees.

"I was," he admitted. "Still am, if I'm honest. The thought of your mother…" his voice cracked at the end, so he stopped for a bit and closed his eyes, almost as if he were talking himself off the ledge.

"Daddy, she's okay," Charlie said, reaching a hand over to grasp his and squeeze tightly.

"She is," he said, opening his eyes and looking at Charlie. Identical blue eyes met in that moment, and they both shared a silent understanding that Olivia Benson-Tucker was more important to them than words could explain. And, even only for a split second, an outside force threatened to take her from them, leaving them reeling in the aftermath of the scare. "She is, and I thank God for that…"

"Oh, Daddy," she said, reaching out and putting an arm around him, not quite for a full-on hug since they were sweaty from the run, but enough of a support so he could pull himself together.

"Heard from Trevor and Lizzie?" Ed asked, clearing his throat and again changing the tone of the conversation, in typical Tucker form.

"Not today," she said, checking the time on her fit-bit. "Though my phone is in the car and it's three hours earlier out in California. They are probably just getting up and moving…"

Charlie decided to bite the bullet and allow Trevor to take their daughter out to Los Angeles with him for four days. He was wanting to spend time with Tessa before he started back to work full time, and while Charlie didn't want to go, she let him take Lizzie. Trevor was clearly surprised when she agreed, as he stammered for a bit before promising they would Skype and send photos regularly. But Charlie just smiled and assured him that she trusted him. And she did.

"Feels weird without her running around the house," Ed admitted, trying to crack the shell that his daughter had built around herself over the last year or so. No matter how much progress they made as a family, Charlie's default setting was still to clam up, just like someone else he knew and loved.

"It does, doesn't it?" she acknowledged, scratching her head a bit and smiling softly. "Though my inner clock still wakes me up at the crack of dawn…hence us being here…"

"Charlie, what's going on with you and Trevor?" Ed asked, getting straight to the point.

"I…" she stammered a bit, unsure of what to say.

"Why are you still hesitating?"

"I wish I knew," she whispered honestly, shrugging her shoulders. "He's back. He's perfect. Everything's perfect."

"But?"

"That's the thing," she said, standing up and stretching a bit, indicating she was ready to run back to the truck. "Everything's perfect, but I still can't let myself go all in."

* * *

"Going to da fire house," Noah chanted as he skipped around the house looking for the match to his sneakers. One had been right where it was supposed to be, in the mud room, but the other was no where to be found; a normal occurrence in the Tucker household with two young children on the loose. "Gotta find da shoe first."

Olivia laughed to herself as she watched her son scoot around the house, chanting his little chants, and peering under various pieces of furniture in search of his shoe. She had an idea as to where it was, but Noah insisted that he be the one to find it, so he was refusing her help. She took a swig of her coffee and checked the time, realizing that Ed should be getting out of the shower shortly.

"Sweet Noah," she called. "Can I help you now? Daddy will be ready soon…"

"FINDED IT!" she heard him yell from his room, before he came running back out to the living room triumphantly. "Silly shoe. It in my toy box!"

 _Why the hell was it there,_ Olivia thought to herself before shaking her head with a smile and poking Noah's nose.

"Silly shoe," she repeated, pulling him up onto her lap, squeezing him tight, and smothering his cheek with kisses. "I love you, baby boy. Love love love you."

"To da moon!" Noah said, repeating a line from one of the books he had been requesting nightly.

"To the moon and back! And even more," Olivia said, rocking him a bit and giving him one last kiss before readjusting and allowing him to put his shoes on. "Are you excited?"

"Yep," he said, his little tongue sticking out as he worked to tie his shoes, a new found skill. "Gonna sit in da fire truck. And maybe honk da horn! And and…slide down da pole!"

"Wow," Olivia said, raising her eyebrows and thinking about how much fun the little boy was about to have. "That sounds so fun, Noah. Better tell Daddy to take pictures for me okay?"

"Okay," he said, finishing his shoes then leaning back against his mother. Olivia soaked it up, realizing how fast he was growing up and how it would soon be a novelty to get this cuddle time with her son. Kissing at his hair, she swayed them back on forth on the couch as he rested silently against her.

"You're my sweet boy," she murmured, settling her chin on the crown of his head and closing her eyes.

"You sweet too, Mommy," Noah said nonchalantly, straining his neck so he was looking up at her and went to pat her cheek. "Sweet Mommy. Sweet Noah."

Olivia fought the tears brewing at her son's unprompted comment and smiled at him, giving him eskimo kisses and squeezing him even tighter.

"Sweet family."

* * *

"Captain Tucker!" A strong, jubilant voice rang out from inside of the fire house as Ed and Noah walked up the drive hand in hand. The door to the garage was open, and a few younger looking guys were helping to wash the truck. All of a sudden, a tall, gruff man appeared sporting a tight navy firehouse shirt and trousers. "Good to see ya!"

"Hey there, Phil," he said, reaching out and giving the man a firm handshake before gesturing to his right. "This is my son, Noah."

"Well hello, Noah," Phil said, squatting down a bit and reaching to shake his hand as well. "I hear you are interested in being a fireman."

"Yes sir," Noah said very seriously, making sure to be on his best behavior just like his Dad had told him on the ride over. "We have fire week at school. I learn to stop drop and roll and I also help spray da hose!"

"Wow," Phil said, letting out a long whistle. "Sounds like you've got some experience then. How about we show ya around?"

"Okay!" He said, jumping a bit before grasping Ed's hand, almost as if he were afraid he was going to have to go alone. "My Daddy come too?"

"Why of course," Phil said, standing up and leading them into the garage. "Gotta show NYPD what a real hero looks like," he said, throwing a smirk over his shoulder and then ducking as Ed went to smack him on the back of the head.

"Hey now," he said, smiling himself and then looking down at Noah as he enjoyed the familiar ribbing between first responders. "You don't listen to him, now, Noah."

Noah just rolled his eyes, as if he were already a teenager.

"Daddy you and Firefighter Phil gotta behave," he said seriously. "Or you will go to timeout."

"Can't have that can we?"

"Nope," Noah said, keeping his hand and skipping into the garage behind Phil. "Gotta slide down that pole!"

* * *

Olivia fought to catch her breath, her entire body reduced to jello as she lay almost like a starfish on their bed. Ed had collapsed next to her, his own breathing not back to normal after she initiated what turned into somewhat of a marathon sex session.

"Where did that come from?" he asked, a smirk on his face as he reached up and brushed a piece of hair off of her sweaty cheek. He saw her eyes close and she took a few more deep breathes and than swung herself onto her side so they were face to face.

"I don't know," she whispered, her eyes searching his, her hand cupping his cheek. "Seeing those videos of you and Noah at the fire station, and hearing him talk about how much fun he had with his Daddy…it just…well…I just love you."

"I woulda taken him to the firehouse a long time ago if I thought this would be my reward," he quipped at her, his eyes showing the tease in his statement. The truth was that he didn't do anything with Noah for a reward. He loved that little boy, and coveted the time they spent together. So when Olivia essentially pounced on him that night, he wasn't going to turn it down, but now he wanted to make sure she didn't feel obligated to thank him in this way.

"I'm just kidding," he said, his fingertips tracing up and down her side as they snuggled into the pillows and blankets. "You never have to reward me for doing my job as a father."

"I know," she said. "But there's something about seeing you in action like that…"

"That what, makes you want to render me speechless?"

Olivia let out a laugh and shook her head a bit.

"You're impossible," she said, leaning up to kiss his lips and then settled her head under his chin for a moment. "But I love you."

"I love you too," he said, moving to wrap her up in a warm embrace and settle them in for the night. But all of a sudden she was wiggling from his grip. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said, swinging her legs to the side of the bed and standing up. "But I gotta pee, and need some water…now that I can feel my legs again."

As she sauntered to their bathroom, naked, Ed's eyes followed her eagerly.

"I can feel you watching me," she said over her shoulder as she stopped in the bathroom doorway.

"Yeah, well, the view is pretty damn amazing."

* * *

Olivia tightened the sash on her robe and quietly made her way through the living room and towards the kitchen. It was a task to get Ed's hands off of her after the returned to the bedroom, but after promising him she would be right back after getting a glass of water, he released her and laid back on the bed with a pout.

Now she scrunched up her forehead in confusion as she noticed a faint light coming from the room just off the kitchen. Padding over and slowly opening the door, she saw Charlie perusing the wine cabinet.

"Charlie?" she whispered softly, not wanting to startle her, but failing. The girl jumped about a foot before turning around and putting her hand on her chest and laughing a bit.

"Geez, Momma, you scared me…"

"Sorry baby girl," Olivia said, reaching out and patting her hand. "I didn't mean to. Came out to get some water and saw the light on…what's up?"

"Can't sleep," she admitted. "Thought maybe I'd grab an open bottle of red if we had one and maybe take a bath."

"It's after midnight," Olivia said, a little concerned. But Charlie just shrugged.

"Whatever works, right?"

"Charlie…"

"I'm fine, Momma," she said, turning around and smiling. "Just a little on edge with Lizzie so far away."

"You've been 'fine' for a while now," Olivia said, not willing to let this one go. "Wanna go with the truth now?"

Charlie stood there for a bit, biting her lower lip and reminding Olivia so much of herself. She didn't give birth to Charlie, or even raise her, but it was scary how much they were alike at this point.

"Look," Charlie finally said, taking a deep breath. "I promise I'm fine, okay? It's just been a rough, well, life I suppose. And I'm doing the best I can…"

"Oh, baby," Olivia sighed out, reaching out to grasp her forearms and rubbing them a bit. "I didn't mean to sound like you weren't trying. I just want you to talk to me."

"I'm an adult…you can't always be fixing my shit…"

"Oh, you're wrong there sweet girl," Olivia said with a smile. "I'm you're Momma. I'm always going to wanna 'fix your shit' as you say."

"Well, luckily, there isn't much to fix," Charlie said, straightening up and smiling. "Just my life-long horrible sleeping habits."

"Wanna curl up on the couch and watch a movie together?" Olivia offered, thinking maybe if she could get Charlie still, the girl would get some sleep. "Until you've calmed down some?"

"Maybe," she said. "But you should go to bed. Dad doesn't like to share, ya know…"

Olivia's cheeks blushed a bit at the way Charlie was smirking at her, but shook it off and moved to kiss her cheek.

"You promise me that if something was wrong, you'd tell me?" Olivia finally asked admitting defeat, at least for the night.

"I promise," Charlie said. "Everything's fine. It's just me being, well, me."

"Okay then," Olivia said, nodding a bit even though she was not convinced. "I'll table this for now. But don't think we aren't revisiting…"

"Get back to Dad before he sends a search crew," Charlie said, pulling Olivia into a quick hug and squeezing her gently. "I love you Momma."

"I love you too, Charlie," she said firmly, holding her close a little longer than intended before pulling back and cupping her face, searching her eyes. "Try to get some sleep?"

"Will do," she said, and as Olivia turned to leave added one more quip. "Try not to let Dad keep you up all night…"

* * *

 ** _This story will likely be wrapping up soon. Right now, we have 3-ish chapters left, depending on how it all shakes out as I write. If you have any lasting requests, now is the time to let me know._**

 ** _Oh, also, reviews are nice too._**


	23. Chapter 23

_**#Tuckson**_

* * *

"Are you comfortable?" Ed asked for what was likely the twentieth time that morning. Olivia, from where she was situated on the gurney, let out a sigh and shook her head.

"Would you just come over here and sit with me?" she asked exasperatedly, hoping that her husband would calm his nerves and just be with her for the few moments before her surgery. Ed gave her a sheepish grin and removed his hands from his pockets, before padding over to her bed and sitting next to her waist, taking her hand and kissing it.

"Sorry, baby," he whispered gruffly. "Nerves are getting the best of me…"

"I can see that," she responded, her eyes sparkling but curious, as she watched her husband fight whatever emotions he seemed to be experiencing. "Care to fill me in?

"I just don't like seeing you in a hospital bed…"

"Ed…"

He shook his head, signaling for her to stop, and tried to take some steadying breaths.

"You know, a month ago I was convinced that we would be in this exact position," he said, his fingers tracing patterns on the palm of her hand, before looking up and meeting her eyes with his pained ones. "Except we'd be facing cancer…"

"Oh, _Ed_ …" she gushed, trying to sit up so she could hold him, but he waved her off, indicating that he still had some things to say.

"Olivia, you know how much I love you," he said, searching her brown eyes and finding the answer he was searching for. Of course she knew. "You know that I'd do anything, _anything_ , for you. For our family."

Olivia just nodded, moving her free hand to squeeze his thigh comfortingly.

"We've been through a lot, the two of us," he continued. "The three of us, then the four of us. Now the five of us…"

"We have…"

"But when the doctor said that…word…" he paused a bit, swallowing hard and praying for the strength to continue. To say his peace, before he lost his nerve. "I felt all my resolve crumble around me. Now that I know what it's like to love you. To be with you. Well, I'm not sure I would survive without you."

Olivia felt tears brimming her eyes as she bit her bottom lip and rubbed his thigh encouraging him to continue.

"I guess I'm just having a hard time getting past that," he admitted. "Seeing you laying there…it just…hit me harder than I thought."

"You know I'm okay, Ed," she whispered, catching his eyes a bit and watching a sheepish grin spread across his face, that she returned warmly. "And, once this harmless lump is out, then I think life is gonna let up on us. Permanently."

"I don't want any life that doesn't have you in it…" he said, his voice low and gruff, but so full of emotion that it took Olivia breath away.

They stayed there, just like that, for what was likely several minutes because they next thing they knew, a knock on the door was followed by a nurse entering and clearing her throat.

"Mr. and Mrs. Tucker?" she asked, reading the chart and giving them a warm smile. "Looks like the OR is all set. Are you ready?"

Ed looked into her eyes and squeezed her hands, leaning down to kiss her lips.

"I love you, baby," he whispered.

Olivia swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry and her anxiety going up a bit. She managed a tight lipped smile and a squeeze to his hands in return, so Ed went in for another kiss.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered against her lips. "Okay?"

"Yeah," she whispered, closing her eyes and relishing in the feel of his forehead and nose against hers.

"Okay," the nurse said, walking over to the side of the bed as Ed reluctantly stood up, but kept Olivia's hand tightly encased within his own. "Let's get this cap on you," she said, leaning down and pulling Olivia's hair back into the clear, almost shower-looking cap. Ed immediately reached down to help, running his fingers through the brown locks as he helped tuck them back and used that opportunity, of course, for another kiss.

"Mr. Tucker, your daughter is all set up in Waiting Room D," she said softly, realizing that the couple was obviously nervous. "And once they get started, I'll stop by and let you know how it's going."

"That's good," he said. "That's good. The more I know, the better."

"I get a sense of that," the nurse said with a little smirk as she winked at Olivia, who offered a sly grin. "Your wife may have let that slip…"

"Of course she did," Ed said, smiling lovingly down at the woman who held his heart. She looked small in the bed, hair pulled into a plastic cap, and no make-up, revealing her lightly freckled face. He leaned down, one more time, and placed a kiss on her lips, nuzzling a bit, before running the pad of his thumb along her mouth. "I love you, Olivia Margaret. And I'll be right here when you wake up."

"I love you too, Ed," she said in a whisper, trying not to let her nerves show. "And you better be…"

Another nurse came in and assisted in wheeling the bed out of the room and down the hall. Ed followed alongside of the gurney for as long as they would let him, but eventually the doctor showed up in scrubs and stopped the movement in front of the double doors.

"Okay, Tuckers, we'll get you back together in a little bit," he said, allowing time for one more goodbye kiss, before wheeling Olivia through the double doors, leaving Ed standing there with his hands in his pockets, breathing deeply.

* * *

Charlie softly entered the waiting room after running down the street for a "real" cup of coffee, as Ed had requested. Handing him the take out cup, she sat down in the vacant seat by her father and took a sip, nudging him with her shoulder.

"How ya holdin' up, old man?" she asked, a sly grin on her face that looked identical to the one that Ed gave back to her.

"Who ya calling old?"

"You," she said. "Now I got you your coffee, so talk to me."

Ed let out a sigh and sipped at his cup of joe, before placing it on the coffee table and rubbing his hands over his jeans.

"Just ready for the operation to be over," he admitted. "Nervous. I don't like this feeling."

"Not being in control, ya mean?"

"Yeah…"

"I get that," Charlie said. "But she's gonna be okay, Dad."

"I know she is," he said, more confidence in his voice than Charlie expected. "She's tough. And too stubborn to not be okay."

"Exactly."

"How about you? You done avoiding stuff?" Ed asked, looking at his daughter out of the corner of his eyes, hoping that maybe she would open up to him just a little bit.

"Nope," she said, teasing a little bit with a shrug. "Avoidance is my specialty."

"Okay, mini-Olivia," he said, nudging her back before taking a deep breath and getting serious. "You can't avoid stuff forever. Eventually it will catch up to you."

"I know," she said. "And…I know that I can talk to you. Or Olivia. Right now, though, you two need to focus on each other and not your messed up kid."

"Hey," Ed said firmly, turning his body so he was fully facing Charlie and ducking his face so he caught her eyes. "You are not messed up, Charlotte. You are amazing. Smart. Beautiful. Kind. You have overcome more than anyone should have to. And you have done it with grace and strength. And Olivia and I _are_ focused on each other, but it turns out parents are great at multitasking," he said with a smirk and watched as Charlie's eyes lit up just a little bit. "So what if you don't know what you want right now? That doesn't mean you are messed up…it just means you have, well, more normal problems to overcome."

Charlie looked at her dad, as things began to click in her head.

"Normal things," she repeated, causing Ed to backtrack a bit.

"I didn't mean it that way…"

"Oh," she said quickly. "I know you didn't. You're right…"

"Say that again?" he asked, his smile growing as Charlie let out a little laugh.

"You. Are. Right." she repeated, rolling her eyes and loosening up a bit. "Trying to figure out if I'm ready to, ya know, move forward with Trevor. Compared to everything else, well, it feels mundane. And, I guess I'm just frustrated with myself for letting it bother me this much. It shouldn't. It's not that big of a deal…"

Ed let his daughter's words permeate for a bit, while once again wishing his wife was the one sitting here and listening. She always knew what to say, how to say it. But, Charlie was confiding in him.

"Well, it is a big deal," he said quietly. "Love. Commitment. It's a big deal. Overwhelming."

"Were you overwhelmed when you met Olivia?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "Overwhelmed. Scared. Nervous. You name it…"

"How'd you do it?"

"Persistence," Ed responded softly, lost in thought but being as honest as he could. "Persistence. Patience. Love. Olivia was, well, she was scared. She had walls. She tried to bolt…more than a few times."

"Really?" Charlie asked, her face screwed up a bit at the thought of Olivia trying to push her dad away.

"Really," he confirmed. "She'd been through more than her fair share, just like you. We even broke up once…"

"Wow…"

"But Charlie," Ed said, rubbing his hands together before placing one on her arm and squeezing lovingly. "Fighting for her? It was worth it. And, I'm willing to bet Trevor feels the same way…"

Charlie was getting ready to respond when the door to the waiting room opened, revealing the doctor taking off his mask and hat, rubbing his head a bit. Ed and Charlie immediately stood up, anxiously awaiting news on their Olivia.

"Mrs. Tucker is in recovery," he said. "The lump was a bit larger than anticipated, so she may be in a good bit of pain…"

"But, she's okay?" Ed asked, narrowing his eyes a bit at the doctor.

"Absolutely," he confirmed. "She did beautifully. We'll have her in recovery for a couple of hours, then move her to a room. Should be able to go home tomorrow."

"Thank you," Ed said, finally feeling like he could breathe again and reaching out to shake the doctor's hand. "Thank you so much."

"My pleasure," he said, eyeing Charlie a bit who was still frozen next to her father. "Once she's in a room, the nurse will come get you. You are both welcome to stay with her as much as you want at that point…"

"Great," Ed said, wrapping an arm around his daughter's shoulders. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he said, before turning to go. "We'll be in touch."

Ed watched as the door clicked shut, then turned to Charlie and pulled her into his chest, kissing the top of her head.

"She's okay, baby girl," he whispered, both to her and to himself. "She's just fine."

* * *

"Hey, sleepyhead," Charlie said softly, padding into her parents' bedroom and plopping herself on the bed next to Olivia. "How ya feeling?"

"Better," she said, her eyes still droopy as she reached out and grasped Charlie's hand.

"Still in pain?"

"Yeah," she whispered, closing her eyes a bit and taking a deep breath, before opening them again and smiling. "Hurts like a sonofabitch…"

"You need more pills?" Charlie asked though her chuckling, looking around for where her dad left the little orange bottle.

"No," she said. "I took some on my way back from the bathroom just now. Did your dad leave with Noah already?"

"Yeah," Charlie said with a smile, squeezing Olivia's hand a bit tighter. "Noah was hilarious on the way out, instructing Dad about how to properly supervise him at a birthday party while rattling off the 'Lizzie appropriate' play areas."

Olivia let out a laugh and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I bet," she allowed. "He was excited that Lizzie was going along. I think he likes to show off his uncle skills."

Mother and daughter stayed like that for a few minutes, hand in hand, looking at each other. Charlie could tell the pills were taking effect, as Olivia's brown eyes got cloudier and cloudier. Offering her a smile, she bounced their hands a bit.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Momma," she whispered, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I love you."

"Love you too, my sweet girl," Olivia returned, smiling a bit. "Come on, come cuddle with your Momma and talk to me…"

"You need to rest," Charlie said, hesitating a bit.

"I just rested," Olivia insisted. "What I need now is some time with my girl. So get your little butt down here and cuddle with me…"

Charlie let out a laugh and did as she was told, despite being convinced that her mother was acting mainly out of a codeine induced feeling. Snuggling down into the pillow, she turned onto her side and observed her mother's profile.

Olivia let out a sigh and, though not able to rest on her side, she turned her head to where her and Charlie were basically nose to nose. They stayed there for a bit, before Charlie began to fidget under the drug-induced stare and looked down.

"Charlie…" Olivia said, reaching her hand over to stroke her cheek a bit. "I'm so grateful for the relationship we have…"

"Me too, Momma," Charlie assured her. "More than you realize."

"Oh, I do realize," she said. "I promise you I do."

"What's on your mind?" Charlie asked, as it was obvious something was churning in her mother's pretty little head. She was always affectionate with her, but there was something different about this.

"Have I ever told you about my mother?" Olivia asked, keeping her hand on Charlie's cheek, as she shook her head a bit.

"Not really," she said softly. "Dad told me the basics…"

"She had a rough life," Olivia admitted softly, her eyes staying on Charlie's as she fought for the words to say. "Never really dealt with anything. Turned to alcohol. We had a…well….rocky relationship."

"Momma, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," Charlie said, not wanting Olivia to wake up clear of drugs and regret what she was saying. But that worry was quickly put to rest.

"No," Olivia said firmly. "I want to. I know I'm 'under the influence', but it's better this way. I can get out exactly what I want to say…what I've been wanting to say for a while…"

"Okay…" Charlie said, suddenly nervous as she shifted a bit and took her Momma's hand from her cheek and held it in her own. "Go on, I'm right here…"

"She tried, I know she tried, to be my Momma. And at times she succeeded, but it was too hard for her…"

"Oh, Momma…"

"Then she died. And for the next several years, I was lonely. Until your Daddy came along…"

Charlie smiled through her tears, listening to the slurred yet poignant words that Olivia was sharing with her.

"I could've turned to alcohol. And I was tempted. But I fought it, Charlie," she said, making sure their eyes were locked when she said that.

Charlie swallowed hard and nodded her head, not quite trusting her voice right then. Her and Olivia had such a close relationship. They had shared some of their most painful secrets, but she had always held back when it came to her relationship with her own mother, so this was new, and Charlie didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"When I got Noah, I was determined to be the mother I never had growing up. I waited _so long_ for him, for my little boy…" she said. "But I still had to fight the urge to turn to the bottle after he was in bed. Your Dad…when he came along…it may have been the farthest I had ever allowed myself to go. Just one more glass is all, I would tell myself. Until he stopped me. He was always right there, looking out for me. Reminding me to be my best self. And because of him, because I allowed him to help me, I'm able to be the mother Noah needs," she said strongly. "And the mother _you_ need."

"I see what you're saying," Charlie said quietly, nodding her head a bit, but Olivia shook her head. Likely a bit too hard, because then she chuckled a bit.

"Whoa," she said. "Hello pain pills…"

Charlie let out a laugh and patted Olivia on the cheek.

"Oh Momma, I just love you."

"I love you too, Charlie," she said. "And…I guess what I'm attempting to say here…is that I had to fight damn hard to get where I am. To let your Daddy love me. To be the mother that you and Noah deserve. It was a long, difficult road. Much like the one you are currently on. But now I have everything I've always wanted."

"You are the best mother in the entire world. We are so lucky," Charlie admitted, almost sheepishly, but Olivia shook her head, more slowly this time, and tilted her chin up with her finger.

"No hiding from me, baby girl," she said.

"This is the family I've always wanted," Charlie said, finding her voice a bit. "You, Dad, Noah, Lizzie, Trevor…"

Olivia smiled a bit in relief that her point had been made. Her eyes began to close, but she kept a tight grip on Charlie's hand and said her final thought, hoping it would resonate.

"Don't be like my mother, Charlie. I had to fight it…and I need you to fight it, too. Please…"

As Olivia fell into a deep, pill-induced slumber, Charlie remained right next to her. She stayed on her side, gripping Olivia's hand against her chest and watching her Momma snooze peacefully. The longer she stayed there, the more resolved she became to just let go. She knew it was hard for Olivia to speak about her mother, and that became even more obvious that afternoon. But if Olivia, her Momma, could overcome everything she had, then Charlie resolved that she could too.

It was there, in that moment, that Charlie realized she had all the support she needed to let go. To allow herself to feel. To be loved. To move forward in life. For herself, for her parents, and for her daughter.

Laughing to herself and reaching up to wipe away a lone tear, she leaned forward to kiss Olivia's cheek one more time, before settling in for her own little nap.

* * *

 ** _#ILoveReviews_**


	24. Chapter 24

_**#Tuckson**_

* * *

"Ed, I will be fine," Olivia said, rolling her eyes and adding a touch of lipgloss to her lightly made up face. She was wearing a loose fitting sundress and sandals, clearly going for comfort while simultaneously driving her husband crazy as he eyed her perfectly toned calves and ankles.

Snapping himself out of his lust, he sauntered up beside her in the bathroom and brushed her hair back softly.

"I just don't want you to over do it," he whispered. "You just got your stitches out. You're still sore…"

"I know that," she snapped, before rubbing her forehead and taking a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I just need to get out. Do something. Anything other than lay on the couch."

"So head down to the coffee shop and Skype them," Ed suggested, almost desperately. "It's a two hour train into the city, plus the hot subway, then how long will you spend at the precinct before coming back? Olivia…it's too much…"

"Would you stop treating me like I'm glass, Ed?" She said, her tone firm and her eyes narrow as she turned to fully face him with her hands on her hips. "This isn't up for debate. Carisi called for my help and I'm going in."

"Fine," he said, throwing his hands up and walking away. "Just gimme a minute and I'll drop you at the station…"

Olivia watched him walk away, knowing full and well she should ease up on him. Her husband was just worried. But when Sonny called and told her about the case, the victim, she was hooked and gave herself no choice but to go in.

A few minutes later, they were in the truck heading towards Southampton station, neither speaking to each other. Ed had the radio on, but it was so low Olivia could barely make out the lyrics. She leaned her head against the window and watched as they passed pedestrians who were out enjoying the perfect June day.

Hearing Ed let out a side, she sat up a bit and looked over at him, watching how he gripped the steering wheel as his jaw shifted a bit, showing that he was deep in thought and trying to talk himself down from his anxiety.

"Thanks for driving me," she said softly, hoping to break the ice that had formed between them in the last half hour.

"Of course," he said, his eyes darting quickly over to her, before focusing back on the road. "Just because I'm frustrated doesn't mean I'm not going to take care of ya…"

"Ed…" she began, but then stopped for a minute to try and collect her thoughts. Realizing too much time had lapsed since she muttered his name, she put a soft smile on her face and turned to her age-old phrase. "I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry so much."

"I'm always going to worry," he said. "And yeah, I think this is too much, too soon. But I also know there's no convincing you otherwise."

Olivia swallowed a bit, but kept her eyes on her husband's form as he turned left into the station parking lot. Putting the car in park, he took his seatbelt off and shifted, so he was facing her as well.

"Take a cab from Penn Station to the precinct, please," he finally said quietly, reaching out and running his fingertips along her jawline. "And make sure you sit down whenever you can at the 1-6…."

"Okay," she conceded, knowing that her husband was likely right about this being too soon for her to go traipsing into New York City to consult on a rape case. But even though Olivia Benson-Tucker was retired, Special Victims was still in her blood, and this just proved it.

"You sure I can't go with you? I won't even go up to the 1-6, I'll just go bother 1PP for a bit…" he said, making one last plea for her to at least not go in alone.

"Ed, I'm fine," she said, offering him a smile and leaning over to kiss him softly. "I'll text you along the way and I'll make sure Rollins looks out for me while I'm there…"

Ed let out a deep breath and leaned over the center console for one more kiss, deepening it quickly and making sure that Olivia knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how much he loved her and just how desperate he was for her to be okay.

Finally pulling away, gasping for air, the couple looked at each other before Ed reluctantly backed down so they would not part on rocky terms.

"Get the sonofabitch," he said. "And then get your cute little butt back home to me…"

"Always," she responded with a smirk, hoping her use of his usual monicker would officially smooth things over.

It did.

* * *

"Lizzie, don't go too far sweet girl," Charlie said, as she watched her now three-year-old run around the spray pad that sat alongside Sag Harbor's waterfront park. Her and Trevor had decided to take the day off, let Lizzie skip daycare, and spend the day just the three of them. Surprised that she brought it up, Trevor quickly moved into action, hitting up the store for all the perfect picnic supplies before packing them up and heading to the water.

He held Charlie's hand in his own as they drove along, occasionally stealing a glance at her as she watched out the window. Her face was relaxed, more relaxed than he had ever really seen it, and her eyes were light. Trevor wasn't sure what came over her, but he was not going to question it. In fact, he was going to take full advantage of every moment.

"Lookit," he said softly, nodding towards the area where Lizzie was cautiously testing the water temperature, before plopping herself right on top of one of the built in fountains that sprayed into the air. As soon as the water hit her body, she let out a loud cackle which caused both of her parents to break into large grins.

"My little fearless girl," Charlie said fondly, before leaning back into Trevor and allowing him to wrap his arms around her and settle his chin on her head.

"Two fearless girls," he said softly, squeezing her gently and smiling more when he felt Charlie's hands grip his around her midsection. "You seem happier…"

"I am," she allowed, not moving from her spot wrapped in his embrace. "I am…"

"Me too."

A few minutes passed and Trevor felt her take a deep breath before turning around and facing him, sitting cross legged.

"Trevor…" she began, before turning around and checking on Lizzie once more. Trevor saw the deflection, and reached for her face, turning her back to him.

"I'll watch her," he said gently. "Talk to me…"

"I don't wanna run anymore," she said, figuring she should just go all in before she lost her nerve.

Trevor's eyes widened, as he took another glance at a very content Lizzie, before moving closer to his girlfriend.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…that…I know I've been hesitant and distant since you got back," Charlie said, reaching up and stroking his stubbled cheek. "And I don't wanna do that anymore. I want to be us. I want to be a family, Trevor…"

"I…" he said, again darting his eyes to the water area before leaning in and kissing Charlie hard. It was quick, but somehow he managed to convey just how happy and relieved he was to hear her say that. As he pulled away, he noticed a small smile creep along Charlie's face and he mirrored it. "A family…" he whispered to her.

"A family," she reiterated, leaning up for one more quick kiss before turning around and settling back against his chest, where she started off, and watching their daughter.

"I love you," he said softly, kissing the top of her head and holding her close. "I love you so much."

* * *

"DADDY I CATCHED IT!" Noah yelled, as he caught the bright green nerf football and took off towards the driveway, which he and Ed had labelled as the 'endzone'. Once he got there, Ed caught up to him and lifted him into the air in celebration.

"Noah! Noah!" he chanted, tossing the little boy as if he were light as a feather, as Noah just laughed and laughed. Finally, placing him back on the driveway, he gave him a high-five. "Great catch, pal."

"We winned!" he said happily, skipping around and dancing a bit before stopping in his tracks. "Daddy, it Mr. Fred!"

Ed looked up and sure enough their neighbor was walking up the drive, waving to the father and son duo.

"Hello, Tuckers," Fred Weber said, making his way up the drive. "Nice catch there, No."

"Thanks, Mr. Fred!" he said happily. "I pract-is-ing with Daddy before little league."

"Olivia's letting you sign him up for football?" Fred asked, his eyes wide in surprise. Ed threw his hands up, as if he were innocent.

"That's between her and Noah, right son?" Ed said. "I'm staying out of it…"

"Right…" Noah said, a little deflated. Almost as if he knew that his mother was going to say no. "Mommy worry about my head. But my head just fine, Mr. Fred."

The older men let out a little laugh and watched as Noah scurried over to where the football sat on the grass, pick it up and pretend to run around invisible defenders.

"He's growing up fast," the neighbor said, causing Ed to let out a sigh.

"He really is," he agreed, crossing his arms against his chest. "Too fast…"

"Well, Eddie, I just wanted to stop by and letcha know we listed the house today…"

"Oh wow," Ed responded, turning to eye the older man. "Finally had enough of New York winters?"

"Oh yes," he said. "Convinced Betsy that she would be just as happy in Florida…so the agent came today and we are off!"

"We've enjoyed living next to ya, Fred," Tucker said, patting the man on the back. "I know Liv will miss Betsy's homemade pies…"

"And I've enjoyed someone else eating them…saves me a few pounds," he joked, before waving to Noah. "Better get home, I'll see ya around!"

"Yep," Ed said, turning his head back to Noah as he began to wonder about who would end up moving in next door. Shaking off his anxiety around change, he jogged towards Noah and held his hands out. "Hey, No, I'm open!"

* * *

Charlie was finishing up the dishes that night as Ed put on some coffee and Trevor got the kids settled on the couch with a movie. Olivia had gotten home around four, and despite insisting she was fine, they could all tell she was exhausted.

"How about Scrabble," she suggested, sipping her water and leaning back in the dining room chair.

"You're not tired?" Ed mumbled as he fiddled with the coffee filter, not bothering to even look over at her. He knew she would be glaring at him.

"No," she said firmly. "I'm _fine_."

"Scrabble sounds fun," Charlie said, nudging her father as she dried her hands and made her way over to the table. "Trev, grab the game?"

"Yep," he replied.

"Your father is driving me crazy," Olivia said softly as Charlie went to sit next to her. She reached out and grasped her mother's hand comfortingly.

"I know," she allowed. "He's just worried…it will get better."

Olivia offered her a smile and squeezed her hand back.

"Love you, Charlie."

"Love you too, Momma."

The men finally returned to the table, placing steaming mugs of decaf coffee in front of each place as they set up the game. Ed kept a close, but sneaky, eye on his wife as the game progressed, noticing her occasional grimace and yawn. Finally, the game came to a halt when she reached over to place a tile down and yelped a bit in pain.

"Liv?" Ed asked hurriedly, jumping up and kneeling next to her.

"It's fine," she said breathlessly, waving him off. "I just moved the wrong way and bumped my incision."

"Olivia…" he warned, eyeing her and watching her brown eyes close slowly.

"I am a little tired and sore," she admitted.

The foursome let the words sink in for a bit, before Trevor broke the ice.

"Well, I for one will not be opposed to ending this massacre early," he said, his voice teasing as he took a look at the score. Charlie was kicking his butt, and the only other person who was even close to her was Ed.

Olivia let out a chuckle and nodded.

"I have to agree with you," she said. "I think maybe an early bedtime is a good idea…"

"You go get comfortable," Charlie said. "Trev will clean up in here, and I'll get the kids ready for bed."

"Okay," she said with a smile, allowing Ed to help her stand up and lead her towards their bedroom. "Send them in for goodnight kisses."

"Will do," Charlie said, watching her parents disappear before tackling the task of wrangling to children into their pajamas.

Unbeknownst to her, Trevor was watching every move she made as an idea formed in his head. He snuck off to Lizzie's room, where he had stashed some of this things, and began to dig around.

* * *

"Better?" Ed asked softly as Olivia finally fell backwards into her pillow and snuggled under the comforter he tucked around her. He brushed her hair back, kissing her forehead as he watched her expression.

"Much," she said. "Thank you."

"I'll always take care of you, Olivia," he said simply.

"I mean…for all of it," she said, her voice a little hoarse from exhaustion. "For backing down today when I wanted to go into the precinct, and then for not gloating when I realized how tired I was…"

Ed just smiled at her and leaned down to kiss at her face, before stopping to nuzzle her cheek so he could whisper in her ear.

"I'll never gloat, baby," he said. "I just love you so much…and I don't want you to overdo it."

"I know."

"And you did over do it today, didntcha?"

"Maybe a little."

"So tomorrow, we rest?"

"Deal."

Ed pulled up to look into her eyes again before covering her lips with his, sealing the deal with a kiss.

* * *

Charlie padded back into the kitchen, having changed into pink flannel shorts and a gray tank top.

"Kids are all tucked in," she said, not looking up from her phone. "The water must've exhaust Li…"

Stopping dead in her tracks, she struggled to not drop her phone from her hands.

Trevor was in front of her, candles flickering on the dining room table around the Scrabble board, and he had a look of pure love with a hint of anxiety on his face.

"Trevor?" she asked, placing her phone on the counter as her hands began to shake.

"Charlotte…" he began, glancing over at the Scrabble board, causing her to do the same.

"Oh…Oh my…" she whispered, one hand reaching for her heart and the other to grasp Trevor.

Through teary, blurred vision, she swallowed as she took in what he had designed.

In the middle of the board sat a very large, teardrop diamond ring, with the words "Will You Marry Me" surrounding it in the tiles. She stared at the question for a long time, hand still squeezing Trevor's before turning to him. Tears were streaming down her face as both sets of blue eyes met, and Trevor took a deep breath.

"Well?" he asked, before reaching out to grab the ring and dropping down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

* * *

 ** _..._**


	25. Chapter 25

**_Sorry for the delay. I usually don't like posting little cliffs like that if I'm not sure I can update soon, but I've left you all on much bigger cliffs than that one! I'll stop babbling now and just get on with it..._**

 ** _#Tuckson_**

* * *

 **Previously:**

 _Charlie padded back into the kitchen, having changed into pink flannel shorts and a gray tank top._

 _"_ _Kids are all tucked in," she said, not looking up from her phone. "The water must've exhaust Li…"_

 _Stopping dead in her tracks, she struggled to not drop her phone from her hands._

 _Trevor was in front of her, candles flickering on the dining room table around the Scrabble board, and he had a look of pure love with a hint of anxiety on his face._

 _"_ _Trevor?" she asked, placing her phone on the counter as her hands began to shake._

 _"_ _Charlotte…" he began, glancing over at the Scrabble board, causing her to do the same._

 _"_ _Oh…Oh my…" she whispered, one hand reaching for her heart and the other to grasp Trevor._

 _Through teary, blurred vision, she swallowed as she took in what he had designed._

 _In the middle of the board sat a very large, teardrop diamond ring, with the words "Will You Marry Me" surrounding it in the tiles. She stared at the question for a long time, hand still squeezing Trevor's before turning to him. Tears were streaming down her face as both sets of blue eyes met, and Trevor took a deep breath._

 _"_ _Well?" he asked, before reaching out to grab the ring and dropping down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"_

* * *

"Trevor…" Charlie breathed out, watching the man before her on his knees, as her heart began to overflow. Her hands began to shake, causing Trevor to immediately reach out to grasp them and kiss her knuckles, attempting to wait patiently for her answer. But she remained still, clearly in a bit of shock, as her mind processed what had just taken place.

"Baby?" He asked, trying to quell his panic that maybe he had sprung this on her too soon. That this was too much for her. But he was sure he had read her words and mood correctly earlier at the park, though that confidence was beginning to wane.

Charlie began to see the panic in his blue eyes, so despite her shock and sudden bout of anxiety, she dropped to her knees, pulled her hands from his so she could cup his stubbled face, and leaned in to kiss him. She kept it brief, but as she pulled away, she opened her eyes so that she could see his reaction as she whispered her answer.

"Yes…" she whispered. Though her voice was soft, her tone oozed confidence and excitement.

"Yes, I will marry you…"

Trevor's eyes lit up, as he too reached out to cup her face and pull her in for another, deeper kiss. As he explored her mouth with his tongue, all of a sudden Charlie pulled back and winced.

"What? What is it?" He asked frantically searching her eyes, hoping she hadn't suddenly changed her mind. But she just chuckled and rubbed the side of her head.

"Nothing, babe, just…the ring was digging into my skull there…"

"Oh," Trevor exhaled sheepishly, looking down a bit before catching her eyes again and smiling. "Forgot I was still holding that…got excited…"

"Yeah, well, you wanna maybe…put it on me?" Charlie asked with a smirk that Trevor swore she got from Olivia, thought biologically impossible.

"More than anything," he said softly. The couple stayed kneeling on the floor in the dining area as Trevor grabbed Charlie's left hand, kissed each and every knuckle and saving her ring finger for last. He placed a light kiss on said finger, before slowly sliding the large diamond into place. He froze momentarily, gazing at the site of it snuggly sitting there, before kissing it one more time and then looking up at Charlie who had tears streaming down her face.

"You okay?" he asked gently, wiping her tear drops away with the pads of his fingers.

She nodded.

"I"m more than okay," she said. "But my knees are beginning to hurt being on this tile floor…"

Trevor laughed and stood up, pulling her with him and immediately engulfing her in a protective hold.

"I love you Charlotte Tucker," he said, resting his chin on her head as they swayed a bit in the dimmed room. "And I will spend the rest of my life making you the happiest woman alive…"

Charlie pulled back slightly so she could look up at him, stood on her tiptoes, and gave him a quick kiss.

"You already do."

The couple stayed like that for a bit, almost doing an impromptu dance around the dining room, until Trevor stopped and ran his hands up and down her sides.

"So, should we tell your parents?" he asked, knowing how close Charlie was to them and wanting her to take the lead at this point. But he watched as she got a sly smile and shook her head.

Taking his hands, she walked around the table, blowing out the candles, before backing them towards the living room and her bedroom.

"Nope," she said. "We can tell them tomorrow. Tonight…I wanna celebrate."

"Anything you want."

* * *

The next morning found Ed and Olivia sipping coffee while passing the paper back and forth at the kitchen island. They had both woken up unusually early and decided to spend a few moments just the two of them before Noah awoke, demanding his mug of orange juice, along with the cartoon section of Newsday.

The couple both had their glasses on and would occasionally manage to bump arms on purpose, as they lifted their respective mugs to sip and turn the pages of the paper.

"You notice the candles left on the table?" Ed murmured, clearly not actually reading as something was on his mind. But Olivia just shrugged.

"Maybe they had a late night dinner or game," she said.

Ed just grunted his response, causing Olivia to roll her eyes and pat his arm.

"Ed…"

"I know, I know," he said.

"She's happy," Olivia said looking over at him, her eyes peering above the thick, brown frames that rested on her nose.

"I know she is," he said. "I just don't want Trevor to push it…"

"I think she's ready…she just has to let herself go…"

Just as Ed began a response, Trevor and Charlie both padded into the kitchen. Charlie stretched a bit, wearing a different set of flannel pajamas than she was the night before, and made a beeline for the coffee pot. Trevor, sporting gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt, went to the fridge to grab the creamer, and then joined his other half at the counter to make up their drinks.

Neither one noticed, or let on that they noticed, the looks they were getting from Ed and Olivia. They casually poured their coffee, mixed in the hazelnut creamer, then taste tested before heading over and taking a set across the island from the older adults.

Ed put the paper down and looked at the younger couple expectantly through his glasses, while Olivia took a long swig of her coffee. She eyed her daughter carefully, watching as she took her own sip, and that is when she saw it.

"Oh my god," she gasped, her eyes widening as she slammed her mug onto the countertop and racing around the island to grab Charlie's hand. "It's gorgeous…"

Charlie leaned closer to Olivia as they both admired the ring and chatted. Her smile was unmistakingly happy and large, as she showed off their new engagement. Trevor sat tall, a smile also gracing his face, as he kept a hand on Charlie's lower back in support. His eyes cut over to where Ed was still sitting stoically at the bar, a tight lipped smile on his face and an iron clad grip on his coffee mug.

"Ed?" Olivia asked, noticing his hesitance, but also able to tell that he wasn't upset. Charlie and Trevor, on the other hand, couldn't make that distinction.

"Daddy?" Charlie asked, removing herself from Trevor and Olivia's hold and making her way around the island. She stood in front of Ed and grabbed his hands, looking down into his eyes. "Are you okay with this?"

"Yeah," he croaked out, his voice raspier than usual, before standing up and kissing Charlie's forehead and engulfing her in a hug. "Of course I'm okay with this…I've never seen you this happy."

Charlie pulled back and looked at him quizzically, before reaching out and tugging Trevor over to stand next to her.

"I'm not sure I've ever been this happy," she admitted.

"Well, you have my blessing," Ed said, wrapping an arm around Olivia who had now joined them on the other side of the counter. "Our blessing."

"I love you, Daddy," Charlie said, leaning in for one more hug and managing to get it returned from both parents, as Ed pulled Olivia right into the mix. As she pulled back, she wiped a tear then leaned into her new fiancé.

Just then, the tiny celebration was interrupted by the sound of a little pitter patter in the living room.

"Morning bud!" Ed said as Noah came into the kitchen in his Cars pajamas, bed head sticking out every which way.

"Morning Daddy," he said softly, immediately allowing Ed to hoist him up for a cuddle. Eyes closed, resting on his father's shoulder, Noah didn't immediately notice everyone else. Until he let out a yawn and looked up. "Oh, hi guys," he said, causing them to chuckle.

"Good morning my sweet boy," Olivia cooed, coming over and brushing his hair back, kissing at his head. "You sleep okay?"

"Uh huh," he said. "Good dreams this night."

"Good," she said, kissing him once more and feeling thankful that his nightmares had seemingly died down. The last few nights, the little boy had been up and in tears over his dreams. The little boy was so rattled, that Ed and Olivia just let him sleep with them once he woke up. But last night was the first night they hadn't gotten the teary eyed visitor. "Want your orange juice?"

"Yes please," he said, squirming to get down. "And my paper…"

The adults laughed as Ed helped the little boy climb onto his stool and take a sip of his beverage, before Charlie went and sat next to him, nudging his shoulder.

"What Charlie?" he asked, not even looking up as he neatly folded his comic section just like Ed had taught him. Noah Tucker was never overly thrilled to have his morning routine interrupted, even by his beloved sister.

"Whaddya say about me and Trevor getting married?" she asked nonchalantly, expecting him to give some kind of reaction. Questions, excitement, cautiousness, but he did none of that. Instead he shrugged, sipped his juice, placed it down and looked up at his sister.

"I already told Trevor it okay," he said.

Charlie, stunned, turned around to Trevor with a smile.

"You asked Noah's permission?"

"And your father's. And Olivia's."

The room was silent, watching the newly engaged couple communicate through their eyes, before Charlie hopped up and kissed him. It was quick, but full of love and gratefulness.

"Love you," she whispered.

"Love you too."

"AND I LOVE YOU TOO" Noah yelled, not wanting to be left out, and causing the family of five to laugh before the baby monitor went off.

"That's Lizzie," Charlie said, extracting herself from Trevor but he stopped her.

"I'll get her, you relax…"

* * *

Later on that afternoon, Trevor and Charlie had taken Noah and Lizzie to the beach, leaving Ed and Olivia home alone. Ed had been acting pretty odd since the engagement announcement, and Olivia thought maybe if they had some time just the two of them she could get him to open up.

"You gonna talk to me now?" she asked from her spot on the couch. Her feet were propped up on the coffee table and Ed had his head resting in her lap. She lightly ran her fingers through his gray hair, occasionally rubbing his temples, them moving back to his scalp. "I thought you were okay with this. Trevor talked to us days ago…"

"I am," he said softly, eyes closed and relishing in the feeling of his wife trying to relax him.

"But?" she prompted him, know there was more to this.

"But," he said, letting out a sigh. "It's just a change."

"It is a change."

Ed sat up, staying right next to Olivia so their legs were touching, but he rubbed his temples as if he were trying to calm himself.

"It's just, ya know, I like us all together like this," he admitted quietly, reaching out to twirl Olivia's hair in his hand like he always does when they talk like this.

"Oh, _Ed,_ " she said, reaching to grasp his hands and kiss his knuckles.

"I missed so much of her growing up," he continued. "Then…I finally get her back, and it's crisis and crisis. Her attacks, my heart attack. And things are finally better. And I love it. I love us like this. And…now…"

"Now she has one more person to take care of her," Olivia said, finishing the sentence for him. "Now she has one more person who is going to love her, and put her first. After all of those years feeling unloved and unwanted, she's just adding to the people in her life that will look out for her…"

"I suppose…"

"Ed, what's going on? You gave Trevor your blessing. You just gave Charlie your blessing. Where is this coming from?"

"I just, well, my baby girl doesn't need me as much anymore," he finally admitted, his eyes watching their hands as if he were embarrassed to say that out loud.

Olivia took one of her hands from his and cupped his chin, lifting his face so he was looking into her eyes again.

"Charlie is your little girl," she whispered. "Getting married? Won't change that. She will always, always need her father."

Ed kept his eyes on Olivia's, both sets of orbs watering a bit but neither allowing the tears to fall.

"I love you, Olivia."

"I love you, too."

"Ya know," he said, checking the time on his watch, before looking his wife up and down from his place beside her on the sofa. "The kids were gonna go for ice cream after the beach…"

"Oh yeah?" she asked, knowing what he meant, but deciding to make him work for it.

"Yeah," he said, running his fingertips softly up and down her arms. "Whaddya say we go _nap_?"

"I mean, I am a little tired," Olivia responded, faking a yawn and then smirking at his expression.

He stood up, pulled her up with him and backed her towards the bedroom, kissing at her neck and earlobe along the way.

"Ed…" she gasped, loving the feeling of his lips on her skin.

"Still tired?" he asked, his voice slightly mumbled from where he was buried in her collar bone.

"Not at all."

* * *

Olivia was resting comfortably against her husband's naked and sweaty body on their bed, both of them panting and trying to come down from the high they just went on together.

Ever since Olivia's surgery, they hadn't had quite as active of a sex life. Olivia went through bouts of insecurity about her scar, and Ed also went through a stage of being afraid to jostle her breasts too much. But they seemed to have found their groove this afternoon, with Ed taking special care to kiss around her incision while making love to her so softly, so gently, that Olivia thought she might cry.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice deep and raspy. It was Olivia's favorite tone of his, the post-sex rusty voice.

"I'm more than okay," she reassured him, before propped her chin on his chest and looking up at him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm always okay when I'm with you," he said with a smirk, knowing it would melt his wife just a bit.

"You say the sweetest things to me."

Ed just shrugged, before reaching over and checking the time on his phone that was sitting by the nightstand.

"We might wanna get cleaned up," he said. "Kids will be back soon."

"Okay," Olivia said, but she made no attempt to move.

"We should grill tonight," Ed mumbled, his lips now buried in her hair.

"Fine with me," she said. "We'll open that bottle of prosecco came in that retirement basket. To celebrate."

"Sounds perfect. We have a lot of reasons to celebrate," Ed said, despite his melancholy reaction to his daughter's engagement.

"We really do," Olivia replied, snuggling into him a bit further. "We really, really do."

* * *

 ** _Next chapter we make a time jump...and I think we need more Noah. But before we do that, how about ya click that review button?_**


	26. Chapter 26

_**Most of you probably noticed I started another story, "I'll Be Seeing You". It exists completely separate from this universe, and is slightly more 'canon', while this one is definitely AU. I encourage you to check it out if you haven't already! I'm enjoying the challenge of writing two stories at once, with totally different plots and feels.**_

 _ **My plan is to continue updating both stories as often as I can, though you may not always see something daily. While my other story has a well planned out route, I'm a little more open with this one. So let me know if there's anything you want to see!**_

 _ **#Tuckson**_

* * *

 **Two Months Later**

"Have you and Trevor talked any more about what kind of ceremony you want?" Olivia asked as she and Charlie sat out on their back deck and watched Lizzie play in her sandbox. The boys had taken advantage of the gorgeous, late July day and gone out on a deep sea fishing excursion with one of Ed's buddies. Noah was beside himself as he skipped out the door ahead of Trevor and his father. Trevor, who was trying to be a good sport, was also a tad nervous it seemed. Apparently he'd never been deep sea fishing.

"Come on, Trevor," Noah encouraged as he climbed into the back of Ed's truck. "It fun!"

Charlie just laughed at her fiancé's face as she kissed him goodbye and playfully shoved him down the stairs.

"Go," she said with a smirk. "And have FUN."

Now she sat on the deck swing with her mother and watched in amusement as her three year old dumped sand everywhere, including her head.

"We've talked enough to know we both want different things," she answered honestly, letting out a little laugh. "I want something super small, low key, maybe even destination. He wants something bigger…to invite all his law firm buddies and show us off."

"Sounds about right," Olivia quipped. "Any ideas on compromises?"

"Not yet," Charlie offered. "I keep reminding him that we have time. We don't have to rush. But he's…well, he's ready to get the show on the road."

"He's been through a lot," the brunette noted. "Makes sense…"

"Yeah," Charlie responded. "I try to remind myself of that when he gets pushy…"

Olivia stopped the swing from moving and adjusted the way she was sitting so she was able to look at Charlie and take her hands.

"If you aren't ready, you tell him," she said, looking directly into an exact replica of her husband's blue eyes. "He loves you. He will understand, and he will wait."

"I know he will, Momma," Charlie said, offering some reassurance. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. He's just…excited."

"Are you?" Olivia asked, raising her eyebrow and trying to get a good read as to where her daughter was with all of this. But her response was cryptic, as per usual over the last several months.

"I am," she said, squeezing Olivia's hands to convey that she was telling the truth. "I really am. I just don't want to move…quite as fast as Trevor does."

Olivia nodded, seemingly accepting that answer, and the two women looked out to check on Lizzie who had moved from her sandbox to the water table that was set up not to far away. She was taking the sand bucket, filling it with water from the pond Ed had added to their landscape over the Spring, and dumping it into her table.

"She's gonna make the biggest mess…" Charlie mumbled, debating as to whether or not to go stop her. But Olivia decided for her.

"She's fine," the older woman said, in true grandmother form. "Let her play…"

Charlie eyed Olivia with a smirk, before carefully watching her daughter toss wet sand all over her play corner of the yard.

"Plus, your dad may have been the one to teach her to get water from the pond…" Olivia said slyly, causing Charlie to let out a laugh and shake her head.

"Of course he was," she said. "Well, then, he can clean it up."

"Exactly."

The two women continued to sit in silence for a bit, the swing gently swaying and the soft sounds of Lizzie babbling to her toys in the background. Olivia could tell Charlie was lost in thought, and Charlie was also well aware that her mother was analyzing her, but neither made a comment about it for a while. That was, until Olivia couldn't hold back any longer.

"Charlie…" she began, her voice trailing off a bit. Charlie just let out a laugh and shook her head.

"I knew something was coming…" she teased, before adjusting herself so she was yet again facing her mother. "Spit it out…"

"I just have to ask you this once," Olivia prefaced, holding the girl's eyes in a pleading fashion. "I don't want you to get mad or defensive, but I just _have_ to ask…"

"Momma…I'll never get mad about you loving me enough to ask the hard questions," Charlie said simply, shrugging a bit and patting Olivia's leg. "So just rip the band-aid. Let's go."

"Do you really want to get married? Or are you just going through the motions because you feel like you are supposed to?"

"Wow…" Charlie breathed out, shaking her head a bit and biting her bottom lip. Olivia, immediately worried that she had overstepped, sat up a bit straighter and grabbed her hand.

"I don't mean it the way it sounded…"

"Sure you did," Charlie said simply.

"Charlie…"

"I'm not mad, Momma," she assured her, giving her a smile. "The question just rocked me, that's all."

"I guess I just have noticed you try so hard to be happy. To prove to us that you are fine and moving on. I've been there. I'm almost always there," she said, smiling a bit at herself as Charlie gave her a look that said she was well aware of her tendencies. "But, from where I'm sitting, you are not fine. You are trying harder than most people would. And I admire you so much for that. But you are far from fine, baby girl."

"I love Trevor," Charlie insisted, and she meant it whole-heartedly, but she watched as Olivia's eyes stayed on her, imploring for her to continue to talk. "I love him. And, sure, maybe I'm following the motions of how life is supposed to be. But, I finally have to freedom to do that. My life has been nothing but one trauma after the next. Until now. And I want to marry him. I want to take this step with him."

"But?"

"There is no but," she insisted, much to Olivia's dismay.

"Ya know, just because life has smoothed out doesn't mean all of your past trauma just disappears." She spoke softly, as if she was speaking from her own experience. And she was. "It's a lifetime of coping. Of moving on. Of dealing with feelings that come out of left field. Pretending that you are magically okay isn't going to help."

"I'm not pretending," Charlie responded honestly. "I'm just tired of always having something bother me…"

"So you're squashing it," Olivia said knowingly.

"Yep. I am. For now," Charlie said confidently. "Right now I want to focus on the fact that I love Trevor. And that I _want_ to marry him."

Olivia let out a little sigh before dropping the topic for now and turning so her body was facing Lizzie again. She said nothing as Charlie processed their most recent conversation, but she began to feel bad. Had she pushed her too far? She knew that Charlie loved Trevor, and she knew that Trevor would take good care of her baby girl and her grand baby. But she also knew that Charlie was still struggling quite a bit, despite the demeanor she portrayed. And, ever the mama bear, Olivia was concerned that Trevor didn't see that just yet.

"Charlie…" she said quietly, reaching out and taking her hand, her heart clenching when she felt how tightly her daughter held onto her. '"Oh Charlie…"

"It's not you, Momma," she said, her voice full of tears but none making their way down her face. "I'm fine."

* * *

Meanwhile, Ed, Trevor, and Noah were well out to sea and had just cast all of their rods before sticking them in the holders and watching for any sign of a bite.

"So that's it?" Trevor asked, running his hand through his hair before placing his cap back on and reaching for a beer. "Now we just watch?"

"Yep," Ed said, handing Noah a coveted soda before cracking open his own beer. "Nice and relaxing."

"Nice and relaxing," Noah echoed, moving to sit and mirror his father who had propped his feet on the cooler. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh," he exclaimed after sipping his Sprite.

Ed and Trevor just let out a laugh.

"You happy, No?" Ed asked, his face contorted into a smirk and his eyebrow raised.

Noah nodded enthusiastically.

"Yep," he said. "This fun."

"Trevor?" Ed asked, eyeing the other man with him and noticing he had begun to relax a bit more.

As they loaded the boat that morning, Ed got the sense that Trevor was nervous. Maybe he'd never been out on a boat before, or maybe he was uncomfortable with the fact he had no idea how to fish. Either way, after a couple hours at sea, the man seemed to let go a bit. He asked questions, expertly baited his hook, and was now stretched out in the sun and sipping an IPA.

"This is great," he said honestly. "I've never really been a fisher, and I can't say it's my idea of a good time, but I definitely like being out to sea…in the sun…just us guys."

"Just da guys," Noah affirmed with a nod, clearly loving the fact he was included in the excursion. "We gonna catch da fish for dinner."

Kicked back and in a total state of relaxation, the three men kept a quiet eye on the fishing lines. Noah would randomly get excited at a little bloop, but it would end up just being a wave that caused the slight bobble. Ed patiently explained to him that sometimes it took a while, but that they had a few more hours on the boat. Noah was dead set on catch their own dinner and bringing it home to the girls.

During another calm spell for Noah, Ed sat back with his second beer and eyed Trevor out of the corner of his eye.

"You and Charlie working on wedding stuff?" he asked, trying to make conversation but not quite sure what to bring up around his future son-in-law. Apparently that question was okay, because Trevor didn't seem bothered. He just rubbed his chin before answering.

"A little," he said. "Gotta figure out a compromise on what we both want."

"You gonna get married on da beach like Mommy and Daddy?" Noah asked, wanting to be included in the conversation. Trevor and Ed let out a little laugh, but Ed was also curious about this particular question.

"Possibly," he allowed. "Charlie wants small…so I'm researching ideas that are a little more local, but could be similar to a location wedding. That way, we can have a few friends…but it won't be anything fancy."

"That sounds perfect," Ed admitted, swigging a large sip of his beer and exhaling loudly. "Well, you just let me know what you two want, and I'll take care of it."

"Ed, you don't hafta do that," Trevor argued, knowing good and well that he and Charlie had the funds to front a wedding celebration, but it was futile.

"I'm the father of the bride, I absolutely have to do that," he said firmly, before looking and catching Trevor's eyes with a sincere glare. "And I want to. You make her happy. You are patient with her when she clams up, much like another woman I know. I want to give her everything she wants in a wedding…"

"Then I guess we are on the same page here, Captain," Trevor said, holding up his beer for a toast.

"Ya gotta start calling me Ed," he ribbed playfully, before lifting his own beer.

Noah, not to be left out, hopped up and grabbed his sprite out of the cup holder.

"CHEERS!" he yelled, as they clinked their cans and took a sip. Just as Ed went to set his drink down, he saw two of their fishing lines begin to dip.

"Hey! I think we got something!" he said quickly, hopping up to grab the one pole. "Noah, Trevor…yank the other one…hurry up…"

The guys made quick work making sure their catch didn't escape, and within a few minutes all three of them were reeling in a decent sized catch. Noah hopped around a bit as Ed took his fish off the line and inspected it.

"This one looks good, what about yours Trevor?"

As he asked the question, he looked up and couldn't help but laugh at Trevor's expression. He was holding the pole and the line, but was keeping the large, floppy fish at a decent distance from his body. Trevor was clearly not amused.

"Ya okay there, Trevor?" Ed teased him, but the other man just crinkled his nose a bit.

"This is the weirdest hobby…" he said, shaking his head and waiting for Ed to finish with his catch and come over to help him.

* * *

It was nearing six in the evening before the front door of the Tucker home opened allowing three very tired, but boisterous guys to enter. Olivia and Charlie had been at the kitchen island perusing Pinterest for wedding ideas while they waited for the arrival of their men and their dinner.

"You got some sun today, sweet boy," Olivia said as she wandered through the living room and into the foyer, leaning down to inspect her son for any sign of burn. "Did you reapply his sunscreen?"

"Yep," Ed said, clearly proud of himself for that one. "Twice."

"Great," she responded, kissing Noah on the head and messing his hair a bit. "So did ya bring us dinner?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide as he pointed out to the cooler that was sitting on the sidewalk. "We caught SIX BIG FISH"

"Wow," Charlie said, coming up behind them and eyeing the boys as they all stood next to each other with unusually proud grins. "Guess they were biting good, huh?"

"I'd call it a success," Trevor said, pretending like he had some sort of clue about fishing. Even after a six hour excursion at sea, the man really did not see the appeal. Breaking from form, he sauntered over to Charlie and leaned in for a kiss, but no sooner had his lips met hers than she pushed him away and scrunched up her face.

"Oh, gross," she said. "You smell awful…"

"Gee thanks," he said with a little laugh. "Guess I should hit the shower, huh?"

"Good guess," Charlie said, patting his butt as he walked past her. "I'll take the cooler around back…"

As soon as the screen door shut behind her, Ed got a devilish smirk and approached his wife, fully intending on kissing her hello and expecting her not to push him away. He got about two seconds of a kiss, before Olivia shoved his chest and wiped her lips.

"Yeah, no," she said, shaking her head. "You need to get in the shower too…"

"Hey," he said, pretending to be offended. "I thought you married me for better or for worse?"

"I did," she allowed and then raised her eyebrow. "But fish smell was not in the vows…so no more touching me until you shower…"

Ed took a quick glance and saw that Noah had ventured out onto the porch to leave his shoes, so Ed took a chance and leaned in further, wrapping his arms around Olivia as she squirmed to get out of his grasp. He nuzzled her neck as she resisted, but also laughed a bit.

"ED!" she squealed. "Stop it!"

"How about ya come help me clean up?" he whispered into her ear before finally releasing her and joining her in laughter.

"No," she said. "Not after that. You shower alone…now scoot…"

Mirroring Charlie's earlier motion, she too swatted at her significant other's behind as he made his way across the living room and into their master bedroom, getting ready to shower. Olivia shook her head and then focused on her son.

"Noah?" she called, walking out onto the porch and seeing him now drawing with his sidewalk chalk. "You need a bath too?"

"Uh huh," he said. "I stinky! Where's Lizzie?"

"She's playing in the living room," Olivia said. "Let's go check on her, then get you in the shower."

"Okay, Mommy," he said, and Olivia just rolled her eyes at how much easier it was to wrangle Noah into the shower than it had been Ed.

As they walked passed where Lizzie was happily playing with a dollhouse, Noah stopped to pat her head.

"Hi Lizzie," Noah said. "I catched us dinner!"

"Yay!" Lizzie exclaimed, clapping and cheering though she likely didn't quite understand what he meant. But all of a sudden, her own face scrunched up and made an identical look to what Charlie had made earlier. "Stinky!"

Noah started giggling, feeling like he was one of the guys now that someone had pointed how that he also smelled like fish.

"Don't worry Lizzie," he said. "I gonna go shower so I don't smell like da fish."

"Stinky Unc, Stinky Unc," Lizzie cooed, making her own little song, as Noah skipped into the bathroom smiling.

With everyone occupied for the moment, Olivia wrapped her arms around herself and let out a content sigh. She thought about how in a few minutes, they would all gather on the back deck as Ed tried to figure out how to perfectly grill the fish they had caught. Trevor and Charlie would likely throw the football around with Noah and Lizzie, and she would be left with a moment to cuddle with her freshly showered husband as he manned the grill. Even with the uncertainties swirling, Olivia felt nothing but peace wash over her as she thought about their life.

"It may not be perfect," she said as she watched Lizzie for a bit. "But it sure is good."

* * *

 ** _Wedding plans are slowly but surely happening...lemme know your thoughts in a review!_**


	27. Chapter 27

_**I am SO SORRY it took me so long for this update! I've gotten so caught up in fixing the mess that SVU made of Tuckson in my other fic, that I didn't realize it had been a month since this was last updated. But, here I am and boy did I miss writing this little universe. Hopefully you all are still with me, and are still interested in the way this story will end...a few more chapters left!**_

 _ **Now, did someone ask for #Tuckson lovin'?**_

* * *

Olivia had just finished rinsing the conditioner out of her hair when she heard the shower door open and felt the rush of cool air surround her, signaling her husband had joined her. Ed wrapped his arms tightly around her middle and buried his face in her neck, water now dripping off of both of them as he took in a deep breath and let out a moan.

"Mornin'," he whispered, his voice gruff and his breath tickling her skin, causing her to squirm a bit before settling into his embrace.

"Good morning, my love," Olivia responded, moving a hand back to stroke his face. "Can I help you?"

"Mmmmmm," he said. Olivia assumed he wasn't fully awake, so she just smiled and let him hold her for a bit, until she felt his tongue begin to flick at the skin on her neck.

"Ed…" she gasped.

"You taste delicious…" he mumbled, now sucking and licking at her earlobe as his hands stroked her stomach softly. "So…so…delicious…"

"That feels good…" she whispered, her head falling back onto his shoulder and giving him more access to her neck. She wanted the feel of his lips on her skin forever.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, turning her around and backing her against the shower wall, a near predatory look coming over his blue eyes.

Olivia's own eyes widened at his sudden change of demeanor, and her lower body began to feel that familiar burn of desire for him. She bit her bottom lip and tried to give him a smirk, but he had already buried his face back in her neck, nipping and sucking his way down her chest before dropping to his knees in front of her.

"Ed?" she asked, pulling her head from where it was resting against the tile and looking down at him, seeing how he was eyeing her sex as if he was about to just devour her.

"Hang on baby…" he said before placing one of her legs over his shoulder, gripping her other thigh, and attaching his lips to her clit.

"AH!" Olivia shrieked before throwing her head back again and biting her lip even harder to try and keep quiet, but it didn't work.

* * *

Meanwhile, Charlie was perusing her phone and sipping coffee in the kitchen when Noah came running in, a look of concern on his face.

"Hey No," she said, scooting her stool back and bring him into her lap for a hug. "What's wrong?"

"I hear Mommy yell," he said, his eyes wide as he pointed to his parents' bedroom. "I try to go help, but the door is locked."

Charlie raised her eyebrows at him and strained to listen a bit, wondering what the little boy had heard. But she couldn't hear anything. Standing up, Noah in her arms, she crept towards the bedroom, not overly concerned, but noting to herself that usually at least one of them would be out reading the paper by now. As they neared the hallway, she realized the shower water was running and she heard the yell that Noah was referring to. The smile on her face just grew, as did the pink coloring on her cheeks. Turning around and heading back into the kitchen, Charlie bounced Noah a bit to distract him.

"Charlie!" he shrieked. "Wrong way! Mommy that way!"

She laughed.

"Mommy is _just_ fine, Noah," she said, turning him upside down for a bit and causing him to laugh hysterically. "Now let's get some breakfast. I'm sure she will be out soon enough. With Daddy."

* * *

"Oh…my god…" Olivia gasped out, one hand trying to grip the wall while her other hand tugged at Ed's hair as she slid a little ways down the shower, her body convulsing with the intense release he had just given her with his mouth. "I can't feel my legs…"

Ed, who was busy placing light kisses along her inner thighs and occasionally licking around lightly to clean her up, just hummed against her, causing another jolt to run through Olivia's already spent body. He eventually pried his face away from her and looked up with a cocky grin on his face.

"Your legs feel just fine to me," he said, turning his head and biting her left inner thigh, causing her to yelp again before they both started laughing.

"I love you," she said, taking both hands and cupping his face as she looked down at him, the water still pelting their bodies. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Olivia," he responded, making sure she was stable before standing up, kissing her lips, and thrusting himself into her body, swallowing her yelp. "And I'm not done with you yet…"

* * *

"Oh, Charlie…" Olivia whispered as the young woman made her way out of the dressing room and stood on the raised portion of the mirrored area. She had to dab at a few rogue tears that had escaped her eyes at the sight.

Charlie stood, almost awkwardly, turning her head to the side and trying to judge how she liked the dress on her. It was a simple, sleeveless wedding gown that dipped down her neck in a v-shape, revealing a tiny bit of cleavage and her pronounced collar bone. The back of the dress mirrored the v-shape, but dipped much lower, allowing her tanned skin and spine to show a bit.

"I like the lace," Amanda said, standing up and walking around her a bit. "It's not too much, but it's enough to give you a bit of detail…"

"Yeah," Charlie whispered softly, her eyes still on her own reflection in the mirror. "I do really like the lace…"

Olivia observed her daughter for a bit, reading her body language and the way she carried her shoulders. Knowing that she was still struggling to keep her head above water with this wedding idea, Olivia searched for signs that Charlie did not want to be doing this. But there were none. Her demeanor, her hesitance, felt more inner. More personal. Almost as if she didn't feel like she deserved it, or that the other shoe was about to drop.

If there was anything that Olivia understood in that moment, that was it. Always waiting for something bad to come and uproot her happiness. And despite her confidence in Ed and their family, every now and then those feelings would bubble back up. But Charlie, she was still fighting them every minute of every day. She had hoped that dress shopping would perk her up, especially when Rollins agreed to come along, but Charlie was still quiet.

Olivia stood and made her way over to her daughter, standing on the platform and running her fingers lightly along the lacy material, meeting her eyes on the mirror.

"You look beautiful, sweet girl," she whispered, the emotion still evident in her voice causing Charlie to reach out and grasp her hand. "Just beautiful…"

"I feel…I feel beautiful in this…" she admitted, her voice barely audible.

Rollins, knowing her friend didn't want to get too emotional, gave them a smirk and crossed her arms.

"It's way better than that plastic looking one earlier," she said, causing Charlie and Olivia to start laughing, drying the few tears that had appeared.

"For real," Charlie said, shaking her head. "That was so uncomfortable. And I looked like a marshmallow."

"You still looked beautiful," Olivia insisted. "But the dress…well…it was pretty bad…"

The ladies dissolved into another round of laughter as they remembered how awkward Charlie looked and moved around in that garment. Their boisterousness finally got the attention of the salesperson.

"How is this one?" the lady asked, her shrill voice causing Charlie to shudder a bit, before she plastered on a smile for the older, stand-offish lady who was somewhat helping them.

"I…" she began, biting her lip and admiring herself again, turning around a bit with Olivia's help, before breaking into the biggest smile that had graced her face in a long time. "I love it."

* * *

"Mr. Langan," a short, bald man stood to greet the tall, dark, and handsome Trevor Langan as he made his way into the office. "Derrick Smith. Good to see you, what can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for real estate in the Sag Harbor area," he began, not bothering to beat around the bush. He was on a mission. "My fiancé…her parents live out here and we are wanting to settle our family somewhere close to them."

"All right," Derrick said, punching a few things into his computer before lowering his glasses on his nose and looking over to Trevor. "Budget?"

"Not an issue," he said firmly, locking eyes with the man. "I want the right home. Money is not a problem."

"Well, okay then," the realtor said, very used to clients with deep pockets given how high property values were out east. "Let's take a look at what's already on the market."

He printed out several sheets and handed them to Trevor, giving him time to take a look before asking a few more questions.

"I assume you want stand alone, not an apartment?"

"Correct."

"And your fiancé?"

"I was hoping I could get the meat of the work done," Trevor admitted, knowing the realtor was likely wondering why they weren't doing this together. But he knew Charlie was overwhelmed and decided he could do the research part, then show her some already vetted properties, hoping it would ease her anxiety.

"Lucky lady," he replied.

"There's a house that is actually on the market, next door to her parents," Trevor mentioned. "Do you have specs on that?"

He wrote the address down and curiously watched as the realtor searched for the house.

"Aha," he said, hitting print and sliding the sheet over. "There is an offer already in on this house, unfortunately."

"Has it been accepted?"

"Not according to this," he said, handing Trevor the details on the house he inquired about. It seemed perfect. "Lemme call my colleague. You'd have to move fast…"

"I'll do whatever I have to do to make her happy."

* * *

Charlie and Amanda walked down the main drag of East Hampton, a few shopping bags in their hands as they debated on a spot for lunch. Olivia had left them to the rest of the afternoon, once Charlie had made her decision on the dress, and was heading home to check on Ed and get some things done before Noah was back from school. She also secretly was hoping that Rollins could get more out of Charlie about how she was feeling, but Amanda was quickly realizing it would be a challenge.

"How hungry are ya?" she asked, stopping in front of a little cafe that served light salads and soups.

Charlie paused as well and peered in.

"This actually looks perfect," she said, opening the door and leading them into the establishment, requesting a corner booth. The girls got settled, stuffing their bags under the table, and placing their drink orders.

"You excited now that the dress is out of the way?" Rollins asked, deciding her approach should be somewhat direct.

Charlie nodded.

"Yes," she said. "I felt so uncomfortable surrounded by all those gowns, other brides, the saleswoman. So awkward. So not me."

"I feel ya," she responded. "I felt out of place and I wasn't even trying anything on."

"It's weird, ya know?" Charlie continued, feeling comfortable divulging her personal thoughts to the blonde, who had stood by her in a way no friend ever had. "I keep waiting for something to happen. To fall apart. But every time I panic, Trevor is just…right there. Steady. Patient."

"He's a good man, Charlie," Amanda said firmly. "He loves you and Lizzie a lot. That much is obvious."

"Momma thinks I'm having second thoughts," she admitted. "Maybe I am. But not about Trevor…or my family…it's…I can't explain it."

"I get it," Rollins allowed. "You're not used to things being good for extended periods of time. It makes sense you are hesitant to believe this will work out."

"Exactly," Charlie sighed out, glad the woman understood. "Exactly."

"You talk to Trevor about it?"

"A little," she shrugged. "He's so excited. Went to talk to a realtor today, even though he thinks I don't know…"

Amanda just laughed.

"He should know by now you figure this stuff out," she said, shaking her head and noticing Charlie picking at her napkin. "What is it?"

"You know Tessa?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, it's customary, or so I've read, to ask her to be in the wedding," Charlie said softly. "But…if I'm honest, I'm still not quite over the fact that she knew Trevor was in WP the whole time…"

"Ah," Amanda said, sitting back and eyeing Charlie as the girl continued to spill what had really been bothering her.

"I mean, I know all the reasons and I understand them. I really do," she said, and it was clear she meant the words. "But that doesn't make it easier to deal with, ya know? To feel like they betrayed me."

"Have you forgiven Trevor?"

"Yes," Charlie said firmly. "I get why, and honestly if I had known, yes I would've been relieved but it would have been so hard. So fucking hard. And dangerous. He was protecting me. Our daughter."

"But Tessa wasn't…" Rollins finished for her.

"Maybe she was," the girl shrugged. "But I can't quite get past it…and I don't even recognize what the feeling is."

"I get it."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Amanda said. "It's different with both of them. And honestly, I think if you explained this to Trevor, he would understand. It's not like you have a huge wedding party anyways. And it's your day. You should pick who you want, if anyone."

"Okay," Charlie said, nodded firmly, glad to have the backing of her friend. "Okay, that's good. Cuz I really think I just want a Maid of Honor and nothing else."

"I think that is perfect for your small wedding," she said with a smile. "Sounds perfect."

"Well I'm glad you think that," Charlie said, taking a deep breath and reaching for the blonde's hand. "Cuz I want _you_ to be my Maid of Honor."

* * *

Olivia wandered through the house, calling for Ed, and not receiving a reply. Confused, she stepped out onto the back porch and smiled as she noticed the door to his workshop was open. She padded across the grass, knocking on the outside wall before stepping in.

"Hey there good lookin'," she said, her mouth curved in a smirk as she watched her husband sand his latest project.

He looked up and grinned at the sound of her voice, taking his mask off and going to wash his hands.

"Hey Liv," she said. "I didn't know you were back."

"Just got in," she said, making her way to him and sliding her arms around his waist for a hug. Ed immediately returned the hug, kissing the top of her head and keeping her body close to his.

"Charlie find a dress?"

"Mhmm," she mumbled from where her eyes were closed as her husband rocked them a bit. "She did. It's…just beautiful."

"Good," Ed responded, tightening his hold and letting out a breath.

"You don't sound too happy about it?" Olivia questioned, moving to rest her chin on his chest so she was looking up at him.

Ed just kissed the end of her nose before nuzzling it a bit.

"I am very happy," he said, causing his wife to raise an eyebrow. "I am."

"You're also very…melancholy…"

Ed began to chuckle a bit.

"What?" Olivia asked, stepping back a bit with her hands on her hips.

"Melancholy?" he said, still rumbling with laughter.

"Well, how else would you describe yourself right now?" she retorted, her tone indignant and a bit defensive. Ed just shook his head.

"Okay, you're right," he conceded, but the smile was still on his face. "I'm… _melancholy_."

Rolling her eyes, Olivia grabbed his hand and led him out of the workshop and to the hammock they had placed in the yard. Once they both climbed in and were wrapped up in each others' arms, she patted his chest and pressed a bit more.

"Why?"

Ed just let out a sigh, kissing her forehead before settling his chin on the top of her head.

"Time just is moving too fast," he admitted.

"Go on…"

"I feel like we've talked a little about this before," he said softly, the hammock softly rocking them in the breeze and calming his swirling emotions as he confessed his worries to Olivia. "But we just got our family together, on solid ground. And now…well, I just don't want to lose what we've built with Charlie…"

"Oh, Ed," Olivia said, rubbing his back. "She's always gonna be your daughter. Our baby girl."

"I know," he said. "And I know she's an adult. But it doesn't feel like we've had enough time with her before she's…out from under our wings. We got such a late start…missed so much of her life…"

"I get that, baby," Olivia responded, the emotion palpable in her voice as well. "I really do. But, like I said before, we can't go back and change the past. All we can do is focus on the here and now."

"I just wish I could fix her pain. Her insecurities. Her fears," he said. "I've failed her so many times…"

"Stop it," Olivia said, pulling back a bit so she could look into Ed's downcast, blue eyes. "Stop it. You are right here. Loving her. And that is what matters."

"How did I get so lucky?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her.

"Ed, you are a good man. A good father. A good husband," Olivia continued, clearly not done reassuring him. "And part of what makes you that amazing? Is how much you care. How much you love us. And how much you feel the pain of your family. But…don't let that cause you to miss what's happening right now."

"And what's that?" he pressed, nose to nose with his wife, breathing in the same air and perfectly content to hold her forever.

"Your daughter planning her wedding. Noah learning coach pitch baseball. Lizzie talking more and more. Trevor moving part of his firm out here, so that they can live close by. You got the best report from your doctor since your heart attack. I no longer have that pesky mass in my breast. And the fact that I have never, ever, loved you more than I do right in this moment, Ed Tucker."

* * *

 ** _Well, thoughts? Let me know if you are still with me!_**

 ** _#Tuckson #Endgame_**


	28. Chapter 28

_**I know, I know, it's been a while. I really hope you guys are still interested in the story because I think I finally have a clear idea and path for how it will proceed! So, without further rambling, re-familiarize yourself with our little family and let's continue!**_

 _ **#TucksoNoahLie**_

* * *

Olivia came wandering out of the bedroom, clipping an earring in her ear and looking for her husband. She heard him return from taking Noah to school, but he didn't make a beeline for her as he usually did. Enjoying a rare morning of being able to do her hair and makeup without him pawing at her, she was now concerned.

"Ed?" she called out, walking around the couch and towards the kitchen. That's when she heard a loud crash. "Ed? Where are you?"

"In here," came the muffled, somewhat sheepish reply.

Olivia's head turned towards their utility room which was off from the kitchen. She wandered over, opened the door a bit wider, and a grin formed on her face as her hands went to her hips.

"What the hell?"

"I'm trying to fix this damn water heater…" he grumbled from where he was lying on his back, in ripped jeans and a gray muscle tank. "But I may have broken it more…"

Olivia let out a laugh as she shook her head, but watched him fondly. She loved watching him work. How his muscles would flex, how his brow would scrunch in concentration, and how he would often click his tongue as he thought about his next move. But even though she loved to watch him, she also knew that he had no idea what he was doing and was likely to further mess up their water heater. So she took a deep breath and squatted down at his feet.

"Babe?" she said softly, patting his leg and squeezing his calf a bit. "We need to just call the handyman. Chuck will be able to fix this…"

"I can fix our own damn water heater, Liv," he said, his voice still partially muffled because of his head placement.

"Ed…"

He let out a sigh and scooted out from under the structure and rolled onto his side, propped his head up with his arm and allowing his eyes to rake over his wife.

"You're gorgeous," he said, his voice full of sincerity. But Olivia wasn't buying it.

"Thank you," she said, before smirking. "But you're still calling Chuck."

Ed let out a laugh and stood up, groaning a bit as he stretched a bit. Once he was balanced, he leaned forward and brushed a finger across Olivia's cheek and leaned in for a brief kiss.

"Ya headed over to Crime Victims Center?" he asked, as they exited the little room and Olivia moved to turn on the coffee machine.

"Yeah," she said. "I was planning to go in anyways, but Linda called and they've got a young woman there she wants me to meet…sounds like she's been through hell."

Ed just leaned against the counter after washing his hands and admired the brunette as she got herself into the right headspace. Even several years after retirement, she could still go right back to being Lieutenant Benson, a hero for survivors, and he loved that about her.

"She'll be lucky to have you in her corner…" he said softly.

Olivia put the cap on her coffee tumbler and gave him a soft smile.

"Thank you."

"Do ya miss it?" he asked. They often had these little conversations. Bouncing off the pros and cons of the decision they made to move out of the city, to get their family settled and stable. And they always hit the same conclusion: while they both missed their work with the NYPD, they wouldn't trade their current life for anything.

"I miss…making a difference," she admitted. "Knowing that even though I can't cure rape, I made a small dent. Provided hope. Justice. Peace."

"You still do," he said, leaning forward and taking her hand, resisting the urge to hold her tightly in his chest, mainly because he was covered in sweat. "With your volunteer work…with Charlie. And, I'm willing to bet you made more than a small dent during your twenty years at SVU."

"Charlie," she muttered, brushing off his compliments as she usually did and shaking her head. "That girl…"

"I know," he responded. "I'm worried too. But we've got her."

"Yeah," Olivia said, her eyes brightening up. "We do."

They stayed just like that, eyes locked for a bit, before Olivia moved to give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Okay, I need to go," she said. "I'll be back no later than three."

"Love you," Ed said, giving her behind a quick slap as she breezed past him. Olivia, still moving, turning her head and gave him a smile.

"Love you too."

* * *

"So, what did you think of that one?" Trevor asked as soon as he stood up from tying Lizzie's shoe. The little girl took off towards the sand area of the park, leaving her parents to perch on a bench and chat while they watched her make friends.

"It was nice," Charlie said softly, shrugging her shoulders. "Seemed to have everything we would need? I loved the kitchen…"

"Yeah," he agreed. "That was a nice feature. Open. And those windows into the backyard?"

"I know…" Charlie gushed a bit, almost giving off the tone of excitement. "Lizzie could play and I wouldn't have to worry about being outside the entire time. And it was so bright!"

Trevor watched his fiancé as she spoke. Her eyes never met his, they stayed glued on the area of her daughter, and despite the excited tone her face could not look more opposite if she tried.

"But…" he pushed, wanting her to just be honest with him.

Charlie let out a long, deep sigh and shook her head a bit, looking down and picking at her flowy blouse.

"I don't even know," she admitted sincerely. "I wish I did…"

"It's okay, ya know," he responded, tucking her hair behind her ear and watching her struggle to figure out what she was feeling. "You don't have to know anything right now."

"I know that I love you," Charlie said firmly, turning her head to make eye contact with her tall, dark, handsome hero. "That is one thing I know for sure. One thing that won't change."

"I know," Trevor said, nodding, but feeling immense relief rush into his soul. He knew that she loved him, but he also knew she had been through a special kind of hell so there was a part of him that always worried that she would bolt. Hearing her speak those words to him, unprompted, was what he craved. "And…I love you too, Charlotte. I always will. And I will do whatever you want…whatever will make you happy…"

"I know you will," she said. "But I don't want you to always feel that pressure, ya know? To have to…work so hard…to keep me happy…"

"Charlie…"

"No, lemme finish," she interrupted and grabbed his hands tightly, giving him a pleading look. So Trevor just nodded, his stomach in knots.

"Don't get me wrong," she continued. "I love that you love me this much. That you try so hard to make me happy. And you do, Trev, you really do. I am safe with you. I am loved with you. That…."

She paused, her voice cracking a bit, so Charlie took a moment to check on Lizzie who was happily playing with another little boy and girl, building some kind of unrecognizable sand creation.

"Don't…twist yourself up so much babe," Charlie finally said.

"I don't wanna lose you," Trevor finally ground out, his hand gripping hers even more tightly, almost as if he expected her to scoff and pull away. But she didn't. She didn't respond, and her body seemingly clammed up, but she didn't react negatively. "I love you. No matter what, Charlie. I don't care what I have to do. What you need to do. I'm in this. Forever."

Charlie's bottom lip was quivering and her insides were shaking. She knew Trevor felt that way, and she knew she felt that way too. It was why she agreed to marry him. But it almost felt suffocating. Quickly shaking it off, she turned back to him and gave him a teary smile.

"I am too," she whispered.

Trevor nodded, knowing that she was being sincere, but also knowing he may have pushed too far in that moment.

"So that house…" he said, trying to change the subject and get them back on solid footing.

It worked.

"I liked it," she said. "I really did. Though, I won't lie. I was really wanting the house next to Mom and Dad…"

"I know you did," he said, his tone soft and regretful. "I know…"

"Any word from your counter-offer?" she asked, her eyes pleading.

"Nothing."

"Not a good sign," she whispered.

"I know," Trevor responded. He still secretly held out hope that his counter offer, along with his heartfelt letter to the realtor, owners, and other interested offer, would do the trick. But he didn't want to get Charlie's hopes up. "But we'll figure it out."

Charlie fidgeted a bit, knowing she needed to broach the Tessa topic with him. They were communicating so well in that moment, that she felt it could go one of two ways. But there was no more putting it off. The wedding was only a few months away, and this needed to be addressed.

"Hey, Trev, I need to ask you something," she said, her voice suddenly soft and unsure, gaining his attention even more so than their previous conversation.

"What's going on?"

Just as Charlie went to open her mouth, a scream erupted from the playground that startled the parents.

"Lizzie!" Charlie said, hoping up and running over to where the girl was laying on the concrete, having apparently tried to exit the sandbox, tripping over the step.

Arriving at her daughter's side, she scooped her up and inspected her closely. Her lip was bleeding, and her denim leggings were torn, also revealing some blood, but nothing horrifying.

"Okay baby girl," she said, soothing her and taking the cloth from Trevor who was now at their side with their bags. "You're okay, just some scratches, huh? I know that was scary baby…"

Trevor helped Charlie up, who was still cradling Lizzie, and moved them back over to the bench to escape the crowd that was forming at the scene.

"You think she needs stitches?" Trevor asked, worried as he looked at the way her mouth was bleeding. Charlie kept trying to get a good look, but Lizzie would scream every time she got close.

"I dunno…" she murmured. "Let's just go home first."

Trevor, trusting Charlie's motherly instincts, packed them up quickly and kept his arm around his fiancé and daughter as they walked briskly to the car.

* * *

"Something smells amazing," Olivia's voice rang out through the house as she finally stumbled through the front door at a quarter to five. Quickly discarding her flats on the shoe rug, she dropped her bags and made her way towards the kitchen, giving Noah a kiss hello as he watched a show on the couch.

Ed was perched at the kitchen island, looking off into the backyard, his phone in front of him on the counter. He looked okay, but a worry began to bubble in Olivia's gut and she didn't know why.

"Hey, babe," she said softly, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his chest, kissing his neck and resting her chin on his shoulder. "How was your day?"

"It was alright," he said, his hands coming up to grip hers as he leaned his head over to rest on hers. "Chuck fixed the water heater."

Olivia let out a laugh and hugged him a bit tighter.

"Good," she said, deciding to get their domestic pleasantries out of the way before asking him what was going on. "Dinner?"

"Mexican chicken," he said, "In the crockpot. Ready in about…half an hour?"

"Perfect," she said, placing a long kiss on his cheek and nuzzling him a bit. "Charlie? Lizzie?"

"At the ER," he said, feeling Olivia's entire body tense up in fear so he spoke quickly to ease it. "Nothing crazy, Liv. Lizzie took a spill at the park. Maybe needs a stitch or two in her mouth."

"Okay…" she said, breathing a little easier but still her gut was clenched thinking about her sweet grandbaby.

"They came back here first," Ed continued, shifting so that Olivia was now between his legs and his arms were resting at her hips, squeezing them comfortingly. "But eventually decided to get it checked out. Lizzie's a little champ though. Calm as everything as they loaded into the car, her coveted Dora icepack held to her face."

"Baby girl…" Olivia whispered, her hands playing with the collar of Ed's shirt. "Trevor with them?"

"Yep," Ed confirmed, looking up at Olivia before leaning in for a proper kiss hello. He massaged her lips with his for a bit, flicking his tongue briefly around them, before pulling back.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong now?" Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow as she refused to let him distract her with his kisses.

"You see the sold sign on the house next door?"

Olivia's heart dropped.

"No…I must've missed it," she whispered, leaning into her husband a bit more. "Guess that means…"

"I mean, we don't know for sure," Ed said, trying to keep a little hope that maybe his daughter could still have the house she wanted, and be close by. "But doesn't look like it…"

"Oh," Olivia's entire body language just drooped a bit in Ed's arms. He pulled her into him, rubbing her back and resting his chin on her shoulder, as he continued to perch on the bar stool.

"I shouldn't be this upset," Ed said finally, standing up and giving Olivia one more kiss before walking over to check on the dish in the crockpot.

Olivia, still reeling from the news of both Lizzie's incident and the possibility that the house slipped through Trevor's fingers, lingered at the island for a bit, trying to gather herself.

"Well," she began, running her hand along the granite, searching for what to say to cheer her husband up. But truth be told, she was disappointed as well. "They'll find something."

"I know," Ed said, apparently wanting to brood quietly. Olivia shook her head at him a bit.

"I'm just gonna go wash up," she said, turning to leave the kitchen. But Ed stopped her.

"Wait," he said, putting the spoon down, wiping his hands, and walking back over to her. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so…"

"I know," she said. "It's okay."

"Guess we were gonna have to cut the cord sometime," he said quickly, twisting a lock of Olivia's hair in his hands. But after that statement, it was her turn to have a look of total anguish.

"Guess so," she replied, patting his chest and making her escape. "I'll be right out, then we can eat."

* * *

 ** _Thoughts?_**

 ** _Please, please let me know in the review sections if you guys are still along for the ride - I need to try and gauge interest since this was on a break. That will help me determine one of two directions I have planned for our family!_**


	29. Chapter 29

_**#TucksoNoahLie #Always**_

* * *

"There's my Lizzie bug," Olivia gushed as Charlie and Trevor came in the front door later that evening. Lizzie was attached to her mother's neck, still sniffling a little bit, the warm Dora ice pack still on her face.

Ed and Olivia both rushed to the foyer, along with Noah, to try and help the couple get back in and settled.

"Lizzie, I get you new icepack," Noah decidedly said, rushing off to the kitchen to find another one of their character shaped ice packs for his niece. While he was gone, Trevor took the bag from the hospital and Charlie's purse back to their room, while the younger woman moved to the couch and fell against the cushions, making sure Lizzie was still safely secured in her arms.

"Stitches?" Ed asked, perching on the coffee table and rubbing his granddaughter's foot as Olivia went in to check on Noah and fix a pot of coffee.

"Just three," she said, her voice full of exhaustion that matched her blue, Tucker eyes. "But we lost the one baby tooth, so that will stink for a while until it grows back…"

Lizzie, hearing Ed's voice, finally stirred and sat up. She rubbed her little eyes, still red from fighting the tears, and finally looked over to her grandpa.

"Papa," she said, her voice a sad, pathetic little squeak, immediately breaking Ed's heart and causing him to reach for her.

"Hey, Lizzie bug," he cooed as he took the little girl and held her against his chest. Standing up from the coffee table, he walked slowly and swayed with her, much like he would do when she was a baby. Charlie just looked on with a tired smile. "Papa's here, I gotcha. You're okay now, all star."

Olivia came back in, four mugs of coffee prepared the way each adult preferred, and set them down on the coffee table before watching Ed and Lizzie with a smile. Noah breezed past her, his Mater ice pack in hand, and tugged on Ed's shirt to hand it off.

"Thanks, pal," Ed said with a smile, ruffling his hair and placing the pack on Lizzie's lip. "That was a good idea."

"You welcome," he said, pleased with his contribution, once he was assured that Lizzie was okay, he skipped off to where his cars were set up in the corner of the room.

"Where's Trevor?" Olivia asked, finally sitting down and running her fingers through Charlie's tangled locks.

"Probably taking a breather," she said softly, though her tone had a bit of frustration in it. "He was…off…at the hospital. Not sure why. Even excused himself a couple of times, once to take a phone call. So I'm just giving him space. I don't have the energy. I'll get it out of him in the morning."

"You think something's wrong?" Olivia asked, her mind going back to seeing the "Sold" sign on the house next door, and assuming that Trevor was trying to figure out how to break the news.

"No, I don't think so," she said quietly and unconvincingly. "He's just being…distant. But, I get that way myself sometimes. It's fine, just a long evening."

"I know," Olivia responded, her tone full of compassion for the strung out young mother next to her. "It's hard seeing your babies hurting…"

Charlie looked at her and squinted a bit, sensing a hidden meaning behind the words, but too tired to broach the topic. Luckily, Trevor picked that moment to return and plop down on the love seat, rubbing his face.

"Made ya some coffee," Olivia said, sliding the mug over to him and Trevor took it gratefully, sipping slowly.

"You're a god-send, Olivia," he said, eyes closed in relief.

"She is," Charlie responded, leaning her head on the woman's shoulders, her eyes still watching Ed sway with Lizzie in the large window.

Just then, Ed turned around, revealing a somewhat red and swollen smile from the two year old.

"Lizzie wants some ice cream," he announced, marching towards the kitchen. "So grandpa is gonna pig out with her.

The other three adults rolled their eyes and exchanged amused glances. It was no secret that Lizzie had Ed wrapped around her little finger, but in this instance no one was going to stop him from spoiling her. So they remained in the living room, making small talk and sipping on coffee until Ed returned.

Charlie nearly choked on her drink.

"Dad? What are you doing?" she asked, her eyes wide but a smile growing on her face.

Ed plopped down on the floor, placing the gallon sized carton of strawberry ice cream on the coffee table before situating Lizzie on his lap. He handed her a spoon, took his own, opened the lid, and proceeded to show the toddler how to just eat it straight from the carton.

"She's had a rough day," he shrugged. "So we are doing this the right way."

Charlie's smile just grew as she watched her daughter and her father. Lizzie was resting back against Ed's chest, moving her spoon slowly back and forth between the carton and her mouth. Her little eyes had finally cleared of all the tears, and she seemed content. Charlie was not about to put a stop to the spectacle.

"You love your Papa, dontcha baby girl?" Charlie asked softly, watching as Lizzie nodded and nuzzled back further into Ed.

"My Papa," she said, her words slurred a bit from the swelling, but her point was made. "My Mommy. My Ollie. My Daddy. My Unc. My Papa."

"Yep," Ed said, licking his spoon and placing a kiss on her head. "Your family."

* * *

Later that night, Ed made his way out of the master bathroom, shedding his undershirt and climbing into bed next to his wife. She was nestled back against the pillows, scrolling through articles on their shared iPad, glasses perched on her nose. Ed scooted as close to her as he could and kissed at her face.

"Whatcha readin'?" he asked, his lips still making a path along her cheek and jawbone.

"I _was_ scrolling the real estate page," she said in a teasing tone, before taking her glasses off and placing the iPad down. "But now I guess I'm talking to you…"

"Sorry," he whispered, his nose now nuzzling her head and breathing in the scent of her coconut shampoo. "You know I can't help myself."

Olivia just laughed.

"I know," she said. "And I love that about you…"

"Oh yeah?" Ed asked, pulling back a bit and watching her as she settled down under the covers and turned on her side to look at him.

"Yeah," she said softly, running her fingertips along his collarbone. "Keeps me from sinking into my own head…"

"You went there earlier," he noted, not afraid to call her out at this point in their relationship.

She just nodded in confirmation, her eyes still watching the trail her fingers made on his bare chest.

"I did," she said. "I just worry about our kids…"

" _Our kids_ ," Ed said, shaking his head and kissing her nose. "I still love that we can say that. It never gets old, parenting with you. Parenting _both_ of them with you."

"I just want them to be happy. And safe. And loved," she said, her voice cracking a bit at the end.

Ed pulled her into his arms, tangling his hand in her hair as she settled against his frame.

"They are, baby," he whispered. "They are."

"I can't tell if Charlie's happy," Olivia admitted. "She's been…well…aloof, for a while now."

"She has," Ed admitted. "But she knows we are here. It's gonna be okay."

"How can you be so sure?" Olivia asked, pulling back just far enough so she could look up into his eyes, her own brown ones swirling with maternal worry and uncertainty.

"Because I said so," Ed responded simply, a smirk growing on his face as he watched his wife let out a laugh. "There it is…that smile…"

Olivia just shook her head at him, and nestled back down on her pillow, their nose still touching as they gazed at each other.

"I love watching you with Lizzie," she said.

"I love our family, Liv," he said with the tone of quiet confession, as if he hadn't made it abundantly clear he loved his family. But there was an urgency to his voice this time and it caused Olivia to scrunch her brow up in concern. A minute ago he was innocently teasing her, and now he was dead serious.

"Of course you do, babe," she said, grasping at the hand he had placed on her cheek. "You show us every single day."

Ed nodded, now feeling an emotion he wasn't quite ready to voice, and leaned in to kiss her kips. It started soft, sweet, almost innocent, but quickly grew into a hungry desire for his wife. Without breaking their lips apart, he shifted them so that he was on top of her, settling between her legs, and rubbing his hardening member against her pajama shorts. Finally pulling back, allowing her to gasp for air, he attached his lips to her neck and bit lightly, making a growling noise.

"What's gotten into you?" Olivia moaned out, not complaining, but a little surprised at the intense need he was showing for her. He had gone from joking with her, to being near tears professing his love for their family, and now it seemed he was getting ready to ravage her. Or at least, she hoped he was.

"I dunno what's gotten into _me_ ," he said, his voice low and gravely, making the lower half of Olivia's body begin to burn with desire. "But I'm about to get into _you_ …"

* * *

Oblivious to the desperate, almost carnal sex happening across the house, Charlie and Trevor were both lying in bed, facing each other, and watching Lizzie sleep peacefully between them. At first, the parents had tried to put her to bed in her room, but Trevor watched her chin begin to quiver as they backed away and couldn't stand it.

"It's just one night," he said to Charlie, who wasn't putting up an argument. "She's still a little scared…plus I go back into the city tomorrow. I just wanna be near both of you."

Now that they were settled, Charlie let out a little sigh and moved her eyes from Lizzie's snoozing form to her fiancé, who was already looking at her.

"You okay?" she asked, reaching over and running her fingers through his hair.

He just smiled and burrowed further into his pillow.

"That's my line," he quipped back with a smirk that would usually make Charlie weak in the knees. But her mind was so far from that tonight, that she just smiled back.

"I know," she said. "But it's a two-way street here. And you've been off all night…"

Trevor just reached up and grabbed her hand, moving to kiss at it.

"Just…been thinking, I guess," he shrugged, his icy blue eyes now focused on her fingers than her face.

"Talk to me," Charlie implored, but watched him shake his head a bit.

"I wanted to get that house for you so badly," he said, his voice full of regret.

"I know," she responded, swallowing her own disappointment and tears over seeing the "Sold" sign as they pulled in that night. "You tried…you did everything you could…and I couldn't love you more if I tried."

"I just know this is so hard for you," he said, voice shaking a bit. Almost as if he were afraid he was opening the door to let Charlie slip away. "And I see you forcing your emotions down and moving along with all these plans. And I had hoped that house would make it easier. You deserve for things to be easier."

" _You_ make them easier," she assured him, her voice not entirely convincing but Trevor knew that she meant those words as best as she could. He understood no matter how easy life was for them from here on out, her past traumas would forever haunt her. Haunt them. Impact their lives. That sometimes her happiness would be an illusion, her face would be a mask. And he knew that Charlie was resigned to that fact, maybe more so than those who love her. But just knowing that she felt that way, that she was approaching life knowing that it would be harder for her, made him want to try even more so to make it easy. Simple.

Charlie watched the emotions play across his face and downcast eyes, suddenly regretting pushing him to talk when they were so exhausted from the day's drama. Deciding she needed to lighten the mood and knowing this was her last chance to talk about Tessa before he was away for a few days, she waited until he finally looked back up at her.

"I love you, you goofball," she said with a sly grin.

That finally broke the ice. Trevor, understanding her intention, let out a laugh and kissed her hand once more, before letting it go.

"I love you, too."

They stayed that way, looking into each other's eyes in silence, save for the sound of Lizzie's light snores, before Charlie once again took a deep breath.

"Trevor," she began, "I really need to talk to you about Tessa…and the wedding."

Having attempted to have this conversation at the park, Trevor knew something was coming, and his mind had been churning about what it could be. Ha allowed few moments of silence passed before prodding her along a bit.

"Okay," he said softly, his fingers rubbing her hand gently. "What about her?"

"Trev…." she began, just saying what was on her mind. "You know how I asked Amanda to be my Maid of Honor?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile, loving that she was talking to him about their nearing nuptials. It was actually happening. "I loved that idea."

"Well, good," she responded. "Because I think that's all I want. I don't…well…I'm just not comfortable with Tessa being in my bridal party. I don't even _want_ a bridal party."

Trevor released her hand slightly, but didn't lose contact. His face didn't show any outward emotion, but Charlie was nervous so she kept rambling.

"I know it's customary to ask, and I will if you really want me to. I don't ever want to hurt you. I'm just not…there…with her yet. I know it's stupid, and I should just move on, and I'm trying so hard, but every time I see her my emotions get the best of me and I just don't want that on my wedding day…I'm nervous enough…"

Trevor watched her as she poured all her feelings out, finally glad she would do so with him. But he was at a loss of how to respond to her in that moment, because Tessa was his sister. She was the only family he had left, aside from the Tuckers. And while he almost expected this, and completely understood what Charlie was saying and asking, he also knew that Tessa would be hurt. So he rolled onto his back and rubbed his hand across his face, trying to sort out his feelings so he could respond.

His silence must have stretched on longer than he realized, because by the time he looked back over at Charlie, he could tell her entire body was tied up in knots. She was biting her bottom lip, her blue eyes darting across his face, and her hands beginning to lightly shake.

"Say something," she pleaded with him. "If you're not okay with this, then we'll talk it out. We'll figure it out. I'll make this work. But…please…just say something?"

"I…" he began. "I don't really know what to say right now."

Charlie, assuming he was upset and mad, began to backtrack.

"Trevor," she said quickly, sitting up and grabbing his hand as he made a move to get out of the bed. "Look, forget I brought it up okay? It's fine. I'll ask her. And I'll deal with it."

Now standing, Trevor looked down at his frantic fiancé and his heart snapped. He knew that she would do whatever he asked of her right then. That she would ask Tessa to be in the wedding, and once again shove down her feelings. He didn't want to do that to her. But he also didn't want to hurt his sister.

"I'm gonna grab a drink," he said softly, leaning down to kiss her forehead, hoping to calm Charlie down a bit. "I'll be right back."

Watching as he left, Charlie fell back onto her pillow and let out a sigh as a lone tear made its way down her cheek.

"Dammit."

* * *

 ** _Review?_**


	30. Chapter 30

_**A tad shorter, but hopefully you still like it. Also, I want my ship back dammit.**_

 _ **#Tuckson**_

* * *

Charlie was still sitting up in bed, chewing on her fingernail while Lizzie slept soundly next to her. She was kicking herself from bringing up the Tessa conversation, but it had to be addressed. Trevor hadn't seemed upset when he left, but she could tell he was rattled.

"Fuck," she whispered, her head falling against the headboard and her eyes looking up. "What do I do?"

The door creaked open, revealing Trevor coming back in and balancing two glasses of red and a box of crackers.

"Thought we could both do with a drink," he said, placing both glasses on the nightstand by Charlie and leaning over to scoot Lizzie a bit so he could wedge himself next to his fiance and not fall off the bed.

Charlie, desperate for things to be okay, immediately snuggled into him and let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she said softly, her fingers playing on his chest. "I'll ask Tessa. It's fine. I need to get over all of this."

"Charlotte, stop," Trevor said, moving to tip her chin up and kiss her lips softly. "You don't have to get over anything. I completely understand. I just needed to take a beat."

"Really?"

"Really," he confirmed. "And…well, maybe this solves my problem."

"What's up?" Charlie asked, suddenly a bit more perky about discussing wedding issues now that the Tessa issue was resolved.

"Well, I need a best man," he explained. "And I have a few guys from work, Andy and Mark, but we don't really hang out. They don't know you. Or know us together. And that feels important. So then I thought about asking Noah, but I know you wanted him to escort Olivia…so…."

"Best woman?" Charlie asked, suddenly picking up on his idea.

Trevor just laughed and let out a relieved smile.

"Yeah," he breathed out. "What do you think?"

"I love it," she said. "It's perfect. Tessa needs to be on your side, and you deserve that kind of support."

"Perfect," Trevor responded kissing her one more time before pulling back and taking a sip of his wine. Charlie eyed him as he drank, noticing that he still seemed tense.

"What else?" she asked, taking his glass from him and taking her own stop.

"Hey, drink your own!"

She just laughed.

"Oh quit whining, we'll drink mine next. Now spill."

"Well, erm," Trevor said, shifting uncomfortably. Charlie noticed a blush creep up his neck as well, causing her brows to furrow in confusion.

"What is it, babe?" she asked softly, rubbing his chest to try and calm him down.

"Oh, it's nothing really," he said, finally rubbing his hand over his face and looking down at a wide eyed Charlie. "Just…well…the walls are bit thinner in this house than I realized…"

Realization hit Charlie just then and she dissolved into a fit of giggles, picturing Trevor trying to pour their wine as he was simultaneously trying to block out whatever noise was coming from her parents' room.

"Oh god, Trev," she said through giggles. "I know the feeling…I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," he said, his face only getting redder. "It's just a little…yeah…"

"I know," Charlie said, still chuckling a bit, but also remembering the times she's overheard them. "Good thing Noah is a sound sleeper…"

Trevor just groaned, causing Charlie to laugh even harder.

"Oh, it's _fine_ ," she said. "I'm sure they've heard us…"

His face just reddened to a deeper crimson, and Charlie continued to laugh.

"Lighten up, babe," she said softly. "We'll be out of here soon enough. For now, just laugh about this okay?"

It was obvious Trevor was still uncomfortable, and realizing her laughter was not helping, she tried to calm down and rolled her eyes at him.

He finally responded with a grin.

"They are disgustingly adorable and in love," she said. "Usually it's great, but sometimes it _is_ nauseating."

"I want that to be us, but I can't help but feel that you just aren't in this," Trevor said, shocking Charlie a bit with how serious he was all of a sudden. She swallowed hard, continuing to caress him through his t-shirt, and tried to find some words.

"Trev…"

"No, stop it Charlie. I don't want you to force yourself to want this if your heart isn't in it."

"I can't keep having this conversation, Trevor," Charlie said, her voice beginning to waiver. "I'm trying. I love you. So much. So much it's scary to me. But I'm pushing through it, because you are worth it. _We_ are worth it.

"I don't want you to be scared," he said softly, moving to cup her cheek, his thumb running along her jaw. "That's the last thing I want…"

"I'm not scared of you," she said firmly. "But life hasn't been kind to me. It's hard to shake twenty seven years of pain off in a year's time."

"I know."

"Is this enough for you?" Charlie asked honestly, making sure Trevor knew that she understood how he was feeling in all of this.

"I just want you," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "In any form. Just having you will always be enough."

"Okay then," she whispered, suddenly losing her ability to form thoughts. The man had a way with words that could render her speechless.

"We just need to keep talking, okay? Stop clamming up and going through the motions. Just because you tell me how you're feeling, doesn't mean we won't keep pushing forward. But I need you to talk to me," Trevor pleaded. "We gotta communicate."

"Okay."

"I love you," he said, starting seemingly straight into her soul. "And one day, Lizzie is going to roll her eyes are just how disgustingly cute we are together. I promise."

"I trust you."

* * *

" _Olivia_ ," Ed moaned out in the darkness of their bedroom. "Oh god, Olivia. _My Olivia_ …"

Their bodies were pressed against each other, touching in every way they possibly could, while Ed tenderly made love to his wife under the covers. His face was buried in her neck, licking and sucking gently as he maintained a slow, but deep, rhythm inside of her.

"Ed," she whimpered, turning her head to the side so he had more access to her skin. "I love you…"

He popped his head up and looked down at the woman beneath him, admiring each and every freckle on her flushed face. His eyes traced a path from her darkened eyes, down her nose, and to her rosy, slightly swollen lips. Licking his own, Ed leaned down and kissed her gently, his tongue lightly running along hers, hoping to convey just how precious she was to him. How much he loved her.

But just in case that message was not received, he pulled back and gave her a slightly harder and deeper thrust.

"Oh!" Olivia yelped in surprise, her eyes widening and her smile growing.

"I love you too, baby," Ed rasped out, beginning to move a little harder, but managing to maintain the original intent of their second round of love making that night.

Earlier, it had been carnal, almost desperate. Even after years of marriage, and both of them being over fifty, the urge to just ravage each other never went away. Ed's desire for Olivia grew stronger each day, as did hers for him. Their emotions would get the best of them, causing them to go at it with an intensity that could never be rivaled. And they both enjoyed that kind of sex, but Ed always tried to slow it down and mix it up. To make sure it wasn't always so aggressive; to show Olivia that she was treasured. And Olivia would do the same. They shared a truly perfect union, in all ways possible.

After they were done with round one that night, Olivia panting and star-fished on the bed, Ed just kept watching her. Appreciating her body. Her mind. Her heart. Her soul. And eventually, the depth of his love for her overwhelmed his entire being, and he needed her one more time.

He took his time, kissing and licking every inch of her, pausing over her scars and making sure he loved those just a bit more than usual. He spoke softly to her, telling her every single thought he had as he loved her body. And eventually, Olivia's emotions took over and she pulled his head up to meet her, tears in her eyes as she asked him to make love to her again.

"Do you….have any idea….how much….I love you…." Ed panted out, in between kisses as he kept thrusting, his hands lightly running down Olivia's sides, tickling her a bit and making sure she stayed relaxed.

"Mmmmmmm," she moaned out, her back beginning to arch as her body climbed towards a climax. "I do…."

No more words were needed at that point. The only sounds in the Tucker bedroom were that of bodies smacking together, the sheets rubbing slightly against the comforter, and the breathy moans and pants from Ed and Olivia.

Covering her mouth with his, Ed swallowed her groans as she rode out her third orgasm of the night and he spilled into her. His hands tangled in her hair, her hands gripping his sides, as they began to calm down, still lip-locked.

"Ya know," Ed finally said, his nose still touching hers. "I think we just get better at that with age…"

Olivia let out a hearty laugh, her eyes sparkling in love and contentment.

"Yeah," she agreed, stroking his cheek. "We really do."

* * *

"Noah you want blueberry?" Ed asked as he stood over the griddle in his white t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms, trying to make pancakes to fit each individual taste bud in his family.

"No," Noah said, shaking his head and fiddling with one of Lizzie's toys that she wanted taken apart. "Choc-lit chip."

"No chocolate for breakfast," Olivia said, sipping her coffee while reading the paper. Noticing that Noah was struggling with the toy, she reached out with one hand and took it apart easily, before going back to the latest article on their new president's healthcare fiasco.

"This is insanity," she mumbled, peering over the rims of her glasses and looking at her husband. "They can't do this."

"Looks like they might," he grumbled, before addressing Noah again. "So, blueberry?"

"Chocolate chip!"

"No chocolate, bud," Ed said gently, noticing Olivia was rolling her eyes and he wanted a tension free morning. "How about…strawberry?"

"Fine," Noah grumbled, turning back to play with Lizzie who was blowing spit bubbles in her high chair.

"Boooooooo," she shrieked out, looking at Ed. "Boo, Papa."

"Finally," he said feigning exasperation. "Someone wants the blueberry pancakes I made. They are my best ones."

Charlie wandered out, having just showered, and chuckled a bit as she poured coffee.

"It sounds like chaos in here," she said. "Normal. But still chaos."

"Hey," Ed said, standing up straighter and looking indignant. "It is organized chaos. And I happen to like it this way."

Charlie stood on her toes and kissed her dad's cheek.

"I love it this way," she said. "Ooooooh, pancakes! Chocolate chip?"

"No!" Ed and Olivia both said, causing her to back away with wide eyes before breaking into laughter again.

"Okay, geez people," she said as she shook her head and sat down by Noah. He leaned over and whispered in his loud, little boy whisper.

"Dey say no choc-lit for breakfast," he said. "But Daddy let me when Mommy is at work."

"I can hear you," Olivia said in a sing-song voice. Charlie covered Noah's mouth and shot a glance at Ed who was smirking as he expertly flipped the strawberry pastry.

"Shhhh, Noah," she said. "Don't get Daddy in trouble."

"Too late," Ed grumbled as he brought the plate of pancakes to the table. "But I know how to get out of it…."

Olivia's face took on a light pink shade as her husband elbowed her and smirked. She put down her glasses, folded up the newspaper, and looked up at him, batting her eye lashes.

"Thanks for breakfast, babe," she said sweetly, leaning up to kiss his chin.

Trevor picked that exact moment to wander out, dressed in his usual suit, but his tie hanging loosely around his neck. He glanced briefly at the PDA and turned before anyone noticed the red forming around his neck.

"There's pancakes, Trev," Charlie said, knowing he had to hit the road soon. "Or I can make you coffee to go?"

"Maybe to go," he mumbled, not making eye contact with either Ed or Olivia.

Charlie just smirked and walked over to him, rubbing his back.

"Shake it off, babe," she said with an eye roll. "Any sugar?"

"Nah, just black," he responded, reaching for an apple but instead his phone rang, distracting him. "It's the realtor…"

Charlie's shoulders slumped, knowing the news he was about to get, and she watched him exit to the back patio to take the call.

Ed and Olivia watched her, but she shrugged it off and plastered a smile on her face.

"It will be fine," she said, her tone strong but still unconvincing to the Tuckers. "You'll see."

"Ya know, you don't have to rush this," Ed said, resuming his task of cutting up Lizzie's pancake. "We aren't kicking you out."

"I know," Charlie said, walking over and wrapping an arm around Ed's shoulders. "But its time."

"Is it?" he asked, his eyes narrowing, causing Charlie to squirm a bit.

Trevor came back in, a huge smile on his face, saving Charlie from having to answer her dad's poignant question.

"Well?" she asked, confused as to why he looked happy.

"I don't normally celebrate another's misfortune," he began, "but apparently the other couple fell into a financial hole with investments so their deal didn't work out."

"What are you saying?" Charlie asked, her eyes wide and her heart pounding as she reached to grab Trevor's hands.

Ed eyed Olivia, who was also trying not to grin and get her hopes up, and squeezed her hand tightly.

"I'm saying," he said slowly, cupping Charlie's face and nuzzling her nose. "The house next door is ours if you still want it."

* * *

 ** _Who wants Tucker pancakes?! I know I do..._**

 ** _We've tied up a few loose ends, and the action is gonna pick up in the next chapter when we make a time jump. But first, hit that review button and lemme know what you think!_**


	31. Chapter 31

_**We are making a time jump here, people. Picking back up with the Tuckers in mid-September with the Trevlie wedding fast approaching.**_

 _ **#Tuckson #GiveThemBackToMeDammit**_

* * *

"What about this one?" Ed asked, selecting a light blue tie off the rack of the boutique and holding it up to his neck. Olivia cocked her head to the side and looked carefully.

"Maybe a shade darker," she said, flipping through the rack and pulling out two different ties. "Try these…"

They were eight days away from Charlie and Trevor's wedding and true to form, Ed realized that morning in a moment of panic that he had not procured a tie. Olivia shook her head at him, but got to work freshening up so she could accompany him to look.

Ed had been quiet as the date approached. He dutifully accompanied Charlie to her final dress fitting, swiping his Visa at the little boutique, then carrying the garment bag to his truck while Charlie and Olivia continued to rave about the lace detail. Once the dress was stored away at home, he then went along with the two women to the outdoor wedding venue they had selected to go over last minute details. Again, Ed swiped his credit card to take care of the last minute floral additions Olivia talked Charlie into getting, and they were on their way.

But the next morning, he realized he had been so focused on getting everyone else ready that he didn't have what he called his "wedding day tie". So after a stop at Olivia's favorite coffee cafe, they headed back to the shop where Charlie found her dress and started searching for the perfect tie.

"I like that one," Olivia said, sauntering up behind him and looking over his shoulder at his reflection in the mirror. "Brings out your eyes…"

Ed just smirked at her and stood up a little straighter. He loved when she said things like that. As they paid for their purchase and strolled out of the shop and onto the sidewalk hand in hand, Olivia knocked into him lightly a few times.

"You're quiet," she observed. "What's going on?"

"Just thinking about Charlie's face when we were over at the venue yesterday," he admitted. "She wasn't scared or upset, but something was off…"

Olivia nodded. She had noticed that too, but unlike Ed, had brushed it off with pre-wedding jitters and also coming off of the emotion of her final dress fitting.

"She's just nervous, Ed," Olivia said softly. "It's normal to get nervous before you get married."

Ed looked over at her briefly, still navigating the semi-crowded Main Street sidewalk.

"Were you nervous? Ya know, in Hawai'i? Or before?"

Olivia tucked her hair behind her ear as she thought about how to respond.

"I was," she admitted. "Not about marrying you necessarily, but its a big step. A big commitment."

Ed stopped, grasping her hand more tightly in his own and studying her face. He had never heard her admit that. He quickly led them over to a bench and, still not letting go of her hand, turned his body to face her.

"Did you have second thoughts?" Ed asked, wanting to get to the bottom of what Olivia had been feeling, but also hoping it would give him more insight for their daughter.

"No, not second thoughts," she assured him, moving their clasped hands to her thigh and bouncing them a bit. "Just the gravity of the situation would take my breath away at times. I kept thinking, 'I'm getting married. This is it. I'm only doing it once.'"

"Go on…"

"But then, I'd picture your face. I'd close my eyes and picture you waiting for me on the beach, the wind blowing your shirt a bit. Your eyes matching the color of the ocean. And all my butterflies would leave. And I'd be left with excitement, and a sense that once those vows were made, my life would finally feel full and complete."

"You never told me this," Ed said quietly, moving his free hand to play with his wife's hair. She just gave him a warm smile, her eyes sparkling at him.

"I did," she said, slightly cryptically. "I told you in our vows."

 _Ed and Olivia stood barefoot in the sand, Olivia's white, cotton dress flowing in the breeze as Ed's eyes locked on hers while she spoke._

 _"_ _All my life, I searched for love. From the time I was a little girl. And every time I thought I found it, I realized it wasn't love. Until you. Ed, you came along and slowly, piece by piece, unraveled every single thing I thought was unlovable about myself. You took my darkest secrets, my most vulnerable moments, and you loved them. You guarded them. And…."_

 _Olivia had to pause, as her voice was getting shaky, but she quickly shook it off. These were words she hesitated to write in her vows, but they were so important for her to say and for Ed to hear. So she continued._

 _"_ _Now? Now I understand what love is. I love you. I love our family. I love the life we've made together. I just….I love us. And I promise you, right here and right now, that I will always love you. I will always love our family. I will always fight for the life we've made. And I will always, always love us."_

"You did," Ed said, bringing himself out of his memory of their wedding day in Hawai'i. "I'll never stop being grateful that you married me, Olivia Tucker."

Olivia smiled, tears budding in her eyes a bit, so she just nodded and leaned over to kiss him lightly. But Ed was not having it. Despite being in public, he moved his hands to cup her face and deepened this kiss, running his tongue along her lips before pulling back and keeping his forehead against hers.

"Captain Tucker," Olivia said, her tone deep and husky, but also a bit teasing. "People are watching…"

Ed just smirked before pulling her back in for another kiss, unable to keep his hands off of her after their little conversation. His fingertips caressed the skin on the side of her neck as he spoke once more before devouring her mouth.

"Let 'em watch."

* * *

"Hey, Trev?" Charlie yelled from her perch on a ladder, putting the finishing touches on the paint they selected for the trim in the living room.

"Yeah?" Trevor responded, wiping his forehead with his arm. He was dressed in torn jeans and a white tank top that was now almost brown from where he worked to replaced the counters in their new kitchen.

"Does it look even?" she asked, squinting down at him. "I can't tell from up here…."

Trevor put his hands on his hips and turned around the living area slowly. The wide, over-sized bay window gave them plenty of light to observe the paint, and he began to nod slowly.

"It looks awesome, babe," he said, moving towards her and helping her down from the ladder. "Nice work."

"Thanks," she said with a smile and a shrug. "Its really coming along nicely."

"It is," he confirmed. "Kitchen should be done after the weekend, then we can start moving our stuff in."

"Oh," Charlie said suddenly, walking towards the window seal where her phone was. "I found rainbow curtains for Lizzie's room…"

She pulled up the site and showed Trevor, watching him begin to smile.

"I love it," he said. "I was really trying to figure out how to give her rainbow walls without using wall paper."

Charlie just laughed.

"I know," she said. "This will work better. She's almost three, she'll want something different soon anyways."

Trevor leaned down and kissed Charlie briefly, before standing up and patting the hammer situation in the belt loop of his pants.

"Better get back to work," he said, turning and heading into the kitchen.

Charlie remained in the living area, looking around slowly as she tried to picture herself, along with Trevor and Lizzie, making a home of this space. She saw scattered toys, an oversized couch, baseball on the television, everything one needed to see in a home. But that was when her imagination took a dark turn, and she started to spiral into what she could only call a nightmare while still being awake.

She began to see other people in her home. Her birth mother, Lisa, scurrying around and breaking things. Her first step father making snide remarks and grossly adjusting himself and puffing on a pipe. And then she saw Josh Miller sitting on the couch, looking smug.

Charlie felt her world closing in on her, and it was getting harder to catch her breath. She tried to yell for Trevor, but she was frozen, until a monumental crash came from the kitchen, causing her to let out a scream and jump back into the corner of the room.

"Charlie?" Trevor asked, hurrying out of the kitchen and straight to his terrified fiancé. "Charlie? It's okay…everything's fine, it was just the old counter-top falling…"

He didn't get an answer. Her face was pale, her eyes were wide, her body was shaking, and her hands were up in a defensive stance.

"Okay, baby," he said softly, realizing she was in the middle of a flashback, or something to that effect. "It's okay. Can you hear me, Charlie?"

She nodded slightly.

"Okay," he said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Okay, just breathe with me. See? Like this…"

He began to take deep breaths, his eyes locked on Charlie, as she slowly was able to follow his lead and breath a bit easier.

Several minutes later, as Trevor began to get lightheaded from taking such deep breaths with Charlie, he saw the first tear begin to roll down her cheek and reached out to tentatively brush it away, but she flinched.

"Sorry," he said. "You're okay."

"I….Trevor…." she said, a bit breathless, but her voice was stronger than Trevor anticipated.

"Yep, it's me. I'm right here. You're okay. You're safe."

"I…okay," she finally said after a few more minutes of collecting herself. "I don't know what just happened. But I'm fine."

"Charlie…" Trevor began, not really sure how to proceed. He knew she still struggled with panic attacks and flashbacks, and she had allowed him in on a few of them, but this felt different to him, and he could tell it felt different to her as well.

"I think I need some water," she finally said, springing him into action. Trevor jogged into the kitchen to grab a bottle from their cooler and returned, opening it for her. After she had taken a few sips, he reached out for her arm, relieved she allowed him to take it.

"Come on," he said. "Let's go sit down in the window…"

He guided Charlie over to the bay window and got them both situated on the built in seat, turning to face her and keeping a hold of her hand.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No," she said softly, shaking her head and continuing to sip at the water. "Not right now…"

"You're still shaking," he observed, his eyes not wavering from Charlie. "Want me to call Olivia?"

"No," Charlie said quickly, reaching out to stop Trevor from grabbing his phone. "No. Don't. I'm fine."

"I hate when you say that word…"

They both sat in silence for a little while longer, hand in hand, Trevor allowing Charlie to ground herself before they continued any further with their conversation. Eventually he shifted a bit and checked his watch.

"Almost five," he said. "Why don't you head next door, shower, whatever you need to do. I'll clean up here."

Charlie just nodded, biting her bottom lip as she stood. Trevor engulfed her in a hug, kissing the top of her head, before kissing her forehead then her lips.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," she whispered, kissing him once more. "I'm sorry…about…whatever that was."

"No sorries," he said. "I love you."

* * *

Olivia lifted her head from her laptop, moving her glasses to the top of her head, and observed the scene in the living room. She had been sitting on the couch looking over a case file Rollins sent over, while Ed once again went over Noah's wedding role.

"You're gonna walk Lizzie down," he explained slowly as Noah listened intently, holding onto Lizzie's hand as if he were practicing that night. "And you might need to help her throw some of the rose petals."

"Okay," he nodded. "I a good helper."

"Yes you are, pal," Ed assured him, messing his hair a bit. "And Lizzie will need your guidance, since she's still little."

Noah just nodded again, before turning to Lizzie.

"Don't worry, Lizzie," he said. "I gonna help you. Don't be scared. I hold your hand."

"Unc!" she yelled, jumping up and down a bit and crashing into Noah for a hug.

"Wanna practice?" he asked, patting Lizzie on the back. The little girl had no idea what he was asking, but as usual, followed the older boy. Noah gathered a bucket and looked around, tapping his finger on his chin as he thought. Suddenly his face lit up and he went to fill the bucket with Lizzie's foam puzzle letters. "Here, this will work. They soft."

He handed Lizzie the bucket, who held it carefully but looked confused.

"Okay, Lizzie," he instructed, moving his hands as he spoke as if he were a seasoned professor. "Put da handle over your arm like this….then I'll hold dat hand, so you can use the ovver one to throw the petals!"

Noah, proud of his interpretation of the duties of a flower girl, smiled broadly as Lizzie carefully reached in to take a foam letter and toss it into the air.

"Dat PERFECT Lizzie!" Noah exclaimed, clapping for her and causing her to giggle and dance a bit. "You da best flower girl!"

"Again!" she shouted, grabbing another foam letter and throwing it into the air.

As the two kids tossed around foam letters, Ed moved over to stand behind Olivia and rub her shoulders, both of them watching with ridiculously large grins.

"I love this," Olivia said, leaning up and placing a kiss on Ed's chin. He just looked down at her and winked.

"They are pretty cute…"

Olivia closed her laptop, set her glasses on the end table, and stood up to stretch before walking around the couch and into her husband's arms. They shared a few more kisses before she settled her head on his chest and continued to watch the kids pick up the letters, refill the bucket, and try again. Each time the letters would get thrown a bit farther, causing more giggles and shrieks.

Ed was just getting ready to slow them down when the front door opened and Charlie stumbled in, her running shorts and tank top covered in paint. But it was her face that caused both Ed and Olivia to do a double take. It was ghostly pale, and her hands appeared to be shaking.

Ed released Olivia and walked over to the foyer, taking the work tote out of Charlie's hands and trying to catch her eyes.

"You okay, Charlie?" he asked, his face scrunched up in concern.

"I'm fine," she said, almost exasperatedly, as she toed her tennis shoes off and brushed passed him. She stopped in the living room and observed Lizzie and Noah for a bit, allowing a smile to grace her face, although it was faint.

"I need to take a shower," she said distantly. "Can you keep an eye on her a bit longer? Trev is just finishing up a few things…but I won't be long."

"Anything you need, sweet girl," Olivia said, making her way over to Charlie, but she wasn't fast enough. The young woman nodded at her parents and scurried off, down the hallway towards her bathroom.

Ed looked over to Olivia and watched as her brown eyes began to fill with concern as she followed her daughter's movements, jumping slightly when the bathroom door shut a bit harder than they anticipated.

"Go on," Ed said, rubbing Olivia's arm a bit, not even needing to ask whether she wanted to go after Charlie. "I'll make sure these two don't break anything."

Olivia gave him a tight, but grateful smile, before departing towards the bathroom in hopes of finally cracking the shell their daughter had put up over the last few months.

* * *

 _ **Up next: Noah takes it upon himself to give Trevor a talk, Tessa arrives for the wedding, Olivia tries desperately to reach Charlie, and more Tuckson of course.**_

 ** _Who's still with me?_**


	32. Chapter 32

_**Thirty-Two**_

 _ **#Tuckson #Trevlie #Lizzoah #Tucksonoahlie #AllTheHashtags**_

* * *

Olivia was curled up against Ed's side, the alarm clock reading just after six in the morning. Ed had woken her up with kisses along her stomach and thighs, which obviously led to a morning cardio session between the sheets. Now they were both sated, still a little bleary eyed, and waiting for sounds of life in their house. Ed's hand was tracing little patterns up and down Olivia's spine, causing an occasional sigh or whimper as she shifted against him.

"Five days," he murmured, continuing his morning update on how many days until the wedding.

"Yep," Olivia confirmed, running her hand over his chest in an effort to comfort him.

"She seemed more herself yesterday."

Olivia just hummed a bit and nodded her head.

"She did," she agreed. "It was a good day, and I think she enjoyed seeing Trevor destroy you on the sand volleyball court."

Ed grunted in annoyance.

"He didn't _destroy_ me," Ed insisted, as he had been ever since they returned homed from their beach picnic. "I went easy on him."

"Okay, baby," Olivia soothed, patting his stomach and hiding her own smirk in his shoulder before shifting the topic a bit. "I loved watching you tho…shirtless, sandy, and a little sweaty…"

"Olivia…" Ed ground out, his hands beginning to roam all over her body again. He quickly checked the clock. "I don't think we have enough time for what I wanna do to you right now…"

She just let out a chuckle and leaned up to kiss his lips.

"Later," she promised as she sat up and stretched a bit, crawling out of bed and searching for her pajama set that Ed had tossed into the abyss about an hour ago. "I'm gonna start some coffee."

Ed continued to lounge on their bed, his hands resting behind his head, as he observed his wife move about the bedroom.

"Gonna try to talk to Charlie again today?"

"Yeah," she sighed, finally finding her cotton, plaid shorts and tank top, throwing them back on her body. "If she gives me a chance. She's been so…closed off…for a while now."

"Since right around your cancer scare," Ed thought out loud, Olivia nodding in agreement.

"She's trying to do this on her own," she resolved. "Defense mechanism, or self-preservation. Either way, I'm gonna keep trying…"

"She'll get there," Ed soothed, standing up and throwing on his sweat pants before taking Olivia into his arms and kissing her messy bed-head while rubbing her back. "She trusts you. And with good reason. She'll get there. And she's not alone."

"No, she's not. " she murmured from her spot buried in his bare chest, kissing it, and pulling away. "None of us are anymore. Thanks to you."

"I love you," Ed whispered, taking in her compliment and kissing her lips. "Go start the coffee, I'm gonna shower. Tessa comes in tonight, right?"

"Yep," Olivia called from near the door. "Let wedding week begin…"

* * *

Noah took a sip of his orange juice. He, of course, was drinking from a mug that matched Ed's, but as he set it back down he clasped his hands in front of him and looked at Trevor. The rest of the table had cleared. Charlie had to wipe Lizzie down from her attempt at eating Fruit Loops, Olivia needed to brush her teeth before her volunteer shift at the shelter, and Ed had disappeared, presumably to kiss at his wife a bit before she left.

This left Trevor and Noah alone for the moment at the breakfast table. Trevor peered over the newspaper and met Noah's curious glance.

"What's up, bud?" he asked, folding the paper and putting it away so he could give the boy his full attention.

Noah's eyes just narrowed a bit.

"You marry Charlie?" he asked.

Trevor let out a little chuckle and nodded. Noah knew this, but maybe he was just needing some assurance.

"Yes, I am," he said. "I love your sister very much."

"I love her too," Noah said seriously. "She my sister. And my bestest friend."

"I think you're her best friend too, Noah," Trevor said, his heart clenching a bit. He was no stranger to the close relationship Charlie had with her younger brother. Really, the Tucker family was incredibly close given the late start they had gotten, but the bond between Noah and Charlie was something special. Noah had provided a healthy distraction, and still did.

"She still be my best friend when you get married?" he asked, his little head cocked to the side and his eyes wide with worry.

Trevor immediately reached out and patted the boy's arm in comfort.

"Of course," he assured him. "Nothing will change between you and Charlie just because we get married. She's still gonna love you so, so much."

"She love you too," Noah said quietly, as if he were trying to process the life change. But he also spoke with a sense of wisdom beyond his years. He was protective of his sister and Trevor was best to just go along with whatever train of thought the young boy had. "You be nice to her?"

"Always."

"And you make sure no bad people hurt her?" he asked, giving Trevor even more of a glimpse into the bond between Charlie and Noah. The boy was young when Charlie's traumas were still happening, still fresh, but he also was no fool. He knew, and remembered, and apparently was determined to make sure they weren't going to happen again. Something both men could agree on.

"Noah," Trevor began, hoping he was saying the right things. "I promise you I will take care of your sister. I'll keep her safe. I'll love her. And I'll make sure you get to spend as much time as you want with her, either here or at our house. Okay?"

"Okay," Noah said, nodding and giving the man a smile. "This mean you my brother."

"It does."

"That good," he said. "I like having you as a brother."

Trevor had to swallow his emotion in the moment. The Tucker family, despite all odds, had come to accept him and embrace him, and he would never take it for granted.

"I like having you as a brother too, bud."

* * *

"Papa!" Lizzie yelled through her giggles as Ed chased her and Noah around the backyard.

"Lizzie, this way!" Noah instructed, grasping her hand and taking her for a loop around the wooden play set. Ed stopped, hands on his knees, not even having to pretend he was exhausted. He was.

"Okay," he yelled out, still a little breathless. "Papa gives up. You win."

The two kids jumped around and celebrated, before crashing into Ed's legs for hugs.

Charlie and Olivia sat at the patio table, sipping on a rose and taking in the scene.

"So Tessa is staying at the hotel all week?" Olivia asked, still a little unclear as to who was staying where as people began to gather out east. She knew Rollins and Jesse had a hotel room, Carisi was staying with a buddy, and Fin was apparently going to "wing it". But details about Trevor's sister had been scarce.

"Yeah," Charlie breathed out, her eyes staying on Lizzie. "I offered her the guest room in our new place. Since, oddly enough, its the first room that's ready."

Olivia let out a laugh.

"Well, Lizzie's furniture is still set up here, and your new set for the master is on back order, so I suppose it isn't too odd."

"True," Charlie allowed, rubbing her eyebrow in a very characteristic Olivia move. "I feel bad. I don't want her to feel isolated all week, but she declined the use of my room, the guest room, and our couch so…"

"Things still tense between you two?" Olivia asked. As far as she knew, the two women hadn't talked all that much since Tessa's last visit. They were cordial, spending time with each other and making small talk, but that was really it.

"I don't know if tense is the word," Charlie said. "I'm trying…"

"You'll get there," Olivia decided. "And, she's here for Trevor."

"True."

"Ya know, I was sorta hoping the two of us could have a day, or night, or both…together…before the wedding?" Olivia offered somewhat cautiously. All of her attempts to really connect with Charlie had been thwarted so far, and she could feel the young woman slipping through her fingers. Olivia wanted to make sure this wedding, this small ceremony, was still what Charlie wanted. Trevor had also quietly informed her about Charlie's flashback a few days ago, and now Olivia was even more determined to make sure that, beyond wedding jitters, everything was really okay.

"That sounds nice, Ma," Charlie said, meeting Olivia's warm eyes with a small smile. "I like our time together."

"Me too, sweet girl," she replied. "I'll look around for options. Maybe Wednesday or Thursday?"

"Perfect," she said before getting a sly grin. "I'm free all week….all I gotta do is get married on Saturday."

"You're okay, though, right?" Olivia asked, unable to help herself, and reaching out to grasp Charlie's forearm.

Briefly, she saw something flash through her blue eyes, but it vanished quickly and was replaced with resolve and another smoke screen.

"I am," she said. "A little nervous, but I'm fine."

Olivia, knowing she was being lied to, decided to ignore it for the time being and focus on the fact that Ed needed to get the grill going. She kissed the side of Charlie's head and walked out into the yard, slinking up behind her husband and wrapping her arms around his chest.

"Hey handsome," she whispered in his ear, kissing it then settling her chin on his shoulder and watching Noah and Lizzie on the tire swing. "Might wanna get the grill going…"

Ed grabbed at Olivia's hands where they rested near his ribs and took in a deep breath.

"You're probably right, Lieutenant," he responded with a half smirk.

"I'm not Lieutenant anymore," she quipped, but Ed shook his head and turned slightly to look at her.

"You will always be Lieutenant Olivia Benson," he said.

"Tucker," she corrected him, before moving in to kiss his lips briefly. "Olivia _Tucker._ "

Ed grinned and kissed her nose before reluctantly breaking away and heading towards the grill.

"What time do we expect the Langans back?" he asked as he opened the stainless steel top and inspected to see if he needed to wash it down before firing it up.

"An hour or so," Charlie called, coming back out the sliding doors with another bottle of wine. "Refill anyone?"

* * *

Dinner, although delicious, had been tense at best. Ed had grilled steaks and brats, along with ears of corn to accompany a side salad. Charlie kept busy making sure beers were cold and fresh, and drinks were topped up. Noah had devoured his steak, but scoffed at the salad, causing Olivia to roll her eyes but let it go given they had company.

"Thanks for grilling, dad," Charlie said, chewing her steak and sipping her freshly pour gin and tonic. "Hits the spot."

"No problem," he said. "Tessa, you like the brat?"

"Amazing," she said, nodding her head. "Thanks again for dinner, Captain Tucker."

"Call me Ed," he insisted, popping open another bottle of IPA and taking a long sip as he relaxed in his chair and observed his family around the table. "It's nice, all being together like this."

Olivia nodded quickly, her eyes darting to Tessa, who had gone to picking at the corn a bit.

"I agree," she said. "Tessa, we love when you are out this way. And I know a certain little girl who is over the moon right now."

Tessa finally smiled, kissing Lizzie's head as she sat happily in her lap, picking food off her aunt's plate. She had decided early on that despite having the same food in her high chair, Tessa's food looked better and she was not denied the chance at eating in someone's lap.

"I've missed this munchkin," Tessa said, squeezing her a bit. Charlie looked on with a small smile, but remained quiet.

The family continued to make small talk until plates were empty. Ed was about to get up to clear it away, but Charlie brushed him aside and began to do it herself with Trevor joining her. Once in the kitchen, Trevor set his load down and grasped Charlie's elbow.

"You okay?" he asked, a look of concern on his face.

"Yeah, why?" she responded with confusion.

"Just feels…weird…."

"I feel like something is off with Tessa," Charlie admitted. "I'm trying."

"I know you are," he said. "But…maybe…well, can you offer for her to stay here one more time? I just think she's feeling…left out."

Charlie's face softened and she leaned up to kiss Trevor's cheek.

"Absolutely," she said genuinely. "I want her to feel welcome."

"I love you," he responded with a smile, brushing his finger across her cheek.

"Love you too."

Right before their lips locked, the siding door opened and Tessa crept in.

"Oh," she said, realizing she interrupted something. "Sorry…"

"It's alright," Charlie said with a giggle, pushing her fiancé away and to the door. "He was just leaving. What's up?"

Trevor laughed and shook his head, before kissing Tessa on the head and heading back outside, having been banished.

"Lizzie wanted more juice," she said quietly, suddenly appearing to be nervous and fidgeting a bit with the cup.

"I bet she does," Charlie said with a smile and an eye roll. "She needs water…but I'm not gonna push it tonight."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to promise her something…" Tessa said.

"Hey, it's fine," Charlie reassured her, taking the cup and grabbing the apple juice. "She needs her aunt to spoil her a little…"

"Yeah…"

Charlie refilled the cup, replaced the lid and wiped her hands on her shorts before taking a deep breath.

"Tess, are you sure you don't wanna stay here?" she asked, before continuing more quickly than intended. "I mean, Lizzie would love a sleepover. Or you could have the couch. Or you could even have my room and I'll stay with Lizzie…"

"Charlie…"

"I just don't want you to feel…far away…while you're here."

"Isn't that what you want?" Tessa finally asked, her eyes narrowed and staring down her soon-to-be sister in law.

Charlie was taken aback.

"What?"

"Oh cut the innocent crap, Charlie," Tessa spat out. "My brother is so goddamn smitten with you. You don't have to pretend to like me. He will still marry you."

"Tessa, I'm not pretending. Look I'm sorry if things were strained, but I'm so glad you're here and that you'll be my sister…"

"Ha! Spare me the bullshit," Tessa cut her off. "Ya know, I told myself I'd bite my tongue, play the game, be all nice and happy out here…and I will…but you should know this: just like Trevor is marrying you, and into your family…you are doing the same."

"Tessa, what are you talking about?" Charlie finally asked, her hands shaking from the confrontation but she was genuinely confused. The woman wasn't making any sense, at least to her, in that moment.

"Trevor is my brother. You don't get to just take him away from me."

"I'm not, I promise. Tessa, please…"

But the female Langan was too far into her misery, and her alcohol, to stop at that point. It was an inevitable, long over-due, collision.

"You came in here, all cute and innocent and 'look at how hard my life has been' and you sunk your claws into him and he loves you so fucking much its disgusting, but you don't get to take my brother away…"

Charlie was dumbfounded, and really wasn't sure how to respond. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, willing the tears back and refusing to show any emotion in front of Tessa. Her face remained a rock, and she stood there allowing Tessa to get whatever emotion out she needed to. Luckily, the women were saved from more hurtful comments by the door opening and Trevor walking in. He took one look at the two of them and immediately knew something was wrong.

"Everything okay?" he asked warily, walking towards them slowly. Tessa just scoffed and stormed off towards the bathroom. Charlie just shook her head and gave him a smile.

"It's fine," she said. "But…maybe you should talk to Tessa."

"What did she say?" Trevor asked, his voice deep and his eyes narrow. Charlie could fool a lot of people, but she couldn't fool him. Her eyes were hurt and confused, and he wanted to know what was going on.

"Trevor," she sighed out. "I'm fine. But she's not. Go talk to _her_."

Reluctantly, he turned and ran straight into Tessa who had returned, but was still fuming.

"I'm going to my hotel," she said, her purse over her shoulder and sunglasses on her nose.

At this point, Ed had also made his way in with the leftover trays from the grill and immediately knew he walked in on something.

"Thanks again for dinner, Captain Tucker," Tessa said, turning her charm back on briefly. "But this jet lag is catching up, so I'm going to head to my hotel."

Ed just nodded in confirmation, and informed her they would see her tomorrow, before moving to the sink and trying to give the young adults room to work out whatever had happened.

"I'll take you," Trevor said, not giving her a chance to argue. He took one more glance back at Charlie, who had her arms wrapped around her middle but an encouraging smile on her face. She stayed that way until she heard the slam of the front door, and her bottom lip finally began to tremble.

"What happened?" Ed immediately asked, turning around and reaching for Charlie, but she shrugged him off.

"Nothing," she said, her voice finally cracking. "Tessa's just…"

Her vision was blurry, eye burning as she desperately fought the tears that built, but it was futile. She finally just threw her hands up, keeping Ed from coming closer, and tried to excuse herself.

"I just need a minute."

He was about to argue, but his wife's voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Ed?" Olivia called from the patio. Charlie just smiled as she made her exit.

"Go check on Momma," she said. "I'll be out in a bit."

* * *

 ** _Its all finally coming to a blow...can they salvage the wedding?_**

 ** _Up Next: Tessa makes her case to Trevor, Olivia takes another crack at Charlie, and Ed takes the kids of late night ice cream._**

 ** _But first...review?_**


	33. Chapter 33

_**Thirty-Three**_

 _ **#Tuckson**_

* * *

Olivia knew something was wrong as soon as Ed stepped back out onto the patio, and she wasted no time questioning him about it.

"What's going on?"

"I honestly have no idea," Ed answered, running his hand over his face before sitting down next to his wife. He looked out and saw that Lizzie had already made her way back to her water table, and Noah was singing while playing on the nearby swing set.

"Ed?"

"Trevor took Tessa to the hotel," he said softly, as if anyone was there to overhear them. "Seems like her and Charlie had a confrontation, but no surprise, our girl has clammed up and retreated to her room."

Olivia closed her eyes as she took in the information and shook her head a bit before re-opening her eyes to meet Ed's.

"I had a feeling…" she said cautiously, before swigging the rest of her wine and standing up. "I'm gonna go check on her."

Ed grabbed her hand as she passed him, pulling her back and onto his lap briefly. He brushed her hair back gently and kissed at her face, nipping a tad at her chin and jaw, before landing on her lips.

"I love you," he said, and Olivia recognized his tone. It was one of uncertainty and worry, but also one of love and admiration. It was a tone he used with her often. "Go help our girl."

Olivia gave him a closed lip smile and placed her forehead against his.

"If she'll let me," she whispered. Giving him one more kiss, she hopped up and made her way to the door, Ed keeping her hand in his for as long as he could before she was out of reach.

Olivia made her way through the kitchen, stopping to grab a bottle of water just in case, and headed back towards Charlie's room. The door was closed, so she stood outside of it to try and come up with a plan, until she heard a sob escape her daughter's lips and all waiting was off. Knocking twice, Olivia opened the door before she even got the go ahead and slipped in, closing it softly behind her.

"Oh, sweet girl," she breathed out, taking in the sight. Charlie was curled on her side, facing away from Olivia and looking out the window while hugging a pillow to her chest. Her body shook as she fought to control her cries, but the sniffling and occasional whimpers gave her away.

Olivia wasted no time toeing her shoes off, placing the bottle of water on the nightstand, and crawling into bed with her daughter. She curled up right behind her, reaching over and moving her hair out of her face before kissing her cheek and resting her forehead on the side of Charlie's head.

She didn't say anything for a little bit, just allowed herself the comfort of having Charlie tucked in next to her and tried to offer her silent support. Eventually Charlie reached for her one hand that was wrapped around her waist and held it tight.

"Dad okay with Lizzie?" Charlie asked, her voice hoarse and shaky. Olivia just nodded against her temple.

"Just fine," she assured her, using her free hand to stroke her hair as she lifted her head a bit and looked at Charlie's profile. "Wanna talk about it?"

Charlie didn't say anything at first. Instead, she snuggled in further to Olivia and took some deep breaths. The older brunette just gave her time, keeping a tight hold on her hand and playing with her hair.

"Tessa say something?" she implored. Ever the detective, she was unable to let the silence continue for too long. Olivia wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"Yeah," Charlie whispered. "Thinks I'm stringing Trevor along, playing the victim, taking advantage of him…"

"What?" Olivia spat out softly, careful of her reaction but she was flat out pissed at that revelation. "She said that to you?"

"Well, she was a little nicer about it."

"There's no nice way to say that."

"Touché," Charlie said, chuckling a bit before reaching for a tissue and sitting up. She settled back on the headboard, Olivia doing the same, and they both turned their heads to face each other. After a small pause, Charlie took a deep breath and whispered out the beginning of her turmoil. "Am I doing the right thing?"

"Only you can know that answer to that, Charlie," Olivia said softly, but reaching out to grab her hand so they had a little connection while they talked. She squeezed it tightly, hoping to convey her support, but also her relief that she was opening up to her finally.

"He makes me feel safe," she admitted softly. "And we have fun together. And he's so great with Lizzie. I just…"

"What?" Olivia pressed gently. "What is it?"

"I feel like he deserves better…or more…than what I can give him."

Charlie spoke her admission so quietly that Olivia barely heard her. But she had, and it took her breath away. She took her free hand and reached over to cup Charlie's face, searching her eyes and thinking of how to respond.

"My sweet girl…" Olivia whispered. "How long have you been thinking that way?"

Charlie just shrugged, taking her hand out of Olivia's and instead lightly tapping the palm of the older woman's hand, a seemingly soothing distraction for both of them.

"Always, really," she confessed. "I mean, it's no secret that I'm a little fucked up."

"Charlie…"

"No, wait," she interrupted, needing to get everything off her chest now that she had started. "I know what you're gonna say Momma, and I love you for it. But come on. The reality is that I struggle, every day, to be normal. To live my life. To not collapse under the weight of everything. And I've come a long way, but I'm not there yet. I may never get there. Wherever 'there' is."

She paused, clicking her tongue a bit to try and push the tears down. Charlie was tired of crying.

"I know that Trevor loves me," she continued. "I know that you, and Daddy, and Noah, and Lizzie. You all love me and support me and have my back, and that is just _everything_. It's everything to me. But I worry that, eventually, Trevor will get tired. Or he'll regret this."

Olivia stayed quiet for a while, her eyes never leaving Charlie's as they let those words, and the admission, sit between them.

"Is this what has been bothering you all this time?"

"The root of it, yeah," Charlie nodded, giving her a small smile. "I thought, I hoped, I could just…deal with it on my own. And for once not be this burden for you, or dad, or Trevor. But…"

"Tessa?" Olivia guessed, having figured that the other woman's words finally triggered the breakdown of Charlie's walls.

"She hit a little too close to home," she admitted. "I don't think she meant what she said. She was tipsy, and the tension was high and that's my fault. But, the words stung."

"Charlie," Olivia stated, sitting up a bit more and turning to face her, cupping her face with both hands. "What you've accomplished? How far you've come? You've defied all the odds. You haven't let anything beat you. I am so incredibly proud of you. And I am so honored, and grateful, to be your Momma. And Trevor…he loves you. He wants to be with you, for better or for worse. Don't doubt yourself. Don't doubt what you can offer him. Because you're my little warrior. My little fighter. _Look how far you've come_ , baby girl. Don't give up now."

Charlie, despite not wanting to cry, had tears streaming down her face as Olivia spoke to her. She spoke words into her soul that she longed to hear, and didn't even realize how badly she needed. Reaching up, she gripped Olivia's forearms and tried to offer her a smile, but it came out with a sob.

"Okay," Olivia said softly, settling back against the headboard and pulling Charlie into her chest. "Okay, I've gotcha. It's okay."

Charlie tucked her head into Olivia's shoulders and took some deep breaths, letting the woman hold her tightly. She allowed herself to let the words permeate, to take strength and comfort from the woman who chose to be her Momma all those years ago, and eventually she felt the emotional fog begin to clear.

"Ya know," Olivia began, not quite done. "Just because you're marrying Trevor, and moving next door, doesn't mean you can't come to me with this. It doesn't mean you are on your own. Please, please don't ever shut me out. Always talk to me."

"I'm sorry," Charlie said softly.

"No sorries," she responded. "I do the same thing. Just ask your dad."

Charlie let out a laugh, before sitting up and reaching for the tissues again. She dabbed at her face before leaning back in against Olivia.

"Love you, Momma," she whispered, closing her eyes and just breathing.

"Love you too," Olivia whispered back, kissing her head before lifting her eyes up to send up a thank you for finally cracking her daughter's shell. "Love you, too."

* * *

The ride to Tessa's hotel was silent, and when they pulled into the parking lot Tessa expected her brother to just drop her off. So she was surprised when he parked the car, turned off the ignition, and moved to get out.

"Won't Charlie be upset that you aren't back home?" she asked, still some venom in her voice. But it didn't phase Trevor. He knew she was halfway to being trashed, and he also understood there was more to her outburst.

"No," he said. "She trusts me. And she, as well as I, want to make sure you are okay."

"I'm fine."

"Nice try," Trevor said. "I'm now an expert at reading right into that word."

"Whatever, come in if you want," Tessa said, grabbing her purse and heading across the parking lot, before calling over her shoulder. "You can run the tab on your card…"

Trevor just laughed and scratched the back of his head. This was going to be interesting.

By the time he arrived at the bar, Tessa had already procured her first beverage and he noticed a dark beer in a frosted glass waiting for him.

"Thanks," he mumbled, toasting her before taking a long swig followed by a deep breath. "So you wanna tell me what the hell that was all about?"

"Trevor, why are you doing this?" she asked, almost exasperatedly and it took him by surprise for a minute. But he recovered quickly.

"Marrying Charlie?" he asked, shaking his head a bit. "Because I love her. Because we have a daughter together. And because I want to be with her."

"I just," Tessa said, her voice softening a bit at the admission. "I love Charlie. But, she's had a rough road. And I just worry that she can't give you what you need…what you deserve. You're gonna have to work harder for this."

"Stop," Trevor said firmly, but not in a harsh tone. "She has been through a lot. And I do know I have to work a bit harder. And I get that things will be tough. But, Tess, what you need to understand is that I know all of that. But I love Charlie so much that all of that? It doesn't matter to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, making this better, being there for her."

"How is that fair to you?"

"It's not about being fair," he explained. "It's about loving each other. It's about loving someone so much that you'll do anything for them. And despite what you think, I know that she loves me that much, because I know she's pushing herself out of her comfort zone to have a small ceremony, to get a house, all these things that scare her. She's it for me, Tessa. And you're gonna have to get over this, whatever this is. And I don't know what you said to her…but I didn't like the look in her eyes when we left."

"I guess, well, you're really my only family," she said softly. "And I always hoped that whoever you married would extend my family, not make it…more out of reach."

"I'm not out of reach," Trevor said, patting her hand. "And Charlie, the Tuckers, they love you. And if you can accept this, they will be your family too."

"Ugh," she said suddenly, realizing what she had done. "Oh god, I can't believe I said that to her…"

"She knows you didn't really mean it."

"I mean, I kinda did. Well, maybe not all of it," Tessa paused, finishing her drink then requesting a water. "Fuck."

"Tess…"

"I'm a horrible person" she said.

"No, you're not. You just…had a moment."

"The Tuckers, they were so great to me when you were, well, dead or whatever. And this is how I treat them," she thought out loud as she sipped at her water, shaking her head at her own mess up.

Trevor laughed at the way his sister described those few years of witness protection, but didn't offer any words yet. The truth was, he felt for Tessa but he needed her to come to this understanding on her own. Luckily, she arrived there quickly

"I gotta make this right."

"My guess is it won't take much," Trevor said. "Charlie loves you. And I know things have been bumpy this last year, but maybe now that the bandaid is ripped…we can all start to heal."

"Maybe."

"And you can begin by sleeping this off, then letting us take you to breakfast tomorrow to clear the air. Okay?"

"I'm sorry, Trev," she said softly, leaning over and giving him a side hug. "And I'll fix this. I'll make it right."

"Good," he replied, returning the hug and praying that she really meant what she said.

* * *

Olivia and Charlie were lounging on the couch, laughing at an episode of Gilmore Girls and eating cookie dough with a spoon when the door was thrown open and the sounds of more laughter filled the room. The two women turned around and smiled at the sight of Ed struggling to enter the house, Noah on his back directing him and Lizzie clung to his leg giggling hysterically. All three of them were covered in what appeared to be chocolate ice cream.

"What in the world," Charlie muttered as she stood up to try and help Ed wrangle the overly hyper children. "Dad, what did you do?"

Ed just stood there with an innocent look on his face, still covered in chocolate and children.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he deadpanned, but Lizzie gave him away.

"ICE-CEAM MOMMY!" she yelled, from where she was still hanging on Ed's leg and bouncing, hoping he would keep moving. "It BIG!"

"THIS big!" Noah joined in, moving his hands in a way that led Charlie to believe they may have all eaten a gallon by themselves.

"We went to Scoops," Ed finally admitted. "Ya know, where you can get your own toppings. And, well, it got out of hand."

Charlie just started laughing, her hands on her hips, and called for Olivia to take a picture before she took her own offspring to clean her up.

"Did you eat any of the ice cream, or are you wearing it all?" Olivia asked, pocketing her phone after snapping a few shots and instructing Noah to climb down from Ed.

"About 50-50," Ed said, pulling Olivia to him and kissing at her face, despite her protests and shrieks.

"Ed!" she laughed. "You're getting me all sticky!"

She eventually relented and kissed him, before pulling back and licking her lips.

"But the ice cream tastes good," she quipped, raising an eyebrow.

Charlie rolled her eyes before slinging Lizzie over her shoulder, causing more giggles.

"Come on, No," she called. "I'll do a bubble bath for you two. Mommy and Daddy need a minute."

Noah just rolled his eyes as he followed his sister and niece before delivering a line that dissolved the Tucker house into another fit of laughter.

"That Mommy. She always flirtin' with Daddy."

* * *

 ** _There is just something about Ed Tucker covered in giggling children that makes my heart swoon..._**

 ** _What do you think: Will Tessa turn this around? Is Trevlie finally on solid ground? Will Olivia lick the ice cream off Ed?_**

 ** _Better review!_**


	34. Chapter 34

_**#Tuckson**_

* * *

Ed moved to turn on the shower, checked that the water was warming up, then shuffled over to his wife who was leaning over the bathroom counter. She was dabbing at her face and neck with a damp washcloth, attempting to rid herself of the ice cream residue he left on her.

But Tucker had another goal in mind.

Slinking up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her mid-section and once again buried his face in her neck, peppering it with kisses.

"Ed!" Olivia admonished, though only half-heartedly. "I just got the sticky off…"

"Sorry."

"No you're not," she said, smirking in the mirror and catching his eyes.

"Nope," he responded, biting her shoulder playfully. "Not one bit."

"Ed…" she rasped out as she felt his tongue lick a patch from her shoulder blade, up her neck, and behind her ear. "Oh…god….Ed….not now…"

"Why not now?" he whispered straight into the shell of her ear, before nipping at it.

"Kids….awake…."

"In the bath," he responded simply. "Across the house. With our perfectly capable and acutely aware daughter…"

"Still…"

Olivia's words stopped as one of Ed's hand made a soft trail from her midsection to her leggings, dipping down into them before he gasped and gave her a near evil looking grin.

"Lieutenant…" he admonished. "Commando?"

Olivia just smirked, proud of herself for gaining a little control of the situation. Raising her eyebrow at him in the mirror, she bit her bottom lip and nodded.

Ed let out a groan. His fingers moved softly through her folds as he felt the wetness begin to pool and he watched as her narrowing eyes begin to cloud over. Resistance was futile.

"Ed…" she tried one last time to deter him, but the word Ed was immediately followed by a yelp as he slowly pushed two of his fingers into her center.

"Yes?" he asked innocently, watching her face contort with pleasure in the mirror. Olivia threw her head back, bottom lip still in her teeth, and let out a soft moan.

"Don't stop…"

* * *

Trevor crept into the house a little after eight that evening, unsure if kids were in bed or not. He quickly got his answer, a smile growing on his face as he heard the giggles coming from Lizzie's room. Toeing off his shoes, he headed through the foyer, down the hall, and took a look into the room. Noah and Lizzie were curled up in Charlie's lap on the big rocker they had in the corner. Charlie was reading the next chapter of Narnia, making sure to do some voices and causing laughter to erupt from the kids. Though Lizzie likely had no idea what was happening in the story, she just knew she loved her mother's voice and Noah's giggling was often contagious.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed, having noticed the main in the doorway. "Daddy, wead?"

Charlie looked up with a smile.

"Hey, hun," she said. "Wanna join us?"

"Absolutely," Trevor answered, feeling all of his anxiety from the earlier confrontation melt away as he sat on the floor in front of the chair. He accepted the book from Charlie, and picked up where she left off, getting just as into it, if not more, than she had been.

It wasn't twenty minutes later and both kids were out cold against Charlie's chest. Trevor turned around, smiling softly as he captured a few pictures with his phone.

"Which one should I take?" he whispered, standing up and stretching a bit.

"You wanna put Lizzie down?" Charlie asked, kissing the little girl's forehead before handing her off. She barely stirred. "I'll take Noah."

Charlie cradled the young boy, as if he were still a toddler, and walked him slowly across the house. Passing the living room, she saw that Olivia was back on the couch, reading through some files, freshly showered.

"Just gonna get him in bed," Charlie said with a smile, passing by her mother so she could kiss Noah. "Trevor's in with Lizzie."

"Okay. Thanks for doing bedtime," Olivia said with a smile, pushing her glasses up and going back to her files.

Noah must have woken back up, because Trevor arrived into the living room before Charlie, and did a double take finding Olivia still sitting on the couch.

"Oh, hey," he said softly, awkwardly sitting on the other end of the sofa, unsure of what Charlie had divulged to her mother. "Didn't see you when I came in."

"I just got out here a few minutes ago," she said. "Felt a little…dirty…after the evening outside."

Olivia bit her cheek, trying not to smirk at the real reason she felt dirty. It went right over Trevor's head, either because she was actually cryptic or he was too distracted to read into it.

"Tessa okay?" she asked, finally taking her glasses off and pushing the files aside, giving her soon to be son in law her undivided attention.

"Yeah," he breathed out. "I think so. She's a bit, well, unpredictable."

"Clearly," Olivia said. She didn't want to give Trevor a hard time, but she also planned to make it clear whose side she was on. "You gonna be able to keep her under control the rest of the week? Or do we need to rethink a few plans?"

Trevor let out a sigh and leaned back on the couch, rubbing his chin and staring at the ceiling fan above them.

"She feels bad," he admitted, selective with his words right at first. "Wants to apologize tomorrow."

Olivia didn't say anything, but kept him under her somewhat hardened glare. Trevor eventually felt it and sat up once again, looking the woman in the eyes.

"Tess, for as long as she's been alive, has been somewhat of a loose canon," he began to explain, hoping to give Olivia a little insight into their childhood, their history even. "Our parents were strict and she was a free spirit. Then they died when we were in college and grad school, and she just…well, she's never had that guidance. And I think she's scared that Charlie is so close with her family, that somehow she's going to get pushed aside."

Olivia nodded, following along Trevor's every word and gaining a deeper understanding into the Langan family history. She had always known their parents died young, and it was obvious that Trevor and Tessa were close. Even more obvious in the aftermath of his witness protection stint, but Olivia was seeing more and more of the emotions behind the confrontation earlier. And she was also deeply proud of Charlie, more so now, for the way she handled it.

"I know this afternoon was…tense," Olivia said carefully, but honestly, rubbing her fingers on her lips for a bit as she let the information permeate. "But, Tessa's a part of this family now too. And…we're gonna work this out."

Trevor just let out a breath, grateful for Olivia's generous nature. But then he watched as her expression hardened ever so slightly.

"But Trevor, I have to say something here." she said, her tone coming with a bit of a warning.

"Anything, Olivia," he assured her, adjusting himself so he was facing her and ready to hear what she had to say.

"Charlie is, and always will be, my number one priority in all of this," she said firmly. "And if you marry her, she should be yours too."

"You know she is, and always will be," Trevor said confidently. But Olivia wasn't quite finished.

"Our girl," she said, a wistful smile crossing her features. " _My_ girl…is strong. She's tough. But she shouldn't have to be around us. Around you."

"I get it," Trevor said, nodding his head, knowing where Olivia was going.

"Good," she said, nodding her head. "Good."

* * *

"Look, Charlie, I'm sorry," Tessa said, both hands gripping the coffee mug at the quaint, waterfront brunch location. She was sitting across from Charlie, with Trevor in between them at the light wooden, square, window table overlooking the bay.

"Tessa…" Charlie said, taking a deep breath and preparing to just write it all off, start over. But Tessa was not quite done.

"No," she interrupted. "What I said to you yesterday was horrible."

"It's okay," Charlie sighed out, reaching across and grasping the other woman's arm. "Things have been…tense…for a little while. And it just all came to a boil, and we just need to…put it behind us."

"That's no excuse," Tessa insisted.

To Charlie, her words felt semi-heartfelt. She could tell that Tessa was trying so hard to mean what she said, but there was something else there and she wasn't sure how to address it.

"I know that I was very, distant, last year," Charlie offered. "When Trevor returned, and everything was just…well…crazy. And I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to make you feel left out."

"You had every reason to take time to deal with that," Tessa argued. "It doesn't make what I said to you right, or even close to okay. And…I'm just so sorry that I added to everything."

Charlie was quiet after that, sitting back and taking a sip of her cappuccino. Trevor had remained mostly silent, paying close attention to the dialogue, hopefully that they would make some progress. Despite the words being spoken, he wasn't convinced Tessa really regretted her words and he was confident Charlie was just shoving down the pain and powering through. The women in his life were going to be the death of him.

"Tessa," Charlie began, her voice a little less confident than earlier, peaking Trevor's attention. Her face had a sense of resolve to it, so he knew whatever she said next was going to be the truth. "What you said hurt. And…I think what hurts more is that I feel like you actually think that. And maybe you're sorry for the fact that you said it, but just the idea that you think that about me…about what I've been through…well…"

"Charlie…"

"No," she stopped her, releasing her arm and holding her hand up. "Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Those things you say to yourself that beats you up the most. And imagine that one day, while you are still fighting like hell, someone throws them in your face."

Tessa's eyes dropped and her shoulders slumped, but Trevor let out an odd breath of relief. Finally there was some truth being spoken.

"That's what you did to me yesterday. And, I can't apologize for who I am, and what I've been through. I can apologize for being distant after Trevor returned. And I can apologize for allowing that to continue longer than it should have. But I can't apologize for my life," Charlie whispered, finally finished for the moment. She didn't shed a tear, and her hands were surprisingly steady, but her heart was beating rapidly at how she laid her feelings out on the table.

Trevor watched his sister take in the words and breathe out slowly, before looking up and meeting Charlie's eyes.

"How do I regain your trust?" Tessa finally asked, showing her first sign of true, sincere emotion since she had arrived in New York. "How can I make this right?"

Charlie bit her bottom lip and played with the full packet of sugar she hadn't yet added to her second beverage. She looked over at Trevor, who nodded to her in support, signaling that it was her decision and he was behind her no matter what. Knowing that, and feeling the support of her parents even though they were back home, she gave Tessa a small, teary smile.

"Time," she said simply. "We'll get there."

* * *

The ride back to the Tucker house had been silent so far. Trevor guided their SUV down the familiar roads, Charlie in the passenger seat humming along softly to George Michael. At the next red light, he reached over and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips.

"I'm proud of you," he said, causing Charlie to look up in surprise.

"For what?"

"For being honest with Tessa," he said. "I know that was hard. And I know you just wanted to move on. But…she needed that honesty. And I think you did too."

"Yeah," she whispered, squeezing his hand a bit tighter. "Yeah I did."

"It's gonna be okay, right?" Trevor finally asked, hitting the gas as the light turned green. It was his turn to need the reassurance. "The wedding. Us. Moving next door. All of it?"

"Of course," Charlie said, shrugging her shoulders a bit. "It's bumpy. But, it's been bumpy before and it will get bumpy again. Doesn't change the fact that I love you."

"I've never met anymore more incredible than you, Charlotte Tucker," Trevor said as a smile spread across his face. For the first time in several weeks, he felt like everything was falling into place.

* * *

"Okay, so Rollins arrives tomorrow," Ed recited, reading off of his well-loved list of wedding week activities. "So that means she will be here all day Friday to help get ready for the rehearsal."

"Right," Olivia said, loading the last of the dishes in the dishwasher. She would occasionally steal glances at her husband, sitting at the kitchen island in basketball shorts and a long sleeved NYPD shirt, silver glasses sitting on his nose as he concentrated on whatever it was he was figuring out.

"Carisi, Rollins, Fin…they're all staying at the hotel with Tessa?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "Well, not _with_ Tessa…separate rooms…"

Ed just gave her a look as if to say _I knew that,_ but then smirked.

"The venue is taking care of all the set up and the reception," he listed off. "We have the dress…the tuxes…your dress…"

"Honey," Olivia said, drying her hands and coming up behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest and resting her chin on his shoulder. "Everything's taken care of. There's nothing left to do but just…enjoy it…"

"She seemed happier today," he observed, thinking back to when she Charlie and Trevor had arrived home from brunch. Her smile was big, her laugh was sincere, and she was eager to move stuff into the house next door. "That was good to see."

"It was," Olivia said softly, kissing Ed's neck reassuringly.

"Thank you," Ed said, turning around on the barstool and pulling Olivia to stand between his legs as he stroked her cheek.

"For what?" she asked, a little confused.

"For loving me. Giving me a chance," he responded, twisting her hair in his fingers. "For loving Charlie. For being her Momma. You didn't have to do half the things you did…"

"Ed…"

"I'm serious," he said, interrupting her inevitable refute of his gratitude. "We could've blended our families, sure, but you made sure it wasn't _just_ blended. We are a family. There's no "step" or "half" or anything. We just…are."

"It's how it should be," she shrugged. "I wish we had come together a long time ago…"

"Me too…" he whispered, leaning up a bit and kissing at her lips softly, briefly.

"But you don't have to keep thanking me for this," Olivia said, stroking his cheeks. "I've never wanted anything more than to have the family we have right now. The life that we share together."

"So…" Ed drew the word out, a smirk growing on his face signaling he was done with the serious talk. "You really don't want me to thank you anymore? Cuz that's not whatcha said last night…"

Olivia blushed and let out a laugh, playfully smacking Ed's chest before leaning in and nibbling his ear.

"Well, if _that's_ what you mean by thanking me…then I never want you to stop."

"That's what I thought," Ed responded in his usual confident tone, before pulling Olivia flush against his body, still resting between his legs, and pressing his lips firmly against hers.

* * *

 ** _Up Next: Wedding time! Only a couple chapters left..._**

 ** _Review, please and thank you!_**


	35. Chapter 35

_**#Tuckson**_

* * *

"Holy shit," Ed said collapsing on top of Olivia with his face buried in her neck, both of them panting heavily as the sweat from their morning tryst mixed together between them and ran onto the sheets.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Holy shit."

"I'd move and give you breathing space, but I can't feel anything in my body…"

Olivia laughed at her husband's comment, but she had to agree. The two of them had never had bad sex, but there were a few times that stood out to her. And this would likely remain on that list forever.

Neither one of them had slept particularly well following Charlie and Trevor's rehearsal dinner. The event had gone off without many hitches, but Ed had gotten increasingly quiet as the dinner had progressed. With Tessa being the only one of Trevor's family around, the Tuckers had stepped in and helped her plan the evening, promising to make sure it wasn't glaringly obvious she had needed help. Ed stood and spoke from his heart, speaking of his love for his daughter and his gratefulness that she met someone like Trevor, but Olivia could tell that there was a bubbling sense of anxiety in him, or maybe even dread, as he thought to the next day's event.

They returned home and proceeded to go through the routine of getting Noah in bed, but the house was otherwise quiet. Charlie and Lizzie were staying in a suite at the hotel on site, and Trevor had gone out with a few of his buddies from the city before also staying in the hotel. That silence, the emptiness of the one half of their house, only added to Ed's sense of dread and it began to seep into their bed.

He tossed and turned, grumbling each time about how he needed a new pillow or that the comforter was too heavy for the summer months. Olivia remained on her back, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to say to calm him and soothe him, but she was also nervous.

They made quite a pair.

Finally, a little after three, they both fell into a fitful sleep, Olivia tucked tightly into Ed's chest. He gripped her body as if there was something trying to rip her out of his arms which made it more difficult for her to deeply slumber, but she wouldn't trade the security of that hold for anything. Including sleep. So a couple hours later, still slightly suffocated by Ed's embrace, her hands began to wander, lightly tickling and caressing his chest, stomach, and then under his boxers. Ed groaned a little, eyes still closed but clearly awake as his body began to thrust against her hand and her waist.

"Morning, baby," she had whispered, leaning up to lick at his neck and ear.

That was all it took. They spent the next hour or so wrestling for control in the bedroom. She had started on her back, hands gripping the sheets and head thrashing back and forth, before she mustered up the strength to roll them over. Then it was Ed's turn to grip at the sheets and the back of her thighs as she rode him and teased him. Finally after her second, nearly mind-numbing orgasm, Ed needed to be in control and flipped her back over, holding her hands above her head and eventually spilling into her with a feral cry that Olivia had never heard from him.

That cry led them to this moment, where neither one of them could move. Olivia was hoping it had relaxed Ed some, calmed his racing thoughts, but she soon got her answer when he finally rolled off of her and pulled her into his side, allowing their bare legs to tangle in the crisp, pale yellow bed sheets.

"Today's the day," he murmured, his fingers lightly playing with her hair and softly rubbing the back of her head.

"Yeah…" she sighed out, trying to snuggle in closer, the emotion and weight of the wedding beginning to seep back in.

"It's gonna be okay, right?" Ed asked, a rare moment of vulnerability coming out. He only got this way with Olivia and that was just because their relationship was so strong and built so much on trust that he could occasionally let it slip.

He felt her nod against his chest, her arms tightening around him.

"It will be okay," she said softly, but confidently. "A wise man once told me 'nothing changes except what has to,' and he was right."

She paused, lifting her head and kissing Ed's chin before looking into his worried blue eyes.

"Things aren't gonna change as much as you think, babe," she said quietly. "And it's gonna be okay."

* * *

Amanda released the last strand of Charlie's hair from the curler, playing with it a bit so it fell perfectly against her shoulder. She eyed the girl in the mirror and gave her a smile.

"Ya like it?"

"I love it Amanda," Charlie said, smiling back at her Maid of Honor. "It's perfect…"

"Your hair is so easy," Rollins sassed. "I'd kill for hair that did anything I wanted it to…"

"Nah," she brushed it off. "It just has a million products in it. One day it will protest and just all fall out."

The two women shared a laugh before the door to the suite opened and a jubilant Lizzie came running in, Olivia right behind her.

"You were supposed to wait on us to have all the fun!" Olivia joked, her smile growing as she saw how happy and relaxed the bride was in the moment. Lizzie climbed up in her mother's lap, playing with her necklace.

"Are your lips purple?" Charlie asked, a gleam in her eyes. Lizzie just looked up at her with a smirk identical to Ed Tucker's.

"Papa gived me icee…" Lizzie spilled, unable to keep anything a secret much to Ed's continual dismay.

Charlie just laughed and hugged her close.

"That Papa…"

Lizzie just giggled and climbed down from Charlie's lap, beelining back for Olivia.

"Ollie, up!" she said, arms in the air waiting for Olivia to hoist her up and spin her a bit, before settling her head on the woman's shoulder.

"Charlie you look beautiful," Olivia said, coming to stand behind her and join Amanda in looking at her reflection in the mirror. "I love your hair like this…"

Amanda had curled her light brown locks loosely, pulling a small portion up on the top and teasing it a bit. It framed her slightly rounded face and Tucker jawbone perfectly. The simple ivory, lace gown hung just to the left of the vanity set and having both Charlie and the dress in her line of sight caused Olivia to fight back tears.

Thinking a mother-daughter moment may be needed, Amanda moved to tickle Lizzie and take the toddler.

"Hey, bug, let's go get your face all cleaned up so we can get your pretty dress on!"

Lizzie happily went with Amanda, babbling to her about how she was going to "frow da fowers for Mommy." As the door clicked shut, Charlie let out a long, slow breath and met warm brown eyes in the mirror.

"You okay, Momma?" she asked, her head cocked to the side, reminding Olivia so much of her husband.

"Isn't that my question?" she quipped back, gently arranging Charlie's hair, careful of the curls but needing that contact.

"Maybe, but I asked first."

"I'm okay," Olivia said softly, deciding that the mirror eye contact wasn't enough and squatting down in front of Charlie. She took her hands in her own, kissed them, and looked up at her.

"Don't cry, Momma," Charlie said with a little laugh. "Cuz then I'll cry and our makeup will be ruined…"

Olivia let out a laugh and took one hand to cup her face.

"You look so beautiful," she said. "Just like your Daddy."

"Has he seen you yet?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow and lightening the mood. Olivia had chosen a mocha colored silk gown that lightly clung to all of her curves in the best of ways. It had a v-neck that dipped just low enough to show a bit of cleavage, but not enough to raise eyebrows, and her hair was pulled up with only a few loose strands framing her face.

"No, he hasn't," she allowed, her own smirk growing as she anticipated Ed's reaction and his subsequent inability to keep his hands off of her.

"He's gonna drool all over his tie…"

"That's the plan."

The women just laughed as they shared in the amusement of how smitten Ed Tucker was with his wife.

"But," Olivia continued, changing the subject slightly. "I'm more excited for Trevor to see you…"

"Yeah…"

"I hope he knows just how lucky he is," Olivia got out, still clutching at Charlie.

"I'm the lucky one," Charlie said, smiling at her Momma and hoping to avoid the heartfelt conversation she sensed was coming. But as usual, Olivia was not deterred.

"Sweet girl," she said, moving the hand from Charlie's cheek to stroke a little at her face and shoulders. "You may just be the strongest woman I've ever known. And sometimes I have to pinch myself a little bit that you're mine. That your Daddy shared you with me."

Olivia paused a little, both women thinking back on their time together and gathering their emotions, before she continued.

"Your strength, your grace, is amazing. And you've instilled that in Lizzie, and even Noah, and I just…I love watching it. I love watching our life. Participating in our life."

"Momma…" Charlie said, seeing the woman begin to fight her emotions, but Olivia shook her head.

"I am so proud of you, Charlotte," she said, the tears no longer there. Just resolve. "And I love you so much. And I will always, _always_ be right here as your Momma. No matter what."

"I love you Momma," Charlie said, leaning down and engulfing Olivia in a tight embrace. They stayed that way for a few minutes, before both women stood up and put their game faces on. Charlie did a little spin around the room before eyeing the dress and taking a deep breath.

"Help me get my dress on?"

* * *

"Charlie's gonna kill you when she sees Lizzie's purple mouth," Trevor joked, sipping on a beer as he, Ed, and Tessa lounged around and waiting for the cue to take their places. Ed let out a laugh and held up his glass in a mock toast.

"And here's to passing that along to you," he said jokingly, a gleam in his eye that hid his inner trepidation about the impending nuptials.

Ed and Trevor had been seamlessly passing the time by ribbing each other, trading stories, and also venting about the latest political headline. Tessa, though occasionally joining in, remained mostly quiet. Ed had fretted to Olivia that morning about having to spend so much time with her that day, unsure how to really approach her.

"Just let Trevor guide the conversation," Olivia had suggested. "And try to loosen up. At least for today."

But Ed was finding that difficult. He was fiercely protective of his family, of his daughter, and knowing that Tessa had inflicted a little damage bothered him. But he also remembered how much the young Langan had struggled in the aftermath of Trevor's accident and subsequently witness protection, so he worked hard to quell his own mind and make sure she felt included. It had proven difficult.

"No way you stop spoiling Lizzie," Trevor said before nudging Tessa. "Both of you. And Olivia. The girl is going to be ruined…"

Everyone just laughed, but they had to agree. Little Lizzie Tucker, soon to be Lizzie Tucker-Langan, had everyone wrapped around her little toddler finger.

"She's a good kid," Tessa said softly, sipping on a white wine spritzer. "She'll be fine."

"Did you see Noah's face when she came out the other day with his broken Lego tunnel?" Trevor asked Tessa, remembering back to when they were tall at the Tucker house, moving some things around.

Tessa let out a hearty laugh, which Ed quickly joined in on, as they thought back.

"I really thought he was gonna get mad," Ed mused. "But he didn't…"

"He was like a mini-adult," Tessa added. "Taking that deep breath and speaking slowly to her."

The three adults shook their heads and smiled, sipping their drinks and thinking about the dynamic.

"It's really fun to watch them together," Tessa said thoughtfully. "Lucky kids to have this family."

That comment tugged at Ed a little bit and he eyed Trevor, who was watching his sister carefully. The room fell silent before Ed stood up and cleared his throat.

"Well, none of us have to worry about that anymore," he said casually, shrugging his shoulders and looking at Tessa so she knew that she was included. "We've got the best family there is."

Tessa swallowed hard, fighting the tears that burned in the back of her eyes. Trevor just smiled, patting her arm, and responded to Ed.

"Ya got that right."

"But," Ed continued, his smirk returning, "if I'm about to give my daughter away to this knucklehead, I need another drink."

* * *

Ed paced along the back porch of the hotel, occasionally looking out over the small group that was gathered in white chairs on the lawn, facing the ocean. He was nervous. Checking his watch for the tenth time, he sighed in relief as the doors opened and Olivia appeared, holding them open. That was when he lost the ability to think.

Charlie gingerly stepped out, Amanda carrying her little train and also holding Lizzie's hand, so the young bride could make sure she didn't trip over the steps.

"Charlie…" Ed breathed out, finding his voice and walked over to take her hand and kiss it. "You are…breathtaking."

She just ducked her head and blushed a bit.

"Better get used to that, honey," Amanda said, chuckling a bit. "I know it's a small wedding, but people are gonna be gushing all evening."

They all smiled a bit, but then moved away to give Ed a moment with his daughter.

"You ready?" he asked simply, seeing that she was on the verge of tears and if he were honest, he was too.

"Yeah," Charlie nodded, before smiling at him and leaning to kiss his cheek. "Thank you. I love you, Daddy."

Ed's breath caught in his throat again. Her words were also simple, much like their usual conversations. He wasn't much for the emotional side of things and left that primarily to Olivia, but in this moment he felt he needed to say something. The problem was that, ultimately, the moment had left him speechless. So he squared his shoulders and tried to dig up coherent words.

"Things are looking up, Charlie," he said, moving to wipe a stray tear from her cheek as the duo thought back on their journey to this moment. "I'm proud of you. I love you. And I'm not going anywhere."

Amanda cleared her throat, causing the father-daughter duo to turn and see that the violinist was now in place and beginning to play "A Thousand Years" along with the pianist. They all took yet another deep breath and Ed signaled that he'd be right back, taking Olivia's arm and leading her down the aisle.

"You okay?" Amanda asked, watching Charlie fret over Lizzie's little tiara.

"Yeah," she said softly, looking up at her before kissing her daughter. She stood back up, seeing Ed making his way back up the stairs. "Let's do this."

Amanda just nodded and began to make her way down the aisle. Ed once again repeated the instructions to Lizzie and Noah, but Noah brushed him off and gave him a look.

"I know, Daddy," he said, indignant that people kept giving him instruction. "I help Lizzie. It okay."

Charlie just laughed and nudged Ed.

"Yeah Dad, it will be okay," she meant her words for Noah and Lizzie, but they held a deeper meaning, and Ed picked up on it immediately.

Noah and Lizzie finally took off, the young girl overly jubilant and throwing the white and yellow rose petals all over the aisle and a few of the guests. Chuckles emerged from the audience and Trevor gave her a thumbs up as she ran the extra couple of feet into his arms and let him snuggle her a bit. Noah shook his head and went to stand by Tessa, making sure he followed each and every instruction given to him. Once he arrived, he stood tall and smiled at his mother, waving slightly to her.

That was when the piano and violin got a bit louder, causing Trevor to send Lizzie over to Amanda and turn his head to see Charlie appear through the archway on the arm of a stoic Ed Tucker. They made their way slowly down the aisle, neither pair of eyes moving from each other's, until they stopped and Ed cleared his throat.

He gripped Charlie's hand tighter, and a bit longer, than he was supposed to before leaning over to kiss her cheek, handing her over to Trevor. Making a quick exit, he took his seat next to Olivia. He was still stiffly poised, sitting straight up with his shoulders back. Olivia reached out and rubbed at his neck a bit. Ed finally relaxed a tad and looked over at his own bride.

The older couple sat and listened to Charlie and Trevor recite their vows, committing their lives to each other, and the Tuckers couldn't help but mouth along to the words, silently recommitting to each other, and to their family. Ed occasionally pulled Olivia's hand to his lips, and she would inch closer and closer until her head was resting on his shoulder.

"I love you," she whispered, leaning over to lightly kiss his lips. That finally did it. Ed smiled and relaxed fully into the moment, taking her hand and holding it tightly in his lap.

"I love you too."

* * *

 ** _One more to go...but first, ya gotta review._**


	36. Chapter 36

**_Last one. #Tuckson_**

* * *

 **One Year Later**

"You're so cute when you're grumpy," Trevor said as he stood in the doorway to their master bedroom. He just finished putting Lizzie down and had gone back to check on his wife, who was now a little over eight months pregnant and on bedrest.

"Hmph," Charlie grunted out, trying to adjust her legs a bit where they were propped up, and eventually giving up with a huff. "I'm fat and miserable. Hardly cute."

"You're always cute," Trevor said gently, coming over to adjust the pillow under her ankles as he began to rub at them.

"Sweet Jesus that feels good," she moaned out, eyes closing and taking some deep breaths. "I hope this little guy makes his entrance soon. I'm tired of being tired."

"Soon, baby," he said softly, concentrating on his task. "I know you're miserable, but…"

His voice caught in his throat causing Charlie's attention to snap to his face. She stiffened and reached for his hands, taking them in hers and rubbing her fingers along his palm.

"What is it, Trev?" she asked, her head cocked to the side and her eyes wide.

Trevor just shook his head, willing tears away, before meeting those piercing blue eyes of hers.

"I missed this part last time," he whispered. "The grumpiness and the labor and the delivery and all of it. And I just…I know you are ready for this to be over, but I'm just so grateful I get a second chance."

Charlie's eyes welled with tears as they continued to gaze at each other, hands firmly held in the other's. Not long after they returned from their honeymoon, the couple started actively trying for another child. It wasn't lost on either of them that Trevor was a bit older and since expanding their family was a priority, they got to work. Within a couple of months, they broke the good news to Ed and Olivia who instantly began planning to update their now spare bedrooms with a crib so both grandkids could stay over at any point. Trevor doted on Charlie in between his commuting back and forth from the city, still taking cases and building up their nest.

Time passed quickly for the family, Charlie's pregnancy going smoothly and Trevor soaking up every moment of it. But as her due date approached, the couple got apprehensive. After all, it was at this moment the first time when their lives got turned upside down. Trevor was a little extra clingy, and would occasionally annoy Charlie. But their lines of communication stayed open, so it never got out of hand.

Now, as Charlie sat back and observed his face, her features softened and she began to rub his arms a bit.

"Hey," she whispered, reaching up with one hand to cup his chin. "No more of that thinking. You're gonna be right there, holding my hand, the entire time. And pretty soon, you'll be holding your screaming, red-faced son."

"You tell your parents the name yet?" Trevor asked, shaking his emotions off and deciding they had enough of the sad talk. It was time to look forward.

"No. I figure we will when they meet him."

"I love you," Trevor whispered, leaning forward and beginning to kiss his wife. Slowly at first, but she quickly deepened it, causing him to moan and adjust so he held himself above her body on the bed.

"Trevor…." she said softly. "Tessa…."

"Doors are closed," he said, brushing off the nearby presence of his sister who had come out for a visit, in hopes of being around for the birth. "And she's out cold. Has been since, oh, seven. Thank God for jet-lag."

He made his way down her neck and collar bone, hands caressing her expanded belly and her sides, before getting a bit more aggressive and biting at her earlobe. But he stopped abruptly when her body tensed and she let out an unpleasant scream.

"Owwwwww," she said, her eyes wide and panicked looking.

"What?" Trevor asked, alarmed and immediately feeling guilty. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"No," she gasped, scrambling to sit up. Or as much as she could scramble at this point. "Not you."

Her face had broken out into a sweat and Trevor noticed her body beginning to tremble.

"Charlie? Baby?"

"Oh god," she gasped, her face in a grimace. "Something's wrong, Trevor…."

* * *

Ed, Olivia, and Noah were camped out at the dining room table with Monopoly Deal spread out in front of them. Noah was still learning the concept of the game, but Ed would patiently answer all of his questions and Olivia would often check his cards and help him select a good move. He was quickly becoming a master, and Ed was convinced that soon he'd be haggling them over the full board game.

"Okay," Noah said, chewing his bottom lip and thinking hard about his next play. "I gonna….STEAL DAT PROPERTY!"

He laid down his steal card and grinned at his dad, as Ed let out a groan and pretended to be upset that he was once again about to get beaten by his son.

"You sure you don't want anything of Mommy's?" Ed asked, a last ditch effort. But Noah shook his head hard.

"No," he said. "I want THAT one."

"Fine," Ed grumbled, handing Noah his newly acquired piece of property and let out a sigh. "I'm never gonna win this game again, am I?"

Olivia was watching the exchange with an amused smile, and she leaned over to peck Ed's lips after his question.

"No," she said, before kissing him again. "Probably not."

"Ewwwwwwww," Noah squealed, exaggerating his disgust at the PDA.

Ed and Olivia chuckled before Olivia returned to her seat and began her turn. She was just about to lay down her choice when the doorbell rang, causing the family of three to jump.

"What the…" Ed said, standing up and checking the time. "No one ever rings the doorbell this late…"

Olivia, not overly worried but wanting to be cautious, told Noah to stay at the table and walked behind Ed to the front door. But she watched as his shoulders dropped in relief and he swung the door open to a wide-eyed Tessa and a sleeping Lizzie.

"Hey you two," he said, ushering them in before his stomach dropped. Something was wrong. "What's going on?"

"Trevor just took Charlie to the hospital," Tessa exclaimed. "Sharp pains. Bleeding. I came here to stay with Noah so you two could get up there."`

That was all the older couple needed to hear. They scurried around, grabbing shoes and purses and wallets before kissing Noah and heading out the door. Tessa laid Lizzie on the sofa, then went to at the table with Noah, who looked a little confused at what had just taken place.

"Charlie havin' da baby?" he asked, his blue eyes wide with curiosity. Knowing that the last time Charlie went into labor brought up other bad memories, Ed and Olivia had prepped Noah for the possibility of a quick exit once her water broke. So the little boy was very aware of what had happened and was quickly settling back down, having a casual conversation with Tessa.

"I think so," Tessa said with a smile, deciding it was best to just not think about the worst-case scenarios. "We'll have a nephew pretty soon!"

"Wow," Noah said, before giving Tessa a sly smile. "Wanna play me in Mono'ply before da nephew born?"

"You betcha."

"I gonna win," he said, gathering up the old game and getting ready to deal a new one.

"Yeah, you probably will."

* * *

Ed and Olivia stood outside of the nursery, hand in hand, watching the hustle of the nurses beginning to clean up the new baby. His entrance into the world had been abrupt, and pretty terrifying, but he seemed to handle it in stride. Olivia looked up and watched as Ed's eyes followed his grandson as he squirmed through his first bath and was placed under the warmer in his diaper. His little red arms and legs flailing around as he would occasionally let out a cry, just making sure the nurses knew he was still there. Ed put his free hand on the window, as if to try and calm his grandson down and Olivia just rubbed his back.

"He's okay, babe," she soothed him, knowing the man was worried and refusing to show it.

Ed just nodded.

"Just wanna hear about Charlie," he said softly as Olivia rested her head on his shoulder.

"Me too," she said emotionally. "But the doctor said they got in there with enough time. So it's just a matter of getting her stitched back up and stabilized."

"Jesus," Ed sighed, rubbing a hand over his face but keeping his eyes on the baby. "That was terrifying."

"It was," Olivia agreed, before fully wrapping her arms around her husband and resting against his chest as they watched the baby begin to settle down in his little warmer.

Not long after the couple had arrived at the hospital and found their daughter and son-in-law, the doctor realized her placenta had ruptured and rushed Charlie into the operating room for a c-section. Trevor barely had enough time to get into a gown and scrub down before the baby had been delivered and whisked off to the nursery. Neither Ed nor Olivia had been able to see Charlie at all, but the nurses assured them she was doing okay and was just very out of it. But as the couple stood outside of the nursery, guarding the new addition to their family, it all began to catch up to them.

"Trevor looked frantic," Ed mused, still not ready to calm his nerves down.

"He did," Olivia admitted, "but I can't blame him…we all were."

She shuddered, thinking back to the agonizing minutes they spent in the waiting room, hoping and praying that everything was going okay, jumping at every little noise in hopes it was a nurse or doctor coming to tell them good news.

Olivia was about to open her mouth to try and offer a little more reassurance, despite her own anxiety, when movement in the nursery distracted them and they watched Trevor enter in a fresh gown. He waved at them before eagerly taking his newborn son into his arms. Rocking him and kissing at his head, he spoke to him, though Ed couldn't make out the words, before walking to the window and letting the grandparents get a closer look.

Ed looked like he was about to jump through the window as he waved and spoke to his grandson. Olivia, though, was quiet. Staying in his arms and allowing the emotion of the moment to wash over her. Just then a throat cleared behind them, so they reluctantly turned from the baby to face the doctor.

"How's our daughter?" Olivia asked quickly, hand gripping Ed's.

"Just fine," he assured them. "She's sore and emotional, but everything went just fine once we got in there."

"Thank god," Olivia whispered out, her body finally relaxing as she let a few tears escape. She had been the strong one throughout the crisis, but now it was her turn to just breathe.

"She's asking for you," he said, nodding at Olivia. "So if you wanna come with me, we can get you scrubbed down and to her recovery room."

"Okay," she said, looking up to Ed and kissing him on the cheek. "You'll be okay?"

"I'm just fine," he assured her. "Go take care of our girl."

He watched as the doctor and Olivia hurried down the hallway and disappeared behind the double doors, before turning his attention back to his grandson. Trevor was still just rocking him and smiling. Once he noticed Ed standing there, Trevor said something to the nurse and before he knew it, they were waving him in.

* * *

"Momma?" Charlie asked, her voice groggy and her eyes only half open, but her head was moving around trying to locate the source of the soothing voice.

"Right here, sweet girl," Olivia cooed, shifting her chair closer to the bed and running her hand through the girl's hair. "It's okay, baby. You did just great. And so did the baby."

"Son…my son…." Charlie said, still not totally with it but alert enough to know her baby was no longer inside of her, and out in the world somewhere.

"He's with his Daddy and his Papa in the nursery," she said. "And he's just beautiful. Already stealing the hearts of the nurses."

"Good," she said, still not totally relaxed but Olivia could tell that soothed her just a bit. "I want to hold him…see him…"

"You will," she promised. "Soon. Right now I just need you to rest. Let your body heal, okay?"

"Kay…" she said, eyes closing but her hand reaching out for something. Olivia immediately took it in her own and kissed it.

"I'm right here, Charlie," she assured her. "Everyone's okay, no one's alone, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Love you, Momma."

"I love you too, baby," Olivia responded, trying to keep her tears at bay now that everything was just fine with her family again. "And I'm so proud of you."

* * *

"He's got my jaw," Ed said, standing proudly as he cradled his grandson in the hospital room the next morning.

"He does," Olivia said from her perch on the bed, fussing with Charlie's hair. "Can't deny that kid is a Tucker…"

"Then I guess he will fit his name," Trevor quipped reaching out to take Charlie's hand.

"Oh yeah?" Ed said, finally turning from where he was pointing out the trees to the baby in the window. He walked over and handed him back to Charlie, who cradled the tiny infant close to her chest. "Well are ya gonna tell us the name, or do we hafta guess?"

"Go ahead," Trevor said, signaling it was Charlie's name to reveal. She just grinned at her dad.

"Mom, Dad, meet Tucker Allen Langan."

Ed's smile filled his entire face, the creases of his eyes wrinkling more than Olivia had ever seen.

"Tucker, huh?" he said, trying to brush off he emotion and instead appear to be cocky and proud. "Well, that's only appropriate if he's gonna support the Tucker jaw."

"Yep," Charlie said with a smile, looking over to Trevor. "Lizzie and Tucker Langan. Sounds pretty perfect to me."

* * *

"The pride on your face is intense," Olivia observed later that evening, loving nothing more than just how Ed's face was glowing in the dusk of the evening. "It's a top three favorite look of mine - when you ooze pride."

"Two kids, two grandkids, all within an arm's reach. We gotta lot to be proud of," Ed responded, tearing his eyes from the kids and giving his wife a smile reserved just for her. "We did good, Liv."

"We sure did," she says, before eyeing him with a smirk. "Still plenty of things to do good."

Ed's face blushed a little bit, before he narrowed his blue eyes and looked his wife up and down.

"We're always gonna do that good, baby," Ed quipped before leaning over and kissing her softly, running his tongue along her lips, teasing what he anticipated would be an amorous night once the kids were asleep. "I love you."

Olivia, eyes still closed, leaned forward and rubbed her nose against his, her lips curled in a content grin.

"I love you too. I love our family. I love our life."

Just as Ed was getting ready to respond, a little shriek came from near the water table. One quick look told the couple there was nothing urgent, but little Lizzie looked shaken up so Olivia got to her feet and jogged over. She sat down on the grass and pulled the little girl into her lap, rocking her back and forth and totally giving into the pitiful cries.

Ed took a sip of his beer and observed the sight: Olivia Benson sitting cross-legged on the grass, her granddaughter curled in her lap and her son blowing bubbles into her face. Her nose crinkled as she laughed, and the brown in her eyes was shining brighter than he had ever seen. Puffing his chest out and letting out a chuckle, Ed Tucker once again got the proud smirk crossing his features. It had been a long road, but he got what he wanted out of life and he gave his wife everything she wanted and more. As he sat on their back porch, observing the sight, a feeling of pure contentment washed over him. This was endgame, what he was experiencing in the moment, and it had been worth every battle they fought along the way.

* * *

 ** _And that's a wrap! Thank you all for coming along on the TucksoNoahLie ride with me. I've loved writing this family, and I'm a little sad to see it end. Maybe I'll drop random snippets and one-shots (feel free to message me requests), but this is the end of the full-length stories featuring this particular universe._**

 ** _#Tuckson #Endgame #Always_**


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